Day 58 Eyes on You

 

2/27/2026 

“We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on You.”  

2 Chronicles 20:12 

 

 "Lord, I'm hungry for you!" These words were the first I heard as I listened to my morning worship. The song spoke to the feelings I have, longing, aching to be in His Presence. My heart and my flesh may fail, but I hunger for You! Yesterday, I was so grateful for the illustration of the priestly garments and the stones of the ephod and breastplate, that I dreamed of the mysteries of Christ, and I wanted nothing more than to just sit and listen. I wanted to refocus my thoughts only on my Father and not on the cares of this world. Always waiting for the mood to swing in any given situation, and watching as I pray and the answer does not come. This does not steal my faith, however, as I have grown accustomed to waiting, but it bothers others who may not have taken the time "Be still and know that He is God."

As Purim approaches, and the days of fasting and heightened prayer for revival and an end to this savagery going on in Iran must be cut off, and as we await the next move by the Israeli and American governments, there seems to be greater darkness in the clouds above. I remember the vision I received of the Lord standing with His arm raised to the skies as the darkened clouds gathered in the sky began to turn, as if in a cauldron brewing an evil batch of poison. Yet, I knew that this was not the enemies of heaven initiating this turmoil, but it was the hand of the Lord, the Commander of the Armies of Heaven giving command to His angelic guard. The battle has always been, but in recent days the storm has increased. A friend shared with me that she had been given a vision of seeing funnels, like multiple tornadoes, coming down from heaven upon the earth. For some time now, going on three years since Hamas brutally and inhumanely massacred the innocent citizens of Israel, many while they slept - 1200 men, women, children, infants - the enemy has gathered against Israel, and they have been beaten back on seven fronts. The enemy of our souls has been using social media and liars clothed as truth bearers who gain the trust of gullible people, sensationalized against the people of God, to get the attention and increase hatred. I feel that it is about to gain momentum, as the head of the snake must be cut off. 

Last night in my weekly Bible study with Harvest I could feel tension in the air, and I could look at the faces of some and see mixed emotions, all concerning. The text in Luke we were discussing was found in Chapter 7:18-28 where John the Baptist had been imprisoned for some time, and his soul disquieted. His wait in prison had been long, and he questioned why it was taking Jesus so long to act, if indeed He was the Messiah sent to free them from Roman cruelty. John, like the disciples, did not understand that Jesus was not sent to save them from the Romans, He was sent to save souls from the wrath of God, to instruct them of the Kingdom of God. He came to set the captives free spiritually. He came as the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. So John sent two of his followers to ask Jesus if He was the One, or should they look for another. Quietly John sent his followers to inquire of Jesus in the same manner, rather than in a public display of unbelief. No, not John, as He knew His cousin, Jesus, and John knew he was sent to prepare the way of the Lord. Jesus, loving His cousin, spoke patiently and kindly to the two disciples, not in harshness, but Jesus addressed them for all those crowded around to hear:

"Jesus answered and said to them, 'Go and tell John the things you have seen and heard: that the blind see, the lame walk, the lepers are cleansed, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, the poor have the gospel preached to them. And blessed is he who is not offended (who does not fall away) because of Me.'" (Luke 7:22-23).

After the disciples of John departed, Jesus spoke to the crowds about John, testifying of his mission here on earth, so that they would understand that John was His forerunner sent from God to prepare the way for His arrival. Although his appearance, the way he dressed and how he ate, may have seemed strange to some, John had faithfully followed his heavenly mandate. He ends His message by saying, "For I say to you, among those born of women there is not a greater prophet than John the Baptist; but he who is least in the kingdom of God is greater than he." (Luke 7:28)

