If...Then

Isaiah 58:3-14

"We have fasted before you," they say, "Why aren't you impressed? Why don't you see our sacrifices? Why don't you hear our prayers? We have done much penance, and you don't even notice it!" I'll tell you why! Because you are living in evil pleasure even while you are fasting, and you keep right on oppressing your workers. Look, what good is fasting when you keep on fighting and quarreling? This kind of fasting will never get you anywhere with me. Is this what I want - this doing of penance and bowing like reeds in the wind and putting on sackcloth and covering yourselves with ashes? Is this what you call fasting?

No, the kind of fast I want is that you stop oppressing those who work for you and treat them fairly and give them what they earn. I want you to share your food with the hungry and bring right into your own homes those who are helpless, poor and destitute. Clothe those who are cold and don't hide from relatives who need your help.

If you do these things, God will shed his own glorious light upon you. He will heal you; your godliness will lead you forward and goodness will be a shield before you, and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind. Then, when you call, the Lord will answer. "Yes, I am here," he will quickly reply. All you need to do is to stop oppressing the weak, and to stop making false accusations and spreading vicious rumors!

Feed the hungry! Help those in trouble! Then your light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you shall be as bright as day. And the Lord will guide you continually, and satisfy you with all good things, and keep you healthy too; and you will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring. Your sons will rebuild the long-deserted ruins of your cities, and you will be known as "The People Who Rebuild Their Walls and Cities."

If you keep the Sabbath holy, not having your own fun and business on that day, but enjoying the Sabbath and speaking of it with delight as the Lord's holy day, and honoring the Lord in what you do, not following your own desires and pleasure, not talking idly - then the Lord will be your delight, and I will see to it that you ride high, and get your full share of the blessings I promised to Jacob, your father. The Lord has spoken.

The Daily Walk Bible

Wayne's World

Friends are special people, and I have some pretty great ones!  I'm taking you into the heart of one of my friends who enjoys snapping photos of the simple joys of life, and he shares them with me!  Who could ask for more.  When he's not fly fishing, puttering around in his wood shop, or hanging out at the church, he's home taking care of a zillion cats running free in the neighborhood, hanging out watching westerns with Miss Kitty, his house cat, and his dog, Sassy.  He has a recent addition to the family named Wally Woodchuck who lives under the wood shop and enjoys giving the cats grief. He enjoys his quiet life and special friends, and I'm always anxious to receive new pics and home town news!

Pretty soon I'll be back in Virginia at the Dinwiddie house catching up on all the goings on, and hopefully doing some sightseeing of favorite old haunts and some new discoveries.  I used to love exploring the azalea gardens, going to parks, especially Maymont Park in Richmond.  When my children were little they loved going to visit the animals, especially the skunk who, although de-skunked, still had an alluring aroma clinging around him like Pig Pen's cloud of dust!  For some reason my kids always looked forward to seeing the ole guy!  Any day was a good day to enjoy a picnic in the park!

When I was a kid my papa used to take me to see Pocahontas in Jamestown.  I loved riding the ferry boat, and I hear it has been restored, so perhaps I'll get to take a ride while home.  Wouldn't that be a hoot!  Whatever I do I know I'll have fun relaxing, and I definitely can use some of that!

The best spot of all is hanging around home, swinging on a porch swing, watching the sun go down and the critters frolic on the lawn, catching fire flies, then watching them light up the sky as they are set free!  Memories!

Enjoy the pics!

My World

There's something to be said about the simple life.  Lazy days sitting on the porch swing, sipping lemonade, watching the sun go down, and dreaming.  Hopefully the time is shared with someone you love.  Perhaps a school chum, a family member, or simply enjoying the solitude of time alone after a long work day.  I call it "thinking time" which to me means reflecting on the day, the moment or the hopes for tomorrow.

We all need time to be quiet and simply "be" in the moment. Settled down, peaceful, listening to the songs of nature, watching hummingbirds in flight or fight, or enjoying the antics of the friendly woodchuck vying for his place in the world against feral cats. Simple pleasures we often overlook, because we get so busy "doing", existing, competing.  Taking time to be grateful for the incredible richness of life!  We may not have all we want, but we do usually have what we need, if we really look.

