Day 114 Something Good

 

4/24/2026

 "...whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. 

For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away."

 James 4:14

 

For years I have kept a separate daily journal listing what I am thankful for each day, including calls I make and calls received from friends and family members who suddenly remembered that I live across the country or who'd stumbled over an old letter I'd written them that had been misplaced. It's always a thrill for me when someone remembers me, even as just a passing thought. I got an unexpected call from a friend saying she'd been to the Chile Cook Off in New Mexico, a regular annual benefit for the soup kitchen, and missed me. Three of us got together regularly for this event, judging the chili, or to eat or attend special events. I miss my friends and the things we used to do. 

I began keeping the daily list at the end of 2016. That's the year that the world turned upside down for me, but then I've had many such things happen throughout my life like that, but I'm still smiling. I wanted to put things down daily that I was grateful for, as a way to say "Thank You, Abba." I don't always show gratitude, but I want to do better. Plus I wanted to write down positive things that happened, because the world was getting so crazy. I needed to see something good. The top of each page looks like this:

 "Show me Something Good"

 "Thank You, Abba, for giving me another breath today! How will I use it?" 

 "Show me a sign for good that those who hate me may see it and be ashamed, 

because You, LORD, have helped me and comforted me."

Psalm 86:17 

I remember on Good Friday that year that, in my haste to get ready for work, I tripped and in an effort to keep from retrieving one more blow to my head, I reached out my arm to keep my head from hitting the corner of the door frame. That's when I heard a crack. All I remember is that it was extremely painful, so I laid down in the floor, and pulled my arm over my head to pop the shoulder back into place, thus relieving a little of the discomfort. I didn't see any bones sticking out or any bleeding out. There was a rather large patch of blood pooling under the skin, but I figured it was just going to bruise, so I finished getting dressed, with great difficulty, and I made my way across the house to my office. Trying to type and maintain my focus was difficult with all the pain, but I managed. 

Eventually I had to go to the doctor, because I had a four - to - six inch long by three inch wide area of under the skin bleeding that was not improving. Since doctors aren't allowed to do MRI's without a real good reason, my diagnosis went unnoticed until I had been tortured by a physical therapist who finally realized after several weeks... "You're not getting any better, are you?"As it turned out I had chipped off some shoulder bone, and I had mangled some ligaments and stuff in the arm. The surgeon felt that I would eventually need surgery, but I told him that God would fix me. He didn't believe me, but eventually after having the care of a specialized physical therapist, I improved, and I never needed surgery. 

This was also the year that one of my case management client's son tripped and fell slamming his head into mine, injuring my head, jaw, and neck. I didn't want a workman's comp case, but I managed to get one that wasn't settled until 2018, but the medical insurance remains open in case I need care. Since then I've had the noise in my head that I speak of often as bugs or woodsy night sounds, and I have pain that shoots through my temple into my eye. That's an additional pain to accompany the one from 1980 when I was attacked and hit with a 2x4 one night when someone came out from hiding behind my wood pile. That blow to the head was on the same side except on the top of my head, so the pain shoots down into the same eye. No one seems to be interested in that, plus my neurologist died from his own neurological issues and a broken heart from not being allowed to treat his patients. There are actually doctors who sincerely care about their patients, but insurance hinders their treatment. That's another topic to discuss at a later time. 

I have an aunt who is about ten years my senior. She recently celebrated her 86th birthday, and she said that she celebrated all week. I had shared with her about my 2007 Mercury Milan that I bought when I lost my 2017 Nissan Sentra in a recent accident, and she said she'd sold her car. It's hard for me to believe that she's already feeling that she's at an age where she no longer wants to drive, but then, I understand, especially since that man ran my son off the road without stopping to see if he was okay. At least she enjoyed her birthday. I used to celebrate my birthday for a week, shut down everything, toss the cell phone away, totally enjoying my time. Whenever I needed a break or just wanted to smell fresh mountain air, at a higher elevation than I lived, I'd make the trip through the pass to Taos and on to Sipapu Resort where I'd disappear for a few days. I miss those days, but I am grateful for the experience.

