Day 42 Restoration

 

2/11/2026

 "Not to us, LORD, not to us, but to Your Name give glory,

because of Your mercy, because of Your truth. Why

should the nations say, 'Where, then is their God!'

But our God is in the heavens; He does

whatever He pleases."

Psalm 115:1-3

 

The first words I heard this morning as I turned on my computer were the old hymn, I Need Thee Every Hour. Words so familiar to me, from childhood, hearing my mother singing, "I need Thee every hour, most gracious Lord; no tender voice like Thine can peace afford. I need Thee, O I need Thee; every hour I need Thee! O bless me now, my Savior, I come to Thee." Such sweetness filled the air, the scent of heaven. My immediate prayer, as I often pray, is for the Spirit of Truth to rule and reign in my life. O, how I need direction every day, just to keep myself strong in the Lord and able to withstand whatever comes my way. In Hosea 6:1-3 the prophet Hosea is calling Israel to repentance and healing: "Come, and let us return to the LORD; for He has torn, but He will heal us; He has stricken, but He will bind us up. After two days He will revive us; on the third day He will raise us up, that we may live in His sight. Let us know, let us pursue the knowledge of the LORD. His going forth is established as the morning; He will come to us like the rain, like the latter and former rain to the earth." 

At this time many are praying for true revival to hit the church, like a tsunami wave, just as in the 1970's during the Jesus Revolution. Many smaller revivals have been sparked in the earth since that time, and many are coming to know Jesus in the current generations that many say will not turn their eyes upon Jesus. Only God sees the heart of a person, and I do not claim to know who is legitimately saved or not, as it is not my position to judge. But what I do know is that many young people, particularly young men are running to the churches in search of truth, and not a few, but in droves! I mentioned this briefly in yesterday's post. Young men, future heads of their households, priests in their home, are the first to seek for truth. They're not looking for a watered down version of the Word or looking for a Sunday party to join. They want the to know Jesus Christ and Him crucified. When Hosea speaks of the former and latter rains on the earth, it is a type of rain like Holy Spirit falling on the disciples in the Upper Room on the day of Pentecost where the true church of Jesus Christ was birthed, and true revival and reformation were born. Many were added to the Lord on that day, and this was just the beginning the the movement of Jesus Christ through His disciples. From that point on the world was turned upside down by the teaching of the Word by the disciples and those who were taught by them. The harvest is ripe for harvest right now, but the church has been asleep. Now is the time to arise and shine. 

God has promised to bless Israel double for her sins according to Isaiah 40:1-5:

"'Comfort, yes, comfort My people!' says your God. 'Speak comfort to Jerusalem and cry out to her, that her warfare is ended, that her iniquity is pardoned; for she has received from the LORD's hand double for all her sins.' The voice of one crying in the wilderness: 'Prepare the way of the LORD; make straight in the desert a highway for our God. Every valley shall be exalted and every mountain and hill brought low; The crooked places shall be made straight and the rough places smooth; the glory of the LORD shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together; for the mouth of the LORD has spoken.'" 

Right now in Jerusalem young people are gathered for their annual forty days to fast and pray for revival in Israel. The prayers include the born again Christian Arabs who live in Jerusalem who are at this time experiencing persecution. It seems as if the whole of the Middle East is ripe for harvest. As the Persian people of Iran are protesting for freedom from the dark regime who has terrorized them for so many years, the underground church of Iran is exploding in growth. The fields are truly ripe for harvest. While this is an intensely evil time, as the demonic gods are roaming around seeking whom they may devour, our God is moving and has been doing so mightily. We as the church must pay heed to 2 Chronicles 7:12-14 and repent, humble ourselves corporately before the LORD, seeking Him, turning from our wicked, evil ways, so that He will hear our cries, and heal our land. As Jesus hung on the cross for the sins of the world, as the sinless Lamb of God, His last words found in Luke 23:34 were: "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." Dying, hanging on the cross, before those who betrayed Him, He cried out in mercy for all of us. We are all guilty.

In Psalm 85 the sons of Korah pray for the LORD to restore favor to the land, and these prayers, and the promise of the Father, resound in the whole of scripture. God has a plan for restoration of Israel in the end time church. We who are believers in Christ, mercifully grafted in as branches, must pray for the restoration of Israel and the salvation of her people. We stand in support, and we pray, grateful to God for extending His mercy and grace to us.