Even prophets can have periods of doubt, because this is an emotion we all feel in one way or another, at one time or another. It is not unbelief that is an act of the will of a person, a determined stance and an attitude of the heart that can fester and lead to evil. Scriptures recounts episodes of doubt when we consider Elijah on Mount Carmel after he had destroyed the prophets of Baal, Peter as he walks on water, Moses when he did not want to continue the journey to the Promised Land without knowing God would go with him. Even the Apostle Paul had times when he questioned as noted in 2 Corinthians 1. We are all human, frail and fragile as dust, but Jesus, being in the form of man, understood this, and He did not condemn those who earnestly sought Him and followed God's laws. And so it is for us today who desire to walk a life surrendered to His will. The enemy will attempt to discourage us, especially if we are standing on the walls of Jerusalem, linking arms with the Chosen People, or as we stand praying for the deliverance of the Iranian people from the evil regime of this jihad that serves a false god of hatred - first to the Jews and then to the United States. We stand with Christians all over this world who are being persecuted, and we pray for the salvation and deliverance of each of our respective States within America to see the enemy's stranglehold over the people removed. We stand praying for the church to arise and take her rightful place, taking the authority Jesus gave to her, opening the blind eyes to see the deception of the enemy, even within the walls of the church. We each, as believers and followers of Jesus, have a job to do. Let us unite with the people of God and take our places at this appointed time.  

Day 57 Weight of Prayers

 

2/26/2026 

"So Aaron shall bear the names of the

sons of Israel on the breastplate of judgment

over his heart, when he goes into the holy place, as a

memorial before the LORD continually."

Exodus 28:29

 

When God wrote the commandments and laws for the children of Israel with Moses on Mount Sinai, He instructed Moses to have the people read the the laws once they were in the Promised Land and to follow them all the days of their lives. God also instructed Moses in the construction of the tabernacle and in the how to craft and skillfully design each detail following precisely as God said it should be done. Moses followed each detail to the letter. Aaron and his four sons, Nadab, Abihu, Eleazar, and Ithamar, were the priests and were to wear holy garments, as they ministered directly to God. The garments they wore would be a breastplate, an ephod, a robe, a skillfully woven tunic, a turban, and a sash, all intricately designed and holy. The ephod was to have two onyx stones, one on each shoulder, each bearing the names of the tribes of Israel, six on each stone. Aaron as high priest would bear the names of the tribes of Israel on his shoulders when he ministered to the LORD. The breastplate was to have twelve stones in three rows, representing the tribes of Israel. The first row was a sardius, a topaz, and an emerald; the second row a turquoise, a sapphire, and a diamond; the third row, a jacinth, an agate, and an amethyst; the fourth row a beryl, an onyx, and a jasper. They were to be set in gold settings. The breastplate covered the high priest's heart. The high priest would take each tribe with him before the Presence of God wearing the breastplate and ephod.

Just as Aaron, in the position of high priest, wore the stones on his shoulders, bearing the weight of the of  six tribes on each shoulder, and as he bore the weight of the breastplate with all twelve tribes represented by their respective stones, so it is with the intercessor. When we pray we are taking the weight of another, the burdens, hurts, illnesses, and all needs on our shoulders and in our hearts as we stand in the gap offering prayers of intercession on their behalf. This made me think of my Bible study group, and how as their leader I bare their cares in prayer to God. I stand in the gap for each one, and I petition a holy God on their behalf. 

The scripture speaks as Jesus as our High Priest, seated in heaven beside the throne of God where He makes intercession for us. In 1 John 2:1 John tells us, "My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, , we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous." And in Hebrews 7:25, "Therefore He is also able to save to the uttermost those who come to God through Him, since He always lives to make intercession for them." Many times we don't know how to pray, but we can come boldly to the throne of grace, because Jesus made a way for us, and when He died, the veil that separated us from God our Father, was torn in two, and as believers in Jesus we now have unlimited access to God.

Day 60 Look Up

 

 3/1/2026

 "Now when these things begin to happen, 

look up and lift up your heads, because

your redemption draws near."