As my 76th birthday nears I have been thinking about things I need to do, just in case, and I also want to finish some things I've started. I don't know why, but as much as I love traveling, I don't have a desire to drive. Maybe my son's accident shook me up too much. He turns 50 on Monday, and he's already saying the same thing. He wants to go to New Mexico to see his kids, and I wish we could go together, but we have cats. If we drove we could take them along, but that may be a bit much for some family. But we'll figure it out. If for no other reason, since returning here to Virginia, I am seeing that life is shorter than we think, so it's important to tell the people you love that you love them, before one of us pass on. Relationships are so important, but many times, most times sadly, they are one-sided. I've discovered that. Everyone is busy, and life just isn't the same as it was when I was growing up, when the extended family was a tightly knit. How I miss those days. I guess I really haven't progressed as much as some of my cousins or friends, as I wouldn't even have a cell phone or computer if I didn't need one. But now everything is expected to be handled digitally. Sometimes I think progress is not really such a big deal. Physical contact is a more rewarding experience, even if people are still wearing masks. I don't get it, but I guess it's fear that keeps them from being free, breathing air. 

Tomorrow is another day, so maybe I'll reach out to someone, even if I only get a voice message. Gotta start some where!

Day 113 Time Well Spent

 

4/23/2026

 "Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend 

 a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit;' whereas you do not know what will 

  happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears 

                                                      for a little time and then vanishes away."                                             

 James 4:13-14

 

I've been thinking a lot about time and the brevity of it. The closer it gets to my birthday and another year, I wonder if I made the best use of the time given me thus far. In studying the life of Solomon and Rehoboam, his son, the commentary states that "Rehoboam followed the Lord only as long as it was politically expedient. Once his kingdom was solidly established, he had no further use for the law of the Lord - or the Lord of the law. But in the end, it was Rehoboam who was the loser for his foolish decision." The consequence of this decision was a divided kingdom with Jeroboam leading Israel and ten of the tribes, leaving Rehoboam with his tribe and Benjamin. The tribe of Judah did have a king on the throne of David as God covenanted with David, until Judah was exiled to Babylon. In this line of David there were mostly good kings as opposed to all evil kings who reigned in Israel, turning from God to the worship of idols. Although Rehoboam repented and cried out to the Lord, he was not completely destroyed, but he was an evil king who never decided to fully trust in God. His son, Abijah became the next king, and he too did evil in the eyes of the Lord. 

The commentary poses a little query:

"Think of your life as a shiny new penny. You can spend it any way you wish, but you can only spend it once. And you cannot spend half a penny - it's an 'all or nothing' transaction. Find a penny and hold it in your hand as you talk to God about your life...and how you will invest the remaining years of it in his service."

Our study group tonight looked at the scriptures found in Luke 12:1-48 and asked the question "What owns you?" We discussed how fear could quietly control our lives, taking different positions from earliest childhood fears to those we encounter in later years, that keep us stuck in cycles. I fully understand how to be dragged around and sucked down into a rabbit hole of guilt and shame for literal years, living in fear of never accomplishing my dreams, afraid to even have a dream. I felt as if I would never be good enough after all my failures. The Lord was blessing me, but I knew I wasn't worthy. Every time I tried to go forward, I'd be knocked down and trampled on for affect by trusted people in my life. I laugh about it now, because I've always been a person who persevered and kept body and soul together. Life has a way of preparing us for the next step and then the next. The pity would be never having taken those steps.

Pastor Jonathan pointed out that:

"Jesus redirects our focus away from fearing people and toward reverence for God. Not a fear that pushes us away, but one that rightly centers our lives on Him. When we understand His authority and His care, down to knowing every detail about us, it frees us from living for the approval of others and anchors us in what actually matters." 

The next consideration was hypocrisy that spreads when faith becomes performance - checking off boxes of things that we feel make us look good, like good little Christian examples, but it's all a show, a lie. There are no boxes to check that qualify us for the kingdom of God. There's only Jesus. His blood washes us clean. That's it!

