Day 233 An End to My Adventure

 

8/21/2026

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately,..."

Walden by Henry David Thoreau 

 

O, how I remember my college days when I was introduced to American and European literature. I particularly loved Henry David Thoreau, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Leo Tolstoy, the Bronte sisters, Jane Austen, and so, so many wonderful writers. I've often admitted that as a youngster I could never read enough - always off on some mental journey. I definitely was a dreamer! And, as I have also mentioned previously in my catalog of memories, I was known as an adventurer, a pioneer spirit, by my husband's  relatives, because I'd decide to get in the car and take a trip on a whim or a moment's notice...or so it seemed to many. I prefer to think I planned a bit, especially when my three little ones were in tow. I was not foolhardy when it came to making certain that someone new my determine route for the day, and about when and where I planned to stop for the evening. When the children were very young, I was super guarded when it came to their welfare. We've been to quite a few large zoos in our time, and I tried to make certain that the children were well read. 

I've been feeling a little restless recently, as it's been almost five years since I moved back to Virginia abandoning my beloved Northern New Mexico and my favorite hideaways. I particularly loved to escape to Sipapu, a small ski and summer resort hidden away in the back woods near Taos on a road leading to Mora, but it is my hope to stop by there the next time I do make it back to New Mexico to ask about working seasonally. I have dreams to upscale their gift shop, but we all have ideas! It would be nice to start using my gifts again, but then I imagine in a way I am with writing daily. Guess we'll see what comes of it!

I decided to take a short adventure, not far from home, for a couple of days, but alas, although I did make it out of the house eventually, after several delays, staying overnight in my determined destination, I did not plan well in advance what I may need. My diet is not like others, as I have some dietary restrictions, so I ended up not feeling too well and decided that one night away was more than enough. Besides which I had not done my investigation for lodging very well, and the place I stayed was not quite as I was led to believe. Still, although in not the best condition, the room was clean, and I had all I needed pretty much. The manager was very kind and available, and the area was picturesque country farming land and very quiet and peaceful. I believe an Amish farm was located just across the road, as there were "Share the Road" signs with a horse and buggy pictured on it. The roads I traveled were narrow, rolling, with lush green forests typical of Virginia. As I sit here now, looking out my window at home I see the green field that lies between my neighbor's home and mine,freshly cut and nestled next to my lawn. It's been raining gently, so the air is fresh, the humidity is lower, and the breeze is welcomed. The forest across the way is very lush and green, but mostly I love my stately old maple tree and my dad's crepe myrtles. Beautiful beyond description!

The rain is gently falling with a slight, gentle breeze. The close of another day, another adventure. 

Day 232 Oil and Vinegar Days

 

8/20/2026

 "See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise"

Galatians 5:15 

Grateful for bright morning skies, the warmth of the sun on my face, laughter as birds sing and dance on the tree boughs as they flit from one branch to the other, floating effortlessly across the air. I was awakened once more by the gentle nudge of the kitten's head against my face, urging me to get up and play. I tried to resist, but there's something so endearing about a kitten's purr and soft fur against my face that made her hard to resist. So many simple echoes of Your love for me early before day begins, Abba. Thank You, Lord, for Your creative wake up calls!

I didn't sleep well due to excruciating pain in my right hip and leg, one of the thorns in my flesh active once more. After exhausting the use of ice, stretching, changing positions and exercising, I finally reached for the heating pad. It had been so terribly hot without an air conditioner, but the fan kept the worst of the heat from the heating pad assisting in its purpose. Finally I was able to drift off to sleep with some relief, but it was interrupted by my morning visitor, intent once more on getting me up and moving, oblivious to my overnight struggles. But who can say anything harsh against such a loving wake up call, even after a painful and fitful night?! 

Before going to bed last night I listened to the weekly YouTube discussion with Todd Coconato and Mario Murillo which airs on Wednesday evenings at the same time An Hour with Jesus with Terry MacAlmon airs. I chose An Hour with Jesus, so I kept Mario for later. Mario is an evangelist, and his discussions generally cover tent crusades and topics of concern in the church, but tonight he was continuing an earlier conversation about false prophets. I must say that the information really opened my eyes a little wider with regard to the things happening in the church. It's bad enough when news of what's going on in the culture or in the political scene turns our stomachs sour, and although God is exposing and cleansing the church, what I heard last night was immensely disturbing. As an intercessor I am aware of many things, but I am not one who scrolls or listens to YouTube videos or podcasts unless I have a reason to do so. My time is better spent "Sticking to the Book" as Billy Graham warned, so I may be aware of evil in this world, but I don't need to read about it. Pray, yes, but in secret.

