Day 123 What Fuels Your Christian Life?

 

5/4/2026 

"Mission flows from intimacy"

Fred Weymouth

 

Yesterday I decided to attend services at my sister's church, which I used to do quite often before some changes turned things around. When I walked into the back door I was greeted by friends who seem to genuinely appreciate my being there. I felt as if I was "home." When I strolled into the sanctuary, making my way to the back, greeting old friends, my sister was surprised to see me, as I had not mentioned that I was going to come. I love surprising people and hopefully making them happy. This is the first time I've ventured this far since my son's accident in early December. My Nissan Sentra didn't make it, so I acquired an older Mercury Milan, and it has taken time to adjust to an American car made from metal. The trunk is so heavy that it takes some effort to get it up and down. My dad would love this car, and I know that he is smiling from heaven! Nonetheless, and back to my story, I decided at the last minute to hop in the car and attend services. I am so glad that I did.

Pastor Ken announced that they had a guest speaker for the day, and I was pleased to hear that it was Pastor Fred Weymouth from The Fix Ministry located in Tappahannock, Virginia, an outreach for those who are struggling with drug abuse and other addictions in their lives:

"The purpose of The Fix Ministry is to save lives. We show men & women how to change their lives by furthering their relationship with Jesus Christ along with their education in the areas of social and biblical studies. This, along with our vocational and in-action discipleship training properly prepares them for a future in the job market or ministry as well as general self-sufficiency."

My sister had been telling me about Pastor Fred and this ministry for a while now, as she felt that it may be something helpful for son who suffers from guilt and shame of past drug and alcohol addiction, and the local church ministries have not been able to help him, sadly. He felt condemned and unsupported, and even when he shared his testimony with those trapped in the same sins, he was accosted by someone in the group, and the pastor and other group leader, along with my son, did not assist or provide support to my son or silence the offender, so he eventually stopped trying to offer help to others. In seeking out support groups and pastors or lay people to walk beside and help my son, I realized that the needs are not going to be addressed by those who have never walked in the same shoes. My son was once a very strong Christian, but things happened in his life, bringing discouragement, and his friends were unable to help him and could not understand, so he found new friends who taught him a way to cope with hurtful and traumatic situations. But the entire fault can not be placed on the church, as he did not receive the compassion and understanding from his dad, and although he talked to me about some feelings he had, I did not realize things he wasn't telling me, things he was told not to share with me, things he kept secret. 

Watching my family suffer and working with at risk kids and all ages with mental health conditions and abusive behaviors in my work, has opened my eyes to the great needs that exist today. And in my walk with the Lord, I see how poorly the church has been equipped to walk beside those in need. Church youth groups and field trips or camps will not reach someone who cannot relate to the others in the group who have never had these experiences. That's why I appreciate the ministry of The Fix, because Pastor Fred has walked this walk, and he has found that that Jesus is the only true "fix" for our sins.

The scripture he shared was found in Luke 4:16-19 where Jesus ministers in Nazareth:

"So He came to Nazareth, where He had been brought up, and as His custom was, He went into the synagogue on the Sabbath day, and stood up to read. And He was handed the book of the prophet Isaiah. And when He had opened the book, He found the place where it was written: 'The Spirit of the LORD is upon Me, because He has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent Me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed; to proclaim the acceptable year of the LORD.'"

After reading this, Jesus sits down, and in response to everyone's inquiring gaze, He added: "Today this Scripture is fulfilled in your hearing." 

One of Fred's opening remarks was "Mission flows from intimacy." In order to have the compassion, the heart for missionary work, especially in the darkness found on the streets, you must have an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ. And you can only develop this deep love and respect for Christ if you spend time in the secret place. Our love for others is the "overflow of union with Christ." Another thing he shared, and I have come to understand this deeply is that heaven or salvation is for those who know they deserve hell. Without grace, without belief in and acceptance of Jesus and His blood shed for us, for me, we would be destined for hell. Fred knows this, I know this, and every disciple of Christ should know this reality. The proud that fill our churches have not come to that realization I am afraid. Heaven will be filled with sinners saved by grace, saved from messy lives. Because we know what Christ did for each of us, our love for the lost is fueled by that desperate need to tell others about Christ. We talk about what and who we love. Charles Spurgeon said this:

"If sinners be damned, at least let them leap to Hell over our dead bodies. And if they perish, let them perish with our arms wrapped about their knees, imploring them to stay. If Hell must be filled, let it be filled in the teeth of our exertions, and let not one go unwarned and unprayed for." 

