Day 104 Yom HaShoah

 

4/14/2026

"As the mountains surround Jerusalem, 

so the LORD surrounds His people

from this time forth 

and forever."

Psalm 125:2

 

Today we remember, and today we repeat the words we repeat so often - "Never again!" Each year we remember the six million who lost their lives in the Holocaust, but we also remember those who survived and continue to live through the sirens that sound in Israel almost daily in some areas. In Haifa, located in the northern part of Israel on the coast, the International Christian Embassy Jerusalem (ICEJ), a ministry I call family, has a home for Holocaust survivors, a place where they have community and live a safe and closely knit life with family, living out the remainder of their years in Israel. Haifa House is only one ministry that supports these dearly beloved elders whom I hope one day to meet. The Jewish people have become so much more important to me, and my heart is broken, as is the heart of God, when I see the tremendous rise in antisemitism growing daily in our nation and in the nations of this world. If I live to be whatever age my LORD desires to keep me on this earth, I will never understand hatred. I didn't understand prejudice when I was a very young girl who was silenced more than once for asking the wrong questions. 

One of our team members, a couple who lives in Liverpool in the United Kingdom, stated that the authorities are now going door to door asking who supports Israel. If they are standing with Israel, then their names are entered into a book. The same is happening elsewhere in Europe as antisemitism and the lies are growing more each day from false media and hatred being spewed by those who hate the Jewish people and do not feel that Israel has a legitimate right to exist. Those professing to be Christians, and the churches who are labeled as such, are included in this group. How can anyone who holds a Bible in their hands daily believe such heresy and lies. From Genesis to Revelation the Bible states the story of the Jewish people. The Bible was written by the Jewish people, and thankfully they shared it with the world. We have so much to thank them for, yet we are blinded by the lies that can be dispelled if one just reads the Bible, praying that God will show them the truth that sets men free. In Genesis God called Abraham, then Abram, to leave his family, so that God could use him to create a nation that would be a blessing to all nations. Genesis 12:1-4 states:

"Now the LORD had said to Abram: 'Get out of your country, from your family and from your father's house, to a land that I will show you. I will make you a great nation; I will bless you and make your name great; and you shall be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and I will curse him who curses you; and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.' So Abram departed as the LORD had spoken to him, and Lot went with him. And Abram was seventy-five years old when he departed from Haran." 

In verse 7 of Genesis 12 when Abram reached the land, God appears to Abram again: "Then the LORD appeared to Abram and said, 'To your descendants I will give this land.' And there he built an altar to the LORD, who had appeared to him." 

There is so much controversy going on now by once trusted men and women of God, one in particular who is hurting the cause of Christ in his criticism of Israel. This man is obviously under a demonic stronghold, but rather than be angry at him or at any other person, we who stand with Israel recognize that we are not dealing with flesh and blood, but with the principalities, powers, spiritual darkness of this age, and spiritual wickedness in high places. So we fight on our knees. I pray that the church will wake up from their slumber and stand with Israel, or they may suffer also.

This afternoon I attended a conference call with one of the ministries in Israel in the Bonhoeffer tradition. There was one lady on the call who has a ministry in America with whom I am acquainted, and she spoke about her personal search for her Judeo-Christian roots, and she found some troubling past sins in the family line that led her to repent on behalf of the dark past with regards to Israel. She challenged each of us to do the same. I am always bringing past sins up as Holy Spirit shines the light on my life, repenting on behalf of others, beginning first with myself, even though I was not involved. Still this is how it is done corporately. Unknown to this speaker or anyone, other than my son, I have already been searching a little deeper into my family history to find connections. What I have discovered has already cut me to the core, but I also am overjoyed with some things I have realized. It began with a friend becoming fascinated with the story of the Shroud of Turin, what is believed to be the burial cloths of Jesus. The evidence has been verified as truth over and over, even by those who initially hoped to prove others wrong. I love it when those who think they know something, find they know nothing. The Bible says as much when Paul the Apostle tells us that we see through a glass darkly. But what they found concerns me and my family personally, and I find it fascinating. I hope to connect with the speaker from yesterday's conference with my findings. 