I feel sorry for kids today who haven't experienced the life I had as a country gal growing up in Virginia.  We didn't have all the gadgets and gismos children have today to occupy their time.  I even remember a time without television.  To me it was a real treat to go visit my grandparents, papa and grammy, when on Saturday nights we watched Lawrence Welk or Roller Derby.  Whereas this may appear boring to most it was heaven to me.  Not really the tv shows, but the company I kept.

Going to my grandparents' home was a true adventure.  I had the great woods around me to explore the streams, climb the rocks, build branch and leaves fortresses, and ride my valiant tree limb stallion.  I'd rake leaves just to roll down the hill and watch them fly.  My cousin and I used to have so much fun!  Playing in the smoke house with broken shards of pottery or pieces of broken china we scrounged out of the earth from previous players. My childhood holds a wonderful blend of explorations and discoveries.  I think that's why I see wonder in the simple things in life.

Many people long for travel to foreign lands to sleep in the finest hotels, shop in pricey boutiques, and dine at elegant restaurants.  These are good dreams, but my longings are more imaginative.  I have always wanted to backpack across Europe or visit the jungles of Africa to meet and experience the everyday lives of the people I encounter along the way, to share in their ways of living, listen to their stories, and see the beautiful world God created for us to enjoy.

I travel almost daily along the back roads of New Mexico, off the beaten path I know so well.  There's not a bump in the road or a flooding arroyo I have not encountered, villages some dare not go, but I love it all.  The more unlovely it appears to others, all the more desirable it is to me.  There is beauty in the places, in the faces everywhere I go.  I love my little place in this world and these precious people I call my friends.  There is no pretense of worldliness here, only the simple life.  A place I hold dear, where I can drink in the natural beauty and breathe the fresh air!  So liberating!

Simply Put

Receiving inspiration for blogging really isn't that difficult a task.  We can look all around us and see the wonder of the Lord in every bit of creation, in the people around us, and in the things that we do.  Each day as I take the time to meet with God and read His wonderful words of life I am amazed at how much He thinks about us, the plans He put in place before the creation of the world. 

I am reading the book of Isaiah now where God is telling His people His plans to use a heathen king to bring peace and restore the nation Israel.  He is speaking of future plans using a king who will not be born for centuries.  It speaks of the unwavering love of a Father for His wayward children.  In the light of all that is happening in our world today, what has already taken place, and our fears of what lies ahead, God's love never changes.

We do at times question His methods, ask Him why this or that happened, why a child was born with a disability, or wonder why when He can do "all things" He seemingly looks the other way.  I have no answer other than what He says so clearly in Isaiah 45:9 - 10: 

"Woe to the man who fights with his Creator. Does the pot argue 

with its maker? Does the clay dispute with him who forms it, saying,

'Stop, you're doing it wrong?' or the pot exclaim, 'How clumsy can you be!''

Woe to the baby just being born who squalls to his father and mother, 'Why

have  you produced me? Can't you do anything right at all?'"

We will always have questions as human beings struggling to understand the whys and whatnots of our age.  This is where the "Trust Me" comes into play.  We either do or we don't; there is no middle ground.  He is God; there is no other.

Insanity

Edvard Munch was a Norwegian Expressionist painter of the 20th century best known for his piece called "The Scream".  He described his inspiration for the depiction in his diary, "One evening I was walking along a path, the city was on one side and the fjord below. I felt tired and ill. I stopped and looked out over the fjord—the sun was setting, and the clouds turning blood red. I sensed a scream passing through nature; it seemed to me that I heard the scream. I painted this picture, painted the clouds as actual blood. The color shrieked. This became The Scream."  

A study into the life of this artist reveals the influence of his father, Christian Munch, who was a physician and medical officer who raised his family after the death of his mother, Laura, who died of tuberculosis. of his father Munch wrote: 

"My father was temperamentally nervous and obsessively religious—to the point of psychoneurosis. From him I inherited the seeds of madness. The angels of fear, sorrow, and death stood by my side since the day I was born."

