
3/5/2026
“See what kind of love the Father has given to us,
that we should be called children of God; and so we are.”
1 John 3:1
As you may recall, a few months ago God began to ask me to consider my motives, as I had been asking Him about things He had spoken to me, things He had asked me to do. I was confused, because opportunities that had opened, that seemed timely and fitting, I accepted as His leading, but the doors had been slammed shut only after a short period of time. I struggled over the matter for months until another unexpected change in my life occurred, but then the entire year had been a wild ride already with health concerns stemming from old injuries and surgeries, followed by my son's accident before Christmas and waiting for answers from that debacle, feeling so alone and unsupported by the local church. That shouldn't be a surprise to me, as it's been that way for many, many years. I don't understand that failure either. Perhaps it has nothing to do with me. I've tried to fit in, but I don't know why I am such a misfit. I love to talk about the miracles of God, the power of prayer and intercession, the sovereignty of God, and just how wonderful my Savior is to me. I have so much to be excited about, because He saved my soul from damnation, and now I'll be with Him one day when my time on earth is over - forever! Somehow this makes people uncomfortable, people who faithfully attend church! The streets are easier, as kindness speaks so loudly and authentically. I don't seek a position, just a sense of belonging, of purpose, acceptance as a child of God, passionate for His Word.
Yesterday I had my taxes done, and I walked away feeling so inadequate, no worthless, all because I no longer work. I file taxes, but each year I'm told I no longer have to file, because I don't make any money, so the taxes pulled from my minimal IRA that's issued to me each month are returned to me. When I was working I made a good salary, so I was "worth something." The tax lady didn't make me feel this way, someone else had a couple of years ago, and every so often I remember, because jabs come from different directions to remind me of my "worth." In the afternoon, as I stood talking with a neighbor, in my yard, a discussion about who should be allowed to vote came up. I was among one who shouldn't be allowed to vote, because I am not making an income to benefit the State. Imagine that! Each year I plan to get back to work, do something with my life. It doesn't seem as if I am "doing anything," when actually my life is quite full. I had been knitting for a community charity group, but it really wasn't my cup of tea, although the fellowship was nice. I also worked with another charity that makes missionary dolls for Samaritan Purse shoe boxes, among other ministries. I painted the dolls faces - one side happy, the other sad, representing the face of one saved from their sins, and the one who had not yet been told the Good News. It was lots of fun and a worthy effort, plus the people who did all the other jobs assembling these dolls were very nice. We even shared short devotionals, and I had shared one. My health took a spin, nothing serious, but aggravating. My three falls didn't help, and I still bear the pain for the last one. All that isn't so important, as I feel that I'm rather resilient for an older person. I never seemed to age mentally, so that's why I tend to take risks, like pulling on vines hanging from a tree limb. It wasn't a big tree, and the vine was pretty strong and resisted my attempts to dislodge it. I was adamantly opposed to leaving it there, as it was choking the life from the crepe myrtle trees, my daddy's trees that he worked so hard to preserve, whose beauty brings me joy. There's still work to do with them, but tomorrow my son and I are going outside to tackle some bushes, and maybe I'll give the vines another go.
This morning after the prayer call I was talking to God, asking Him to forgive me for some feelings that came back to me about some people who had hurt me, disappointed me really. But then I realized that maybe that's the way it was supposed to be, otherwise I would have said "yes" to more things, further complicating my already complicated life. I recently got dumped again, or at least it feels as if that is what happened, as I've not heard from the people in question. As I said before, I should be used to rejection by now, but then I got nudged again. What if I needed this to happen, because I had been hanging on in an uncomfortable situation for so long, feeling "less than" each week, not knowing how to "be more."
As I was sitting in my rocking chair, writing in my journal, crying a river, I heard the voice of God so clearly saying "I called you to stand on the wall, not live there." By that I understood that the call to intercessory prayer came to me years ago, when God spoke to me through a passage of scripture in Ezekiel 22:30, "And I sought for a man among them, that should make up the hedge, and stand in the gap before me for the land, that should not destroy it; but I found none." That verse changed my life, and I've never looked back. I still have a photo illustrating it on my table beside the bed. Since that time prayer took on new meaning, and over the years the desire has grown, as has my love for all people.
I'd been struggling to finish my blogs, four days behind, always racing to keep up with the daily news for this war that is off the charts when it comes to prophetic significance. I wanted to write the story, helping those who cannot understand the times, because they are not taught, to realize that the imminent return of Jesus is near. I especially want people to correct their thinking regarding the place Israel has in end time restoration. It amazes me that people, not even pastors, realize that we owe the Jewish people, God's chosen people, everything. Without them we wouldn't have a Bible, and we wouldn't have a Messiah. Jesus is after all a Jew. God has been telling me for years to "write the story," so I have been blogging the story, including those parts of my life that seemed to fit, but God said "there's so much more." That got my attention, because as I shared earlier, I was feeling a bit "stuck" this morning when I began to write. It was as if He was sitting here, with His arm around me, talking to me, saying "Yes, I called you to write the story, and yes, Israel is part of it, but there's so much more. You say you're worthless, but I call you My Own, My Beloved One. When you say you are not enough or less than, you're calling Me a liar, and I am not a man that I lie. You know this. So pick up your pen and begin again. Heed My voice in My Word, as you always do, and tell "the story" I put inside of you. You know it. I don't have to remind you. Begin again with renewed spirit, and the words will flow, your memory recharged."
So here I am again, writing. "The time will come when all these things come to pass. I know you worry about age, don't! Remember my servants. My servants still speak - your friends Oswald and Andrew, and yes, Brennan and Rich."
Tonight I received an email from Hope California who's in the beginning of revival and restoration with meetings scheduled soon. It shared:
"The world defines worth by success, comparison, or status, but the Gospel roots it in belonging. In Christ, you are loved, forgiven, chosen, and sent. Let every lie of shame or rejection fall away as you declare His truth over your life. Stand not as one earning approval, but as one already embraced. As you walk in that confidence, fear of rejection loses its grip, and your words of encouragement can breathe new identity into those who feel unseen or forgotten."
- Thank God that your identity is in Christ, renounce lies of shame, rejection, or insignificance, and declare God’s truth over yourself: loved, chosen, forgiven, and sent.
- Pray that believers in LA would stand in their God-given identity and authority.
- Ask God to raise up confident, humble sons and daughters across the city.
- Pray that your secure identity in Christ would free you from fear of rejection when sharing your faith.
- Ask God to open doors for you to speak identity and hope into those who feel lost, unseen, or ashamed.
I don't think this is coincidence!