"I will hear what God the LORD will speak, for He will speak peace to His people and to His saints; but let them not turn back to folly. Surely His salvation is near to those who fear Him, that glory may dwell in our land. Mercy and truth have met together; righteousness and peace have kissed. Truth shall spring out of the earth, and righteousness shall look down from heaven. Yes, the LORD will give what is good; and our land will yield its increase. Righteousness will go before Him, and shall make His footsteps our pathway." (Psalm 85:8-13). 

Merciful Father, hear our prayers, O LORD, and heal Your land. Pour out the power of Your Holy Spirit upon us, we, Your people; hear our cries of repentance, as we turn from our sins, heal this land. Save Your Chosen People Israel, and awaken the Christian church, so she will rise and shine, giving You glory, honor and praise. May we stand united in prayer for the peace of Jerusalem that we may prosper who love her. Forgive us, O LORD, we pray, and restore us with Your mercy and righteousness, in Jesus' Name. Amen.  

Day 41 Clarity

 

2/10/2026

 "Be still before the Lord and wait

patiently for Him."

Psalm 37:7

 

Here I sit, pen in hand, phone beside me, much like the my little teddy bear above. So much happens in my day it seems, and I am surrounded by clutter, stacks of papers, not knowing which pile to sort through first. My computer does not have the capability that I need for some correspondence, but I did discover an alternate way around one dilemma. There always seems to be something happening, changes needing to be made, and continuous warnings about my computer being cluttered, even after I have cleaned it and had to reload all my passwords! I also have something new popping up on my computer screen wanting to take the place of my current browser that I'm using. I'm skeptical of changes, because there is so much fraudulent activity going on, plus I always feel that "if it ain't broke, don't fix it!" I realize that my English grammar is incorrect, but then, that's the cliche!

My cat, Alex, who seems to stay inside the house more lately, is plopped on my bed, lounging as if he feels this is "his" house. Mia would differ, as my son has had her much longer than my occasional visitor. Plus she seems to roam freely, and attempts to push her way over to his food bowl, when she is the only one who gets special treats for seniority. Cats are strange creatures, but somehow they seem to endear themselves to many people. As for Alex, he's not fully vested with me, so he has times when he's put outside, and he seems to enjoy his freedom to come and go, so it works out.

I've been following the daily Facebook posts of a dear lady in North Carolina whose husband has been going through a difficult health issue. It's scary how things can go from normal to unimaginable in a very short period of time. Such is the case with this lady's husband's health, but through it all her faith has sustained her. She has wonderful church support and so many friends. It's wonderful to see the body of Christ come forward to stand beside and tangibly help a brother and sister in need. I wish it happened more often here. Perhaps it does, and I am not privy to it, but the church, sadly, is not as it should be. Too many are burrowing their head in the sand, waiting out the evil that has been unleashed into the world. We can't hide from it or treat it as if it is going away. Jesus told us it was going to happen. He gave us the warning signs. I feel so helpless to get people to understand that we need to become bold like the very first church of the apostles. 

Each day we pray for our leaders, local, State, and federal including all three branches - executive, legislative, and judicial. There is so much ugliness and hatred in our nation and blatant disrespect for our present administration. No longer are public figures afraid to speak threats against a sitting President or his administration. The violence in the States, in the streets, and sheer evil. It really isn't surprising in light of the prophetic time line, knowing that the enemy knows his time is short, so he's calling in more evil to assist him. Regardless of how much harm he causes, though, the battle has already been won by Jesus when He died for the salvation of mankind. The Son of God disarmed principalities and wickedness. So what makes so many people lean towards divisiveness and wickedness? It's exhausting trying to keep up with all the needs, but I refuse to buckle under the load. The battle is not mine or yours, it belongs to the Lord according to 1 Samuel 17:47, and according to Zechariah 4:6 "It's not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit, says the Lord Almighty." The Lord was speaking to Zerubbabel about the rebuilding of the temple being accomplished only by His Spirit and not by any human power or might. We do well to remember that in all situations, and to remind God of His Word. If pastors would truly teach their flock the power of the Word of God, as the scriptures says in 2 Corinthians 10:3-6 that the weapons of our warfare are not carnal or worldly, but spiritual, because our battle is not of flesh and blood. Not the true battle that is being waged in the heavens. But we are told to stand in the gap, on the wall, united in prayer fully trusting God to watch over His Word to perform it.

