Day 254 We Remember, I Remember

 

9/11/2026

"For the eyes of the Lord search back and forth across the whole earth,

looking for people whose hearts are perfect towards Him,

so that He can show His great power in helping them."

2 Chronicles 16:9a

"Put them in fear, O LORD: that the nations

may know themselves to be but men."

Psalm 9:20

 

Moving around from place to place, I found myself on a brief sojourn in Wisconsin near my younger son and his family. I lived in a small college town called River Falls, a short distance from my son in Hudson, and I worked at Land's End in Woodbury, Minnesota, just over the border. I remember standing in my living room September 11, 2001, getting ready for work, when I watched on television in stunned silence the horror unfold before our eyes. The enemy had attacked us on American soil, decimating our people and our cities. 

Back then I watched television, because there were still honest men and women who shared the daily news with a more patriotic audience. It's a horrible thing to witness war on any level, but to see the chaos and terror on the faces of the people, and feel it wash over my own, with tears running down my cheeks, as people ran to safety or scrambled to try to pull people from the rubble and fire. The first plane was directed at the north tower of the World Trade Center (9:46 am), then the south tower was targeted (9:03 am); the Pentagon was attacked next (9:37 am), and a plane was downed in a field in Shanksville, Pennsylvania (10:03 am) that had been headed for Washington DC when the passengers and crew fought back forfeiting their own lives. ISIS had planned the attacks systematically. So many lives were lost, and not one person in our country did not feel the effect of the loss of this great tragedy. Today we remember those who lost their lives 25 years ago. All Americans who love their country mourn, and we never will forget, yet there are those who have sworn to love our nation, who claim to be American citizens,  speaking against her, saying unspeakable indignities, laughing as others grieve, and dishonoring the Name of our God. These people have been elected to office by other Americans, and I don't understand how this is possible. How is it allowed, and why is it tolerated? How can someone be voted into a government position and not pledge allegiance to the American flag and to our God? 

There's so much hatred running rampantly within our cities, and our Constitutional freedoms are being challenged. The Bible speaks of these times when men's hearts will run cold, lawlessness will overtake the streets, false religions and false prophets will overtake the land, and good will be called evil, and evil will be called good. The blood of innocent babies covers our nation's streets, and even in America Christians are being persecuted for believing in Jesus and for standing with the Jewish people. The Jewish people were the first immigrants to our country, the very ones our Statute of Liberty welcomes in Emma Lazarus' poem The New Colossus:   "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.  The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. / Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me, / I lift my lamp beside the golden door!" 

Today immigrants are still welcomed into our country, those who are serious about becoming American citizens and building a life and future for themselves and our neighbors, contributing to the welfare of our nation. We each have a job to do - a purpose. But there are those of whom I mentioned previously who want to see open borders where criminals, traffickers, drug dealers can easily stride right in bringing death and harm to innocent victims. These same "leaders" want no police, no prisons, so criminals can go free. Interesting that they fight about gun ownership when they are partial to the very ones we need to protect our families from harming us. Watching this type of mayhem and death happen on our streets in our nation whose motto is "One Nation Under God" is disheartening. 

When this careless government rule began in California, many moved their families to safer locations across the United States. Soon, there will be no safe place for children to be raised. We need to be weeping and crying out to God in repentance, but most are oblivious to all that is happening, as it is still being covered up. And all that has been exposed, and there has been much uncovered, is being kept from the public or denied in spite of all the documentation and criminal dealings being handled by our security departments. The findings are beyond unconscionable. The people do not want to believe, until it hits them smack in the face, even then the blame game where no one wants to be accountable is the game they play. The church is silent, therefore complicit to the lawlessness and sins, as the Scriptures say "For the time has come for judgment to begin at the house of God; and if it begins with us first, what will be the end of those who do not obey the gospel of God?" (1 Peter 4:17).

Today we focus on that fateful day on September 11, 2001, remembering the innocent lives lost, the sacrifices of our first responders and civilians who diligently worked to save lives, and the many, many people involved in this crisis. We send our love and our prayers to survivors and the families of those who lost their lives, asking for the shalom peace of Almighty God to embrace them and draw them to His Presence. We remember, I will always remember.