You may recall that I have been studying the book of Ezekiel, and God is warning about the evil that has caused His anger to boil over and lead to the total destruction of Israel and Judah. God's graphic description of the sinful and evil acts of Israel pales in comparison to certain things I have heard this week in the selective news that I choose to read. Lately, as the prophetic clock ticks faster, the enemy has been sharpening his talons for a deeper grasp, ensnaring the unwary or the extremely proud. Some things haven't changed from the beginning of Creation when the serpent tempted Eve. I am generally very cautious about what I post on my Facebook page, as I try to seek the counsel and wisdom of Holy Spirit before posting any content on my "podium," as I call it, but some things must be said. The Apostle Paul, who was called by God to take the Gospel to the nations, to the Gentile nations, warned Timothy of the impending threats to come and of those who would turn from the truth. Over the years scandals have been exposed, with a quick slice to the jugular. I found it interesting even decades ago when scandal happened in the church that some received a pat on the hand, while others were cast out on their ears, depending on who committed the sin. Sometimes people convicted by the power of Holy Spirit who can no longer bear the burden confessed their sin, yet they endured the shame and abandonment of the Christian church. In one instance, one such man found his way back, restored to the ministry, aided by the counsel of a gospel music ministry pastor, after the church threw the man out, and the music industry erased his name from existence. This is the way it should be done, as we all sin and fall short of God's glory...every day! Paul speaks of restoration of a fallen brother or sister in Christ in Galatians 6:1. In 1 Corinthians 10:12 Paul warns the church to take heed lest they too fall into temptation that leads to sin. The enemy is very crafty, as I well know.

The phrase "oil and vinegar days" was used in a recent prayer meeting, but I did not catch the full context of how it was being used. My interpretation of this could be based on the use of the two ingredients in making salad dressing. I have never enjoyed the harsh smell of vinegar used as a cleaning agent by my mother when she cleaned windows. I avoid any use of the smelly, caustic concoction as much as possible, and I am not one who uses salad dressing on my salads...unless I am at Olive Gardens Restaurant enjoying their famous salad dressing. They have a very unique method of using olive oil and spices to offset the acute acidic effect of the vinegar producing a flavorful blend. I imagine if we can use this analogy of the acidic burning and sour pungent smell, an assault to the mucous membranes, of vinegar and liken it to the sinful nature of man, then look at olive oil as the purifying, soothing quality it adds, we can get an idea of the use of this phrase "oil and vinegar days," as the days we are now living.

When I searched to see if the phrase was used in Biblical terms, I was reminded that vinegar was used in the gall of wine and vinegar provided to Jesus by the soldier when He was suffering on the cross. Oil has been used to refer to Holy Spirit anointing. One commentator said vinegar represented truth while oil was a metaphor for love. This reminds me of the scripture found in 1 Peter 4:8: "And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity (love) shall cover the multitude of sins." James 2:13 says: "For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment." I'll leave it to the reader for further consideration, but we must always be mindful to consider the context in which scripture is used in the Bible. It is the inspired Word of God, and sadly, many times it is used totally out of context in order to accommodate a person's thoughts or behavior. It has become very commonplace these days, so please be wary of falling into the same trap the devil used on Eve in the Garden, and when he attempted to use with Jesus in the wilderness when He was led by the Spirit to be tempted. Satan knows scripture, and he knows how to twist it, but our response should be as Jesus when He answered "It is written...!" (Matthew 4:4-6)

These are indeed perilous days, as Jesus warned. May we walk circumspectly with wisdom, heeding the warnings lest we too fall. 

Day 231 Remember...You are!

 

8/19/2026

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God,

and the Word was God."

John 1:1

 

When the Lord first spoke to me about writing, He led me back to His beginning to help me understand, if one can truly do that, the Kingdom of God. He directed me to the Gospel of Matthew, the introduction as: "Matthew is the gospel written by a Jew to Jews about a Jew." In today's society, even in the church, I think that many have forgotten these important facts, especially that Jesus is a Jew. In fact He is the King of the Jews.