I've always envied the way an artist is able to capture the expression of the soul, the cry of madness onto a canvass or within the lines of poetry or delve into the depths of insanity as envisioned in the works of Edgar Allan Poe, who was born in Boston but raised and educated in Virginia.  Poe is famous for his literary tales of the macabre best depicted in his works, "The Tell-Tale Heart" and "The Pit and the Pendulum".   I remember as a teenager performing in a public speaking class my rendition of his famous narrative poem, "The Raven" which begins:

 Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore—
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"'Tis some visiter," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door—
            Only this and nothing more."

It's 1:42 am as I pen these words -  I know not why.  Perhaps it expresses the depth of the horror of the pain bringing me down into the depths. As I end the thoughts two hours past my pain has eased, but I am afraid to try to decline upon my bed, put head to pillow for fear I will awaken once more body wretched in pain as I endure this agony.  I am being put to the test again tonight, but thankful that my waking hours will be less dramatic, a reprieve from this hideous adventure of endurance.  Only thirteen days left to meet my tormentor face to face again and receive my verdict..."Quote the Raven, nevermore."

 

Humbly, I Come

I've had a lull in my blogging as you have noticed if you have been following me.  It's interesting, not surprising at all, yet it hits me hard each time I am tested, that when I praise God or reveal a truth He has spoken to me, I get hit in several areas of my life.  I say that it is not surprising as I realize where my attack comes from, or rather, from whom.  The interesting part is that whereas I am not surprised by the attack, the area of the attack is one that is re-visited over and over again.  The minute I feel that I have finally gained victory in this area or areas of my life, and I openly praise God, then WHAM I get slammed harder.

So, do I give up?  Not really, but I often do retreat, because the same reaction follows the attack...unworthiness!  There are several reactions actually, but they all boil down to one lie that keeps me bound...or so it may appear, because it is in those times that I do not retreat to cower in self-loathing or self-pity but to understand.  Well, I already know who is behind it, right?  Then I should already understand why!  The "why" is that I am stepping on his toes, getting in his face, and messing with his plans.

My only goal is to be like Jesus and to do what I am called to do in this life.  Over and over God is bringing me back to the same place again and again.  I begin to "see", but then my vision is clouded by tests that are allowed to come into my life, because my focus is not where it needs to be.  I think it is, but it is not!

I finally decided to take the course "In Christ's Image" after literally years of waiting for the "right time", because in the human perspective, there will never be a "right time".  We are not called to operate in our time, but in God's good and perfect timing.  I chose the right time, as it is right in the middle of the biggest tug of war of my heart as I have ever endured.

This week I was once more tested in an area where I have succumbed in the past but risen victorious through the vindication of my God, as He promises to those who trust in Him.  I am waiting now, and I know I shall once more be victorious as the truth always wins. We may not think that given the situations in this life and certainly in what we see in the world affairs, yet in the end, the end that we are awaiting in expectation, Truth wins and the righteous prevail.  Read "The Book"!

Besides my class which I believe is 6 months long in the first phase...whew, hand on to your hats!...I began a Bible study in my home.  The Lord revealed another thing to me about this study which "I" felt should be about prayer.  We pray for "HIS" will not "ours", yet we walk in "ours" most of the time, true?  While the study will always have the beginning as prayer, He said that this study will be the beginning of my first "Island of Misfit Toys" vision which He birthed in my heart.  Now for you who do not recall, I launched my public blog on Facebook, Home Again, with a blog about this subject.  To remind you, it reads:


"There is a place where I can go and not feel alone. A place of wonder, beauty, laughter, acceptance and new beginnings.  A place where trust and respect are not earned but granted freely. Where I can go without the guilt and shame of past regrets imprisoning me.  To a place where I feel worthy, believed in, accepted for who I am, capable of accomplishing the impossible, helped when I am weak, forgiven when I am wrong. A place where I can forgive myself and others, realizing we are all fragile and capable of wrong thoughts and deeds, but where we can rise above anything on the wings of faith. To begin again, to be made brand new, with the strength of others, who are just like me, just like you. No longer alone, no longer excluded, living together in harmony, love and faith. Where the impossible dreams become possibilities and realities!"