As I am seeking God in my quiet time for the right words He would have me pray, I remember these words:

“But Jesus told him, ‘Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and then looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God.’” (Luke 9:62 NLT)

"Whoever does not take up their cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me. Whoever finds their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life for My sake will find it. (Matthew 10:38-39)

"I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain, and I will continue with all of you for your progress and joy in the faith, so that trough my being with you again your boasting in Christ Jesus will abound on account of me." (Philippians 1:20-26)

"My heart says of You, "Seek His face!" Your face, LORD, I will seek." (Psalms 27:8) 

There's another verse that tells us to seek the Lord while He may be found, and right now I think that's a great place to begin! Down on our faces before God in repentance and humility, earnestly seeking His mercy and grace in time of need. Hineni! 

 

Day 40 Seeing and Knowing

 

2/9/2026

"For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; 

now I know in part, but then I will know fully, 

just as I also have been fully known." 

1 Corinthian 13:12 

 

This morning in our prayer call we were talking about the frustration of trying to explain truth to people who have been blinded by deception. It's a very sad thing to witness what is happening in our world today, seeing once faithful followers of the Word turn in another direction, having been craftily persuaded to think things that are not scriptural. Others are brought up in churches where the whole counsel of God's Word has not been taught. It doesn't make them evil-minded, just uninformed, or as the scripture says unenlightened. Romans 10:14 says, "How, then can they call on Him they have not believed in? And how can they believe without hearing about Him? And how can they hear without a preacher?" This describes what is happening in Israel when they are not taught references to the birth of Christ, as these sections are not read in synagogue. It is curious to me since the Bible was written by Jewish authors, and the foretelling of Jesus Christ is so intensely described by many prophets who never came in contact with each other. Then again, in modern churches the Old Testament is not taught, because there is the misconception that it holds little relevance to the modern day covenant Jesus spoke about. Replacement Theology teaches that the old covenant given to Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is no longer relevant, and that the church has taken the place of the children of Israel. Then there is the fulfillment theology teaching that all prophesies have been fulfilled and that Israel does not have a part in the restoration of the church. I may be explaining it crudely, but the church has forgotten that Jesus is a Jew, and neither Jesus nor God, as stated many times in the Old Testament scriptures, would never turn from His chosen people of Israel. All of it seems like utter foolishness to me, as the scriptures seem very clear to me. 

When Paul wrote to the church in Ephesus he prayed that the eyes of the believers would be open to the truth of the Word: 

"Therefore I also, after I heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, do not cease to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers: that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give to you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, and what is the exceeding greatness of His power toward us who believe, according to the working of His mighty power which He worked in Christ when He raised Him from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly places, far above all principality and power and might and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in this age but also in that which is to come. And He put all things under His feet, and gave Him to be head over all things to the church, which is His body, the fullness of Him who fills all in all." (Ephesians 1:15-23).

Paul is praying for the Gentile believers in Ephesus that they would grow in the knowledge of Christ and understand their position in Him, seated in heavenly places with God the Father in Heaven. I love Ephesians, as it explains the life of the follower of Christ in three simple categories of "Sit, Walk, Stand." I'll leave that for the reader to discover.

In the morning discussion an upcoming conference was discussed about the importance of coming to Israel, getting to experience being in the land, and talking to the people. How a light comes on, and the prophetic end time part Israel will play is revealed by the power of Holy Spirit drawing a person to the awareness of God's plan for the restoration of Israel as spoken of by Old Testaments prophets. When I heard that explanation my heart jumped as I understand, as much as anyone can, the significance of Israel explained in the scriptures. And I have yet to go to Israel. I want to go, and I prayed about it multiple times, but I felt God telling me, not yet. But when I sit in the meetings, or I am involved in other relationships I have with Jewish believers, even though it may be online viewing, I feel the earth beneath my feet, and feel the warm, dry air. God has given a revelation of His great love for His land and His Chosen People. I feel like part of the family already. Imagine how full and complete my joy will be when one day I am blessed to go. How or why I know, I cannot answer, but with that understanding I am trying to educate leaders, so they can in turn educate others. As one man said "Once you see, you cannot unsee," and I fully understand that truth about the identity of the Jewish people and the role of the church. But, there is the cost of knowing the truth that some do not wish to give, because once one becomes a true ally of Israel, persecution becomes very real. Antisemitism is on the rise more each day, and violence can be deadly. When Jesus explained how a true follower must die to self daily, pick up his cross, He wasn't kidding. Many have given their lives to follow Jesus in Africa and other nations, and even in America many want to destroy religious freedom. Many fear the sense of not belonging, but that is something I have felt for many years, even in the established church. With Christ I am never alone. 