The Gospel of Matthew begins with the genealogy of Jesus beginning with Abraham, the man God chose to be the father of all nations. I have always loved reading and studying through the "begats," because it is here I can see so clearly not only the love of God, but His amazing mercy and forgiveness to imperfect man. 

When John the Baptist was sent by God as a forerunner to announce the coming of the Messiah, his message was simple, "Repent ye: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand" (Matthew 3:2). After John was imprisoned, and Jesus began His ministry His first words were the same: "Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand" (Matthew 4:17). Jesus hand picked His disciples and simply said "Follow Me." And they did without hesitation. I often wonder why it is not that simple today, and yet, perhaps within the hearts of those who truly hunger and thirst for righteousness, it can be so. I know for myself, I have never doubted who He is, and following Him is all I want to do. 

This world has much darkness, and many are confused, especially young people. Summer is almost over, and colleges are starting up, and where there is excitement in the air about being part of a college community, meeting new friends, living in the dorms, with all the freshness of a new beginning, no longer under the watch care of parents, I imagine there is also much fear because of the ugliness and uncertainty  in the world today. Life is not just about moving out of the family home, meeting new friends, acquiring new knowledge, it means growing up, becoming of age and accountability as an adult. And who really knows what they want to do with their life at 18 years of age?! We all have dreams, and for some of us, our dreams never die, they never age, but we have to be realistic and sometimes things don't happen overnight or way past that stage. Many times young people become caught up in society's view of what becoming successful means. It's easy to fall into discouragement, especially once classes begin, and the curriculum is not as easy to grasp as it was in high school. If one hopes to succeed there's a new level of achievement necessary, and this can often cause some to feel "less than." And so, we tend to judge ourselves by how others are doing, rather than just being accepting of who we are and adjusting our pace accordingly. And it's never a sign of failure to need help to get through a tough course load. 

I recently read this quotation from Max Lucado from his book No Wonder They Call Him The Savior:

"You are valuable just because you exist. Not because of what you do or what you have done, but simply because you are. Remember that. Remember that the next time you are left bobbing in the wake of someone's steamboat ambition. Remember that the next time some trickster tries to hang a bargain basement price tag on your self-worth.... Just think about the way Jesus honors you...and smile."

I think Max spoke some pretty good advice for any age, because we all fall into the rabbit hole of defeat at times. Life is hard, and people can be cruel sometimes...or maybe not cruel, but callous for the wear and tear on their lives. I also love the wise sayings of Winnie the Pooh who once told Piglet some advice that Christopher Robin may first have said to him: "Always remember you are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, smarter than you think, and loved more than you ever know."

 O, how we need more Winnie the Poohs in this world today! 

Day 230 In the Sheepfold

 

8/18/2026

"Do you pray often enough for God to 

recognize your voice?"

Daily Walk

 

Yesterday when I was writing my blog I shared about my struggles with prayer, because of the continuous chaos of this world and continuous spiritual attack that has been coming after me and my family. It's not that I am not praying, as that is what I am called to do as an intercessor, and regardless of how I may be feeling, my life is hidden in Christ. My concern has been with the varying opinions of others that do not align with God's Word, and the distractions that are seeming to take the place of time on our face before God repenting of our inconsistency in prayer or lack thereof. This is a very dark time as the enemy is working overtime in an attempt to destroy our country. Those who appear to be well-meaning in calling prayer meetings are really holding events that may include prayer, but they have too many people sharing their points of view when the only point of view, and the only opinion that is important is God's. We must repent of attempting to build our own credence and denying the power of Almighty God. 

I am now reading and studying the book of Ezekiel who is a younger contemporary of Jeremiah. While Jeremiah is in Judah warning of the coming destruction of Jerusalem, Ezekiel is already in Babylon with Israel in exile. Although their missions were the same, warning the people of God of impending doom and destruction because of the horrendous sins and their failure to repent, their delivery was different. According to the overview in My Daily Walk: "Ezekiel was given the task of describing to a band of spiritually blind Jews the Person and program of their God. But before he was qualified to do that, Ezekiel needed his own spiritual eyesight checked, in order to gain a clear, fresh perspective of the great and glorious God he was called to represent." 