I also happened upon another person's testimony, and I hope to listen to that as well. Who knows, perhaps whoever reads this post will discover that lurking in the shadows of your DNA lie secrets. Regardless of what I discover, I am not ashamed to say that I stand with Israel, and on this day I stand grieving the loss of all the lives during the Holocaust and the Warsaw Revolution and for the lives that have been lost during this ugly time since 10/7/2023. This hatred must end, and it must end now. Whether anyone likes it or not, Israel was established by God, and the Jewish people are His Chosen People. Gentiles who believe in Christ and live for Him have been granted the unique blessing of being grafted into the vine to partake of the blessings God spoke about to Abraham. But, in Romans 11 Paul clearly spells it out that if we do not live accordingly, we can be cut off. It is sobering indeed, so take a look at Romans, Chapters 9-11. Then thank God for His extreme mercy and grace. This is His will and His Word, and the gifts and callings of God are irrevocable.

So today, we honor you, and we pray for the salvation of the Jewish people, so that they will know the Savior of the world and that He is coming again! Shalom!

Day 103 What Matters Most

 

4/13/2026

 "All labels die when tested."

- Unknown

 

Yesterday I heard a pastor I respect speaking about the condition of the church, and while it is discouraging to watch what is happening, or not happening in our American churches, it was rather refreshing to see that someone is paying attention. Often I wonder if anyone is heeding the admonition of the LORD in the scriptures. I made a comment once about the original church, and how Jesus never said anything about denominations; He spoke of "the body." The pastor also commented, as have I, that Martin Luther and other early theologians would be appalled that a religion was named after them. I imagine many of the early theologians would be upset should they discover that religions or denomination originated from their teachings which have caused divisions in the body of Christ. When there are differences in schools of thought, personal beliefs or interpretations of scripture, a rift in the church develops, and a new church is birthed. The is not church planting. This is pride that goes before a fall. These are my thoughts, but apparently others have also considered it. It seems as if each one has an agenda that they follow, so if others don't believe as they do, a new movement is launched. The Bible should be the only authority on a matter, not personal feelings. Seems tiring having all these man made labels. This is why I call myself a follower of Christ, and my source is strictly the Bible, the word of God. Today I heard someone talking about the Ethiopian Bible being more accurate than the King James Version because it contains many of the parts left out for whatever reason they were not considered part of the original scriptures. I find it disturbing that there are so many Bibles with pastors' names on them. I understand that opinions and interpretations of texts are included, but it seems a bit presumptuous to me to use one's name as author of the Bible. This is my opinion.

I've been reading the book Tortured for Christ by Richard Wurmbrand, a Romanian priest who was imprisoned and tortured by the Communist Party for fourteen years. His testimony of forgiveness is amazing, as are those of the people he lists. It seems that the years of torture only served to make him love his tormentors all the more. How is that possible, one may ask? Well, the love of God can move hearts. If we understood the emptiness of the ones who are taught to hate those who embrace Christianity, who embrace Jesus, and who, no matter how much they are tortured, refuse to deny Christ, and show love and forgiveness to their tormentors, perhaps we can begin to understand God's love for all mankind. We can understand how He can change our hearts to those of love and compassion under the direst of circumstances towards those who persecute us. It is what Jesus modeled when He asked the Father to forgive them, because they did not know what they were doing. Only God can do that!

In his book Wurmbrand says that there are actually young Communists who have given their hearts to Jesus who continue to work as a Communists. One such report he provided reads:

"The Communist newspaper then described a 'savage' picture: "Young boys and girls sing spiritual hymns. They receive the ritual baptism and keep the evil, treacherous teaching of love toward the enemy." The article also stated that many young boys and girls who carry membership in the Communist Youth Organization are in reality Christians! It concluded with the words: 'How powerless must be the Community school, how boresome and deprived of light...that the pastors are able to snatch away its disciples from under the nose of their indifferent educators." 

Wurmbrand stated that: "The Communist newspapers bear witness to the fact that Christianity advanced among the youth!"

 I have mentioned the extreme hunger that the young people in America have, and because of their search for authenticity, for the truth of the Word, not "God gets you" messages that pat one on the back and never hold a sinner accountable for their sin. No, these young people, especially young men are running to churches that are alive in Christ, where they are learning, growing, transforming their lives, calling out for repentance and salvation. There are two churches right now where such revivals are ongoing. I can understand their need. I remain hungry for the Word of God. I  have an insatiable hunger, so I attend churches that teach the Bible, word by word, line by line, book by book. It is so wonderful to study this way, and apply it to what is happening today. The church needs to know how to explain what is happening today, on our streets, in our government, applying it to what God has said. It does not protect someone, because people need to know how to stand up for righteousness, for Jesus.