My first night of Bible study only one person, other than myself, was here.  I believe that was as it was supposed to be, because God is in control.  To be honest with y'all, as I was with her, I was so relieved no one else came, because I have been so beaten down lately with physical illness, recovery from surgery, and persecution in every direction that I didn't want to teach anything!  I was tired!  I was beaten, bruised and bleeding spiritually.  But I was faithful, and I did what God said do by being there regardless of how I felt!  Of course, it is in my home, so where else would I be?!  But I opened the door, and I shared what God had laid on my heart, and I pray He uses His Word spoken through me, unwilling as I was at the moment, sort of like Jonah, to touch an area in her heart where she is being tested, so she will rise victorious in Christ Jesus her Lord.

The focus of my island is to destroy the lies, be set free, and live a life of victory!  So we begin...! 

A fervent prayer rose up to heaven, a fragile soul is losing ground
Sorting through this earthly babble, heaven heard the sound

This was a life with no distinction, no successes, only tries
Yet gazing down on this unlovely one, there was love in heaven's eyes
 
Chorus
In heaven's eyes, there are no losers, in heaven's eyes no hopeless cause
Only people like you with feelings like me 
amazed by the grace we can find
In heaven's eyes
 

A restless child, a wayward father, a lonely traveler in the rain
When life goes on and no one bothers heaven feels the pain
Looking down, He sees each heart ache, knows each sorrow, hears each cry  
And looking up, we see compassion's fire ablaze in heaven's eyes
 

Chorus

In heaven's eyes, there are no losers, in heaven's eyes no hopeless cause
Only people like you with feelings like me
And we're amazed by the grace we can find
In heaven's eyes!

  "In Heaven's Eyes"

by

Sandi Patty

Carried on Wings

The alarm went off at 5:30 this morning, but I had already been semi-conscious for a few minutes.  I was lying there on my propped up pillow marveling that although I could feel the pain, I was being lifted above the sensation.  I could still feel it, but yet, it seemed distant to me, and I was able to function again.  Is this what it feels like to be carried on the wings of prayer?

For days  now I have been battling nausea, my pain level has been so high.  Unable to take medication I  had little relief except using ice and dousing my already inflamed body in the heat of hot tub soaks to somehow relax the muscle tension that was mounting under the stress of the pain. 

My high tolerance for pain comes from a lifetime of living with off the charts chronic pain, beginning in childhood with constant migraine headaches and abdominal pain.  As I grew older it progressed at times to whole body pain moving from one side until the total body was engulfed with inflammation and pain, spinal headaches also a byproduct as well as nausea, sensitivity to smell, sight and hearing.  But somehow in the midst of all the unrelenting torment I lived, functioned, and endured.  Some of my worst days were the best days, as I had to retreat to my bed, window curtains drawn to evade even the tiniest stream of light, soundless except for the pounding in my ears of my heart beat.  I would eventually drift away, suspended somehow in this place of inner rest, and I prayed.  I prayed for anyone and anything God brought to mind. " It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..." as Charles Dickens writes in  "A Tale of Two Cities". I guess somehow, even in the midst of pain, I am arriving at that place above it all, carried on the wings of prayer.  I have no other name for it than "Grace".

And My Point Is...?

I recently remarked to a friend that as I shower in the morning I talk to God.  I guess you could call it my "prayer closet" these days.  After all the water drowns out the outside distractions and noises, and as I am washing the outside, prayer cleanses the inside....right?!  Well, regardless, it is a time of great inspiration, a time when I receive the most wonderful songs, melodies, prophetic words, which require me to stop everything so I can write them down!  Sometimes I am in and out of there so much there's a puddle!  I reminded the Lord that writing something down while I was getting ready for work on Good Friday was the reason I now  have a busted shoulder! My friend suggested I buy a waterproof notebook.  Well, I wish it were that simple.  I tried a tape recorder, but the water drowns out my soft voice.  Yes, I do have a soft voice, albeit a sharp tongue!  Not so, folks, I am making sport of myself.  I am allowed to do that.  But then, if anyone has ever been on the receiving end of one of my retorts, I may well be considered as having a sharp tongue!  My friend says I'm sweet, so I prefer to think of myself as such. Who is my "friend" I keep mentioning?  That's for another blog!

