Day 119 Broken Things Can Be Restored

 

4/29/2026

 "You are my hiding place and my shield;

I hope in Your word."

Psalm 119:114

 

Feeling a little vulnerable today, but I'm not sure why?! I started praying this morning right off when I got up. I was talking to Abba about some new friends I've been praying for in North Carolina. What a story they have, and God so amazingly took a terrible illness and transformed the tragic circumstances into something so beautiful. The couple experienced great loss and endured great pain, and the road to rehabilitation has been long and arduous, but it is a testimony to the power of our miracle-working Father who is our healer, the God of the impossible. But for Him, nothing is impossible. 

I have another friend whose husband has been healing from head trauma from an accident, then, more recently, she had an accident and is dealing with a concussion from head trauma, and injury was sustained to the neck causing great nerve damage and severe pain. She's been trying to continue to work and be her husband's caregiver, but now she has been slowed down, and she is unable to do as much. Having gone through similar circumstances, I can understand very well what each is enduring, and it is not easy. I am so glad that they have each other, and she knows that there's someone who truly understands and is praying. 

 In thinking over my life and situations I've encountered  and the roads I've had to travel alone, the spirit of heaviness attempted to bring me down, but I have become more aware of his tactics, so I put on my praise and worship music and began to worship our Creator of Heaven and Earth. When the grief becomes too much to bear, put on a garment of praise.

I happened to come across a message by Billy Graham "Why You Must be Careful in Old Age." I mentioned this in a previous post, but, now, I remember Billy saying that we need to set boundaries, even with family members. As I was looking through my notes in my journal, I saw the words "help me know I'm not alone in this." I believe it was part of a message I received from my friend I mentioned above, and I understand what it means when someone does understand and can really put themselves in that person's shoes, because she's been there and can empathize. It makes the prayers more real, because you know the person praying for you can actually feel your physical pain and emotional trauma. I have felt very alone many times, because I don't really have Christian friends who can understand where I stand. I am blessed to have a few friends in a small prayer group, and although we may not always understand, we can feel comfortable sharing. We can laugh and cry together, and there's no shame. I am grateful for that.  

During the global prayer call for Israel this morning, our host for the day was the national director from Denmark. He was sharing with us about the restoration of Israel in the last days, when he changed his direction and said that he felt as if there may be someone in the group, in the livestream, who may be going through a difficult time feeling that they had failed in their life and ministry. As I was listening to Nick speak, I noticed that the conversation in the chat had stopped, and there was a message at the bottom and to the side saying the chat had been disabled. I thought that was strange, but with Zoom calls things happen. Besides, I was listening as I always do and seldom write in the chat. Then Nick began to speak saying he felt that someone on the chat needed to hear what he had to say. And when he spoke, I knew the message from God was for me. I do not believe in coincidence, and I had already spoken to God about things, written about it, received confirming scriptures, plus music, plus after the meeting was over, when I picked up my Daily Devotional for Spiritual Warfare which I do not read daily, when I turned to today's devotional it read "I Will Not Allow the Proud to Oppress You." WOW!! 

As Nick continued he said that there was someone who was sitting in shame and brokenness feeling that their life and ministry felt broken. Then he said "Your blessing will come to the righteous today." How could he know that I have been struggling with broken dreams again?! How could he know I was being oppressed by the devil?! Only God knows these things, and I had been crying out to God in prayer. Suddenly, the chat was moving again, and it was as if only I had been affected by what was happening. I quickly wrote a message thanking Nick, and I said that I needed to hear that message and word today. The message seemed to go unnoticed by anyone in the chat. Somehow I knew this moment was mine.

Prior to the meeting I had been finishing up the blog for 4/27 that I had started but fell asleep on the 27th and last night, so I needed to post it. The words Nick spoke regarding broken dreams were very similar to the words I had spoken to my son about him not giving up on his dreams. Coincidence? As I said before, my son doesn't believe in them either! I can tell that my son has been confused about God's ability to forgive and turn back to a person. So I pray for his eyes to be opened and the crooked places to be made straight. Surrender is difficult for some, but I can sense the deep need in a person's life when they cannot forgive, when they cannot go on, when they cannot dare to hope or trust. 

