Day 8 Chatting with Abba

 

1/8/2025

My son goes to bed with the chickens, so it gets pretty quiet around here in the early evenings. It's been a difficult adjustment for me having someone living with me after so many years of being alone, but I enjoy his company, plus we laugh a lot, usually at my expense. It's okay because I have a way of sharing yarns that bring laughter. That's a good thing, I think. I imagine life with a puppeteer can be different, especially when I animate everything. I gave him a small Grinch plush toy for his birthday last year. At first it sat on the shelf in his "office" in the basement dungeon. One day little Grinchie took on life with a very naughty disposition. He is often disagreeable, and the harshness of his loud remarks can be heard across the yard. So far the police have not driven up to check for elder abuse. Sometimes I think my creativity warped my children. 

This ole house is drafty and cold. Last night the furnace was thumping like an ole diesel engine and smelling like oil, so we turned it off while we slept. It was pretty cold in the morning, but I am always grateful for fleece sheets and warm quilts heaped on me. I am a bit cold natured, and I usually wear a hat pulled over my head. Thankfully the furnace has been working nicely today. Perhaps it just needed a little rest. After all, it has seen many, many years just like the owner. The important thing is I have a home, a place to lay my head. I remember many times asking Abba for a home with a small patch of grass. I'd immediately sense His response from the Bible, "The Son of Man has no place to lay His head." So I'd agree to wait a bit longer. I'm not unhappy about buying my parents' home, but it has presented some challenges, and I have way more than a little patch of grass. I'm just not used to owning a home. I never thought it was important, even though I was scoffed at for not having a home once. I guess my priorities have always been different, at least until I felt I needed a place as a sanctuary for myself and others. I've always wanted a place for misfit toys, as I lovingly refer to people and animals who feel out of place or in need of support, such as myself. I am the head ragamuffin in this case. I like that role, plus it is nice to be able to help a person get back on their feet and find purpose. God knew what He was doing when he led me into case management. Who knows, maybe He still has use for me.

I find it interesting that my daily Bible reading was the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah. When I heard that Los Angeles County had erupted in flames from wild fires with 100 mph winds, I wondered, then I prayed. So many disasters coming faster and faster. The Santa Ana winds don't usually cause such a frenzy, but once a fire starts any amount of wind sends them out of control. I pray for the people, their safety, their losses. Ranches were evacuating their horses, and I imagine many animals were trapped. I remember the close calls I've had with wild fires, wondering if I should evacuate or wait it out. In the summer of 2022 New Mexico had very bad wild fires in areas close to where I lived and where my daughter still lives. It came dangerously close to her, and I fear she continues to suffer effects of the exposure as do many. The water is still not fit to drink after all this time, and FEMA has been lax in providing assistance. The devastation was great.

Also, earlier today I learned of two more bodies of hostages from October 7, 2023 being found by the IDF in Gaza. My heart cries, but Abba holds me close. How I pray for the families, and I cry for the hostages. I ask for miracles as only He can do. I've been posting the names and faces of the hostages since the beginning, and I feel closely connected to each of them. Sometimes I hold the photos close, a small hug, and I ask Abba to let them know someone hears and prays. I cannot imagine. There are no words.

There's still snow in my yard, and there is talk of another snowfall this weekend, three short days. That's a happier note to end on.

None of these things I've shared probably don't make sense or seem like an ole lady babbling on. And I suppose you're right. Perhaps they have little meaning to anyone except me, but I'm chatting with Abba, about everything as I always do. He seems to enjoy my company and thoughts, He listens and He cares. So, I guess I'll keep on chatting. It's my life til the end of days.

 

 "As white snowflakes fall quietly and thickly on a winter day, 

answers to prayer will settle down upon you at every step you take, 

even to your dying day. The story of your life will be the story of prayer 

and answers to prayer." 

O Hallesby

Goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. Psalm 23:6

 

 

Day 7 The Spirit of Prayer

1/7/2025 

"The Spirit of Prayer makes us so intimate with God that we scarcely

 pass through an experience before we speak to Him about it, 

in supplication, in sighing, in pouring out our woes before Him, 

in fervent requests, or in thanksgiving and adoration."

O. Hallesby

"I am my beloved's, and He is mine."