Often we become consumed with having, and our focus is on accumulating wealth, possessions, recognition, and our priorities become all mixed up, and we can even lose our identity. We lose focus and turn our affections to worldly things, but Jesus says for us to "seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added to you" (Luke 12:31). Matthew 6:19-21 says, “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Then there's the subtle trap of thinking that we have so much time, but really we are not promised tomorrow, only today. We are to live without fear, trusting Him, with clarity and purpose, knowing that our deeds reflect what's truly in our hearts. Living for today, in God's way. There's a saying that is attributed to John Wesley, but I have also seen it as a quote from Mother Teresa. Both great examples of living the purpose driven life. "Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can."

May this be the focus and intent of our hearts. 

Day 112 Yom HaAtzma'ut

 

4/22/2026

 "Do not rejoice over me, my enemy;
When I fall, I will arise;
When I sit in darkness,
The Lord will be a light to me."

Micah 7:8

 

As the day drew to a close yesterday, the observance of Yom HaZikaron ended, and as the new day began, Israel began to celebrate Yom HaAtzma'ut, their Independence Day. A day of grief, mourning, and remembrance turned to a day of celebration over the birth of their nation. Today marks 78 years since Israel became a nation again. Even though yesterday was a time of mourning and remembering those who had fallen defending this great nation, today was a day of rejoicing and joy! According to a report: "This historic moment came after nearly 2,000 years of exile following the destruction of Jerusalem in 70 AD. The re-establishment of Israel fulfilled numerous biblical prophecies concerning the regathering of the Jewish people to their land (Isaiah 66:8; Ezekiel 36–37)."

Last night I watched a brief segment of the celebration, and I got to see the President of Argentina, Javier Milei, perform on stage with the musicians, singing in Hebrew with great enthusiasm and a little dancing. He was honored to light one of the torches for the ceremonies. He was also awarded Israel's highest civilian award, the Presidential Medal of Honor, by President Isaac Herzog recognizing his strong support, especially in return of the hostages. Milei also announced his plans to move the Argentina embassy to Jerusalem. There is a strong bond between the nations of Israel and Argentina, and it has been a joy watching the friendship grow and blossom! 

Today I attended an online event hosted by Israel365 in Jerusalem for an Independence Day celebration with reading the Hallel (Praise) and enjoying music and testimonies by Christians who support Israel. The Hallel is a group of Psalms 113 - 118 that are read at celebrations and appointed feasts and "serve as reminders of major milestones in Jewish heritage, including the Exodus, the giving of the Torah, and the hope for the Messianic Age. The intentional transition from mourning to celebration—within a single day—reflects a profound truth: the cost of redemption and the faithfulness of God to restore a people to their inheritance."

This is an exciting time to be standing with Israel as prophecy is being played out right before our eyes, and the eyes of the Orthodox Jews, because the scriptures are so clearly being seen, and the relationship between the Christians and the Jews is growing and encouraged. Since 10/7/2023, many have been returning to their faith in God, which is the Biblical heritage of the chosen people of God. As we stand in prayer with our friends, we pray that their spiritual eyes will be enlightened, and they will come to faith in Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord. The fields are indeed ripe for harvest. This is also a time when God is returning those exiled to other countries back to Jerusalem as according to the word spoken in Isaiah 43:1-7:

"But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel: 'Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you: and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I gave Egypt for your ransom, Ethiopia and Seba in your place. Since you were precious in My sight, you have been honored, and I have loved you; therefore I will give men for you, and people for your life. Fear not, for I am with you; I will bring your descendants from the east, and gather you from the west; I will say to the north, "Give them up!" And to the south, "Do not keep them back!" Bring My sons from afar and My daughters from the ends of the earth - Everyone who is called by My name, whom I have created for My glory; I have formed him, yes I have made him.'"