So many people are seeking peace in this world today, surrounded by evil that is of the vilest sort imaginable. It is my fervent prayer that when our nation is rededicated to God as One Nation Under God, that something will break, and victory can be won. The battle has been long, and the casualties many, but our hope is not in man, our hope is built on nothing else but Jesus' blood and righteousness. To God be the glory!

Day 118 Yeshua, I Need You

 

4/28/2026

"Nothing comes from nothing; nothing never could."

"Something Good" from The Sound of Music

  

Our monthly Harvest Bible study group prayer meeting was last night, and it was a good end to the day.  Mary leads the meeting, and tonight she began by sharing a Carman video from back in the day where he was singing and dancing as he shared seven words for praise in the Hebrew language: Hallel - to praise and celebrate; Yadah - worship and adore with lifting the hands; Towdah - offering a sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving; Shabach - to shout and be triumph; Barak - to kneel and adore God; Zamar - to sing and play musical instruments; and Tehillah - singing and praising God in hymns and spiritual songs. What a fun way to begin a prayer meeting, entering into His gates with thanksgiving and into His courts with praise! It brought back wonderful memories of Carman's ministry and concerts we were privileged to attend with the youth at the church when my children were young. Prayer meetings with my friends is the best way to end the day, especially when there is laughter.              

My morning began with worship, as it always does. It seems as if Alex, my wayward cat, seems to always show up just as I began to sing. He falls to sleep pretty quickly, and he does not demand my attention. This is my quiet time, so as long as he's a gentleman, it's okay. This morning as I read my daily Psalm I began to go over recent events in my life that have been causing me concern. I often think about the brevity of time and importance of relationships, and this morning I was asking God, as I do daily, to restore my family. So much has gone by the wayside, so my greatest desire is to see my children reconciled with their dad and each other. It is so sad to think that so many of my friends and acquaintances share the same prayer for their families. So we pray, and because this is a spiritual battle, we stand!

A song began to play, the lyrics speaking my heart: "Yeshua, I need you, more than words can ever say;  Yeshua, I need you. Every moment, every day be the flame within my soul, be the one who makes me whole; Yeshua, I need you."

As it turned out, this song was a great lead in to my Weekly Worship in my Daily Walk Bible, the subject -Looking Up from Down Under."  Sometimes I think God writes these verses and devotionals just for me. I don't believe in coincidences, only divine appointments, as there is just no way! This is my life. I cry out to Abba from the depth of my soul, and He hears me and answers. It's not always so quickly, but He answers, and He confirms, so the answers ripple. I love it!

The commentator noted that it's easy to become overwhelmed by foolish and sinful rebellion by people who profess to know God, but when we look at our own sinfulness, our difficult and dark times, we are brought much lower. I know personally that I don't want to let God down. I know that I am saved by grace, forgiven, but the memories never really leave, and I wish my life had been more God-honoring. I know the importance of examining our hearts daily, repenting when we slip or don't slip. Repentance is a good thing, a blessing, because it comes from a heart of worship, a heart that desires to be holy, live holy and close to God. Dwelling in His Presence and enjoying fellowship with Him daily. This is the life I live, the only life I want to live. It's the life I speak to my children about, and it's the one I teach about, my testimony of salvation and a life of surrender.

Looking at the Psalms of David we see that David was very transparent in his prayers to God. In Psalm 40 his faith perseveres during a heavy trial that brings him down into the depths of despair. What is characteristic of David's Psalms is although he may begin in a place of utter discouragement, suddenly he will make a change and begin to praise and worship the Shepherd of his soul. Psalm 40 is such an example. He starts in verses 1-4 by saying:

"I waited patiently for God to help me; then he listened and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out from the bog and the mire, and set my feet on a hard, firm path and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, of praises to our God. Now many will hear of the glorious things he did for me, and stand in awe before the Lord, and put their trust in Him. Many blessings are given to those who trust the Lord and have no confidence in those who are proud, or who trust in idols." 