Wurmbrand had this to say about the Western church: "Whoever has known the spiritual beauty of the Underground Church cannot be satisfied anymore with the emptiness of some Western churches." Further he says, "I suffer in the West more than I suffered in a Communist jail because now I see with my  own eyes Western civilization dying."

I wept as I read his feelings about the modern church and their lack of concern about their fellow man who is being tortured, raped, viciously murdered for their faith, and the church does and says little. Such news is not reported, and if it is, it is sensationalized to benefit the one who writes it. There is little, if any true concern about martyrs, because the church has become dead to the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the message that Jesus told the disciples to go and preach to all the world. Wurmwood says of the church: "The West sleeps and must be awakened to see the plight of captive nations." But it has become so much worse than that.

I have spoken about antisemitism until I am blue in the face! Some hang their Jewish flags, but that is the extent of their action! Who is speaking out against it?! I have actually made myself physically ill listening to Sunday sermons online to see who, if any, of the local pastors mention Israel or even understands what is happening now in Iran. The only reason some speak out is because they hate our President, so this is a great opportunity to see what lies they can fabricate to get him removed from office. The man does not ever get a moment's rest from criticism and lies! No one is perfect, but God placed him in office, and it is dangerous to oppose a Holy God. The truth about our Judeo-Christian roots is not taught in the church or in universities or seminaries. Replacement Theology has taken root in the heart of the church. No one seems to understand that Jesus is King of the Jews. He is in fact a Jew Himself! The church has been blinded, just as Saul of Tarsus was blinded until the scales dropped from His eyes by his encounter with the Living Christ! We need a fresh encounter with the Living Christ!

Right now in some American cities, Islam has become the religion. Soon America will become a land of underground churches. In fact, it is a semblance of one. Without the online community I would not have a church. Covid was responsible for the growth of the online communities, and they have continued and have grown even more since the epidemic. Why are people choosing to remain in these online churches and not seek out the face to face fellowship with others? For many I realize it is convenience or laziness, because they don't have to get dressed or leave the house. I hate it when I cannot get out and at least sit in the same room with believers, even when they don't fully understand. I ask my online group that question all the time, as I encourage church attendance and becoming involved in the fellowship and outreach. Yet, I don't feel that I have found a home yet, but until I do, I will attend one where the word is read in context, line by line, book by book.

One day, soon I hope, the Lord will return for the remnant of the church, His Body of Christ, the church. Will we be found with our oil lamps lit and our lives that of the spotless bride?  

Day 102 Short Accounts

 

4/12/2026

"But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 

Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, 

always abounding in the work of the Lord, 

knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord."

   1 Corinthians 15:57-58

 

Once again a dream woke me up just as the alarm was supposed to go off this morning. This one seemed to be about self-indulgence, or at least I felt that it was. I dreamed about buying donuts, knowing full well that I am not supposed to eat gluten. They were four for a dollar, and besides, I thought about a cream filled donut, and I so wanted one. I can't remember what else I bought, except I did consider my son's favorite. It's interesting that there was a shortage of donuts, but I was lucky enough to find that white-creamed lard donut! But, as it turned out, I lost the donuts, so I didn't have the pleasure of consuming these delicacies and suffering afterwards. Why is it that we always want what is not good for us?! These past five weeks of dealing with this itching rash from whatever it was that I managed to get into should have taught me to stay away from anything that causes me discomfort. I also noticed that I have had a craving for candy! I don't generally keep chocolate candy around the house, as it's not good for me or Daniel. I guess it has to do with having control over something when I don't have any control over what is happening to me physically. But then what do I know. Fortunately, we didn't cave and buy candy. Although tomorrow is another day!

This morning I woke up with a rash on my face, so I felt it may be better not to attend church, not knowing what caused it. Hopefully, it's just from putting my hands on my face or rubbing my face into the pillowcase while I was sleeping. Tonight I'm going to put on a clean pillowcase, just to test it out. And when I pray, I'm going to try to keep my hands away from my face. I seem to have many bad habits, plus I have a bit of vanity in wanting my face to clear up before I go out. I promised my friend that I'd apply for my passport, so I really want to look my best. When I got my driver's license when I first moved back to Virginia, I was not prepared for the photo, subsequently, I looked like a ragamuffin with stringy hair and a "just that the photo" face. I am not very photogenic, but I look like a vagrant! At least I get smiles from anyone who sees it. 