This is the promise of the Lord. As we stand together, we pray for leaders of our nations, Benjamin Netanyahu and President Donald J Trump to continue to work in unity and harmony especially during this time with war between Israel and Iran. But make no mistake, as this war has been ongoing, and the goal of the jihadist Iranian government has not only called for the extermination of the Jewish people, but also America. The leaders and imams have been very vocal in their plans and threats against our nations, and it appears now that the leaders of Iran have been killed, that the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corp (IRGC) leaders still plan to carry out the threats. Back in 1948 when Iran was recognized by Ben Gurion as a State, they immediately came under attack from the Muslims, but they were able to maintain their independence at a great cost. Israel has continued to face such challenges with wars over the 78 years of being a nation, called back by God who gave the land to Israel in covenant with Abraham. I am so grateful to be part of that covenant as a believer in Christ, grafted in as a supporter of the chosen people. I will continue to stand on the wall with my fellow intercessors according to Isaiah 62:6-7: "I have set watchmen on your walls, O Jerusalem; they shall never hold their peace day or night. You who make mention of the LORD, do not keep silent, and give Him no rest till He establishes and till He makes Jerusalem a praise in the earth."

Am Israel Chai! 

Day 111 Yom HaZikaron

 

4/21/2026

 "I have set watchmen on your walls, O Jerusalem; they shall never hold their peace day or night. 

You who make mention of the Lord, do not keep silent, and give Him no rest till 

 He establishes and till He makes Jerusalem a praise in the earth."

Isaiah 62:6-7 

 

This has been another emotional day for me as Israel observes their Memorial Day honoring the IDF soldiers who have given their lives for their country and for victims of terrorism. It is a time they remember those who gave their lives when Israel was attacked on 10/7/2023. Yesterday I mentioned Rachel Goldberg-Polin who spoke out boldly on behalf of her son, Hersh, who was badly injured and taken into captivity by Hamas. She was the most vocal, and the most well-known by everyone across the nation and the world for the valiant efforts she made speaking on behalf of the hostages and their families. 

Many have lost their lives in service to their country, but this has been a way of life for Israel. When an Israeli reaches their 18th birthday they are enlisted into service with the Israel Defense Force (IDF) - sons and daughters. There are even those who are not Israeli born citizens who volunteer to join the army, including Arabs living in Israel and Gentiles from other nations who call Israel home. The love the people of Israel have for their country is inspiring. They are also a very resilient people who continue to go on in spite of every evil they have had to face that comes against them or threatens their right to exist as a nation. I am proud to be a friend of Israel and continue to stand on the wall as an intercessor.

The scripture says, "And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it." (1 Corinthians 12:26) This is definitely how we feel about Israel and about the people. There is no one living and serving in Israel who has not been personally touched by the extreme loss of precious lives. Every life is a blessing, a blessed memory. ZAKA is the volunteer group that handles investigations and identification of victims, and they are also responsible for the care of the deceased. They are careful to remove remains and blood from the trauma sites, preserving the dignity of the deceased. This is another example of how every Israeli cares for the welfare of each other. They share each others' sorrows and grieve, but they also rejoice with others even in the midst of personal suffering and loss.

For Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu this is a day he remembers his older brother, Yonatan Netanyahu, who was killed in action on July 4, 1976 during the Battle of Entebbe (Operation Entebbe) in Uganda. He was the commander of the Sayeret Matkal unit, that led the operation that rescued 102 hostages from a hijacked Air France plane being held by German and Palestinian militants at the Entebbe Airport. He was the only Israeli who lost his life. He was 30 years old, and he is a hero not only to Israel but to Uganda. He paid the ultimate sacrifice laying down his life for others. Prime Minister Netanyahu returns to the site to pay honor to his brother annually on July 4th.

Observance of Memorial Day began last evening as the sun went down. One day ends and another begins. Tonight when the sun goes down, and the new day begins, Israel will be celebrating their Independence Day going from grief to joy in one smooth move. A day of grief followed quickly by a day of celebration. This is life in Israel. 