Luke 21:28  

 

This has been another long day with many events happening simultaneously and rather quickly. There have been brief periods of calm in Israel, and although much continues to happen in Iran, the people continue to be hopeful and are dancing in the streets. In Washington, DC I understand dancing in the streets has also been observed. Interesting things are happening in various places, and a lot of fire power and military action continues in the air space over the Middle East. Here in the United States another mass shooting occurred in Austin, Texas leaving to people dead and fourteen injured. The gunman was shot and killed, and he was reported to have been wearing a t-shirt with the words "Property of Allah" written on it. Another senseless terror cell of activity at the hands of a deceived and demonic individual on the streets of America. When will these senseless murders and staged riots that prey on the uneducated, drawing them into heinous crimes end. When will the nation wake up to reality and see who is truly behind the mob violence and senseless killings of innocent lives. When will the citizens in America elect men and women of integrity and good moral judgment into positions of authority. God, forgive us.

Things have been unfolding so quickly that it is easy to become distracted by an equally imposing threat from another direction. As intercessors, positioned on the wall of Jerusalem, our focus includes many fronts. As Israel and the United States continue to destroy strategic sites in Iran, the Iranian Revolutionary Guard Corp (IRGC) continues to shoot rockets, ballistic missiles and send in drones into Israel and other areas in retaliation of the death of the Supreme Leader of Iran, Ayatollah Khomeini. Hezbollah claimed responsibility for the missile attack in Beit Shemesh killing nine Israeli citizens. It is interesting to note that while the Israeli forces and United States fighters make every attempt to avoid the killing of citizens, this has always been a pattern for Iran and its proxies. It is also ironic that while factions in the United States and elsewhere condemn this important mission, Iran continues to behave irresponsibly and with hatred exacting punishment on middle eastern countries. Although their fire power has been considerably lessened, they continue to indiscriminately attack others, often targeting innocent civilians. A hotel in Dubai was destroyed, Qatar was attacked, and they have housed many of the high-ranking regime members from Iran, Hamas, and Hezbollah. Sean Feucht of Let Us Worship has an office for his ministry Light a Candle, a global missions movement for sharing the Great Commission, is located near the American military base that was hit by Iran today. Fortunately, no one was injured.

The Jewish Feast of Purim begins tomorrow commemorating the liberation of the Jewish nation from annihilation back in the days of King Ahasuerus of  Persia and Queen Esther, who was a Jewess. I have written about this feast day previously, and I have posted a wonderful article written by David Parsons from the International Christian Embassy in Jerusalem on my Facebook page. This was a time during the chosen people's exile in Persia when a wicked leader tricked the King into signing an edict against the Jews because of his hatred and jealousy of Esther's cousin, Mordecai. During Purim the story of Esther is read in homes and enacted. 

Besides Purim, Ramadan, Islam's high holy day, is being observed. It is a time of fasting, repentance, and crying out to Allah all while spouting death to the Jews and to the United States. Many Muslims have come to believe in Jesus during this time, as they are cry out to their fictitious god, Jesus Christ manifests His presence and many have been saved testifying of the appearance of the Man in White. God moves in mysterious ways His wonders to perform, and many Muslims have been transformed by a visitation of the Lord Jesus. Many are praying and fasting for Holy Spirit to draw all men to Christ Jesus.

Between March 2-3 there will be another phenomenon in the skies as the blood moon will grace the heavens. This is a total lunar eclipse where the blood moon darkens the sky, and in ancient history is an omen of war. An article notes the following:  "According to NASA, a rare planetary alignment is visible this week, with Mercury, Venus, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, and Neptune appearing together across the night sky. Astronomers sometimes call this a "planetary parade," a phenomenon that occurs only occasionally when multiple planets line up from Earth's vantage point."  It is significant that it is happening at Purim and during this time of War with Iran, as Bible history continues to unfold. There are two scriptures in the book of Joel describing such an event in Biblical history:

"And I will show wonders in the heavens and in the earth; blood and fire and pillars of smoke. The sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood, before the coming of the great and awesome day of the LORD. And it shall come to pass that whoever calls on the name of the LORD shall be saved. For in Mount Zion and in Jerusalem there shall be deliverance, as the LORD has said, among the remnant whom the LORD calls." Joel 2:30-32

"Multitudes, multitudes in the valley of decision! For the day of the LORD is near in the valley of decision. The sun and moon will grow dark, and the stars will diminish their brightness. The LORD also will roar from Zion, and utter His voice from Jerusalem; the heavens and earth will shake; but the LORD will be a shelter for His people, and the strength of the children of Israel." Joel 3:14-16

Only Father God knows the times and seasons, but it is significant that all of these events are happening at the same time, as evil continues to work its way into the hearts of people throughout this world. Although wars and rumors of wars can be terrifying, witnessing these happenings is also exciting knowing that the return of Jesus Christ is near. Will He find us ready?