What fuels your life? 

Day 122 Cleansing Hearts

 

5/3/2026

"Let us hold fast the confession of our hope 

without wavering, for He who promised

is faithful."

Hebrews 10:23  

 

Reinhard Bonnke, a German evangelist, was an enthusiastic intercessor who was determined to see Africa saved. He said that when he first started to pray about Africa years ago and speak of the country in his crusades, people thought he was crazy, but no one is beyond being saved. Today, Nigeria alone is one of the largest Christian nations in the continent of Africa, and they are the most heavily persecuted. I was listening to a message of Bonnke's today, and he mentioned Africa, but since he was in an America, in the State of Florida, at the time this event was filmed, he was claiming that all of America would be saved. Although he is no longer with us, I will continue in his stead and say that all of America will be saved. I'm a lover of Africa myself, as I've spoken about often, and I also love Israel. I know all of Israel will be saved, because God said so, and He's not a man, so He does not lie or exaggerate. I know He wants all to come to salvation, so I think it's safe to say that would include all of America and every country in this world to be saved, sharing the love of Christ. It's our mission - our "Samaria" and the uttermost parts of the earth.

I admit that these days I have felt as if I'm holding on by the fingertips some days, and my fingernails are breaking, and I'm losing my grip! But even so, I'll still be praying if I happen to fall off the edge. If Paul the Apostle could revive Eutychus (Acts 20:7-12), who fell out of the window asleep while Paul was preaching and died, I'm sure an angel will catch me and bear me up, so I won't crash. Many times I'm sitting here praying over the new requests and news that is pouring into my email or text messages, and I have actually fallen asleep praying. That sounds horrible, but I assure you it is not from boredom, it is sheer exhaustion. But, I'm easily revived, most of the time, and I wake up still praying. If not, God sends Alex to the window meowing to get in or else he jumps up onto me while I'm asleep when my son lets him in. He does not like to miss a meal or feel ignored or left out in any way. I am just not a cat person, but the Lord is still trying to win me over to these endearing fuzzy critters, and sometimes, as in waking me up at the right time, he is helpful. So, yes, Lord, I am grateful for my demanding, fuzzy Alex!

Bonnke was preaching about the blood of Jesus in a short video clip I saw the other day. We are the righteousness of God ONLY through the blood of Jesus Christ according to 2 Corinthians 5:21. Before going into the Holy Place, the High Priest had to be cleansed with the blood for his consecration. The blood was applied to his right ear lobe for sanctified hearing; to his right thumb for sanctified service; and right large toe for sanctified walking. Leviticus 17:11 reminds us that the life is in the blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sins (Hebrews 9:22). The High Priest could not go behind the veil until his sins were covered by the blood, or else he would die. He was only allowed to enter the Holiest Place on the Day of Atonement which was once a year for all the sins of the people of Israel. The High Priest used the blood of animals for the sacrifice, but Jesus poured out His own blood for our atonement. Jesus is our Great High Priest, and when He died on the cross, the veil in the temple was torn in two. Now He is seated at the right hand of our Father God, where He makes intercession for us. We no longer have to shed the blood of an animal, because when He took all our sins on Himself in His death on the cross, shedding His perfect blood for all, it was finished! 

When we think about how God had all this planned before the foundation of the world, knowing that Jesus left His seat in glory to come to earth, be born as a baby, so He could live as we live, suffer as we do, and be tempted as we are YET without sin, it is too wonderful to imagine. God loves us so much.