Day 253 Not the Day I Planned

 

9/10/2026

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity

under the heavens:..."

Ecclesiastes 3:1

 

Yesterday I wrote about some of the events of the past two weeks, but it never seems to come close to the way life is really. Today I had one task I needed to finish, cutting the grass before the rain fell again, which it did in the evening. The breeze was too brisk to think about burning the tree limbs that had fallen in the previous rains or the trimmings from the bushes, so I gathered up the poison vines and bagged them for safety against accidentally touching the poison to my skin. I had spoken with my friend earlier, checking on her husband's condition, and she said he'd been resting comfortably. She shared about the sweet moments they had shared the day before. 

I spent a long afternoon cutting the grass, cleaning the lawnmower, pulling weeds and weed eating, so I decided I'd had enough fun for one afternoon. I went into the house and showered. It felt good to get the grass, dirt, and sweat off my skin. I had a little time to spend going over my lesson for tonight, as Thursdays are my online Harvest Group studies. The topic tonight was "My Trauma is not my Template," the message by Levi Lusko, who was our special guest on Sunday standing in for Pastor Greg. The message was about dealing with trauma and grief, and I must say it was a timely subject indeed. I say that, because I received a text message from my close friend shortly after coming into the house saying her husband had passed away. I shared about his accident and the circumstances previously. When I was cutting grass, I got this feeling that he was gone, but I fought the idea. It was a devastating blow. Losing another close friend is a tremendous loss, and I cannot imagine how my friend is going to cope. Fifty-four years is a long time, something I can only imagine, but they were so suited to one another.

When the family received the pathology report the news had not been good, but we prayed for a miracle, and I believe we got one. I asked Abba Father to give him time with his children, as they've not been too attentive lately. That request was answered in part, so I know that there will be a time for two of his children to deal with regret for wasted years. I also asked that he feel the presence of God surrounding him and give him peace, so I truly believe that happened. He had experienced His presence before when he was very ill. God has his way of manifesting His presence and His power. His miracles come in many ways, and I thank God for the time to exchange much-needed affection and words of affection. Too many times words are left unsaid, and regret eats away at a person until they can deal with the loss, the extreme grief, the things left unsaid,forgiveness. 

Since I've been back in Virginia I've buried more than one family member, and I've had several deaths in New Mexico. I feel responsible somehow, because I wasn't there, but I know that is a ridiculous supposition. I am so very glad that I have had the opportunity to spend time with family and with many friends. But this is hard. The distance between the two locations is great, and my responsibilities here are limiting when it comes to travel. Regardless, I know if need be I will find a way around my dilemma, because God will make a way. Sometimes I still question whether I heard correctly that I was meant to come home, and I know that my presence here has made a vast difference. It still doesn't help the ache I feel in my heart for my friend, my dearest friend, who lost her husband, her soulmate, and my dear friend. Today when she shared that many people had been calling her, she said she had no idea how people felt. That sounds familiar as I know another friend who expressed similar words. I can only speak for myself in each case, but regarding her husband, I can say that no one really knows the influence they have on others. Hopefully, the impact is of eternal value and for God's glory, as that is our goal in life as believers in Christ. On a personal level, I have seen kindness, compassion, someone who can make me laugh using a dog's squeak toy that sounds like snorting pig. The most important fact is that he was devoted to his wife of 54 years, and he was always by her side. It was beautiful to see. 

I didn't get a chance to say goodbye, except for my silly antics over the telephone which I'm not certain he heard, as the phone was a little imperfect, but I believe I will see him again when I get to heaven. I can envision his arrival on the path leading up to the gate - Jesus is there naturally, along with his beloved dog Tiger, and I believe my parents and grandparents were there to greet him as well. Along with all the angels shouting "hallelujah" and "welcome home!" I pray that thought gives others strength and courage.  

Day 252 Choose

 

9/9/2026

"Your destiny is determined by choice,

not by chance."