When passion for the love of God is all consuming, we don't become concerned about threats or violence or even death. Charlie Kirk lived that kind of boldness, and yes, he paid for it the ultimate price of his death. But he finished his race, the one that God put him here on this earth to do, and now we are witnessing the fruit of his labor for Christ. Many young people, especially young men, are running to the church, buying Bibles, seeking God, being born again. Revivals are breaking out all over the place, but so is a rash of violence. When Harvest Ministries hosted Turning Point USA's Make Heaven Crowded crusade a couple of weeks ago, protestors showed up attempting to disrupt the service, but they couldn't. No one can stop what God has put into place. "A man's heart plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps" (Proverbs 16:9). Psalm 37:5-6 says "Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday." When did serving God become so hated in America?

When young David, a young shepherd, heard the giant Goliath blaspheming God, he didn't hesitate to run boldly forward with only a sling and five stones to slay the "uncircumcised Philistine." His eyes were not on the danger, his eyes were firmly focused on God, using the weapon he had in his hands. We may not feel qualified or adequate to do what God calls us to do, as Moses, yet God will always give us what we need to complete the job. Moses had a shepherd's staff that became the rod of God. We are armed with the Word of the Lord which is a powerful sword according to Hebrews 4:12 dividing spiritual truth from error. Paul has already done that in Romans 9-11, but many are not able to correctly divide the word of truth. 

I don't know why God chose me, a mere woman, whom many modern denominations outlaw as teachers much less any of the five gifts of the Spirit. I understand why women should allow men to be the spiritual leaders, because that's God plan, but He also called women. I don't aspire to any position, I only want to be obedient to the revelation that He has given me. That's why I write, and I pray that in doing so it will provoke curiosity in the reader to search out the scriptures for themselves. We should never take things at face value, but search out a matter, go to the source of all wisdom, the Word of God, and sit at the feet of Jesus. If you're seeking truth, it's the only way!   

Day 39 The Journey

 

2/8/2026 

"Give me your tired, your poor, your

huddled masses yearning to breathe free."

Emma Lazurus

"The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a 

stronghold in time of trouble."

Psalm 9:9

 

Today I happened upon a quotation by Emma Lazurus (1849-1887), an American poet who was known as an activist and a forerunner to modern Zionism. She wrote powerful essays and poems that focused on the Jewish immigrants coming to make their homes in America, and she fought hard for their support and stood boldly against antisemitism. The quotation above is written on the base of the Statue of Liberty which stands as a welcoming beacon to all men and women, immigrants from the sea, seeking a new home in a country that is safe and free. It would appear as if this dream of solidarity offered to immigrants is eroding, but I don't feel that this is the case entirely, and it never could be as long as we remain One Nation Under God. Contrary to what protesters are saying, America stands as an open door for those needing safety and refuge and for those who desire to make a new life in America, as an American citizen. The danger has come in recent years from a blatant disregard for the safety and welfare of the citizens who already call America home. Because of open borders, many immigrants attempting to come here, have become the victims of traffickers and drug cartels. So many children disappeared and many people were killed, because of the wrongful practice of government at that time. Today, in an attempt to make citizens of America safe again, certain actions have had to take place, but the whole story is not being accurately portrayed, and, as in the case of Minneapolis, protesters are strategically being placed there to make matters worse. This has been a strategy used to incite riots and violence over the years, and it has nothing to do with the welfare of others, but of selfish gain. It is a sad thing to witness, but I fear that it may be coming soon to neighborhoods nearby.

Immigration has been a huge part of our history, and this is why America, especially the eastern states has been called a melting pot for many foreign travelers who desire to make America their home and become part of the heritage. I appreciate the dreams of others, as I am a dreamer myself. There are many opportunities if one applies themselves and works within the systems of government or the private sector. Entrepreneurs are always welcome, and we have so much history of inventors in our country who paved the way for success for others. I love the history of America, and the contributions made by others over the years - Eli Whitney for the cotton gin; Washington Irving for storytelling; Alexander Graham Bell for the telephone; Elias Howe for the sewing machine, and Thomas Edison for the light bulb. George Washington Carver was a 20th Century inventor who discovered countless uses of the peanut. Amazing accomplishments from creativity and innate genius gifted by a loving Father. We have much to be thankful for in our country. In considering the contributions made by the Jewish immigrants in early America we have much to be grateful for in their pioneering work in the garment industry, advanced medicine like the discovery of the polio vaccine by Jonas Salk, and even building of Hollywood in the earlier days when modesty was vogue. Our Jewish Americans also led the way with civil rights, worker's rights, freedom of religion, and peace movements. And when we go back to earlier times we have our Jewish brethren to thank for giving us the Holy Bible.