I'm still making my way through Andrew Murray's book The Holiest of All, a bite at a time. I guess I'm following in the footsteps of Pastor Jack Hibbs, as it often takes him years to complete a series on one book of the Bible. I love that way of teaching, as many people do not read the Bible, and if they do, they don't understand it. In Hebrews, Chapter 10, after it speaks of the insufficiency of animal sacrifices, the author tells us to hold fast to our confession of faith:

"Therefore, brethren, having boldness to enter the Holiest by the blood of Jesus, by a new and living way which He consecrated for us, through the veil, that is, His flesh, and having a High priest over the house of God, let us draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith, having our hearts sprinkled from an evil conscience and our bodies washed with pure water. Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful. And let us consider one another in order to stir up love and good works, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as is the manner of some, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching."  (Hebrews 10:19-25).

Andrew Murray points out that "A true heart - a heart sprinkled; you see everything depends upon the heart. God can do nothing for us from without, only by what He can put into the heart. Of all that Jesus is and does as High Priest in heaven I cannot have the least experience, but as it is revealed in the heart. The whole work of the Holy Spirit is in the heart. Let us draw nigh with a true heart, a sprinkled heart, our inmost being entirely and unceasingly under the heavenly power of the blood." 

Because of Jesus Christ we can come boldly to the throne of grace, with pure hearts, washed in the water, washed in the blood. Bonnke knew this. 

Day 121 What's Worth Fighting For?

 

5/2/2026

 "For the Christian, this world is an arena,

not an armchair."

Daily Walk

 

Popcorn sounds like a good idea to me right about now! Hot air popped to perfection, very little butter, and a lot of salt. I can see faces cringe, but salt is actually very beneficial to me. I lived with migraines for fifty-seven years, and later on in life I learned that salt actually helped me get some relief. A few sips of Dr. Pepper and slowly dissolving Lays Potato Chips in my mouth, availing myself of the salty content. A swig of the doctor and holding a salted chip in my mouth brought a short time of respite, and other times, it calmed the tension right down so I could sleep. I don't like to make a habit of drinking Dr. Pepper with high fructose corn syrup as the main ingredient, but in such times, such dire straights, why not give it a go?! Oddly, my closest friend uses the same trick. What are the chances, because we seem so vastly different in personalities. It has to be our love for others, as she certainly has been here for me whenever I needed her. It's a bit harder now with two thousand miles separating us, but there is always the telephone.

Aside from stuffing myself with popcorn and enjoying Mexican Coke with real sugar, plus a few Junior Mints, I enjoyed another episode of The House of David, now streaming on Prime. Although it deviates from the scriptures a bit, it is quite good, and I recommend it, if you can tolerate bloody battles, very graphic in some details. When Samuel the prophet killed Agag, who just happened to be an Amalekite, whom King Saul did not kill, Samuel hacked him to pieces which the Scripture confirms in 1 Samuel 15:33. God told King Saul not to spare anyone or anything in that battle, but he did not listen. This and another incident following caused him to lose his kingdom. The second season begins after David kills Goliath and enters the service of King Saul, although he has already lost his anointing, and David has been secretively anointed as the next king by Samuel. Life has always been complicated, and if you have never read the Bible, you are missing out on a true adventure, and the story continues today. But, unlike most stories, we know how this one ends! Hallelujah!!

I'm still reading about Ezra's journey back to Jerusalem to restore the temple of God. As always happens, there's someone who opposes what is being done to make things better or bring improvements. The country had been laid waste, the gates and temple destroyed in Jerusalem by King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon, and the people of Judah hauled off in exile, leaving only a few poor people and others transplanted by the Babylonians in the area. Nothing had been restored during this time, as Zerubbabel and his entourage were the first to return to the land of Israel. In all there were seventy years of exile for the people, so the land rested. The commentary states that Zerubbabel knew that they were on divine assignment from God, using King Cyrus of Persia, so any offers from the enemies of the land to help were not accepted. This did not bode well for them, therefore, the work on the temple was delayed for fifteen years as the people in the land opposed them, by writing to the King of Persia. Over time, perseverance in writing the kings of Persia, who checked through the records, plus the encouragement of two prophets of God, helped to clear things up and speed things up. When the enemies were told not to interfered, threatened by the king, and told to back off and to help with the cost out of the Persian coffers, the work was completed quickly, followed by another national celebration. 