Day 110 Much to Consider

 

4/20/2026

 "And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men, 

  knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance; 

for you serve the Lord Christ"

 Colossians 3:23-24

 

Although last night was another up and down encounter, with back pain and restless legs to boot, I still woke up early and surprisingly refreshed in spite of little real sleep. I had a doctor's appointment scheduled for today, and although I just haven't wanted to go anywhere and do anything lately, because of health challenges, I pulled myself up and off I went. My appointments are always early afternoon because of early morning daily calls with the embassy in Jerusalem, so I always plan my day around these prayer calls. I took the scenic route through the woods, even though it takes longer, but it was nice going through the country back roads, off the beaten path. On the way home I stopped at the Family Dollar for some birthday cards, then the Amish store to pick up my gluten free bread, and finally Food Lion for a few necessities. Apparently they are short-handed as the shelves needed to be restocked in some areas, plus I heard a worker mention so as I left. It seems as if everyone needs workers around here, yet no one wants to work. If no one works, why complain about prices? It seems as if everyone wants a free ride with all the benefits without working for it. I'll soon be 76, and I have reconsidered going back to work should things get tighter for my senior budget. There are ample opportunities here making a good wage, and there are many job openings doing what I used to do as a case manager, but I don't want that responsibility. Who knows, I think about helping others, and that is the best way, as the system is definitely broken, and work as hard as the present government is trying to do, more help is needed. It breaks my heart, but for now, I am doing what I am supposed to be doing, and hopefully, I'm doing it well.

This evening the Israeli Memorial Day began, Yom HaZikaron, which honors fallen soldiers and remembers the deaths of those who died on 10/7/2023. It's very emotional for me, but tomorrow I will honor all those who have given their lives, but I also will grieve with the family members who have lost loved ones. Rachel Goldberg-Polin is the mother of former Hamas hostage Hersh Goldberg - Polin who was kidnapped in Gaza on 10/7/2023 and later assassinated with five others while in captivity. Rachel traveled every where asking for help to free the hostages, but help was not found soon enough. Thankfully our president was able to assist with the return of the remaining hostages. Tomorrow I may speak more about this, but it's too fresh right now, because I just listened to Rachel speak to a reporter on 60 Minutes who had met her before this interview. He even became choked up at one point, and he paused in his comments. Hersh was only 23 years old, referred to as her only son, but he had two sisters. Those who died with him were Carmel Gat, 40; Eden Yerushalmi, 24; Ori Danino, 25; Alexander Lobanov, 33; and Almog Sarusi, 27, executed and shot numerous times at close range right before the IDF found them in the tunnels. It was a very sad day, as they all were. 

As the rise in antisemitism gets crazier and people become more violent, there has been a conflict in Europe with Eurovision 2026 about banning Israel's participation after the threats received last year. However, there are vast numbers of celebrities who are finally opening their mouths and speaking out for these participants stating that these competitions have nothing to do with the current conflicts involving Israel. Why should these extremely talented young people be prevented from pursuing their dreams? Now that is a question we should consider in the United States and elsewhere. Why can't a young person, a middle-aged person, or an older person be banned or mistreated simply because they have a Jewish culture? In America anyone who wants to pursue their dreams as a citizen can do so. I have a blended heritage, as most people do, and I went to school. I had to get a scholarship and a loan, but I went, and I worked to pay off my own debt. I had nothing, but my husband worked hard, and we had three children, a mortgage, a car payment, and debts. We did it! I am very grateful when others need assistance and are able to receive it, and when I could help, I did, and I still do. That's the way I was raised. All this hate is ugly, just as it was when I was a little girl born in the 50's, but I thank God He shielded me from the hate. He only gave me love, and it grows daily for everyone, especially those who lead without conscience in our State. I pray for their salvation just as ardently as I do for others. Let's see how it turns out tomorrow after the polls close, and the votes are tallied.