In my connection with the International Christian Embassy in Jerusalem, I was so pleased to learn of the agricultural project - the Agro-Tech School, where they are building greenhouse classrooms in the Eshcol area of Israel, where you may recall the 10 spies Moses sent into the Promised Land brought back the huge grapes and other samples of the produce from the land as proof of the viability of the land. Quoting from ICEJ regarding the focus of this project: "The goal is to train the next generation of young Israelis so that they can help rebuild the agricultural sector, bring innovation to an industry that remains vital to national food security, and connect with the Land of Israel." It has been reported that many young people are enrolling in great numbers, abandoning the ideas of higher income jobs many desire so that they can devote their time and energy to building up the land of Israel, restoring it to what God intended it to be. God has always been very serious about the land, and He warned in scripture that the boundary lines were never to be moved. Yet, we see contention to this day. 

I just finished reading the book of Leviticus, and in Chapters 25 and 26, God give specific requirements for the land and warning for those who do not obey. Every seventh year the land is to have a sabbatical rest where no crops are planted, a practice still obeyed today, so that the land can replenish itself. If His rules are not obeyed, the consequences can be very great, as He warns in Leviticus 25:17:23:

"You must fear your God and not overcharge! For I am Jehovah. Obey my laws if you want to live safely in the land. When you obey, the land will yield bumper crops and you can eat  your fill in safety. But you will ask, 'What shall we eat the seventh year, since we are not allowed to plant or harvest crops that year?' The answer is, 'I will bless you with bumper crops the sixth year that will last you until the crops of the eighth year are harvested!' Ad remember, the land is Mine, so you may not sell it permanently. You are merely my tenants and sharecroppers!" 

I remember my grandfather and my daddy allowing the land to rest in their gardens in order for the soil to replenish itself. It's exciting to know that God is the one who established the principle, and just as the land belongs to God in Israel, so He owns the land all over the world and everything in it. Psalms 24 begins: "The earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof, the world and they that dwell therein." 

My first job when I was twelve years old was working in the tobacco crop - handing leaves, tying, and putting the sticks up in the barn for smoking. I never smoked myself, but I sure enjoyed working in the field. Raw tobacco has medicinal value also, as it is used to draw poison from been stings. Mama used to keep raw tobacco around the house, as I was deathly allergic to bee stings. Papa would take me to the smokehouse in the evening to check on the hams too, and mama would get mad at me when I got into the lye. She was afraid to spank me for fear I'd get lye in my eyes. I used to eat tomatoes hot off the vine, and watermelons were my favorite treats. I love the earth. It saddened me when I moved back home, and I saw fields ripe with harvests of tobacco, corn, wheat left to dry out not being harvested, because the government paid the farmers not to harvest. I never understood the foolishness behind those decisions, and it seemed a shameful thing to me that farmers would bow to the powers that be. Being a farmer was a proud vocation, and I am so relieved to see that we have a Department of Agriculture in our government who is restoring the pride to our nation's farmers. Another great heritage in our nation's history which led to cotton gins and peanuts!

In closing I want to share the poem of Emma Lazurus dedicated to the Statue of Liberty that still rings true today: 

The New Colossus

By Emma Lazarus

 

"Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,

With conquering limbs astride from land to land;

Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand

A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame

Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name

Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand

Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command

The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she

With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Day 37 Let It Snow...Again

 

2/6/2026

 "If you listen carefully, the silence

is beautiful."

 

Morning sunshine soon gave way to cloudiness and eventually snow began to fall in early afternoon. It was beautiful, and the trees held the beauty of fresh-fallen snow, perfectly. In fact it was picture-perfect, but I never made it outside to capture the moment with a photo. Still, there's nothing as beautiful or as peaceful as fresh-fallen snow. I resisted the temptation to go out and walk around. It has been so bitterly cold, and the moisture still does not suit me. After so many years of experiencing Northern New Mexico snow, I cannot get use to the wetness of the snow here. Now I realize all snow is wet, but the humidity or pressure system or something makes a difference to this ole gal. Nonetheless, it is lovely, and calming, at least when I can stay put inside the house away from the threat of drivers on the road, it is relaxing. I much prefer staying inside, cuddled in my blanket by the heater where it's toasty warm. 