We, the readers, are challenged to examine how well we know the God that we are supposed to be representing to those we come in contact with each day - our families, communities, churches, places of employment, and even in our own quiet time with the Savior.

Although Ezekiel's prophecies were bleak detailing the total destruction of Jerusalem, while the leaders of Judah watched helplessly, and all appeared bleak and hopeless, God offers encouragement through Ezekiel (11:19): "I will give you one heart and a new spirit. I will take from you your hearts of stone and give you tender hearts of love for God."  This is a picture of our God, the Holy One of Israel, who punishes those He loves only to offer a fresh beginning, an opportunity to serve Him and make Him Lord. Throughout Scripture this is the God we serve, who offers us hope in our helplessness and who desires above all to have relationship with us. He accomplishes this through the shed blood of Jesus Christ our Savior and Lord who died on the cross for our sins, washing us clean, so we could stand before a Holy God.

Do you know His voice? Do you hear Him calling? Psalm 91:1-2 promises: "He who dwells in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress; My God, in Him I will trust."

Some wonderful sisters in the Lord once shared with a struggling Pastor that if he wanted to grow in his relationship with God and build his faith and ministry that all he had to do was: "Find the love of Jesus and love Him back."  That's the key! Along with Billy Graham's wonderful advice - "Stick to the Book!"

Go and do likewise.  

Day 229 Break of Day

 

8/17/2026

 "I ought to spend the best hours of the day

in communion with God."

E. M. Bounds

 

Last night I was so exhausted that I fell asleep, sitting on the sofa, with a glass of iced tea in my hand. Fortunately, I had finished the last of my tea, before I completely dozed off, waking up to the sound of the glass hitting the floor. For some reason it didn't fracture, not even a crack in the glass. It was only 10:30 pm, and I normally stay up a little longer. So I got ready for bed and was soon fast asleep. I remember waking up abruptly at 5:30 am knowing that I needed to pray. I repented for my lazy prayer habits recently, as I feel as if I have not been as attentive to everyone's individual needs as I should be. I have been so concerned with the inconsistencies I have been noticing within the groups, that I have begun to question every motive I have. That is if I even have any motives other than to lift up a need to prayer. The chaos and confusion of this world has reached into so many areas of ministries, and I am taken aback by the enormity of it all. So, I stepped back, still praying, but not with the same fervor. 

My son, Daniel, was heavily on my heart, as well as some other individuals, so I began to seek Abba for direction. My "list" has grown so incredibly, and trying to keep one list updated has become impossible. So, I began with what has been written on my heart - just me and Abba, as it should be. Eventually I drifted back off to sleep after an hour or so, but I woke up again before the alarm went off. I remember dreaming a crazy dream, but I couldn't make much sense of it. At least I woke up in a better frame of mind, my thoughts more cohesive, my focus clear.

I noticed that my window had been closed in my room, and then in several of the rooms in the house. I was beginning to think I'd been sleep walking at some point in time. Apparently it rained early in the morning, and my son was up and closed the windows. He said it had been another gully washer, but oddly, I slept through it. I guess I needed the sleep and rest to prepare me for my day, although it has been less problematic than most I've been having recently. I did receive one email that made me wonder if common sense had completely been removed from people's thought processes. So many problems could be solved today if people would stop wasting time on senseless habits that lead to ridiculous ideas that are nothing but nonsense. I call those distractions not worthy of anyone's time or energy, and yet...!! So I did what any intelligent individual would do, I unsubscribed.

I've been watching the movie Jesus Revolution about the 1971 movement that began in California at Calvary Chapel, Pastor Chuck Smith, that broke out when a group of hippies were invited to his church. It's also the story of Greg Laurie and his spiritual journey that led him to pastor Harvest Ministries in California. The movement spread across the United States, and has been called the largest. I used to listen to Pastor Chuck every day when I worked in the lab at Medical College in Richmond, and I now host a group online study for Harvest Ministries. I've been involved with his ministry since the Covid outbreak, but the story is not the usual way things begin. Nonetheless, I'm still hosting, and ladies are still gathering. Although Pastor Chuck has passed on to his eternal home, Pastor Greg still has annual Harvest Crusades and performs baptisms at Pirate's Cove, as noted in the movie. It's an inspirational "must see" movie.  