Song of Solomon 7:10

Tuesday is a busy day for me. It seems as if I am always playing "catch up" from my Sabbath rests on the weekend, as I observe both Saturday and Sunday. Over the months and even years, I have either been ramping up or scaling down to ramp up in another direction in my prayer circles which can become overwhelming, as the needs grow daily. Holy Spirit has been teaching me much over the years, as there are many things I have yet to discover in this journey with my Rabbi, Jesus Christ the Messiah. Being with Him is like breathing, and none of us can live without taking a breath. He is, after all, not only the air we breathe (Holy Spirit), the bread of life and water that quenches our thirst (Jesus Christ), and our Eternal Father (goes without saying). Oh, how I love the Names of God, as they represent the character of God, that has been demonstrated in Christ Jesus our Lord. I must have daily encounters in His presence, otherwise, I would cease to exist. He's everything to me.

Today, our CEO of the International Christian Embassy Jerusalem, Jurgen Buehler, returned for a short visit to the prayer call. He has been in rehab following serious surgeries and chronic pain since April/May 2023. I cannot express the joy we felt being able to look on his smiling face, tears of joy trickling down his cheeks, as he and his dear wife, Vesna, an angel in disguise, joined our call and shared their adventure and the continuing challenges they face. 

So much has happened since that terrible day in October 2023, and it continues to escalate daily as we wait. All of life is about waiting, and at this time in history we see so many people suffering from conditions, many terminal, who otherwise enjoyed excellent health. One has to question why. As a biologist I understand it better, but because it is a controversial subject, I will avoid the subject except to say that it has touched my family in an extreme way.

In my devotional reading for the day, "In the Right Place," I am reminded that I am never alone, and I am loved. Isaiah 43 is one of my favorite passages, verse 1: "I have called you by name; you are Mine." More than once He has said that I belong to Him, as if He hears my thoughts, which He does, and before I can finish the words, "I don't know where I belong," He whispers, almost audibly, "You belong to Me." 

In those times of doubting, feeling out of place, wondering whether I heard Him correctly, I can be reassured that He is orchestrating every step of our lives. "He is writing your life story with you," my devotional says, and it is backed up in scripture in Psalm 139. Once a friend of mine, who was so distraught about her losses, asked me, "Where is God?!" I smiled, understanding and feeling empathy for what she was going through, then I reassured her that He is always with us. Jesus said that we would endure many hardships prior to His return (John 16:33), but He has overcome the world.

If we seek Him, we will find Him.

Day 6 Memories

1/6/2025   

Mild precipitation continues this morning, slight snow mixed with rain, icy roads ominous. Our home is situated on a corner lot making it easy for cars careening carelessly down the road and then attempting to make a turn to end up in my yard. I remember a time I slid on black ice in a snowstorm in Raton Pass in New Mexico, a dangerous drag and scene of many accidents. Fortunately no cars were near, and my sharp reflexes kept me from ending up over the railing. Still, I will never forget the sensation of my car slipping on that patch of ice. I've learned to respect snow and ice on mountain roads as I traveled several days in the week as a case manager. Since I worked remotely from my home office, I made it a practice to limit visits in inclement weather. No one wanted visitors on messy days, especially the caregivers who already did so much for my clients. Better to stay home, safely tucked away dry and warm.

I miss the smell of pinon and cedar burning in the fireplaces or stoves. I've always had a fondness for heating my home with wood, so snug and warm, cozy and inviting. I have childhood memories of visits to my daddy's uncle Tom's cabin in the backwoods of Virginia. Or to my papa's sister's home near Goshen. Aunt Gracie cooked and heated by wood. Her biscuits and hoe-cakes cooked in the wood stove were so special. Her jam cakes were divine. How I miss those early childhood days of pleasant, laughter-filled conversation, good food, and treks through the woods. Such magical moments I hold within my heart. I entertain my son with my childhood thoughts, of dreams, now shadows of the past. But dreams never die, and even if they fade, when the time is right, they can be rekindled. 

The promises of God are so very real to me, and I know that if I've messed up one, He will provide me with an alternate route. He says, "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways," says the LORD. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

I can place my trust in that, in Him. He's already brought surprising things into my life, none I deserved. That's a problem with so many people, thinking we deserve anything or that we are good. A quick reference to the pages of the Bible will clear those notions up rather promptly. But, God does have His hand on those who love Him, who are called to His purpose, who desire to follow Him, to become friends with God. His ways are so much better, safer, enriching with eternal benefits. When we are young it is much easier to believe. Maybe this is why He tells His disciples to suffer the little children to come to Him, not to send them away. I had an encounter with the Lord as a very young child, looking into His face, and He kept His hand on me even in my folly. Despite all, I have never lost the wonder of a child. That's why snow is such a wondrous thing. I can laugh, play, sing, and frolic in the snow. And when the time comes for me to come back inside, put on my grown up clothes, I can happily go about the day.