The Lord heard David's cry for help, His ears are ever attentive to our cries. This is the way God poured His love out on Israel as they constantly rebelled about Him, because He loved them, He chose them. He does the same for those who call on Him out of a pure spirit and contrite heart. He will never abandon His children. May we call out to the Lord and say to Him as David said in verse 8: "And I delight to do Your will, my God, for Your law is written upon my heart!'"   

Day 117 This is the Day - Be GLAD!

 

4/27/2026

 "Make sure the things you are living for

are worth dying for."

Daily Walk

 

It's a new day, the sun is up, and we have survived the night! As unsettling as that may sound, it's a good thing to wake up and thank God for another day. But this day is special, because it's my baby boy's birthday, and he is half a century old. He's like me regarding the age thing! People always ask how we feel turning a certain age, but we don't feel differently, unless the weather has changed, and it stiffens the joints. For some, like Daniel, it's just another day, no change from yesterday except he may have received a few calls from family and friends, when generally the only ones who call are the pharmacy for medication pick up or a telemarketer. What he is saying may sound a little apathetic for the Christian mind set, but I get what he's saying. I understand, as the devil loves to make us feel forgotten or a waste of space. He's good at that game, but that's why we can't allow him to bring negativity into our lives. Each day brings new possibilities, so we focus on the good rather than the mundane or non existent things.

Each day has its own discoveries, we have learned, so we try to focus not on irksome moments, choosing to redirect back to happy plans! Pollyanna again! Think on a reason to be glad! Let me think, "play the 'Glad Game!' I'm glad, ecstatic really, that I have a son who cares about his ole mama, and he even enjoys going places with someone who wears a faded, floppy hat and wears outdated clothing! I'm glad that, although in his younger years he was rebellious, that his life is turning around, and he is seeing that just because the enemy tries to steal our joy and wreck our dreams, that our God is greater. Perhaps, he, like me, was told "you can't do that" or "we can't afford it" BUT, God can redeem the time and bring restoration, even if, even IF, his fingers are stiff and sore! The music is still there! And, nothing is impossible for God! We just need to put Him first in our lives, and we need to walk in His ways, not ours, and certainly not in the world's example. I am grateful, because I have a son who as a young child wanted more than anything to be in the presence of God and serve Him. He wanted to play anointed music for Him, but this boy's dreams were squandered on lies. Nonetheless, dreams can be resurrected! I know, because I am still working on my own. So play on, my son, and with all my love and the love of an Adoring Abba Father, you will fulfill your God-given purpose. I believe in you! And, God created you!

Playing games can be fun. We tend to play silly games around here, and we get a little goofy most of the time, but it keeps us sane and looking ahead, rather than bemoaning the what-ifs or why-me mentality! This week has been a bit distressing, with news we'd rather not hear, but kind of expected. I don't understand why things turn out that way. Maybe as a test to see how we handle situations that come our way - another's hurt, or realizing that what we'd hoped for (the best) didn't happen. What does it take to wake someone up, to have them realize that they are breaking the hearts of the ones they claim to love? My life has been different, and I have been criticized for really caring and caring too much! (The expletives were removed!) Can someone care too much?

I'm proud of my son's ability to put the past behind and go forward, even to the point of putting his feelings aside for another's sake. I'm so grateful to God for giving me two sons that do that, even though one may begrudge certain circumstances, but even so, he does the right thing, the honorable thing. I am grateful. I am extreme blessed and glad!

Day 116 What Do You Love?

 

4/26/2026

"For the eyes of the Lord search back and forth across the whole earth,

looking for people whose hearts are perfect toward Him, so He can

show His great power in helping them."  

2 Chronicles 16:9

 

It's interesting to me that each time I read through the Bible certain passages that I've read before many times seem to jump off the pages and fresh revelation comes. Reading the Bible is never dull, as there is always something new and life changing. Not too long ago I was reading about Solomon's dedication of the temple, and how the people gathered and worshiped for seven days after which time they returned home happy and well-fed. Plus Solomon sent them home with fig cakes and wine and other delicacies. Today I was reading about the life of King Jehoshaphat, son of Asa, who was a good king just as his son turned out to be. In fact, 2 Chronicles 15:17 says that "But here in Judah and Benjamin the heart of King Asa was perfect before God throughout his lifetime." That's a pretty good legacy to pass on to a son. 