My day would not have been complete without accidentally seeing an article in my Christian news about our former vice president speaking against our President at a woman's caucus. The criticisms were absurd and anyone with an education and who is able to read the news would know they were laughable lies. Yet, I'm sure she received a standing ovation, because that is just how evil things have become. While no one is perfect, there is a time when we must see with clear vision, speak out for truth, and expose the lies. But even if, God says that whatever is done in secret will be exposed by Him in the light, plus we all will reap what we have sown. I am grateful to hear Senator Federman speak out about the status of his party and his feelings. Perhaps someone else will speak out now, before the list of those who are up for re-election who are not going to run grows greater, probably because of fear of speaking the truth. It is easier to run and hide. The church does the same, sadly, but the day is coming, in fact, it is here now, when we must say, "Never Again!" 

Day 109 America Reads the Bible

 

 4/19/2026

"Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin

is a reproach to any people."  

Proverbs 14:34 

 

Today marks the beginning the America Reads the Bible as ministry leaders and national and international leaders, CEOs and ordinary people from all walks of life take their turn at the podium from Museum of the Bible's World Stage to read the Bible from Genesis to Revelation in one week.  One week One nation One book! The idea was inspired by Bunni Pounds:

"Bunni Pounds is the Founder and President of Christians Engaged as well as a Senior Vice President for Family Policy Alliance and Family Policy Alliance Foundation founded by Dr. James Dobson. She is the author of Jesus and Politics: One Woman’s Walk with God in a Mudslinging Profession and the upcoming book with the foreword by Candace Cameron Bure - Stepping Up to Lead: Rebuilding a Nation in the Footsteps of Nehemiah. She hosts two podcasts - Jesus for America, a devotional podcast teaching through scripture, and Conversations with Christians Engaged, an interview weekly show inspiring people to pray, vote, and engage ongoing." 

According to Intercessor's for America's post, "Pounds said the purpose of the marathon is to 'call the American people back to daily Bible reading for the well-being of our country.'  She hopes young leaders of tomorrow 'will rise to really fix the leadership crisis that we have in our country.'”

In Nehemiah 8:1-3, Ezra read the Word of God aloud to the people of Israel resulting in an "awakening revival and repentance" which inspired the people to get back to rebuilding the temple. Nehemiah was a contemporary of Ezra who had been sent back to Jerusalem by King Darius of Persia to rebuild the temple. Nehemiah served as the cupbearer of King Artaxerxes of Persia, and he had received news from a friend that the walls of Jerusalem were broken down and the gates burned. Upon hearing this news, he told the King who sent him back to Jerusalem temporarily to rebuild the walls. So Nehemiah mobilized the people, and overcoming opposition, they rebuilt the walls, and the temple was completed. Just as Nehemiah had to mobilize the people, Bunni Pounds feels that "America Reads the Bible is a sacred opportunity to call our nation back to its spiritual foundations. Through a public, continuous reading of the entire Bible in our nation’s capital by our national leaders from all spheres of influence, we believe God can spark revival in individual hearts and inspire Americans to carry the Word forward in their lives and communities into the next 250 years of our national story."

Just as in Ezra and Nehemiah's day, the call of America to rededicate our nation as One Nation Under God has met with opposition by many, sadly by those who serve in positions of leadership and in Congress. This should be a bipartisan effort to bring honor to our nation by giving honor to the God we serve, the One who makes all things possible, but sadly this is not happening.

Because of the sad state of our nation, the in-fighting and open, and often inflammatory comments made against each other, our nation is in trouble. Now is the time to humble ourselves and pray, seek God, as     2 Chronicles 7:14 instructs. It is a time to put aside hostility and stand in solidarity. The National Day of Pray will be honored on May 7th, and it will be another time for us to repent of our sins, humble ourselves and seek God's face. May we answer the call.

One Week. One Nation. One  

Day 108 These are the Days of My Life

 

4/18/2026

"We should all be concerned about the future, 

because we will have to spend the rest of our lives there."