 

 

Day 5 Snow!

1/5/2025

It's snowing! The ground is covered, so it is officially a genuine snowfall. I feel as giddy as a child when they're told school is canceled, and it's a snow day! The weather man promises it will continue for a few days. Oh, can it be?!

Memories of childhood well up within me. I loved winter so much when I was growing up, and especially snowy winters in the Sangre de Cristo Mountains. It brings back thoughts of steaming cups of hot chocolate and snow cream! What a delight and special treat back then, as delicious as home churned ice cream. Snow ball fights, snow angels, and sleighing. Curling up to read my favorite poems by Robert Frost. 

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

By Robert Frost

 

"Whose woods these are I think I know.   

His house is in the village though;   

He will not see me stopping here   

To watch his woods fill up with snow.   

My little horse must think it queer   

To stop without a farmhouse near   

Between the woods and frozen lake   

The darkest evening of the year.   

He gives his harness bells a shake   

To ask if there is some mistake.   

The only other sound’s the sweep   

Of easy wind and downy flake.   

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,   

But I have promises to keep,   

And miles to go before I sleep,   

And miles to go before I sleep."

 

 

"Jingle Bells" is not a song exclusive only for Christmastime, or the childhood favorite, "Over the River and Through the Woods." Dancing and spinning, whirling and rolling down the hill. But, it doesn't have to be solely for children, does it? Can't ole ladies like me have fun, enjoying the bliss of nature's white coronation.

Sleep comes to my tired body earlier tonight, tuckered out with all the joyful interventions of my day. I offer up my prayers of thanksgiving, pull back the white fleecy sheets and settle in. I click on the movie, "Jack Frost" with Michael Keaton, as I drift sweetly away with snowballs and sleigh bells in my head.

 

 

 

Day 4 Puzzles

1/4/2025

Puzzles drive me crazy! Especially ones with 1,000 pieces or more with three matching pieces for one spot, discovering none of them are the correct match! On Christmas Eve my son and I decided to ply our skill working on a Star Wars puzzle of R2D2 and 3CPO with 1,000 pieces. Although the outline has been shaped and some areas are coming together slowly, it has been a maddening experience. More than once my son has threatened to put it back in the box saying it is impossible and cannot be done! After much deliberation, I decided quitting was not an option. We could not allow a puzzle to get the better of us. No, the going may be slow, but we can figure it out. Although struggling to put it together has been a battle for the mind, not relaxing in any stretch of our imagination, still there must be a lesson to be learned from this self-inflicted torment, even if we can't see it.

In similar fashion our lives are like puzzle pieces, or a grand tapestry woven of many colors, fashioned skillfully into a masterpiece design. As we try to find our niche in the larger puzzle of life, we discover that we don't always "fit." Although my life has been a difficult one to piece together with all the ambiguous attempts to belong, to find my proper place, I have learned to rest confidently on the promises of God. 

Recently I began a study of the book of Hebrews, using Andrew Murray's book, The Holiest of All. This book has sat abandoned and unread on my bookshelf for many seasons, but God has been pressing me to pull it off the shelf and study it. Of course, any of Murray's books can be a perplexing to read and understand, plus this one is a very long read. It took me several nudges from God to get me going, as it was such an intimidating endeavor, or so I thought, but I'm finding that, like any project, it has to be done in the right time. Finally, I did as instructed, and the study has expanded my knowledge and opened my eyes to understanding in new ways. I am reading slowly, devouring every word. It is so rich in spiritual truth, and I can't imagine why I put it off for so long. While it is never my intention to ignore God's subtle nudges, I fail by busying myself with things that really can wait, or I get distracted with another task. But, I am finding that Abba is faithful to remind me at unlikely times, in the middle of prayer calls, or when I'm engaged in the daunting task of deleting 100 or more unsubscribed emails. I am grateful that He does not become weary with me.

There's so much I can say about this study of Hebrews, so I will save that for another time, or so I am hoping. We really never know when a day could be our last, so we have to savor the time. Maybe God is calling you to become involved in Bible study or join a church group. I am still hosting a weekly group online, and I find that the time of fellowship has been so special. It is a time of study and of fellowship, each lady at a different place in her spiritual walk. Each of us is a small piece of God's life puzzle, as He orchestrates the plan He has for us. Never despise the day of small beginnings.