Pastor Greg's message for this morning was called The Lord's Prayer, a model prayer given to the disciples by Jesus, as they wanted to know how he prayed when He went off into the hills to be alone with God. Each day I say this prayer as a corporate prayer for intercessors, including myself, my family, my friends, the nation's leaders and the world leaders. We have our priorities in prayer, but God knows what we truly need. I want my prayer to align with His will, certainly not mine. I memorized The Lord's Prayer as a child, but I have begun saying it daily as I meditate over each verse. I never want to do something routinely. I want every scripture to be considered appropriately. Later, when I watched Jesus Image's morning worship service, I learned that this prayer is not spoken in some churches, as some churches are uncomfortable saying it. I am not, and I cannot imagine a Christian who feels this way. So many things I never thought I'd see or hear are happening, just as the prophets foretold. It can become overwhelmed, especially if one relies on social media for news. It's hard to know what is real or imagined or fabricated by AI. The days are indeed wicked. This is why we must pray always and consult the Bible as the authority and source of all wisdom. James 1:5 says "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him."

This is indeed a time to seek the Lord while He may be found. Sitting at His feet, learning from the words that He speaks. Have a heart of forgiveness and extend mercy towards others, just as God extended great mercy and forgiveness upon us. 

Day 101 A Heart Like His

 

4/11/2026

“Spiritual work is taxing work, and men are loath to do it. 

Praying, true praying, costs an outlay of serious attention and of time, 

which flesh and blood do not relish.” 

E. M. Bounds 

 

This has been an exceptional Shabbat! After the global prayer call on Saturdays, I anxiously switch over to my online church, Jacob's Tent, but I guess it was canceled due to a flu outbreak that seems to plague the church, so I tuned into the Messianic synagogue in Richmond, Tikvat Israel. I've never taken the time to visit, but I do follow through weekly newsletters and special updates. I always receive the YouTube link to their service, but I've only tuned in one time. But today, I decided I'd listen in, and I am so glad that I did. I really like Rabbi David, as it is obvious that he has a close relationship with his church members and with the community. I haven't visited, because I love Jacob's Tent so much, but then as wonderful as it is, they are not local. This morning, Tikvat had a guest speaker, Randy Martinez from MAPS Global located in Richmond. Imagine that! But it gets better and more personal for me. This ministry understands what it means to go into all the world, beginning with your own community, and teach the Gospel to those in need of the only good word. This ministry has been right here, under my nose, and I didn't know it. Perhaps this is the answer to my prayer. 

When Randy began to speak, and his message was based on Matthew 9:35-38, I knew this message was for my ears. This scripture speaks of the compassion of Jesus:

"Then Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people. But when He saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd. Then He said to his disciples, 'The harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest.'"

Randy shared that the feeling that gripped Jesus when He looked at the crowd was gut wrenching, twisting Him up in literal knots in His guts, the feelings were so intense, because He saw their spiritual needs. He could see to the very core the true needs of this multitude, and He knew their needs were not being understood, nor realized. He said they were like sheep without a shepherd. The common reaction a person experiences to a truly needy person, is generally disgust pointing out the individual's obvious disrespect for their own appearance. Or it can be the smell a person may exude that is unpleasing. I had never thought about it until this moment, but perhaps this is one reason God had me travel this road as He was restoring me from my years of mistreatment and abandonment, by giving me jobs in caring for others. I remember as a health care supervisor my job was to schedule caregivers with the clients. There were some clients that were hard to staff, because of personality, location, or less than agreeable circumstances. In other words, the physical needs were too much to handle. Generally, those with some form of mental trauma tended to be challenging for some, but I learned even more about those unique opportunities when God graduated me to case management. I have witnessed people living in filthy conditions, and although the authorities knew, they did not correct the situation, so I had to provide for them the best care that I could. Often I was the one intervening. Fortunately also, there are many compassionate people who care for others, because I know it is not for the money. 

His three points that he made were about the worthiness of Jesus, Jesus' heart of compassion, and the anointing of Jesus. He spoke about the importance of true worship, not simply singing a few songs as a warm up to the sermon, but fully lingering in the presence of of a God who is worthy of praise and adoration. Sadly this is missing in most churches who think they're doing this, but the "feeling" soon leaves. Trust me, when in the presence, nothing else matters and time is irrelevant. All that matters is Him.