Sometimes we have to stand up for what is right, and many times, as we've witnessed in our nation, it takes an inordinate amount of time to get things done, wasted time. But it seems as if no one really wants to rock the boat except for a few bold, courageous people who sign briefs and even a few pastors who instruct their flock about what is going on, rather than allowing them to sit comfortably on their pews knowing God is in control, and they are not to worry or be concerned. Well, I'm not one of those people, because I read my Bible, and I know what it says we are to be doing. I align with those few people, but it is getting to be risky to speak out, and that scares people. I never thought I'd live in a country, whose pledge of allegiance is One Nation Under God, and witness that this is not the feeling of the majority. Thankfully our President wants to correct that sentiment, and I am grateful. 

The commentator in my study of Ezra asks the reader to make a list of five or more things we considered worth fighting for today. Perhaps off the top of our heads most may say "family, faith, country" as starters. Zerubbabel and his company were faced with a decision, and they were willing to give their lives to defend their freedom. The same thing is happening today as Israel continues to fight for the freedom to exist, a right God gave them, but many critics disagree. If they read their Bible they would know, but then, many pastors and believers do not understand what the Bible teaches when it comes to Israel. They have been deceived into believing that since the Jewish people did not accept Jesus as Messiah that Jesus replaced them with the Church. How absurd a notion when the scripture so clearly states the opposite. This shows how easily people, even leaders, even theologians can be deceived and deceive others. This is happening in our government, and not just about Israel. 

I'm only one person, and I know that God has called me to be an intercessor - actually He calls everyone, but few want to do it, because there's a heavy price to pay. He has also called me to write, so this blog for now is my avenue, as well as the letters I write to government leaders, and forms I sign. Facebook is my podium for getting the word out, as well as evangelism and spreading the Good News with messages from pastors I support and music that honors and lifts up the Name of Jesus. I support missions, and I love helping my community. Although I don't really have a local church that I call home - yet, I do attend a local church, plus I attend my online Messianic Jewish-Christian church and others. I'm a Saturday and Sunday follower of Christ. The services I freely share, because the messages and lessons are well-taught. I love Jesus, and I can't think of a better way to spend my time than to talk about Him and sit in His Presence. My sister says I should be an evangelist, and who knows, maybe I am. But I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, because He is life!

So, what do you think is worth fighting for? Time is getting short, so it's time to choose! Don't be left behind!

Day 120 Proving Ground

 

5/1/2026

 "God does not call the equipped, 

He equips the called."

 

So many voices! I feel as if I am going to implode if I don't find a quiet place where there is NO NOISE! By that, I mean the continual aggravation of phones ringing, text messages dinging, or endless commercials and advertisements when I finally get a moment to watch a video. Life has many moving parts. 

I am so thankful to God for the education He provided for me in my younger years and the older ones. When I was very young all I dreamed of doing was helping others. If a missionary spoke at the church, I could hardly wait until I became old enough to trek off into the wilds and lead people living on the backside of the desert in nomadic villages to faith in Christ Jesus. I'd read books and dream, and then I read Burma Surgeon, and I wanted to go to medical school and then make my journey off to the other side of the world where I could tangibly help people while teaching them about Jesus. So far, I have only been as far as Belize back in 1986 for a summer Vacation Bible School trip into the rain forest with the Mayan Indians. That was before a passport was required to go to Central America, so at least I got to do something. It was a wonderful experience, but that is where my traveling far and wide ended...for now! I promised my friend recently that I'd get a passport, so I'd be ready when God said "Go!" So far I haven't kept that promise, but I will. How can I not?!