Day 3 Mercy and Truth

 1/3/2025

My mind is wandering all over the place. It's already way past midnight, and I can't even think about sleep until I clear my head. Over the last year I have mentioned more than once that my eyes cannot unsee the horror of things too ghastly to conceive. Each night I post three or four photos of hostages being held by Hamas since October 7th of 2023, most we are told are deceased. The names and faces have become forever etched in my mind. Each time the hostage release deals seem hopeful, Hamas leaders change their minds. The psychological mind games begin by tormenting and threatening the family members using the hostages' cell phones, many with photos of carnage and last words. How can anyone be so cruel, and yet, these people, the ones who committed this unimaginable slaughter, were youngsters themselves who had been drugged to enhance the effect, as if the hatred instilled in them were not enough. Imagine growing up in homes where the first words you hear, then are taught daily, are words of violence and extreme hatred of people you have never met. My heart breaks...for all of it, for every one, for those who will be born to live and be daily indoctrinated in this demonic evil, made to watch horrific acts of torture. But as awful as this is, this happens in other countries all the time, and no one mentions it. 

From a very young age I wanted to serve as a missionary, and I read every missionary book in the church library as well as those in the elementary school library. On weekends my days were consumed with mental travels to the mission field. Often only the pleasant side of it is shared, not the heroic surrender of lives and, at times, leaving their children behind. I have been connected with missions ministries since my twenties. It began with Open Doors started by Brother Andrew, and since has expanded to others, Voice of the Martyrs, International Christian Concern, and many other ministries. When my younger son was searching for his spiritual roots, he became involved with a woman who embraced Islam. I remember taking him to my bulletin board showing him the faces of men imprisoned for their belief in Jesus. This broke my heart, but he didn't realize at the time the truth about this seemingly innocent group. The serpent has not lost his cunning in deceiving the weak and innocent. We must protect the innocence of our children and educate them honestly when they ask questions, when they are confused, and their is much to be concerned and confused about in this present age.

So many things are amiss today, things I would never expect to happen in my lifetime, and yet there is nothing new under the sun, as King Solomon once said. Evil has existed since the beginning, and it didn't seem to get any better after the flood in Noah's day. Here in America things have been beyond chaotic. Our nation, established on moral principles, seeks to remove God in every sphere of influence. If government had its way every church would be shut down, every Bible burned, and every person with a belief in God would be desensitized. Thankfully, God has heard the prayers of intercessors on their faces daily, repenting for the sins of our nation, our world, our churches' lack of action, beginning with personal sins. God, in His infinite grace, has chosen to extend His mercy, but, we, as believers, have much to do, as He calls us to persevere. The window of grace will be brief.

According to scripture, judgment begins in the house of the Lord, and the church's lack of action has hindered things. Leaders mistake government for politics, not interchangeable but separate as one is Biblical, the other carnal. It is so crucial that pastors and leaders understand the truth of the gospel message and instruct and guide their sheep regarding the Biblical role of the church. Praying and standing with Israel is the link to everything. 

My prayer is that eyes will be opened as we seek God's guidance, speaking to us clearly through His Word. May this be our focus for this new year, one filled with hope for our nation and an end to the antisemitism and barbarism in our countries.

Day 2 Friend of God

 

1/2/2025

The hour is late and another day has quickly turned the page. It seems no matter how early or late I go to bed I feel as if I left something undone. The early mornings are sweet hours spent listening, often crying for what I cannot visually see but sense in the spirit. 

A friend called me, and she was noticeably disturbed by something other than the mounting pressures in her life. If she watches the secular news she knows most of it is not based on fact, rather it is biased and self-serving. Still, she bemoans the day and hopes for the imminent return of Christ. This has become so prevalent in the lives of those who are tired of the struggles of the day, fearing what may come to pass, or just too tired to care. My friend has simply grown weary in doing the mundane, not being able to enjoy retirement, as many experience quite easily. Her idea of retirement is a day of rest without having to do anything unless she wants to, a day without someone needing assistance, without worrying about the slow demise of one she loves. Her struggles are real and daily faced. She admits that there are days she'd rather not get out of bed, but she knows that she has to. Just a few more minutes in a warm and cozy bed, she murmurs to herself, eventually rising to the task. I imagine many have experienced such feelings, but who have resisted the urging of the voices in the head saying "one day won't matter."  It is the way of things, sadly.