Your Daily Walk

 

I must say that I never thought my nice, quiet weekend would turn into a series of unfortunate circumstances, as it has this week. But in reality every thing that is happening has been orchestrated by God, and quite honestly, I can hardly wait to see what He's going to do next. While I am still not certain why I am here when all the action is happening in New Mexico, I am patient, and I know there's more to come. I do have the emotional support of my younger son, although at times it is a struggle for him with all the medications he takes working against his body. But this has allowed me to rekindle my desire to gain more education in my field of research. It seems as if every researcher must be reading my notes, as more and more I am discovering that scientists are talking about oxidative stress and are paying attention to the function of the mitochondria which is the power house of the cell. I would think that since the cell's function is the first place to start for any study or diagnosis, this point would be obvious. But no! I feel honored that God showed me one more thing that medicine didn't yet have a grasp on.

Aside from all of that important stuff, my story began last week when I reconnected with a friend who's been going through a rough patch, and I had not heard from him since January 2019. He had called me one day, gave me the name of his friend, and then he literally dropped off the grid. Recently he's been heavy on my heart, so I reached out through the friend, and we have been in contact since. The story is long, but the victory is that he said my email arrived at just the right time. I am beginning to know how much of a "God thing" that statement was! His timing is always perfect. Now he's back functioning in his God-given purpose as a Chaplain.

Then the incident with my close friend's husband being hospitalized for a stroke happened, and I reached out to my Chaplain friend. He went over to see them, and so both were blessed by the connection. He also went over to another hospital to see my other friend's husband. I have yet to hear about that visit. God does nothing by happenstance.

The real miracle of this story, other than the miracle of my friend's husband being able to communicate with his family and be responsive, is how I came to meet everyone involved in the first place. God has a way of taking us on the path we were meant to be on when we just let go and surrender. That took divorce, more than one, in my case, and as hard as that has been, it has been for my making. When I reconnected with the work force I did not even consider working in the lab or hospital, I went my creative route, and it was a time I will always cherish. My esteem was so low that I applied for a housekeeper's position at a hotel, so I could do honest work but disappear from sight. Somehow the hotel manager felt I was the one for a hotel clerk's position. From there I went into hotel gift shop management, and I eventually ended up at a resort where I was a gift shop manager. 

Eventually, it was time to move on, so I applied for a caregiver job, as I'd done that previously - I have literally been a jack of all trades, and although the pay was not great, I gained skills and learned how to deal with all sorts of people with many attitudes and behaviors. If here was a problem, I was the one who handled it. This was during a time when I was an emotional basket case myself, yet God in His mercy used this donkey to get the job done. Once I had to quell the anger of a customer who had raw sewage come up from the toilet onto his beautiful, expensive cowboy boots while his wife was dealing with a back up drain in the shower. Somehow I managed - only by the grace of God. 

So when my exploits took me to an home health care agency to apply for a caregiver position, the manager talked to me about a supervisor's job. Short story, because my stories are always crazy, I got the job which eventually lead me into case management into another job, then on to care coordination/case management which is where I met all three of the above-mentioned friends. The interesting part of it is that I was in a job that I did not have the "credentials" for, but because of the experience I had gained in my merry-go-round experience, before and after divorce, the requirements were waived, and there I was. My career was not without "drama," because satan does not like me, but up until my retirement I had a very successful career, and was valued and my case documentation is still being used today. 

Had we not moved to New Mexico, out of God's timing, I remind you, many things would not have happened. And trust me, this is all surface of what God has taken me through, and it is continuing. I am amazed. God truly does take the foolish things of this world to confound the wise (1 Corinthians 1:27), and the things meant for evil can be turned for good when surrendered to God (Genesis 50:20, Romans 8:28). I am undone!