Jesus has a heart of compassion for the lost and broken. I have often spoken of asking God to break my heart for what breaks His, warning others not to pray it unless you're sincere, because He answers. Randy mentioned the same. Sitting before Him, waiting in His Presence, not simply praying a list of needs, but seeking His direction, asking Holy Spirit to speak. Believe me when I say many things grieve the heart of God. It begins with our own hearts. Repenting for seeking our own desires, or own ways of doing things. Surrendering afresh and truly asking Him to break our hearts, so there is none of us and all of Him.

Randy said that "you become what you behold," and this is so true. Things we think are important, things that take up our time when we should be focused on others. Seeking God for a fresh anointing for the harassed and helpless of this world. This extends to every nation, but particularly to those areas that are the least covered regions. Right now we have a war going on in Iran. The Middle East is one of those areas that is without Christ and in need of the Gospel message. I have shared before that Isaiah 19 speaks of the restoration of Egypt and the Assyrian nations with Israel. Iran is home to the largest and fastest growing underground church, even in war. God cares about the Muslims, and the Buddhists, and all peoples. And He tells us to go, witness, and lead all men to Christ. We need to pray for a heart of compassion, a love for others, as Jesus has for all men. Many times we don't even consider others, because many times the truth is not widely spread on secular news. 

Hearing this message today stirred my already stirred up heart. I care so much for the lost and dying world, and each day I pray and ask Abba to tell me what I am to do next. I am already 75 years of age, and I don't want to waste a single moment of my life out of His will. So this message rings true to my heart and my ears. I hope it does the same for others, because time is getting short. 

Day 100 He Came Once For All

 

4/10/2026

 "We now have this light shining in our hearts, 

but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. 

This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.” 

2 Corinthians 4:7 NLT

 

I awakened early this morning to find Alex in the kitchen, waiting by the door, wanting to be off on his morning tryst. He wasn't interested in food which leads me to believe he had already eaten earlier. No, Alex had bigger plans for his morning. Reluctantly, I opened the door and freed him, only to have him back at 7 am for his morning snack. He's been in and out all day, but so far he has not returned to spend the night. Cats definitely have minds of their own.

This morning the first person who came to mind was Jill, and her untimely death greatly disturbed me. Knowing she's with a great crowd of witnesses, in heaven, with her mom, should bring me peace, but the loss of mother, then daughter, has been very hard. I decided that I needed to get busy and see if I could muster the strength to clean to keep my mind from dwelling on this great sadness. Thankfully, I was able to vacuum and dust and scrub a couple of floors, not without events, but I did get the jobs done. I even vacuumed off my plush collection that sits along the top shelf of my bookcase. It was a good beginning. Now I just need to keep the momentum going.

As I was reading this morning, I happened upon a statement made by Dr. J Vernon McGee, who used to have a radio show call Thru the Bible. He had a monotone voice, rather high pitched, but pleasant with a country drawl. I used to love to hear him read through the Bible, then he'd explain the scriptures very clearly. The quote I read was this: "This is God's universe, and God does things His way. You may have a better way, but you don't have a universe." I imagine that statement stopped some people in their tracks. He was referring to man's idea of who a Savior should be. Sadly the church has much to do with people's mixed idea of why Jesus came and just what salvation includes. Even writing those words seems ridiculous to me, because it is blatantly obvious in the scriptures why Jesus left heaven to become man, so He could die a horrible death, to save us from our sins, so we wouldn't rot in hell, eternally separated from a God who loves us. After all, we didn't deserve this sacrifice. People have a hard time swallowing that truth too, but we are all sinners. Hebrews 9:27-28 puts it this way: "It is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment, so Christ was offered once to bear the sins of many. To those who eagerly wait for Him He will appear a second time, apart from sin, for salvation."

For me, that's great news! Knowing I can do nothing to earn salvation, but all I have to do is accept Christ's great sacrifice and surrender my life to God's perfect will. For me there is no better news, no better gift. I come empty-handed, in humility and with thanksgiving. The only treasure I need in this body is God's Spirit living within me, and the joy I feel is in sharing Him with others. Like I did with Jill and with her mom, and now they are enjoying His Presence with so many others. And although I'm here, waiting for my day to come, I want to continue to live daily in His Presence, listening for His leading, obedient to His word and His call.  