Life certainly has a way of coming full circle, though, and it works when God is the master planner. I've written about how I arrived in Northern New Mexico in 1987 when my husband defied the perfect will of God, bought an existing Hallmark Store, and moved us to Las Vegas, New Mexico, 1900 miles away from my family. I spent thirty-five years in northern New Mexico moving around, most of it alone, with my adult children in three different states. I miss my friends, and I miss the people and the culture that I grew to love so much. Since coming home to Virginia almost five years ago, I've reunited with some friends and family, of course, but I've also watched family and close friends die. I know I was meant to move back here, purchase my parent's home, and hopefully get it back to looking better. So far I have a new roof and a new stove. I have managed to get some wicked Virginia Creeper out of the crepe myrtle trees and bushes, but it is tenacious, so I can't turn my back it grows so fast. But with a home there will always be something to do inside and out. Thankfully, I have my younger son to help me, but he's been through some health challenges, so he has good days and bad. Good thing I remain an energizer bunny...most days. Here lately, though I've slowed down, but I feel that motivation may be on the rise.

When I said that I was glad God had given me a college education as well as an amazing set of careers in the work place, I said so because the biology degree and research techniques I learned are beginning to pay off. It's truly inspiring that I have managed to remember so much of my research methods and about the human cell. Still, many years have passed by, but I do remember how to search for what I need to know. I'm even considering drawing the cellular study guides from my research. I know that may sound a little weird, but then I'm a person who visualizes chemical equations in my head. Scary!! I even have a bit of Dr. House in me, as I see body structures. I don't travel down the body like his images in the series portray, but I do visualize the muscles and bones, and cellular make up, musculature and nervous system. I owe any knowledge I have to God, who has stuck with me since before I was born, and He continues to groom and teach me through the power of Holy Spirit. I am blessed! I have so far to go, so much still to learn. Of course my main passion is God's Holy Word, and I enjoy dissecting that as well. 

I'm not sure how all God's plans for my life will pan out yet, but I do get very encouraged when I read my Bible about the Kings of Judah and now I am in the days of the exile when God uses King Cyrus, the Persian king to send His people home to Jerusalem to rebuild the temple on his dime! The story begins in the book of Ezra, but it was prophesied by the prophet Isaiah two hundred years in advance of the actual occurrence in Isaiah 44:28. There were 50,000 Jews who responded to Cyrus' decree and accompanied Zerubbabel, whom Cyrus chose to lead them, back to Jerusalem. The very first thing they did when they arrived home was to praise and worship God! They didn't have any blueprints or building materials, but included among those returning home were priests, carpenters, masons, and common people all called by God to complete a project He had ordained two hundred years in advance using a heathen king in a foreign country where He had exiled them for their evil ways for seventy years, which was also prophesied through Jeremiah the prophet and confirmed in a vision by Daniel. And today we get to see prophesy written throughout the Bible come to life before our very eyes. These are wonderful years to be alive, participating in God's restoration of Israel, using America as an ally for His chosen people.

But many do not see it. Even the church has become blind to the truth of the Bible, but nonetheless God will have His way. Sometimes I wonder why God called me back to Virginia, as I feel so all alone many times, but perhaps that is where I can listen and learn. I've spent most of my life on the back burner, in the desert or valley, and the times I did make it up the mountain to the summit, were short lived. I learn better in the valley, but the scene from up high is breathtaking! But, as long as He's with me in the valley, I can take it. Because He's with me, I know that things will work out, and until He tells me differently I'll just keep doing the last thing, and I'll trust Him with the rest. 

Day 120 Afraid to Speak?

 

4/30/2026 

"A lie can travel halfway around the world while

the truth is putting on its shoes."

Charles Spurgeon  

 

My trick to avoid distractions when I turn on my computer for worship music first thing in the morning  has been by using my cell phone music app instead of YouTube on my laptop. This way I can avoid the algorithms of podcasts, sermons or prevent any undue scrolling, so I can focus on quiet time and sidestep  distractions. It's been working better for me, helping me avoid the "shorts" and annoying advertisements, however, it didn't quite work this morning. Somehow, I believe that God wanted me to see this sermon clip by Derek Prince sharing how to take authority over demonic spirits that tend to sneak their way into our minds, causing depression, confusion, weariness, and a list of uneasy responses that can become disastrous if left unchecked. It drew my attention, because I had been crying out to the Lord for help in dealing with a situation I am facing with someone close to me. It becomes disheartening feeling helpless in certain cases, especially like this one.