I'm not sure why I even started out talking about this, but the point I was trying to make is that I get good ideas at inopportune moments.  For instance, in the morning after I am ready to head to my office across the living room, I take a few minutes to pray again before the insanity begins.  Invariably in those moments without fail I receive some of my greatest insight into the heart of the person for whom I am praying.  I want to stay there interceding for as long as it takes to break through for that dear heart, but I have to start my day. Nights, like tonight, I cannot seem to get to sleep, because my mind is wide awake with things the Lord is teaching me, ways He is pruning me, preparing me, instructing me. But since it is nearing the 2 am hour I feel the need to get some rest, as tomorrow I have made plans with my friend to go into Santa Fe.  Got to be alert for the drive!

God has really been opening my eyes to some things. Most of it isn't new, but the amazing part is that it is coming at a time when I am so burdened down with physical limitations, family concerns, work issues, and personal relationships. I have surgery in a week, and my arm is broken with intense pain increasing daily.  It is at this time I choose to do something I have put aside for years like taking a course which will require time, focus, preparation, accountability, but it is energizing me in ways I cannot explain.  Same thing goes for my personal life, things I have been putting off doing, like sewing, crafting, designing jewelry.  Not only that but a recent required course for my work encouraged me to take more interest in volunteering.  Actually, I volunteer time for the church and even in assisting and supporting my clients in the off hours, on my own time.  But I am setting goals at a time when I am so stretched to the limit, but then I remember that is who I am, who Linda really is!  I am always thinking!  It can become exhausting at times, but it keeps me young at heart and full of energy.  Quite honestly, I need some energy at this time.  Today I slept all afternoon.  I think the pain has finally worn me out.  Each day as I am working I don't have time to focus on the pain.  By evening I crash, but the pain doesn't allow the full night of rest.  So my Independence Day brought me freedom from lack of sleep!  Thank you, Father, for the relief!

This morning as I wrote my blog "As I Journey On" I referenced my study of Proverbs, and as I was continuing on this afternoon I again recognized traits of good leadership, qualities of being a good friend, parent, child.  More focus on working with others in business or interpersonal relationships whether private or otherwise.  Character building truths.  Then I picked up my book "Necessary Endings" to continue on in similar fashion learning, gleaning like minded truths needed for making changes in dealing with people, relationships, areas that need some work.  Again, necessary endings, as Dr Cloud calls them.  God is really underscoring things He expects from those He calls His own in every walk of life!  And I am listening.  I want to change where change is needed, because I want to be a living testament of His goodness and walk in Christ's image!

Whereas I do not see myself as a leader, plus I do not possess the necessary credentials to serve in a leadership position, I am very much a leader in the field of my expertise, in areas of experience which often go beyond mere book knowledge.  I am fortunate to have worked in two companies who consider age a benefit, who value employees who are older and consider them still viable in the work field.  We as older employees feel that we have something to bring to the table, and we feel appreciated, so I say thank you from all of us who stand in these honored places as esteemed colleagues!  I never want to let you down.

I realize that there are people who look to me for answers, encouragement, and I do give it, but lately I am disappointed in my attitude which I have openly admitted. Dr. Cloud speaks of wise, foolish and evil persons.  Although I know I am not the latter I do feel that at times I can be rather foolish in ways when I try to rationalize my bad attitude.  I don't really feel I do that all that often, as I don't like ugly, and I am striving to keep it out of my life.  I have said over and over, and I truly mean it when I say I want to be part of the solution, never part of the problem when it comes to any area of my life, but especially when it involves my work relationships. And I want to change in order to be wise in God's eyes - foolishness is folly, and I want no part of that life!

Each year when we have to set goals, I find it difficult to focus on what goals I want to set.  To be honest the job is so challenging my goal is just to make it through the day.  But in truth I love setting goals, when I understand what goals are attainable and appropriate for the area in which I am engaged.  I often need help when it comes to pointing me in the right direction, but in recent days in my quiet times I am even getting some insight into things I want to do with respect to the job I do for others and in service to others.  Then, as mentioned above, I have set some pretty high goals for myself in the midst of my limitations.  So it will be an interesting time as I chronicle my ups and downs and in betweens as I struggle on in meeting these expectations I  have set for myself personally, as well as the ones set by my employer.