When word came about my friend's stroke I called my daughter who, although she has her own chronic illness and pain, immediately started warring in the Spirit. She was like a she bear robbed of her cubs. It was like "don't mess with my kids" type of attitude. Although she has never met my friends face to face, she was able to pray in the power of Holy Spirit. Now my prayer is that this same zealous prayer focus will be for herself, and she will be healed from her infirmities. I've lived with chronic pain from injuries and immune system challenges (unheard of in my era) since I was born, but I never knew about disability assistance, and when I was older, and it was recommended, I didn't cave in. I felt like others needed assistance, and I was fine. I wasn't, but it was my mindset, and keeping my eyes on the Healer and Source has been my deliverance. My daddy tried to get help for me, but nothing helped, so I just took it one day, one step, and even though there were some really hard days, I survived. I am an over-comer by the blood of the Lamb, the word of my testimony, and I love not my life to the death. It is a choice, and I chose to live!

Day 251 Beholding Jesus

 

9/8/2026

"Think about the first time you ever saw Jesus. 

Think about your first encounter with the Christ. Robe

yourself in that moment. Resurrect the relief. Recall the purity.

Summon forth the passion. Can you remember?"

Max Lucado, Six Hours One Friday

 

As I'm writing this blog I'm listening to the re-play of this morning's worship watch with Kehilat HaCarmel, enjoying the worship, the meditations, amazed at how God blends the events of our lives together with others. There is no distance in true friendship or fellowship as God enlarges our boundaries, and we are made one in Christ. Loving Him, seeking Him, gazing upon His face as we draw near to Him, He draws near to us.

In considering the question above, "Think about the first time you ever saw Jesus," I am wondering how many people have actually experienced His presence. I have shared my testimony many times, and each day of my life is a new encounter. I guard my quiet time with Jesus, but there are some times when I just want to spend the time sitting at His feet, locking out the world, putting aside the things I need to do, and just enjoy being with Him. He never leaves me, and I feel Him with me each moment, but abiding in our place of quietness, without interruptions, is like heaven to me. At least as much as I can understand of what heaven truly is with my finite imagination. That's the beauty of childlike wonder. He called me as a child, so I must continue to behold Him as such, while growing and maturing in my faith and in the depth of His Word so I can share with others. The fragrance of His love and presence.

With everything happening yesterday I did not read my Weekly Worship from my Daily Walk Bible until this morning. I've just completed my study of Hosea and Joel, and today I began the book of Amos, all heavy duty calls to repentance, so it's good and welcomed to have a sweet interlude with worship from the psalms before continuing on with Amos. I find it interesting how the scriptures line up with warnings and calls to repentance as we approach the high holy days and the 10 Days of Awe that come as we count from Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement to the Feast of Tabernacles. These are days of fasting, prayer and repentance. This year the 10 days begin on 9/11 which is the day in 2001 when America was invaded by Islamic terrorists, causing many deaths and massive destruction to life and property. It was a catastrophic event that changed our nation, yet there are those who consider themselves American citizens, but they do not honor this day or those who died so savagely. It is well that we pray during this time, repenting as a nation who has removed God as our Sovereign. That is another reason that we rest every seven days between readings to reflect on the love of God and His faithfulness to an ungrateful nation, yet cry out to Him for mercy in our great time of need.

Psalm 93 is short and powerful:

"Jehovah is King! He is robed in majesty and strength. The world is his throne. O Lord, you have reigned from prehistoric times, from the everlasting past. The mighty oceans thunder your praise. You are mightier than all the breakers pounding on the seashores of the world! Your royal decrees cannot be changed. Holiness is forever he keynote of your reign."

Our confidence should always be in Him and Him alone. We should never allow the enemy of our souls to bring in negativity and accusations in an attempt to rob us of our peace and joy. Yet many times we fall into the trap, as he weaves such a pretty snare. Do not allow yourself to entertain his lies and deceptions, and always think on things that are good and pure. Let us worship Him in the beauty of His holiness.  

Day 250 Ein Kamocha Adonai

 

9/7/2026

"God, I look to You, You're where my help comes from;

give me vision to see things as You do.

God, I look to You, I won't be overwhelmed;

give me wisdom to know just what to do."