Day 59 What Shall We Do

 

2/28/2026

"The lion has roared, who will not fear?

The Lord God has spoken, who can but prophesy?"

Amos 3:8

 

As usual I'm running late on getting my blogs finished, but I felt that this one should go before completing the others, as it's been an eventful twenty-four hours. It was late...or rather, very early, this morning when I was finally getting ready for bed. I noticed that my computer was still on, so I  decided that I should check my emails, something I never do that late. An email from Jerusalem Post caught my eye, as it was  announcing a strike made by Israel and the United States against Iran, Israel's Roaring Lions leading the initial strike on the headquarters in Iran. This attack was not surprising, in fact, it was imminent as Iran continued to shout death to Israel and to the United States. Immediately, I began receiving a series of red alerts from Israel on my phone announcing an early warning to get into the safe rooms and shelters, followed by rocket fire alerts. As I'm writing this blog right now, three warnings have been given for three areas of Israel...and they're continuing rapidly in succession. This is what happened early this morning and non-stop the entire day as a continuous barrage of missiles and drones continued throughout the day and night. 

After the initial strike on Iran, Iran, shocked by the early morning warfare, responded by firing on United States military bases in Saudi Arabia, Qatar, United Arab Emirates, Kuwait, and Jordan. They also fired on Israel, but God protected her with the Iron Beam and other military power. The regime was caught off guard when Israel's strike hit this morning, as they did not have time to prime up their launchers to shoot the deadly missiles that cause great destruction. The hits made by the United States air corp and Israel's Air Force (IAF) were strategic and carried out with precision accuracy. There have been reports tonight that the Supreme Leader of Iran, Ayatollah Ali Khomeini was killed in the initial strikes, along with several leaders of his jihad. The destruction of this regime, who has been massacring so many of their own people, hiring murders from Afghanistan and other countries to savagely murder, without conscience, the Iranian people who were protesting the violent regime, was necessary for the freedom of the people who have been enslaved since 1979. 

When President Trump announced Operation Epic Fury he called it "a major combat operation" against the Islamic regime. He also explained: "Our objective is to defend the American people by eliminating imminent threats from the Iranian regime, a vicious group of very hard, terrible people. Its menacing activities directly endanger the United States, our troops, our bases overseas, and our allies throughout the world." As we continue to pray for this ongoing battle, remember that we need to pray against outside and inside threats to the peace and safety of our American people here in the United States. Right now, in our states and on the streets, the opposition has been strategically placed, and our homes, our schools, our businesses, our places of worship, and our streets are not safe. Our President and his administration have relentlessly been attempting to change this situation, but he meets criticism and political sabotage from every direction. I don't understand this, as America is our home, and we should have peace within our borders especially when it comes to citizens behaving morally and ethically. History always seems to repeat itself. We need to change, and put our eyes on the Author and Finisher of our faith. Jesus is the answer whether anyone, even the church, does not believe or accept that. Fortunately, we have strong believers in our leadership who still believe the nation's motto In God We Trust. Let us as citizens and believers in Christ go and do likewise.

Day 56 Whatever it Takes

 

2/25/2026

 

My days have become very busy, and try as I may, I am unable to stay caught up. Next week I have an appointment scheduled to complete my taxes, and although I don't really need to put myself through so much grief each year, as I have nothing to report, I still manage to stress myself out. It's not really that so much as all the things I am involved in as part of the prayer ministries, and added to that family responsibilities, and then questions I am asked that go against the grain. Honestly, I've been a bit grouchy at times, and my responses have been straight forward and blunt. Of course it's not my nature to be cruel or short with anyone who is honestly needing an answer, but with all that is going on in the world, and especially in my immediate sphere of influence, it is rather disconcerting to be asked questions that seem to have obvious answers, especially for a believer in Christ.