Daily Walk

   

An early day today! Saturdays are usually my favorite days, because they are days of rest, relaxation, worship and singing, rejoicing, and listening to the word. Today was a very difficult and tricky text for Pastor Bill to go over, but I must say he gave us much to consider. The main reading was from the book of Leviticus, and it covered the laws for holiness as they related to personal hygiene and leprosy. Sounds like pretty heavy and intensely personal stuff, but really it can be understood from a somewhat different light if we look at it from a relative point of view which is what Bill does. I appreciate that about his teaching methods. We all need to know how to live in this world, because as Christians we represent a holy God, and we want to be examples of His righteousness to a world that's lost its way. 

When I was growing up my Mama and Grammy always had sayings for every occasion. With regards to personal hygiene and wearing clean clothes, they'd say "cleanliness is next to Godliness," or even if our clothes were older they'd say that they would "make clean come." Now I'm not exactly sure what that means, but I got their meaning, and I made sure that even if my clothes weren't store bought or perfect, as long as they were clean, the Lord didn't care. He cared that they were clean and fresh, and that I brushed my teeth, combed my hair, and took a bath. Or at least that is what I was led to believe. I was glad about that, because I always liked to look my best, and I can't remember being mistreated by anyone if my clothes were older. In fact Mama and Grammy both sewed, so I was blessed to have homemade dresses. I was always proud of my homemade clothing. As I got older, they taught me to sew, and I made clothes for my children and even made my husband shirts. The first one I made him I put the buttons on the wrong side, but he wore it anyway and never complained. When my older son graduated from high school, I made him a multi-patterned rayon shirt which was the rage at that time. He was the valedictorian, so I hope he felt special, as he loved that shirt. I asked him recently what happened to that masterpiece, and he said it went out of fashion. But fashion styles do circle back around, as history repeats itself. I'm still wearing skirts I made myself thirty-five years ago, and the rayon still looks brand new. I still receive compliments, and that makes me feel good, even though very few people wear ankle-length skirts. Virginians generally do not appreciate the Santa Fe style, but maybe I'll change the fashion mode!

Today marked Rosh Chodesh, the second month of the year on the Jewish calendar called Iyyar which marks a month of new beginnings. Just as the first month of the year, Nisan, began with Passover which marked the of the birth of the nation of Israel through their deliverance from Egypt, the month of Iyyar marks a time of healing and personal growth. When the children of Israel went through the desert they began to complain about not having food, and they grumbled about leaving the comfort of Egypt to starve in the desert. The Lord provided manna, bread from heaven, each day, but over a period of time and testing, the people complained about the same old stuff. The purpose of the daily manna along with the daily meal of quail, was to show them that God was their deliver and provider. It was a way of humbling  them and making them see their dependence on God who loved them and was going with them on their journey to the Promised Land. Several times they grumbled and wanted to return to the false security of Egypt, but God always heard their cries, and He always answered. Still, they had to pay the price for their rebellion, eventually through the death of an entire generation for their failure to believe that God would do what He said He would do. Why can't we just trust Him?!

As afternoon wore on my day became somewhat agitated by phone calls, texting, and other distractions at the wrong times. My relaxing and peaceful morning, recuperating from my tense and sleepless nights was becoming frought with confusion and anxiety. Even my cat has been a little more antsy than usual, as if someone is lurking behind him ready to pounce on him. Who knows what he encounters in his feral lifestyle in the wilds of Dinwiddie Gardens!

My windchimes were gently blowing in the breeze, and although they are supposed to be engineered to play Amazing Grace, what I discern is a blend of harmony and melody struggling against the breeze, but still pleasing in it's own way. So I can still hear and feel God's amazing grace, even so! Plus my imagination can harmonize the correct tune in my head, along with the bug sounds of trauma within my head that plays its raucous melody continuously. But I do find rest and peace. I have learned to do so in spite of whatever chaos or discordance drifts into my day attempting to bring disharmony. 

Later on in the evening after my son had his internet satellite aligned to receive the proper balance in order to function well, I was able to once again settle in to calm, and when I did finally pick up the phone in my self-defense, my daughter was happy again, and her topsy-turvy world had somehow righted itself, and she wanted to laugh again. 

These are the days of my life.