I must admit to sharing her feelings from time to time. It would be nice to snuggle into the warm, fleece sheets and sleep a little while longer. But, I don't think there has ever been a time where I surrendered to this reckless habit, even when I'm not feeling particularly fit. When I was working remotely from home I always had to get up, shower, get dressed, just in case someone might call, and I would need to go. I wouldn't allow myself to stay in my pajamas on the days I stayed in my office. No, I had to get up, take a shower, brush my teeth, and dress for the day. I have an older friend who manages to stay in his pajamas and robe the majority of the day, all the same inviting visitors to come on in and sit awhile. He is available to listen, pray, help as needed. He even walks a block to his mailbox to retrieve the mail without inhibition. Completely comfortable in who he is. I admire his courage and his resolve. Peter is a friend of God who is always willing to listen and pray when a friend is in need. He's always available, instant in season and out, as the word says. 

Abraham and Moses were both considered "friends of God." Sunday I recently a message about what it means to be a friend of God, and I have been chewing on the words. A story was told about a great man of God who had been hospitalized, yet not even his pastor had come by to visit and pray in agreement with him for healing. He asked his daughter, "Where are the friends of God," I want to get out of this bed and go  home!" By understanding how these words are used contextually in the Bible she knew that she needed to call someone whom her dad understood to be a man of prayer, someone who believed what the word says, so they could be in agreement, unwavering in faith. Someone who believed he could speak to a mountain, in faith, and it would be removed, because Jesus said it. His daughter did not have to labor long as she knew such a one. From across the oceans all the way in the continent of Africa he came, without hesitation, to minister to his friend. And, as it happened, the man of God was healed, and he walked out of the hospital, healed, to the unbelief and wonderment of his physician. A miracle. They are indeed available for the one who believes without wavering in their faith. God cannot but help when He hears the prayers of His saints calling out to Him. I believe that in the days to come, miracles will become more real to those who believe. It's only a matter of time when God releases His power as noted in Joel 2. I don't know about anyone else, but I am waiting and watching expectantly for that great and terrible day of the LORD. Miracles do happen today, faith does heal the sick. In God's time and His way. I am a walking testimony to His favor and mercy. I desire to be available to others when they call, my ears attentive to God's call. I don't want to miss it by being "too busy" to go, but to be attentive to His call.

Where are the friends of God?

   

Day 1 All to Jesus

  

1/1/2025

Another year has swept by, leaving unresolved projects at bay, while wondering what this new year may bring. It's certainly has been an unfolding adventure, but with very sad and disturbing events. It has also been a year of miracles, although many have not yet had the understanding to see it as such.

October marked the third anniversary of my return to Virginia after spending so many years tucked away in the mountains of Northern New Mexico where God began an amazing journey and an unexpected turnarounds in my life. Now as I continue on, new windows of opportunity have been opened to me, and although I do not understand where He is leading me, each day I awaken grateful for His trust, putting one step in front of the other, expectantly waiting to see what the day will bring.

This year will mark my quarter of a century of life, and I marvel at how quickly the years have passed. I see so many people younger than I who feel they have become old and useless. I admit that when I gaze into the mirror each day I am greeted by someone who still looks a little like me, but the image pales in comparison to photos in my high school yearbook! Still, although the chronological time clock is ticking at a much faster rate of speed than I might hope, I am still myself, and I will not jump on the senior band wagon or become a couch potato or bemoan the advancing of age and all it brings. There's more to God's plan for my life, and I have every intention of finishing the race set before me.

God has shined His favor brightly on the church, who finally understood the warnings and who stood for the return of righteousness to our nation. We have been given a brief window of opportunity to fulfill the mandates of our LORD and Savior and turn our nation back to God. This opportunity has been extended to His chosen leaders in government and in the church. May we heed the warning.

Each year I begin each year not by making a resolution, but rather, a re-dedication of my life in service to Abba and to others. My overall desire is to grow closer to Him and bring honor and glory to His Name. He alone is worthy. So, my year will be one of "surrender" to anything or anyone who takes His place or His time in my life. Wasted time spent, not on wrong pursuits, but ones that take up precious time sitting at His feet, listening to His words, and praying for others. 

I hope this year will be one of new beginnings for us all.