A good friend whom you can trust with anything, because you know that as horrible as things may be, that friend will still love you and will stick beside you. But then, sometimes the best thing you can do is step aside, because you cannot continue to condone certain behaviors, and if you continue to listen and remain silent, it can be misinterpreted as agreement. I have learned over time that nothing is gained by listening to the same set of arguments over and over, unless that person is willing to settle it outright, by going directly to the one who has offended. Harboring grudges doesn't help, and bringing in other people only feeds the grudge. I believe what scripture says about forgiveness, and in listening to Derek Prince's video, I understand a bit better that the enemy part in it all. No one likes to hear the word "deliverance" voiced, but honestly, this is exactly what it comes down to, if victory is to be grasped. Jesus gave us authority, but sadly this is another one of those subjects the church leaves untouched. 

I have never been one to listen to news stations, and especially now with all the bias, confusion, and outright lies and ugliness that lead to social unrest and wrongs committed, and often violent behavior, involving already unstable persons. Quite frankly, I believe many of these situations are planned or staged, making it a worse crime by people in positions of authority. But this seems to be the norm, and it seems to be what people want to see and hear. People feed on it! When did truth and common sense stop being what people want to know? We have certainly lost our way in America, but then, it is not just America, as the hatred in the world grows daily. 

After the third assassination attempt on our President's life, there were ugly and vile comments made that should sicken the heart of any person. Words no decent person should ever speak at the expense of another. When did this become funny? or entertaining? And yet, every day people will tune it or sit up late to hear this irreverent garbage. The worse part is that much of it comes from the mouths of professing Christians or governmental leaders. Social media is the chosen method of spewing lies and conspiracies. 

The church remains silent on most issues, but I feel that all people should be educated as to what is going on and the proper way to deal with it. Jesus made it very simple in His teachings what is required of His followers. Death to self, surrendering to Him, is the requirement for a follower of Christ. When we die to self, we lose our opinions, and we take on His view. We become like Him and we learn to live for Him. We become salt and light in this world, but first, in our homes. I believe that many pastors and church leaders are afraid to speak up for what they believe, because they are afraid of what may happen or what they may lose. Jesus and the disciples gave us a glimpse of what could happen, but I do not see this example in many churches, and so far none locally. Jesus said we are to occupy until He returns to take us home. We are to make a difference in this world. We cannot hide from it. That is not love, and Jesus called us to love one another. 

Jesus told his disciples what was in come, and the Apostle Paul and the disciples continued to warn us in the epistles. From Genesis to Revelation we are instructed about life, and yet, no one seems to have read the whole counsel of the Word of God, or they have forgotten. In the book of Revelation Jesus has the final say. He is returning for His Church which is to be spotless and holy. We are failing in this regard when we do not speak up and out for the Gospel message. In Revelation 21:6-8 says:

"And He said to me, 'It is done! I am the Alpha and Omega, the Beginning and the End. I will give of the fountain of the water of life freely to him who thirsts. He who overcomes shall inherit all things, and I will be his God and he shall be My son. But the cowardly, unbelieving, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the second death.'" 

This is a pretty chilling warning to The Revelation, and I do not want to be included in that terrible list, especially not cowardly. We cannot be afraid to speak up and help people understand what is true, what is relevant, and mostly share the Gospel of Jesus Christ to a sinful, lawless world who insists that hatred of others and murder of innocents is justified. May we repent and seek the mercy of a Holy God while there is still time.

 

Day 119 Broken Things Can Be Restored

 

4/29/2026

 "You are my hiding place and my shield;

I hope in Your word."

Psalm 119:114

 

Feeling a little vulnerable today, but I'm not sure why?! I started praying this morning right off when I got up. I was talking to Abba about some new friends I've been praying for in North Carolina. What a story they have, and God so amazingly took a terrible illness and transformed the tragic circumstances into something so beautiful. The couple experienced great loss and endured great pain, and the road to rehabilitation has been long and arduous, but it is a testimony to the power of our miracle-working Father who is our healer, the God of the impossible. But for Him, nothing is impossible. 