In considering Jehoshaphat's life we read in 2 Chronicles 17:3-4, 6: "The Lord was with Jehoshaphat because he followed in the good footsteps of his father's early years, and did not worship idols. He obeyed the commandments of his father's God.... He boldly followed the paths of God...." When he was in the third year of his reign he began a nationwide religious education program, sending out top officials as teachers into the cities of Judah teaching them the Scriptures found in the Book of the Law of the Lord. Because of his efforts scripture says that the fear of the Lord fell on the surrounding kingdoms, and some Philistines and Arabs presented annual gifts and tributes to him, allowing him to build more fortresses and supply cities, thus adding to his strength. The commentary states that "His first love was not wealth, power, or any of the kingly trappings, it was a love of and a delight in the Lord." 

What's your first love? is the question that follows, and the question that we should all be asking ourselves daily. The Lord is constantly asking me to check my motives to ensure that they remain pure and never self-serving. It is so easy to fall into the trap of desiring pats on the back, recognition for something, especially if one has endured a lifetime of being put down, made to feel less, never quite measuring up in the eyes of another, or constantly being told that they are incapable of doing what their heart so aches to do. I understand these feelings, but I am grateful to my God who has delivered me from the snare of the chief of all liars who has attempted to keep me pressed down under the stronghold of guilt, shame, and insecurity. No longer do I allow his lies to determine the course of my life, and when I see that demonic liar attempting to bring another person down, I rise up in holy righteousness and shout "No longer! Thus far and no further, enemy!" If nothing else, I have learned under the teaching of Holy Spirit how to stand in the authority of Almighty God, and I will teach others the same.

In the study of the Revelation of Jesus Christ, the Apostle John shares the words of Jesus to the seven churches. These were actual churches during that time of early church history, and they serve as examples to the modern church, if we choose to learn from the scriptures, it applies to each church today who claim to follow the teachings of Jesus and the Holy Scriptures. Just as Jesus spoke to the church of Ephesus about their good works, and there were many, as they truly desired to follow Christ, so He said, "Nevertheless, I have this against you, that you have lost your first love." (Revelation 2:4)

Jesus is speaking to the pastor of this church, the leader who is the shepherd of the flock, just as today. He is saying in the verses that follow: "Remember, therefore, from where you have fallen; repent and do the first works, or else I will come to you quickly and remove your lampstand from its place, unless you repent." What Jesus is saying is for them to remember when they were brand new converts, how zealous they were for the things of God, sharing with each other, going out into the community to share the good news. They weren't concerned about building programs or increasing their ministries to build their own church membership. It was about the kingdom of God, not about a single church, but the church of Jesus Christ. Beloved, we have indeed lost our first love, and if we look at the other examples of the remaining six churches, if we are honest, we will see glimpses of the same compromises or incidence of self-absorption. Jesus says to the church at Ephesus that if they do not repent and return to Him as their first love, then He will remove their lampstand. A lamp stand brings light to an area, and we, as the Body of Christ, are to bring light, His Light, to a world that is dying in sin and lawlessness. We must be who He called us to be - salt and light. And we cannot fall into compromise of any nature, as many churches are doing now. We must live by the truth of the word. God loves everyone, and His desire is to see all saved, but as Romans 6 points out, we cannot continue to sin and expect grace to abound. If we love, as Jesus loves, as God loves, there can be no compromise. We all have sinned, but God has delivered us from our sinful nature, and He has turned our lives around so that we no longer want to be like that. We want to be transformed to the image of God.

It's time to think about what or who we love. It is time to truly make a course adjustment unless we fall into the depths of depravity along with others. We must be salt and light. We must choose our First and Only Love. Jesus Christ the Righteous.

Day 115 Faithful to the End

 

4/25/2026

"I have no greater joy than to hear

that my children walk in truth."

3 John 4  

 

The skies appeared troubled, as thunder rolled, rain began to fall, and lightning sent an occasional flash across the horizon. Seemed rather ominous in its approach, but colder weather was already announcing a change, a shift in the barometric pressure. The past two days have been much warmer, so naturally, since weather can be fickle, anything could happen. And so goes the spiritual battle in the heavens far above our vision, yet demonstrating caution as mother nature sends forth her cues.