I grow tired of the criticisms found on social media. Each day someone new has a podcast or video smearing someone's character or trying to discredit a fellow believer. Perhaps that's an example of an oxymoron, because in scripture we are warned against the sin of gossip, slander, and libel, so one couldn't be a true believer and behave so viciously. It would seem a common courtesy to avoid such things. Also wisdom, but we do need to be discerning. My advice is what I share almost on a daily basis, "Stick to the Book!" I coined that phrase from Billy Graham. I am so grateful that no one has made attempts to discredit him or his ministry, and if they have, please do not tell me, because my response would not be well-taken. I've grown very weary of watching pastors and leaders fall into ruin. I just pray that they run to our Savior, repent, and allow the Lord to clean them up. We have all fallen short of God's glory, and we can be duped by the "angel of light" sometimes. The enemy has been busy, and he is out to kill, steal, and destroy. So we walk in wisdom, discerning the truth through the Word of God. 

Wednesdays are my night when I unwind with worship leader Terry MacAlmon and listen to his Hour with Jesus aired on YouTube every Wednesday, unless he has been invited to minister at a church or an event to serve in worship. Tonight he played some of my favorite older contemporary songs and hymns. At a time when I was very ill, taking care of my daughter, who was very ill, and struggling to save my marriage, there were certain worship artists whose songs brought me comfort. Now when I listen to them, I am immediately lifted to the throne room of God, bowing before Him with the saints and angels. In the Presence of Jehovah is one of those songs:

"In and out of situations
That tug-of-war at me
All day long I struggle
For answers that I need
But then I come into His presence
And all my questions become clear
And for that sacred moment
No doubts can interfere

In the presence of Jehovah
God Almighty, Prince of Peace
Troubles vanish, hearts are mended
In the presence of the King

Through His love the Lord provided
A place for us to rest
A place to find the answers
In the hour of distress
Now there's never any reason
For you to give up in despair
Just slip away and breathe His name
He will surely meet you there

In the presence of Jehovah
God Almighty, Prince of Peace
Troubles vanish, hearts are mended
In the presence of the King"

The chorus takes me away to a place where I can release all my pent up emotions and just release them to Abba. Music can be so healing. Another artist who also has a spot on YouTube on Wednesdays in the middle of the day is Don Moen, also from Integrity Music back in the day. His songs, God Will Make a Way and He Will Come and Save You, are two songs that stir my heart. There were many nights back in those troubled days mentioned above, when I couldn't sleep because of physical pain, so I'd put on my headset and his CD, and I'd dance around the house with my stuffed cow Bubba as my dance partner. These days, whenever I hear Don's songs, I'll dance with Charles, aka Charlie Horse, my plush horse, as Bubba is still in New Mexico in service to my daughter at this time. I know it sounds a little silly for an adult to dance around the room with a toy, but I have a history of such things, and I'm too old to outgrow them, plus it works! Beatrix Potter would approve, and Jesus did say we need to be as little children, with purity of heart. 

Whatever it takes to keep my focus on things that will celebrate the glory of God is how I want to live my life. Even if I stand on my head in a corner and sing love songs to Jesus. It's an end to a wonderful day! 

Day 55 Let Us Say

 

2/24/2026

 "What then shall we say to these things? 

If God is for us, who can be against us?"

Romans 8:31

 

Just like most Americans I have been watching the State of the Union address to Congress by our President Donald J. Trump tonight. Yesterday I watched the Angel Families Remembrance Ceremony hosted by President Trump recognizing American citizens who had been murdered by violent illegal immigrants allowed in our country by open borders. Also streaming tonight are the first two episodes of the MAHA Movie Documentary - The Truth About Medicine. It's a busy night! 