God I Look To You

by Bethel Worship

 

"Ein kamocha Adonai" is Hebrew for "There is no one else like You, LORD," the words from a favorite song of similar title. Our worship leader was singing the song this morning in English and Hebrew, as we often do in the International Christian Embassy Jerusalem daily morning calls. I love the Hebrew language, but I am also rather fond of my own two languages, English and Spanish. When the children were young we tried to speak Spanish so they would be bilingual and could communicate with their older relatives in New Mexico and California, but the trail ran cold, and even in high school, only one wanted to study further. I always told my children, as well as those I taught or tutored, that knowing more than one foreign language would be beneficial, but no one cared to listen. I admit my own use of the language fell to the wayside until I began to work for the Army, and then much later when I was employed as a case manager before I retired. I tried to teach those interested at my church in a small group, but participation became decreased as enthusiasm waned with increase in difficulty. 

It's amazing how I can tune out people when they are chatting in English or Spanish, unless the conversation includes me. Since I've been home I began using the application Duolingo with a pesty owl named Duo whose emoji actually changes expression as the day progresses, and I have not completed a lesson. It is rather fun to peeve the inanimate emoji that thinks it can intimidate me. The review is good, plus adding new words to my vocabulary, modern words for the same objects, has been fun. I love to sing in Spanish as well. I believe that music has a healing and peaceful effect on the mind and body, especially Christian songs based on the Word of God, like hymns.

This morning at exactly 3:23 am I was awakened by a phone call from one of my dearest friends in Northern New Mexico whose husband had suffered a stroke, and the ambulance was on the way to the hospital. She was calling for prayer. Honestly, I just said okay quickly, as she was whisked away to the hospital by her family. I was shocked, and I didn't know how to pray, so I just said "HELP! Lord, help!" Her husband is in his 80's, and over the years he has suffered some pretty serious health issues, to include dying on the table and being resuscitated. We've seen miracles in his life and in hers many times over the years. My friend believes in the power of God, and even in her emotional state, she said she believed in miracles, but she also knows that his time here may be finished. God may be calling him home. We all must face that inevitable truth about the end of our days, but a Christian's prayer is always to finish the race set before us, to endure whatever comes, until we receive the crown of righteousness to lay at the feet of our Savior and Lord, Jesus.

At this writing he is responsive and has been taken off the resuscitator. Already God has been bringing him back, but we do not know His plan for His child. So we continue to pray, and we speak life into the situation. I had shared a song with my friend that I felt impressed by God to share with her with the instruction for her to sing it over him. The song has lyrics in English and Spanish - God I Look to You -and it is a very powerful song of the goodness of God. Later, I listened to Jenn Johnson from Bethel Church in California who wrote the song speak about how she came to write it. She was praying to God, telling Him that she felt overwhelmed. She felt Him say to her that if she continued to speak those words, she would be overwhelmed. So instead she wrote the words "I won't be overwhelmed," She did share the song with husband, but she did not sing it; nonetheless, the words got into His spirit, God answered our prayers, and he healing has begun. So we wait on God.

I've written very often about the power of our words. In fact I think I wrote yesterday or the day before, as God has always been very specific about the words we say and think. In Matthew 12:34 it says,  "Brood of vipers! How can you, being evil, speak good things? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." Again, I share my favorite from Proverbs 18:21, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." Words spoken to someone who is unconscious, told there is no hope, can respond when the prayer of faith is spoken over him. Miracles still happen, and we must never give up, unless Jesus comes to take us home. And even then we begin new life, a better life with Him in eternity. So, for now, the story continues, for all of us.

Day 249 Let Me See as You Do

 

9/6/2026 

"O soul, are you weary and troubled?
No light in the darkness you see?
There’s light for a look at the Savior,
And life more abundant and free." 

Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus

 

My weekend has been wonderfully encouraging with messages from my three online pastors with whom I've kept steady company for a period of time. I also begin Friday evenings with the Wilbur family for Shabbat in your Home, as Sabbath begins on Friday evening in Israel and continues until evening on Saturday. Then Sunday mornings I walk across the country highway to my parent's Baptist Church, but today I was having some health issues, so I elected to stay home. It turned better today. Pastor Greg was away today, so Pastor Levi Lusko brought the message at Harvest Ministries. I must say it was a very timely message that encouraged my aching soul. Later I checked in with Pastor Jack Hibbs for Part 2 of last week's message from Proverbs 3. Another welcomed time of worship, prayer, and instruction.