So that was the way the day began. Another Shabbat with an unexpected twist or two, but then I should be used to those. I never liked change before, but I am learning that God demonstrates His great power in ways we would not understand, and nature seems to get people's attention. So I wait, in expectation, not worrying or even concerned, as I know that whatever befalls we have been prepared, because that's the way God does things. 

Today marked the last day of America Reads the Bible being held at the Museum of the Bible and hosted by Great American Pure Flix. Last night the day was finished off by actor, Dean Cain reading John 5. This morning was kicked off with worship by Marty Goetz and his daughter Misha, and reading began with John 6 and continued through the end of Revelation. Marty took his turn reading Romans 9 - 11, some of the most powerful chapters in the Bible explaining the plans God has for the future of Israel and our part as believers. Marty, as a Jewish Messianic believer was certainly the person to read this portion of scripture, especially since the church has been deceived by Replacement Theology. I spent most of the day listening as the Word of God was being read aloud by scheduled guests. It was a powerful day, and I hope it has made an impact on each person and ministry who participated in the reading as well as those of us who followed online. 

On May 17th our President will be rededicating our nation to One Nation Under God, and many will be gathered in Washington at the National Mall to commemorate this event. It's going to be a busy weekend, because there will also be a conference in California called Giant Slayer Conference, and Jack Hibbs will be speaking at this event. 

Last night a little before 8:30 pm I believe, in Washington DC at the Hilton Hotel, President Trump and his wife, Melania, along with members of his administration and friends, were in attendance at the Correspondent's Conference when a young man ran through the secret security guard area, firing shots, armed with a shot gun, hand gun and several knives. Fortunately, he was arrested and taken into custody for what was believed to be an attempt on our President's life. Investigation is still under way. The secret service man who was shot at close range, fortunately was wearing a good bullet proof vest that probably saved his life. The President was taken back to the White House where he immediately held a press conference.

Yesterday I was considering the brevity of time, and when things happen, as the unexpected event of last night in Washington, it makes the subject that much more concerning. Paul the Apostle chosen by Jesus Christ to take the gospel to the gentiles spoke of finishing well. Jesus spoke of counting the cost as His followers, and that those who follow Him, surrendering their lives to Him, must be serious, because He says the one who sets his hand to the plow and then turns back is not fit for the kingdom. I know how I feel and the response I have made, and I also know the cost I have paid for my life. But as much as I continue to check my motives, asking myself why I am doing this, I know that I do love Him, because He first loved me. And if I love Him with such a love, then my love for others will spontaneously overflow, making it much easier to persevere in these difficult days. 

Last night, after all of this, I was put to another test of what was most important to me, God or another. It was really silly, because if I hadn't cared I wouldn't have answered the phone. But still hurting people tend to take their anger out on someone else, because they feel helpless to confront the one who brought the hurt. I must be everyone's boxing bag, because I received a lot of back lash not of my making. 

In spite of everything that happened, and in spite of what may happen, I have decided that I will greet each day with gratitude, thanking my Abba for His gift of new life hidden in Christ Jesus my Lord, and I will sing and rejoice in it. In the evening as I fall into bed, again I will rejoice and be glad. There is always something good for which to say Thank You, Abba Father! for each breath and each new opportunity for the day! May we be found faithful when He returns.    

Day 114 Something Good

 

4/24/2026

 "...whereas you do not know what will happen tomorrow. 

For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away."

 James 4:14

 

For years I have kept a separate daily journal listing what I am thankful for each day, including calls I make and calls received from friends and family members who suddenly remembered that I live across the country or who'd stumbled over an old letter I'd written them that had been misplaced. It's always a thrill for me when someone remembers me, even as just a passing thought. I got an unexpected call from a friend saying she'd been to the Chile Cook Off in New Mexico, a regular annual benefit for the soup kitchen, and missed me. Three of us got together regularly for this event, judging the chili, or to eat or attend special events. I miss my friends and the things we used to do. 