I have another friend whose husband has been healing from head trauma from an accident, then, more recently, she had an accident and is dealing with a concussion from head trauma, and injury was sustained to the neck causing great nerve damage and severe pain. She's been trying to continue to work and be her husband's caregiver, but now she has been slowed down, and she is unable to do as much. Having gone through similar circumstances, I can understand very well what each is enduring, and it is not easy. I am so glad that they have each other, and she knows that there's someone who truly understands and is praying. 

 In thinking over my life and situations I've encountered  and the roads I've had to travel alone, the spirit of heaviness attempted to bring me down, but I have become more aware of his tactics, so I put on my praise and worship music and began to worship our Creator of Heaven and Earth. When the grief becomes too much to bear, put on a garment of praise.

I happened to come across a message by Billy Graham "Why You Must be Careful in Old Age." I mentioned this in a previous post, but, now, I remember Billy saying that we need to set boundaries, even with family members. As I was looking through my notes in my journal, I saw the words "help me know I'm not alone in this." I believe it was part of a message I received from my friend I mentioned above, and I understand what it means when someone does understand and can really put themselves in that person's shoes, because she's been there and can empathize. It makes the prayers more real, because you know the person praying for you can actually feel your physical pain and emotional trauma. I have felt very alone many times, because I don't really have Christian friends who can understand where I stand. I am blessed to have a few friends in a small prayer group, and although we may not always understand, we can feel comfortable sharing. We can laugh and cry together, and there's no shame. I am grateful for that.  

During the global prayer call for Israel this morning, our host for the day was the national director from Denmark. He was sharing with us about the restoration of Israel in the last days, when he changed his direction and said that he felt as if there may be someone in the group, in the livestream, who may be going through a difficult time feeling that they had failed in their life and ministry. As I was listening to Nick speak, I noticed that the conversation in the chat had stopped, and there was a message at the bottom and to the side saying the chat had been disabled. I thought that was strange, but with Zoom calls things happen. Besides, I was listening as I always do and seldom write in the chat. Then Nick began to speak saying he felt that someone on the chat needed to hear what he had to say. And when he spoke, I knew the message from God was for me. I do not believe in coincidence, and I had already spoken to God about things, written about it, received confirming scriptures, plus music, plus after the meeting was over, when I picked up my Daily Devotional for Spiritual Warfare which I do not read daily, when I turned to today's devotional it read "I Will Not Allow the Proud to Oppress You." WOW!! 

As Nick continued he said that there was someone who was sitting in shame and brokenness feeling that their life and ministry felt broken. Then he said "Your blessing will come to the righteous today." How could he know that I have been struggling with broken dreams again?! How could he know I was being oppressed by the devil?! Only God knows these things, and I had been crying out to God in prayer. Suddenly, the chat was moving again, and it was as if only I had been affected by what was happening. I quickly wrote a message thanking Nick, and I said that I needed to hear that message and word today. The message seemed to go unnoticed by anyone in the chat. Somehow I knew this moment was mine.

Prior to the meeting I had been finishing up the blog for 4/27 that I had started but fell asleep on the 27th and last night, so I needed to post it. The words Nick spoke regarding broken dreams were very similar to the words I had spoken to my son about him not giving up on his dreams. Coincidence? As I said before, my son doesn't believe in them either! I can tell that my son has been confused about God's ability to forgive and turn back to a person. So I pray for his eyes to be opened and the crooked places to be made straight. Surrender is difficult for some, but I can sense the deep need in a person's life when they cannot forgive, when they cannot go on, when they cannot dare to hope or trust. 

So many people are seeking peace in this world today, surrounded by evil that is of the vilest sort imaginable. It is my fervent prayer that when our nation is rededicated to God as One Nation Under God, that something will break, and victory can be won. The battle has been long, and the casualties many, but our hope is not in man, our hope is built on nothing else but Jesus' blood and righteousness. To God be the glory!