I mentioned volunteering above, and the fact that I used to be a hard and fast volunteer.  You name it, and I've probably done it! In fact I helped to spear head the literacy program in a town I previously lived in while working in two areas associated with helping transient people find assistance.  Sometimes I think I should have been a therapist or a school counselor!  I still like to send cards and letters to encourage the sick, grieving, struggling people who need love, support and encouragement, plus recognize birthdays, anniversaries, and just along so days!  I love "Really Woolly" and "Maxine" cards, but sometimes Maxine is a bit too caustic for even me!  I enjoy visiting people, but since I do that nearly on a daily basis in my job, I seldom find the time to visit off the clock, and it bothers me, as people need this type of interaction.  We all need each other, as life is busy and hard.  So I want to make the effort to take the time to give more of myself.  This will require God's strength, as I admit I lack the enthusiasm after a hard, long day on the job.  I'm sure you understand the duplicity of this desire.  But we are called to "Do Something," not just talk about it.  

When my previous company was closing in this area, and I was applying for my current position, we were encouraged to consider our strengths and weaknesses as we were readying ourselves to be interviewed. Now I am not a person who looks at strengths in myself, as I tend only to see my weaknesses.  So I decided to ask my son, who can be quite straight forward, even cynical, a trait, I am told by my other son, he learned from me. Although in my defense, Chandler from the sitcom "Friends" has a better reputation than I in that regard, as come backs are not my forte!  I am more of a "Ya think?" person.  Nonetheless the comment made by my son in jest was meant to be humorous, not hurtful, and it was taken as such!

So my older son sends me this email that reads, "Okay, so you want me to tell you your strengths and weaknesses as I perceive them?  Ha ha...are you sure you want to do this?"  After a bit more jesting he continues, "Anyway...I'm only half awake right now so I doubt I'm giving this my full effort. Plus like most things I'll lose interest after a few minutes and go off to do something else."  After that statement I am baffled, amused, yet dumbfounded as he begins, after a few more side jokes and punches, to describe my weaknesses.  Now, I had been bracing myself for what may come next, as my son has been quite disgruntled over some issues so I was taking a huge risk in asking him for his opinion.  I had asked him in the first place, because I felt he'd be truthful, even if it hurt, as I want anyone I ask to tell me the truth, not a sugar-coated, what you think I want to hear response.  I want truth!  I want ugliness exposed like a flashlight bringing my imperfections to bare type honesty.  Come on, if we want to live openly for Christ how can we want it any other way?  It's just that children, especially adult children, can sometimes be a bit too direct at times.  But then I asked for it, right?  But he wasn't. Even when he outlined a page of weaknesses, he identified himself in the similarities, and he otherwise called them strengths.  The same came later with his page of strengths!  My immediate response as I flipped three typewritten pages was, "Wow, I didn't know he thought about me so much!"

I'm not going to quote everything he told me, but I do want to share some points he made, some which provoke thought and wonder.  So, as my son puts it..."Without further ado", but wait! Perhaps this is best left for another day.  Let you think a bit about it.  So, until then, I'll say "to be continued in the following edition....!"

As I Journey On

Much is required from those to whom much is

given, for their responsibility is greater.

Luke 12:48

The context in which this verse is taken is of most importance, because Jesus is speaking not only to His disciples, but to all of us, as He explains to Peter when he asks:  "Peter asked, 'Lord, are you talking just to us or to everyone?' And the Lord replied, 'I'm talking to any faithful, sensible man whose master gives him the responsibility of feeding the other servants.'  This portion of scripture comes from Chapter 12 of Luke when Jesus is speaking to His disciples of His return using the parable of the wedding feast. In verse 35 He begins, "Be prepared - all dressed and ready -- for your Lord's return from the wedding feast. Then you will be ready to open the door and let him in the moment he arrives and knocks. There will be great joy for those who are ready and waiting for his return. He himself will seat them and put on a waiter's uniform and serve them as they sit and eat! He may come at nine o'clock at night - or even at midnight. but whenever he comes there will be joy for his servants who are ready!" (35-38)

My greatest preoccupation while I await the return of Christ is to present myself to others as a true servant of the Lord.  Guarding my heart, my speech, my actions are paramount to the lifestyle in which I desire to live my life; but often, I fail.  As you know from my writing, in which I try to present myself as transparently as possible without bringing discouragement to the reader or regret to myself, I desire to live a life well lived, intentional, with one purpose in mind - to bring God glory.  God is so good to me, as the gentle urgings of the Holy Spirit who lives within me always brings my heart back into focus.  Which is the main reason for my finally hitting the "submit" button to begin my course "In Christ's Image." 