Day 99 Not What I Wanted

 

4/9/2026

"My heart is steadfast, O God,

my heart is steadfast; 

I will sing and give praise."

Psalm 57:7

 

I'm fighting to hold back the tears that I've been hiding inside all day. Each day I put on my smile that hides the deepest pain within my heart. I don't dare share my pain with anyone other than Jesus, because honestly He's the only one who can understand and respond in the appropriate way. He's the only one who truly knows me!  

This morning in the global prayer call we laid our feelings before the Lord, calling on His wisdom, recommitting ourselves to remain active as watchmen on the wall of Jerusalem. Today marked 916 days of daily prayer calls for Israel. We truly have witnessed countless answers to prayer and supernatural, divine intervention, and we fully realize that before all is said and done in this long battle, all men will come to the realization that only God could have done it! Only God is the one who can change the course of a nation. Throughout scripture this truth is repeated over and over and over again. Man can only do so much, but God will not share the glory with man. God alone receives the praise, honor, and glory!

This morning I was awakened by an unsettling dream, the meaning I still do not understand. I am reminded of a very cruel voice message I received from someone I love very much. It's not unique in that I have received so many messages like this, and things said to me directly. I know that the words are demonically inspired, but I feel so helpless to stop them, other than to separate myself for a season and devote the matter to prayer. The dream I had involved three newborn puppies, whose fates did not fare well, except possibly one. I pray for clarity if this dream is from the Lord. I know that I've been subjected to so many vicious attacks over the past four months that the enemy can also invade my dreams. I immediately remembered a time in my life when a little white kitten, who was blind, was used to torment me. But the dream unsettled me. I was able to worship and spend time with Abba, but I kept remembering and have been unable to fully put it to rest.

Later in the day I made a call to friend, and the conversation was interrupted several times by losing the call, because his phone needed to be charged. We persevered, and as he shared, I listened intently, as his words were so similar to what I am experiencing in my life. This brought some encouragement, as I mentioned previously, I do not talk to people easily. He challenged me to take a step of faith, as he had just done, to apply for a passport, so when, or if, the time comes, and God says "Go" I will be ready, as will he. Peter is an intercessor, like me, and he has been a spiritual father, for many years. He lives in Pagosa Springs, Colorado, and he lost his beloved wife Rebekah not too long ago. I know the loss is great for him, and it is also for me. I know she is safely in the arms of Jesus. That is our joy, but I know he really misses his handmaiden. I pray that I will be able to see Peter this side of heaven, but he is advancing in age way past me. What I realize more and more is that only God knows the length of our days. I shared with someone else today, who lost his wife also, that God must not be finished with us yet, as we remain behind. My only desire, other than seeing Jesus face to face, is to hear Him say, "Well done, My good and faithful servant," knowing that I completed the work He has for me to do. I believe we all feel that way.

After feeling better just for hearing from Peter, I decided to call my young friend, the daughter of my dear friend Irma who passed away shortly after I moved here in 2021. The circumstances were so disturbing that I do not go a day without remembering, the loss is still so great. Her daughter has been very close to me, and we have stayed in touch. Her birthday was the other day, and I hadn't heard back from her, so I tried to call her. She didn't answer my texts, so I was concerned. I finally called her dad, and I found out that Jill had passed away before Easter from pneumonia. Words cannot express the loss I feel. As I write these words, it's the first time I have been able to grieve. I loved her dearly, and although I could never take the place of her mother, she was like a daughter to me, and I knew that she loved me too. Her life had been one of many hurts, especially after losing her beloved husband, Jesse unexpectedly about ten years ago. But, in recent days she had been living life again, enjoying her children, the older a mother of two children. Her daughter Grace graduated last year, and her son may be graduating this year. I spoke to them not that long ago. I have such special memories, and I am grateful for those precious times, but the loss is more than I can bear at this time. I seem to be losing many people I love. 

We all have dreams. We all have hopes. I always wanted my children to have what I was denied, and I always supported their dreams. Sadly, I was not told certain things, and I cannot change what followed. But even if things happen in life, and our dreams seem to be over, I do believe with God all things are possible, and He can make a way where there seems to be no way. Scripture bears that truth. I hang on to that truth from His Word, because I hang on to my dreams. My life is not what I wanted for my myself, not what I had envisioned, but there is nothing I can do now except continue to take each step, each day, and live my life totally for Him.