The State of the Union address was lengthy, but I was pleasantly surprised by our President's recognition of those family members who had lost loved ones at the hands of criminals who were allowed to roam the city free, and others who had died in the line of duty, serving our country. The Congressional Medal of Honor was awarded to Korean War veteran Royce Williams, age 100, for his "heroic secret dogfight against Soviet MiGs in 1952." The First Lady had the honor of placing the medal around his neck. It was a treasured moment for him and for all Americans. Our veterans have selflessly served our nation well, and they deserve every accommodation. Our active military, often young men and women, deserve to be remembered and recognized for their dedication and service. And when civilians are victims of insanity, the families should be honored and comforted in their grief.

I have grown very disappointed in elected officials behaving poorly in public meetings or gatherings. Before social media became the blab all vehicle for those who disagreed with one another on subjects of vital concern to the Americans who have supported them and whose interests they are supposed to represent, men and women would meet together behind closed doors and work things out like gentlemen and ladies should do. Things have changed so drastically, and once clear-headed leaders have grown cold, vindictive, and thirsting for more and more power. It doesn't matter who is harmed. I don't understand why such people are allowed to remain in governmental positions. 

I am in my early senior years now, but I was raised in a family where regardless of how someone felt, we stood together on common ground. I was not born into wealth nor were we considered well off, but my daddy was an honest, hard-working man as was my grandfather. Life wasn't always perfect, especially when my parents were younger, but they still grew up with strong moral values in a time when a handshake meant something. We went to church on Sunday, and our Sunday School teachers were also our school teachers. They were also friends to our parents and grandparents, but none of this made us favored, just the opposite in fact. We were expected to be examples, and I pray we were. It's not that way now.

The MAHA movie documentary series on health just began airing to those who wish to see it, about the health crisis in America. So far it has been very enlightening, but as a biology major and former researcher in the field of diabetes, I was not surprised at many of the findings. I have also been employed in the health insurance industry. As a child I was very ill, and it continued until I was 57 years of age before the Lord healed my many infirmities. I had been to many doctors over that span of years, causing great financial hardship on my parents and myself. Over that time my daughter and sons, the younger son in particular, were facing many health issues, and my older son was diagnosed with thyroid cancer two years ago. My daughter has suffered with immunodeficiency disorders, and over the years we have searched for natural remedies. She had achieved a balance at one time, but recently she has been suffering other effects, and causing new health crises. In a recent study I had been doing for my own health concerns, I stumbled on to some research that got me wondering about cellular function, so I spoke to my daughter, and we're beginning a new protocol, if you call it that. I was encouraged when the first and second episodes of the MAHA movie spoke of the root cause of one disease that is said to be incurable. That word, "incurable," always catches my attention as it's been said to me a few times. I never pay attention to that word, because my God heals, and nothing is impossible with Him. It really boosted my self-esteem a bit to realize that I was "spot on" regarding my findings. For everyone who has negative things to say about Robert Kennedy, Jr. they need to see this movie. I am awaiting the next episodes with great anticipation.

I understand that each person has an opinion, but it is my heartfelt prayer that people will wake up and do the work themselves. Rather than listen to what anyone else says or how anyone else feels, check it out  for yourself and become informed. You may be surprised. Sadly, however, few will do the honorable thing, and the gossip and power plays will continue. The news is ripe with unhappy people protesting the very people they voted for in the first place. They didn't check credentials, so they got what voted for, in ignorance. Others are so disgruntled with life or so taken in by a cunning smile or grandfatherly hug that they go down the wrong path...until it is too late. Then we all suffer. This includes the church that appears to be staying home, sleeping in, waiting for Jesus to return, although with attitudes that do not align with God's laws, will they be ready when He comes as a thief in the night?! I'd be concerned. 

I'm just a simple person to whom God has given much - eternal salvation, and each day I work it out with fear and trembling. I am my own worst critic, as I want to be able to stand before a holy God and hear the words "well done." I want to finish the race that He has set before me to do. I don't aspire to be wealthy nor do I seek to be famous or admired. I am a simple servant walking out my faith, praying for the world, starting right here at home, and following to the best of my ability to go into the world and make disciples of all men, as Jesus commanded. I owe my life to Jesus Christ, and He is my everything. We are told to pray for leaders and those in authority so we may have peaceful lives. That's not such a bad command, is it? So why do we have such a difficult time walking it out?! 