Waking up early and spending the first quiet hour alone with God, before the cat hears motion and begins to meow, or I reach for a cup of coffee or turn on music, is the best time to listen to what our Father is saying. We get so caught up in doing "good things" that sometimes time alone with Him takes second place to even the cup of coffee. Even Jesus had to get alone with His Father: "He went out into a mountain to pray, and continued all night." (Luke 6:12). There's something about going up the mountain to get alone to pray. I know I've missed the mountains of New Mexico where I spent the better part of my life. But then I remember as a child how I'd meet Him on the big rock in the Puryear's woods or up a tree.

"In prayer, the heart leaps to meet with God just as a child  runs to his mother's arms, ever sure that with her is the sympathy that meets every need." E.M. Bounds 

Day 228 Timelines

 

8/16/2026 

"Our sense of sin is in proportion to our nearness to God."

 Daily Walk

 

For several days I have been trying to catch up with my daily reading. I'm just finishing up with Jeremiah which consists of very strong warnings from God to the people of Judah. For forty years the prophet Jeremiah had faithfully obeyed God to the letter in pronouncing judgment on Judah and the city of Jerusalem unless they turned from their evil ways back to serving Him. The leaders had not taken his words seriously over all this time, and they became very incensed with him and threatened to kill him. Jeremiah and God's other prophets sent to the Israel and Judah to warn them of the impending doom, death and exile fell on deaf ears, and the people failed to accept God's offer of forgiveness - after repeated attempts. Although it appeared that the prophet Jeremiah failed to turn the nation back from sin, the message that God entrusted to him was delivered faithfully. Some kings responded to other prophets and made reforms, as did King Josiah who made sweeping reforms in Judah, but his sons did not follow in his footsteps. 

In spite of the destruction of Jerusalem and the exile of the people to Babylon, God promises restoration to His remnant and a return to the land of Israel where they will live in their own land lush with every blessing, and they will never be taken from their homes again. This is God's promise, and we are seeing it come to fruition in this day, as many Jews are heeding the call of God to return to their ancestral home of Israel. 

Every word that God had spoken through Jeremiah to the people had come true, and Babylon had taken all but a few poor inhabitants, left to tend the land, to exile in Babylon. Jeremiah was shown favor by the king's leader and was allowed to stay in Judah. A governor was chosen and left to watch over the affairs for Babylon. God gave Jeremiah a message about the destruction of Babylon saying that He was going to use the Medes and Persians to exact His vengeance on them for their treatment of the Jewish people and for the destruction of His Temple. God designated Cyrus as His chosen instrument to bring justice against Babylon in the Book of Isaiah in chapters 44 and 45 which was written about 150-200 years before the reign of Cyrus. 

As those who follow prophetic timelines in Scripture love to point out, God has His modern day heroes He has chosen to fulfill Israel's redemptive purpose in the end times. Although I have not particularly been one who paid attention to such fine details in history previously, I admit that it is hard to miss when Bible study becomes a daily part of your life. I don't know how pastors and teachers have missed all that they have and continue to do, and it is not being taught in church or Bible studies at church for the most part.  I find it fascinating watching the prophetic time clock tick, seeing what is happening in our national and international history. Nothing takes God by surprise. He is the Author and Finisher of our faith, and Creator of all of Heaven and earth. These are exciting times even in the midst of a chaotic and deeply disturbing time we now find ourselves when evil is called good and good is called evil. The enemy has been strategically playing his hand, moving in his players to divide and conquer our nation. We are seeing the greater threats of Islam and Communism threaten our nation while distractions are being set up to keep people active and confused. Antisemitism is growing and persecution of Christians with imprisonment is becoming more prevalent. All while the church is sleeping. Much is being covered up by social media. Why would American citizens want to sit idly by or encourage the destruction of their own country?

What will it take to open the eyes of the people? When will the church step up and establish the Kingdom of God? Revival is the answer, but repentance starts first, because God says that judgment begins in the house of the Lord.

Day 227 Escape

 

8/15/2026

 "The unrest of this weary world is its unvoiced 

cry for God."