People have always looked to me for advice, although I do not see myself as a leader.  There will always be those who need encouragement, support, someone to walk beside, to teach, to guide, and I imagine if I have a role in life, it would be more of a trainer, a teacher.  Not a pompous, intellectual, philosophical sort, but one whose perspective flows from a life of twists and turns, sideways, backwards, up and downs. One who can honestly say, learn from my mistakes, pay heed and grow.

I've said it before, my live has been amazing, as it continues to be.  My education in the world's view may appear minimal, insignificant, but my life has been so incredibly inspiring and wrought with knowledge and wisdom that only comes from sitting at the feet of the Greatest Teacher of all time, Jesus, who just happens to be my Best Friend.  He's been my Friend all my life, and although I did not always follow His lead, we have talked since I was eight years old, when I could understand the voice I was hearing was not my own.

I am a visual sort of person, and I can see myself, seated on the floor on Christmas Day 1959, singing, eyes to Heaven, seated on the floor, swaying back and forth. I wore pigtails then, and my hair was disheveled, loose strands flying as I moved.  In my hands I held my Lassie stuffed dog, and at my feet was an open white Bible, a gift from my father, treasured, though tattered and well-used, to this day. I carry pictures inside my head that sustain me in times when I am feeling less than worthy of belonging to such a great God.  But I am His, and He is mine!  I want to honor His Great Name; I want to make my Father proud by being the best teacher and encourager I can be.  

I recently told a few friends that I don't like the person I have been lately, disgruntled, upset, as this simply is not the person I feel I am, the one others have always seen.  When others see me like this who truly know my nature, they become concerned, because it appears as if I am losing myself in the chaos, perhaps even the fear of losing my mind, or worse to them, calling it quits, giving up!  I have even said the words, "It isn't fun anymore."  And these words do not merely pertain to a job, but to life in general.  I have lost who Linda is, who I aspire to be, the person others look to for clarity and peace of mind.  And God is so faithful to send Holy Spirit along to remind me gently of who I am called to be at this time, and the fruit I want to produce in my life and serve to others who are desperate for sustenance the world cannot give.

So He brings me back to the place we have visited countless times, known to all as the Beatitudes found in Matthew, Chapter 5, beginning in verse 3, "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."  These passages have been my friends for life, and as I read through the Bible daily visiting old friends who've stayed closely on my heart, within my soul and mind over the years, visited in context yearly, I once more see, and I pray, apply. This is the person I desire to be, full of understanding, ready to listen, learn, apply, re-apply if necessary, but the key is consistently heeding the wisdom that comes from God, from others He places in my life as I journey through.

Proverbs speaks of the beginning of wisdom as the fear and reverence of the Lord.  It continues on with steps along the path of life defining truths that bring either life or death to the reader.  Lessons at any age we cling to if we want to succeed, if we truly aspire to inherit the kingdom of God.

I want to be wise, not in my own eyes, but in the eyes of God, the Giver of Wisdom.  It is my heartfelt prayer that as I begin my training, In Christ's Image, that my focus will be fixed on Him and Him alone.  In so doing my life will be one of generosity, compassion, patience and humility. Proverbs 12:15, "...a wise man listens to others."  Verse 23, "A wise man doesn't display his knowledge...."  Verse 26, The good man asks advice from friends...."  Proverbs 13:14, "The advice of a wise man refreshes like water from a mountain spring. Those accepting it become aware of the pitfalls on ahead." 

I want to be the person who listens, accepts, and applies change when I am wrong. I want the words I speak to be wise, strong, trustworthy and true. I want to lead by example having learned from the greatest leader of all time.  I aspire to be like Jesus, so others will know Him and love Him as I do, as we journey on in this life together, and on to eternity.

Pray for me as I sit once more at the feet of Jesus, learning from His servant, gaining new insight which brings welcomed change to my life and blessings to others. Thank you for being my friend, for always praying for and wishing the best for me and my family.  You are loved and you are treasured more than my simple words can ever express.  May you be blessed today, every day!