4/7/2026
"Let the Spirit of God teach you what He is driving at
and learn not to grieve Him. If we are abiding in Jesus Christ
we shall ask what He wants us to ask, whether we are
conscious of doing so or not."
Oswald Chambers
As the days become darker and the world continues to spin out of control, I find my life becoming more peaceful in unexpected ways. I often feel as if I am doing something wrong, so I ask God to forgive me for whatever I am not doing. Why is it that I feel I need to always be doing something?! Can't it be enough to sit at the feet of Jesus and linger awhile, listening, even if hearing nothing, just resting. Why is silence so difficult for some? I've always loved being hidden away from everyone, tucked into a little hovel in the midst of a dense forest, mountains providing a canopy of majestic trees towering high against the bluest skies of heaven. A sea of color splashed against God's natural canvas of nature.
I am reminded of Tolkien's story of The Hobbit - Bilbo Baggins - who lived in the woods in a Hobbit hole, but it was a fine, wooden cabin tucked into the side of the mountain, charming in every way. It seems so idyllic, and comfortable, inviting, as surely it was meant to be. It reminds me of times when people visited each other more often. I remember my daddy always took us to visit his sisters each weekend. We never traveled any further than a two hour drive to Alexandria where mama's great aunts lived, but as a child, I always loved visiting older relatives. Perhaps I am an old soul, but the trips were special. I especially enjoyed my second cousins, because we'd either go swimming or we'd roller skate up and down the sidewalks that rolled like hills. I enjoyed family. Now, unless I force the issue and make the connections, we don't visit, unless there's a funeral. That's kind of a dismal thought. Back then, I knew the names of everyone, but now, my cousins are grown, their children are grown, and their children have children. Trying to memorize faces and names of all these people is very challenging. Still, I make the effort. It would be nice to know the stories behind the names. I would love for someone to want to know who I am. I often wonder if my parents even knew who I had become. I lived so far away for thirty-five years, and although they visited me and I, them, it wasn't the same as living close. When I was alone, and my life changed so much, I doubt that they really knew who I had become, if I can put it that way. Or what I did for a living. Who I was and who I am.
Life can get away from us. I'd like for them to know that my faith only grew stronger as did my love for Jesus. That I know they knew, because all I do is talk about Jesus and all He has done for me. They knew that I could sing, because they found that out when they visited me in New Mexico. I did sing in groups, in a choir, and solos in Virginia, but I guess they never heard me sing alone. I think they knew I was a puppeteer, but maybe not. Perhaps coming home after being away for so long is to get to know my family again. The only problem is that everyone is too busy to get together. But, I am determined that I won't let that keep me from trying.
I was listening to Marty Goetz from House of Worship sing Moon River by Andy Williams. That really brought back memories for me. Even as a child I loved movie soundtracks, and I loved Andy Williams. My aunt gave me a Christmas album by him one year. Oh, how I cherished that record, and I played it over and over again, until someone decided that they would "borrow" it, but it was never returned. The memory still lingers on, so it's okay. I can remember, and I see it in my brain. When I saw the visual shots of the moon from Artemis II space craft, I thought of that song. God's universe is unimaginably brilliant in design and display against a galaxy of stars. I wonder how many people truly recognize how beautiful God made everything! Does anyone take the time to really look and see and appreciate it? If not they are missing out.
I think I'll sit awhile and enjoy the music and the scenery while there's still time.