Day 118 Yeshua, I Need You

 

4/28/2026

"Nothing comes from nothing; nothing never could."

"Something Good" from The Sound of Music

  

Our monthly Harvest Bible study group prayer meeting was last night, and it was a good end to the day.  Mary leads the meeting, and tonight she began by sharing a Carman video from back in the day where he was singing and dancing as he shared seven words for praise in the Hebrew language: Hallel - to praise and celebrate; Yadah - worship and adore with lifting the hands; Towdah - offering a sacrifice of praise and thanksgiving; Shabach - to shout and be triumph; Barak - to kneel and adore God; Zamar - to sing and play musical instruments; and Tehillah - singing and praising God in hymns and spiritual songs. What a fun way to begin a prayer meeting, entering into His gates with thanksgiving and into His courts with praise! It brought back wonderful memories of Carman's ministry and concerts we were privileged to attend with the youth at the church when my children were young. Prayer meetings with my friends is the best way to end the day, especially when there is laughter.              

My morning began with worship, as it always does. It seems as if Alex, my wayward cat, seems to always show up just as I began to sing. He falls to sleep pretty quickly, and he does not demand my attention. This is my quiet time, so as long as he's a gentleman, it's okay. This morning as I read my daily Psalm I began to go over recent events in my life that have been causing me concern. I often think about the brevity of time and importance of relationships, and this morning I was asking God, as I do daily, to restore my family. So much has gone by the wayside, so my greatest desire is to see my children reconciled with their dad and each other. It is so sad to think that so many of my friends and acquaintances share the same prayer for their families. So we pray, and because this is a spiritual battle, we stand!

A song began to play, the lyrics speaking my heart: "Yeshua, I need you, more than words can ever say;  Yeshua, I need you. Every moment, every day be the flame within my soul, be the one who makes me whole; Yeshua, I need you."

As it turned out, this song was a great lead in to my Weekly Worship in my Daily Walk Bible, the subject -Looking Up from Down Under."  Sometimes I think God writes these verses and devotionals just for me. I don't believe in coincidences, only divine appointments, as there is just no way! This is my life. I cry out to Abba from the depth of my soul, and He hears me and answers. It's not always so quickly, but He answers, and He confirms, so the answers ripple. I love it!

The commentator noted that it's easy to become overwhelmed by foolish and sinful rebellion by people who profess to know God, but when we look at our own sinfulness, our difficult and dark times, we are brought much lower. I know personally that I don't want to let God down. I know that I am saved by grace, forgiven, but the memories never really leave, and I wish my life had been more God-honoring. I know the importance of examining our hearts daily, repenting when we slip or don't slip. Repentance is a good thing, a blessing, because it comes from a heart of worship, a heart that desires to be holy, live holy and close to God. Dwelling in His Presence and enjoying fellowship with Him daily. This is the life I live, the only life I want to live. It's the life I speak to my children about, and it's the one I teach about, my testimony of salvation and a life of surrender.

Looking at the Psalms of David we see that David was very transparent in his prayers to God. In Psalm 40 his faith perseveres during a heavy trial that brings him down into the depths of despair. What is characteristic of David's Psalms is although he may begin in a place of utter discouragement, suddenly he will make a change and begin to praise and worship the Shepherd of his soul. Psalm 40 is such an example. He starts in verses 1-4 by saying:

"I waited patiently for God to help me; then he listened and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out from the bog and the mire, and set my feet on a hard, firm path and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, of praises to our God. Now many will hear of the glorious things he did for me, and stand in awe before the Lord, and put their trust in Him. Many blessings are given to those who trust the Lord and have no confidence in those who are proud, or who trust in idols." 

The Lord heard David's cry for help, His ears are ever attentive to our cries. This is the way God poured His love out on Israel as they constantly rebelled about Him, because He loved them, He chose them. He does the same for those who call on Him out of a pure spirit and contrite heart. He will never abandon His children. May we call out to the Lord and say to Him as David said in verse 8: "And I delight to do Your will, my God, for Your law is written upon my heart!'"