"If it had not been the LORD who was on our side,"

let Israel now say - "If it had not been the LORD who was on

our side, when men rose up against us, then....!"

Psalm 124:1-2  

Day 54 Obedience

 

2/23/2026

"Obedience is not the essence of a right

relationship with God, but it is the

evidence of it."

Daily Walk

 

Sunday evening I had the privilege of hearing Sister Nechama from the Evangelical Sisterhood of Mary in Phoenix, Arizona speak at Jesus Image. When I need to be quiet and sit in the Presence of the Lord, I visit this wonderful online ministry located in Florida. I was delighted to see that Sister Nechama was sharing. She has a simple grace and shares from her heart as a bride of Christ who has dedicated her life to serving Him. She spoke of our relationship with Jesus, how He suffered for us, and how we will be tested, as He was tested. She said "We can't let Jesus distance Himself from us, or we will not be able to stand it." What she was referring to is the troubles that are now facing us and those that will be coming as the day approaches. She said for us not to fear what is coming, just to focus on Jesus. How those words burned in my heart, because these are the same words He spoke to me, "Focus on Me." It doesn't matter what anyone else is saying or doing or not doing or not saying. The only thing that matters is that I focus on Him. 

There are so many times in scripture that David cried out to the Lord in frustration asking Him, "How long, O Lord, before You answer me." Sometimes he doubted whether God was even listening to him. But as he cried out to Him, he would also speak of His faithfulness and his trust. There were many times in the scriptures where weakness overcame the believer. Jesus Himself cried out to God in agony as He hung on that cross crying "My God, my God, why have You forsaken Me?" Prior to this He faced the doubt of His disciples who did not understand His message, although He had spoken to them many times. After Judas left to betray Him, Jesus tried again to prepare them. 

As Sister Nechama looked out upon the sea of young faces in the crowd she noticed that there were older people in the audience, and she made the comment that it was good to see the older believers, as they would be needed as examples as the younger or new believers caught the fresh fire of Holy Spirit. It's interesting that she said that, as I have been feeling insignificant and no longer of use to the Lord, because I'm getting older. I'm considered a senior, and seniors, especially women, are to be watched over and tended to in the church, as if we are no longer capable of providing a service to others. Because of the rules imposed I don't really fit, because unless I'm a card carrying member, I'm just a visitor. But that's not me, and Jesus did say to occupy until He returned. I don't think He meant occupy a seat, but rather, be busy about the Father's business. I'm not sure how old Sister Nechama is, but she certainly isn't taking a seat. She's busy sharing with the younger ones. I pray that God will open up a door of opportunity for me, so I will know where I belong. I really don't want to spend any more time trekking through the wilderness. I know I have much to learn, and I am hungry for it. I ache to do His will in my life. It's what I live for, serving Him.

I was reminded once more of the verse in Zechariah 4:10 "For who has despised the day of small beginnings?" when God is reminding Zerubbabel of the importance of small steps in achieving goals, or at least that is how I interpret it. He was rebuilding the temple that had been put off for too long, so the prophet Zechariah was sent by God to encourage them to finish it. Opposition and delays always seem to come when we are attempting important tasks for the LORD, and the people had returned from seventy years of exile in Babylon. Naturally, there would be naysayers and discouragement. But obedience to the task is the important matter, and Zechariah provided the encouragement that the people needed, because he strengthened them in knowing the blessing in the future.

Perhaps I'm growing weary in the waiting. Sister Nechama reminds me that although I'm older I can still be valuable in sharing my journey with others, being a source of encouragement. Small beginnings? It just seems as if I'm Moses on the back burner of the desert waiting for a burning bush. At least he had sheep to tend. All I have is a feral cat and my son, who doesn't seem to be listening too well. So why am I here? I am writing, but am I accomplishing anything? I guess it really isn't important to know if anyone is listening or not. What is important is that I'm trying to be obedient by writing. I have to leave everything else up to God. I know He'll direct me to the next step. He always finishes what He starts, so I'll do what Jesus said to, "Keep your eyes on Me."