I've been feeding my neighbor's two cats while she's out of town for Labor Day, so the inside cat, Callie, is becoming acquainted with the 10/40 window of prayer for people who have not heard the Gospel. This evening I shared a couple of others missionary updates, and she seemed to take note and not turn away. She's a much better audience than most with whom I share missionary news. Each day I receive updates from the different missionary groups I connect with updating me or alerting me to a crisis. I've been involved with missions since I was very young. Back then I only supported the ones my mama helped, but over the years my education has grown, as has my involvement. Although, I must confess that I feel that I am failing in keeping certain countries in prayer. My bulletin board is covered with faces, and I hold on to the monthly magazines that come from Voice of he Martyrs hoping to make a large collage of more names and faces. But, there simply is not enough room, not enough space, not even enough walls, as the need is so vastly overwhelming.

I've been sharing bits and pieces of the messages from this weekend with others, because they really gave me hope that there are people who care, pastors who train their sheep even the young people to know what is going on so they will be equipped. Always the focus is on trusting God, but today I sensed a bit of resignation, and I pray I sensed wrongly. We must see through the eyes of Jesus, and we must always remember that words are important, so we have to guard what we say. The Word of God warns us to in Proverbs 4:23 "Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life."  Each day I repeat Proverbs 4:20-22 "My son, give attention to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them depart from your eyes; keep them in the midst of your heart; for they are life to those who find them, and health to all their flesh." One I repeat to others when their words are careless is found in Proverbs 18:21 "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit." I hope these words do not fall on deaf ears.

I really wanted to share the meatiness of the Word that was shared with me over the past two days, as well as my personal time with Jesus, the things I wrote in my journal, the prayers we prayed in the daily call, and even some things the Lord has shown me. But as I've been sharing, I am so broken and desperately grieving the lack of interest in the things of the Lord by others that I don't want to have these pearls of wisdom fall on deaf ears, blinded eyes, and apathetic hearts. I so want for everyone to see Jesus, to know Him, truly know Him, to fall in love with Him all over again. Or maybe see Him for the first time and realize how wonderful He is. For people to realize all He has done for us, all He has given to us. To wake up each morning and truly thank God for sending His Son, His Only Son to save us, to pull us out of that muck and mire of sin and sit our feet on solid ground. To gaze upon His beauty in the Spirit of Holiness. 

I guess I'm a hopeless bore of a person to many, because all I do is talk about Jesus. I've chosen to step away from certain prayer groups, because I primarily wanted to listen more to what He was saying and how He was directing me to pray, rather than have a dozen prayer sheets with prayer points, too many to focus on. And quite honestly, I wanted to spend more time in actual praying than in hearing what seemed like rote responses from people who just wanted to hear themselves talking. I ask God's forgiveness so many times a day, because I do not want to be an accuser of the brethren. Satan has that firmly in his disgusting clutches, and I want no similarities with his personality. I want to emulate Jesus and show His love to others. But things just haven't seemed right to me. Many things. But by seeking God, and remaining humble and repentant, searching my heart, confessing any sin, I know I'll know the next step. I've also been under quite an emotional strain since December of last year, so I did need to step back and take note of a few priorities which had changed. I have to laugh, because my life is becoming increasingly interesting, and I have a few thorns in the flesh for my own making, I hope. Paul had his thorn, and I recently heard another brother speak of one the Lord thought he needed to keep. At least I'm in good company, although Paul is in heaven now, thorn free. But somehow it's a privilege to suffer for Christ, if that's what it is. I don't profess to know very much at all. I just keep doing what I know He says "do." Maybe if you're reading this you'll consider praying for me. I'd appreciate the comfort.

"The real purpose of our wrestling in prayer is to render us so impotent

and helpless, not only in connection with our physical and spiritual needs, but, above all,

our ability to pray, that our prayer really becomes a prayer for the 

Spirit of prayer."

O. Hallesby  

Day 248 My Plea

 

9/5/2026 

"If you look at the world, you'll be distressed. 

If you look within, you'll be depressed.