I began keeping the daily list at the end of 2016. That's the year that the world turned upside down for me, but then I've had many such things happen throughout my life like that, but I'm still smiling. I wanted to put things down daily that I was grateful for, as a way to say "Thank You, Abba." I don't always show gratitude, but I want to do better. Plus I wanted to write down positive things that happened, because the world was getting so crazy. I needed to see something good. The top of each page looks like this:

 "Show me Something Good"

 "Thank You, Abba, for giving me another breath today! How will I use it?" 

 "Show me a sign for good that those who hate me may see it and be ashamed, 

because You, LORD, have helped me and comforted me."

Psalm 86:17 

I remember on Good Friday that year that, in my haste to get ready for work, I tripped and in an effort to keep from retrieving one more blow to my head, I reached out my arm to keep my head from hitting the corner of the door frame. That's when I heard a crack. All I remember is that it was extremely painful, so I laid down in the floor, and pulled my arm over my head to pop the shoulder back into place, thus relieving a little of the discomfort. I didn't see any bones sticking out or any bleeding out. There was a rather large patch of blood pooling under the skin, but I figured it was just going to bruise, so I finished getting dressed, with great difficulty, and I made my way across the house to my office. Trying to type and maintain my focus was difficult with all the pain, but I managed. 

Eventually I had to go to the doctor, because I had a four - to - six inch long by three inch wide area of under the skin bleeding that was not improving. Since doctors aren't allowed to do MRI's without a real good reason, my diagnosis went unnoticed until I had been tortured by a physical therapist who finally realized after several weeks... "You're not getting any better, are you?"As it turned out I had chipped off some shoulder bone, and I had mangled some ligaments and stuff in the arm. The surgeon felt that I would eventually need surgery, but I told him that God would fix me. He didn't believe me, but eventually after having the care of a specialized physical therapist, I improved, and I never needed surgery. 

This was also the year that one of my case management client's son tripped and fell slamming his head into mine, injuring my head, jaw, and neck. I didn't want a workman's comp case, but I managed to get one that wasn't settled until 2018, but the medical insurance remains open in case I need care. Since then I've had the noise in my head that I speak of often as bugs or woodsy night sounds, and I have pain that shoots through my temple into my eye. That's an additional pain to accompany the one from 1980 when I was attacked and hit with a 2x4 one night when someone came out from hiding behind my wood pile. That blow to the head was on the same side except on the top of my head, so the pain shoots down into the same eye. No one seems to be interested in that, plus my neurologist died from his own neurological issues and a broken heart from not being allowed to treat his patients. There are actually doctors who sincerely care about their patients, but insurance hinders their treatment. That's another topic to discuss at a later time. 

I have an aunt who is about ten years my senior. She recently celebrated her 86th birthday, and she said that she celebrated all week. I had shared with her about my 2007 Mercury Milan that I bought when I lost my 2017 Nissan Sentra in a recent accident, and she said she'd sold her car. It's hard for me to believe that she's already feeling that she's at an age where she no longer wants to drive, but then, I understand, especially since that man ran my son off the road without stopping to see if he was okay. At least she enjoyed her birthday. I used to celebrate my birthday for a week, shut down everything, toss the cell phone away, totally enjoying my time. Whenever I needed a break or just wanted to smell fresh mountain air, at a higher elevation than I lived, I'd make the trip through the pass to Taos and on to Sipapu Resort where I'd disappear for a few days. I miss those days, but I am grateful for the experience.

As my 76th birthday nears I have been thinking about things I need to do, just in case, and I also want to finish some things I've started. I don't know why, but as much as I love traveling, I don't have a desire to drive. Maybe my son's accident shook me up too much. He turns 50 on Monday, and he's already saying the same thing. He wants to go to New Mexico to see his kids, and I wish we could go together, but we have cats. If we drove we could take them along, but that may be a bit much for some family. But we'll figure it out. If for no other reason, since returning here to Virginia, I am seeing that life is shorter than we think, so it's important to tell the people you love that you love them, before one of us pass on. Relationships are so important, but many times, most times sadly, they are one-sided. I've discovered that. Everyone is busy, and life just isn't the same as it was when I was growing up, when the extended family was a tightly knit. How I miss those days. I guess I really haven't progressed as much as some of my cousins or friends, as I wouldn't even have a cell phone or computer if I didn't need one. But now everything is expected to be handled digitally. Sometimes I think progress is not really such a big deal. Physical contact is a more rewarding experience, even if people are still wearing masks. I don't get it, but I guess it's fear that keeps them from being free, breathing air. 