So, I write, and I wait, and I learn from Him in the secret place. The closer I feel to Jesus, the more love I have for others, and the more I want to see them succeed in their lives. These turbulent days are so unsettling if one focuses on the negative, but if we put our trust in Jesus, and if we spend time in His Presence, we will be able to live in His peace and share this peace with others. That is a much better way to spend our days, as opposed to tearing each other down or listening to social media berate others. It's time to grow up and wise up and see the Lord while He may be found. He is the only truth! 

Day 98 By Faith

 

4/8/2026

"The same heat from the sun both hardens

the brick and melts the butter."  

Daily Walk

 

The weather has become so unpredictable, one day warm, the next much colder. It's also flu season, I understand, so I'm certain it is having a roller coaster effect on people, making them sick. It's interesting that although my immune system is compromised, I don't really get sick, or at least flu, colds or such. But I am still wrestling with whatever poison has attacked my body causing these rashes; it seems relentless. The good thing is that I am not scratching as much. I guess I'm getting used to the itching. That's a sad thought! I decided I'd take my chances and go outside and tackle some yard work. I can't hide forever, and whatever this malady is will eventually get out, or I sincerely hope so. Life sure can be fun!

I have discovered that Virginia has a Creeper! In fact it hides in bushes and trees, and it sneaks down to its unsuspecting prey and infects it with poisonous venom! It's a green five leaf vine that really infected my bushes by twisting and turning and attaching itself with vines that wrap around every twig and spreads underground. It's not as poisonous as poison ivy, oak, or sumac, but it can cause bad reactions in its victims. So this is one source of my problems, but it is not the thorn that stuck me, so that remains a mystery. Regardless, it is tenacious, and it will not go away. It is wearying, as any malady can be, but I am doing my best to get on with life, as much as I can.

I must admit that I've been having trouble focusing on writing today. It took some thought to get through yesterday's post, but once I began, it pieced itself together, at least as far I am concerned. I'm still asking Abba what it is I am supposed to be learning from all this isolation. My thoughts always go back to what we lost when we moved from Virginia to go the New Mexico, against God's timing. God is always true to His word, and today here I am, still picking up the pieces of lives, including my own, but He is with me. I don't understand, and I am beginning to realize that I don't need to know everything. I just need to trust Him. It's all He's asked of me, for the moment. James 1:2-4 gives us another perspective:

"Dear Brothers, is your life full of difficulties and temptations? Then be happy, for when the way is rough, your patience has a chance to grow. So let it grow, and don't try to squirm out of your problems. For when your patience is finally in full bloom, then you will be ready for anything, strong in character, full and complete." 

I always felt as if I was ready for anything, but then something happened. That's the way it goes. Confidence doesn't come easily, then when it does, the glow of the victory fades quickly. Is this my doing? Perhaps I didn't encourage myself enough. Did I become lazy and neglect the word? Did I not dwell in the secret place? Neither, thankfully, yet even so, there has been a quietness, and I know God's listening. I know He hears, and I know He listens. Miracles are everywhere, and each day is fresh and alive. All it takes is for me to open my heart, breathe deeply and enter into His Presence. All that is required is faith, the unwavering kind, even when an answer doesn't come: 

Hebrews 11:1-3, 6 AMP

"Now faith is the assurance (title deed, confirmation) of things hoped for (divinely guaranteed), and the evidence of things not seen [the conviction of their reality—faith comprehends as fact what cannot be experienced by the physical senses]. For by this [kind of] faith the men of old gained [divine] approval.By faith [that is, with an inherent trust and enduring confidence in the power, wisdom and goodness of God] we understand that the worlds (universe, ages) were framed and created [formed, put in order, and equipped for their intended purpose] by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things which are visible."

"But without faith it is impossible to [walk with God and] please Him, for whoever comes [near] to God must [necessarily] believe that God exists and that He rewards those who [earnestly and diligently] seek Him."

Having faith only requires me to obediently continue to heed God's counsel, follow Him step by step each day, and share the love of Christ with everyone. He also instructs us to love others, do good to everyone, especially to those who treat us wrongly. My calendar quotation for the day says: "I have resolved to pray more and pray always, to pray in all places where quietness inviteth, in the house, on the highway, and on the street; and to know no street or passage in this city that may not witness that I have not forgotten God." (Sir Thomas Browne).

Timely advice.