 

It's late, and soon another day will begin. The one thing that I wanted for my birthday this year was to separate myself from the insanity of this world, if only for a couple of days. As an intercessor I cannot shut myself away completely, as I have daily calls, and yet in some ways that is exactly what I need to do. The unnecessary noise of voices wanting to be heard, wanting to be lauded for their ability to pray louder, longer, or say just the right words. In many ways this is what it seems to me that intercession has or is becoming in many circles. 

My quiet times with God have always been so special, and even now as I write these words, I am examining the motives of my own heart, because it has never been and never will be my intention or my desire to criticize the sincerity of another's seeking heart. My Father knows my imperfections, and He knows that we are but flesh, so He knows we will fail. Had He not known these things, why send Jesus to redeem us, to save us from the sinfulness of our own hearts?! Besides which the true accuser of the brethren is busy spreading his own deceit and vile intentions. Followers of Christ need to be wary of his devices so as not to fall into his evil snare, as many already have done.

I've been sitting quietly with Abba all my life, as much as anyone can be aware of from an early age. The quietness of His presence, and the times when His voice is more urgent. During the periods in my life when I faltered in my attention towards Him, Holy Spirit never abandoned me. I always felt Him near me. Even now, as I wrestle with these feelings that are laid heavily on my heart, occupying my thoughts, I still feel His nearness to me. I can never chase Him away. I never want to separate myself from my Abba Father, as I am solely dependent on His wise counsel and His path for my life. I will gather my prayer points, as needed, from others as we stand together, but I have felt the need to guard my heart and mind from the influence of others and seek only His voice. The chatter, the prattle that seems to never stop, simply noise that has become so loud, often empty, as I realize the subtly of the enemy. I know he seeks to destroy my peace, steal my joy, separate me from meaningful fellowship with like-minded lovers of God. But I also know that although I step away, I will always return much stronger, with greater discernment and a greater understanding of how to continue the fight.

The daily news is non-stop, and many times duplicate reports I have already received. I even find Christian news sources to be confusing and many times filled with unnecessary opinions, offering information that is unsuitable to be shared with the public. It reminds me of housewives meeting at the back fences to gossip, much like the prayer chains exchanging concerns for prayer purposes, never, of course, gossip. If we are truthful, at some time in our lives we have all engaged in such unnecessary sharing. I prefer to know facts and leave the rest for God to reveal. I prefer simpler ways to gather truth. In reading through the Bible this year, the Lord has been directing me to keep my focus on Him and to guard the integrity of my heart and mind. I am to focus only on the Word of God. That is what I've always tried to do, but I am to check my motives each day. 

Saturday evenings are my late nights "on the wall" as I join other intercessors who each have a time period set to pray for six national leaders. I must admit that this is not my favorite period of intercession, as I feel so inadequate to break through the thick hedge of evil that surrounds so many of our leaders. Generally there are more praying than a single individual, yet from 11:30 pm until 12 midnight I am alone on the prayer wall. I generally begin earlier and stay later, because I study backgrounds to see who I am lifting in prayer, how their lives began. Often one may begin their lives with honorable intentions to bring change to the government, healthy goals that could truly benefit our nation for good, yet somewhere in between on their journey up the ladder of success, they change. Many times I don't think they realize how much they have deviated from their initial goals, the ones closer to God's heart. And I feel that fear of others more powerful forces the actions in certain regards.

I have become very tired, not of the battle, rather tired of the attitudes of intercessors who seem to think God needs us. It reminds me of a scene in The Chosen series when Jesus tells Simon the Zealot that He doesn't need him or anything, but He wants him and has chosen him as a disciple to follow Him. God created us in His own image to be in relationship with Him, and His purpose is to build His Kingdom - the Kingdom of God - on this earth. Jesus came to fulfill the works of His Father. He says it many times in the Scriptures, yet no one was listening then, and I often wonder who is listening now. The church is busily engaged in its own agenda, building their own kingdom of sorts, however well intentioned their initial plans had been, even when it comes to what they call revival. 

But, it's late, and I've rattled on long enough. Only God sees and understands me and what I am trying to say, the sincerity of my heart and the compassion I feel for my brothers and sisters in Christ. This battle is real, and my heart heavy, but perhaps I can yet do some good in prayer on the wall tonight as I lead into a new day may it bring hope that can come only from steadfast trust in Him alone.