Tomorrow is another day, so maybe I'll reach out to someone, even if I only get a voice message. Gotta start some where!

Day 113 Time Well Spent

 

4/23/2026

 "Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend 

 a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit;' whereas you do not know what will 

  happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapor that appears 

                                                      for a little time and then vanishes away."                                             

 James 4:13-14

 

I've been thinking a lot about time and the brevity of it. The closer it gets to my birthday and another year, I wonder if I made the best use of the time given me thus far. In studying the life of Solomon and Rehoboam, his son, the commentary states that "Rehoboam followed the Lord only as long as it was politically expedient. Once his kingdom was solidly established, he had no further use for the law of the Lord - or the Lord of the law. But in the end, it was Rehoboam who was the loser for his foolish decision." The consequence of this decision was a divided kingdom with Jeroboam leading Israel and ten of the tribes, leaving Rehoboam with his tribe and Benjamin. The tribe of Judah did have a king on the throne of David as God covenanted with David, until Judah was exiled to Babylon. In this line of David there were mostly good kings as opposed to all evil kings who reigned in Israel, turning from God to the worship of idols. Although Rehoboam repented and cried out to the Lord, he was not completely destroyed, but he was an evil king who never decided to fully trust in God. His son, Abijah became the next king, and he too did evil in the eyes of the Lord. 

The commentary poses a little query:

"Think of your life as a shiny new penny. You can spend it any way you wish, but you can only spend it once. And you cannot spend half a penny - it's an 'all or nothing' transaction. Find a penny and hold it in your hand as you talk to God about your life...and how you will invest the remaining years of it in his service."

Our study group tonight looked at the scriptures found in Luke 12:1-48 and asked the question "What owns you?" We discussed how fear could quietly control our lives, taking different positions from earliest childhood fears to those we encounter in later years, that keep us stuck in cycles. I fully understand how to be dragged around and sucked down into a rabbit hole of guilt and shame for literal years, living in fear of never accomplishing my dreams, afraid to even have a dream. I felt as if I would never be good enough after all my failures. The Lord was blessing me, but I knew I wasn't worthy. Every time I tried to go forward, I'd be knocked down and trampled on for affect by trusted people in my life. I laugh about it now, because I've always been a person who persevered and kept body and soul together. Life has a way of preparing us for the next step and then the next. The pity would be never having taken those steps.

Pastor Jonathan pointed out that:

"Jesus redirects our focus away from fearing people and toward reverence for God. Not a fear that pushes us away, but one that rightly centers our lives on Him. When we understand His authority and His care, down to knowing every detail about us, it frees us from living for the approval of others and anchors us in what actually matters." 

The next consideration was hypocrisy that spreads when faith becomes performance - checking off boxes of things that we feel make us look good, like good little Christian examples, but it's all a show, a lie. There are no boxes to check that qualify us for the kingdom of God. There's only Jesus. His blood washes us clean. That's it!

Often we become consumed with having, and our focus is on accumulating wealth, possessions, recognition, and our priorities become all mixed up, and we can even lose our identity. We lose focus and turn our affections to worldly things, but Jesus says for us to "seek first the kingdom of God, and all these things will be added to you" (Luke 12:31). Matthew 6:19-21 says, “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

Then there's the subtle trap of thinking that we have so much time, but really we are not promised tomorrow, only today. We are to live without fear, trusting Him, with clarity and purpose, knowing that our deeds reflect what's truly in our hearts. Living for today, in God's way. There's a saying that is attributed to John Wesley, but I have also seen it as a quote from Mother Teresa. Both great examples of living the purpose driven life. "Do all the good you can, by all the means you can, in all the ways you can, in all the places you can, at all the times you can, to all the people you can, as long as ever you can."

May this be the focus and intent of our hearts.