If you look at God, you'll be at rest."

Corrie ten Boom

 

Our world is changing, and even though the signs are obvious, and have been for some time, many fail to see or simply do not want to pay attention. Nothing has really changed as this type of behavior - the inability to want to see - has existed for a very long while. Dietrich Bonhoeffer knew about this condition of man, as did Corrie ten Boom. I have been speaking out about it for a very long time, but my words falls on deaf ears as well. I guess it's easier to believe someone who claims that heaven is made of mountains of jello or pudding or some other nonsense. But that is simply not true. I do want to inform visitors to my page what the Bible says about certain Biblical events and educate. I'm not distressed or worried, because I know that nothing is a surprise to God. In fact God mentions all these things in His Word which I guess no one studied in seminaries or taught in church. It makes me very sad, because I know that situations presently going on in this world are not pleasing to Him and the disobedience and disbelief of man breaks His heart. 

I have admitted before that there have been times when I simply do not know how to pray, so I cry out to the Lord, and I weep over our nation that is turning its back on God. We have a President and his administration who have been trying very hard to turn things back around, re-claiming America as One Nation Under God while many mocked him, and churches remained silent. Without repentance change cannot come. This is the reason revivals do not tarry after the initial days have ended, and life eventually picks back up where it was before. 

When King David sinned against God by taking a census to number the people, God offered him three choices in judgment. David chose to face the Lord's punishment rather than fall into man's hands. The prophet Gad told David to do the following:

"And Gad came that day to David and said to him, 'Get up, erect an altar to the LORD on the threshing floor of Araunah the Jebusite.' So David, according to the word of Gad, went up as the LORD commanded. Now Araunah looked, and saw the king and his servants coming toward him. So Araunah went out and bowed before the king with his face to the ground. Then Araunah said, 'Why has my lord the king come to his servant?' And David said, 'To buy the threshing floor from you, to build an altar to the LORD, that the plague may be withdrawn from the people.' Now Araunah said to David, 'Let my lord the king take and offer up whatever seems good to him. Look, here are oxen for burnt sacrifice, and threshing implements and the yokes of the oxen for wood. All these, O king, Araunah has given to the king.' And Araunah said to the king, 'May the LORD your God accept you.' Then the king said to Araunah, 'No, but I will surely buy it from you for a price; nor will I offer burnt offerings to the LORD my God with that which costs me nothing.' So David bought the threshing floor and the oxen for fifty shekels of silver. And David built there an altar to the LORD, and offered burnt offerings and peace offerings. So the LORD heeded the prayers for the land, and the plague was withdrawn from Israel" (2 Samuel 24:18-25).   

David understood the seriousness of his sin which brought the judgment of God on the people. And David also knew that he could not give something to the Lord that did not cost him. He had to surrender himself into God's hands and trust Him. He came to God with a repentant heart, recognizing his failure in verse 17 of the same Chapter: "Then David spoke to the LORD when he saw the angel who was striking the people, and said, 'Surely I have sinned, and I have done wickedly; but these sheep, what have they done? Let Your hand, I pray, be against me and against my father's house.'"

The sins of our nation are so many, and we have allow darkness to come into our country destroying the freedom that God gave this country when our nation was established. We have allowed wickedness to come into our government, our cities, our schools, our borders, and the consequences are now becoming very obvious, yet still no one dares to speak up. And when there is silence, one becomes complicit with the sin. 

Repentance begins in each heart, then it becomes corporate. This weekend we remember 9/11 that will forever be etched in the mind and written on my heart as a heavy price our nation paid with the loss of so many precious, innocent lives. What have we learned?!

I am tired, and I do not understand what has happened to men and women who claim to know and love the Lord Jesus. What would men like George Whitefield, John Wesley, Jonathan Edwards, or Rees Howells think of the condition of men's hearts? How much more has to happen for the church to wake up? 

I won't give up or in. I will continue to stand the watch.

"My helpless friend, your helplessness is the most powerful plea which rises up

to the tender father-heart of God. You think that everything is closed to you because

you cannot pray. My friend, your helplessness is the very essence of prayer."

O. Hallesby