The day passed slowly, and I enjoyed a leisurely afternoon. Alex was particularly loving earlier as I was sitting in my bed reading. He kept inching closer and closer to me until his head rested on my arm. He seemed to enjoy listening to the soft sounds of worship music and hymns playing in the background as I wrote in my journal. He's a funny little guy. I've noticed before that he'll draw more closely to the end of the bed where I'm sitting in my rocker listening to my Friday evening services, as if he's really paying attention to the music. He also loves it when I sing quietly. Perhaps he's a kindred spirit after all. I wonder if this is how it is with old ladies who are fond of cats and always seem to have one curled up in their laps. 

I haven't really watched a movie in awhile, but my son has a habit of leaving on the television in the living room, and I noticed that one of my old time favorites, Hatari with John Wayne was coming on. It's set in Africa, and he has a business that captures wild animals for zoos. It also stars Red Buttons who always plays comedic roles, so the movie is fun. I was tired, so I decided to take a nap, but the movie was so entertaining that I watched it instead. I've always enjoyed movies set in Africa, as it's always been my dream to visit and maybe even live there. I believe this one in Tanzania, but my favorite areas are Uganda and Kenya. I often dream of safaris and life in the wild, but then I remember I'm not as young as I once was when adventures may have been easier. Still, I can dream. 

I decided I'd make popcorn and settle in for the evening. I think Field of Dreams is programmed to come on next. Now that's one that makes me think about possibilities, and it takes me back to the days when I was young. I lived in the country, so I really never got involved with the hippy scene. If I'd gone away to college, perhaps I may have walked on the wild side, but the only adventure I wanted was to join the Peace Corp back then. I was talked out of that one, too, and I wasn't one who went against the desires of my parents back then. I often wonder what would have become of me as an idealistic young gal on my own in the wilds of some foreign country. Another what if that is better left alone. I have always been a dreamer of sorts, and while that in itself is not a bad thing, if indulged for lengths of time, it leads to accomplishing very little. But for tonight I'll leave my dreaming days active only for the length of the movie, and then I'll yawn and have a nice night's rest. The close of a good day! 

Day 38 Don't Look Back!

 

2/7/2026

"Why do you cry to Me? Tell the children

of Israel to go forward."

Exodus 14:15  

It's Saturday, the Sabbath day of rest and relaxation, and I feel as if I have completely run out of gas, and my engine is shutting down! It's so cold this morning, and I've had another restless night. But, when I opened my eyes, breathed in my first deep breath of air, I decided not to waste time lounging, instead I'd grab a cup of coffee and settle into a quiet time before I eased myself into a new day. Last night I listened as Joshua Aaron read the scriptures for the today's message, so for once I didn't have to rush to finish reading before service began. I may be a little sleepy, but I knew it'd be a good day.

Refreshed from a cup of hot, steamy hazelnut coffee and a big bowl of oatmeal loaded with raisins and dried cherries, sprinkled with cinnamon, I felt ready to meet the day. The music was softly playing, and the words "Great is Thy faithfulness" graced my ears. I love the old hymns, and this one has a special place in my heart. It seemed appropriate considering how I'd started the day in total weariness, but now I was revived and ready to focus on the message of the day.

This week our Torah reading was based on Exodus 18 when Moses' father-in-law Jethro came for a visit to bring Moses' wife and son to meet him on the journey. Bill decided to back track to last week's Torah portion beginning in Exodus 13 at the Red Sea moment in the lives of the children of Israel. Moses is trying to settle the people down, as they appear to have reached a dead end, and the army of Pharaoh was hot on their heels. But God...! God had already alerted Moses, letting him know that He had caused Pharaoh to chase after them so that He could show them once and for all that He is God! Why is it that when we launch out into the deep, faith in tact, fully trusting God, that the moment something unexpected or uncomfortable happens, we want to retreat?! That's the way it happened with the people at the Red Sea. The people were grumbling that it would have been better to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness. Moses responded: "The LORD will fight for you, and you shall hold your peace." The LORD is hearing all this, so He responds to Moses:

"And the LORD said to Moses, 'Why do you cry to Me? Tell the children of Israel to go forward. But lift up your rod, and stretch out your hand over the sea and divide it. And the children of Israel shall go on dry ground through the midst of the sea."

Once more the LORD has to remind Moses of what he has in his hand - the rod or shepherd's staff. So Moses does what God says to do, and the seas part, the winds blow, and the people cross over safely, while the cloud of God's covering blinds the eyes of Pharaoh's army and holds them back. We know the end of that story, but not long after this miracle, the people will find something else to complain about, and on it goes. Our human nature says, "Won't they every learn?!" Yet are we any different, really? I know in my own life God has had to remind me to trust Him! I'm at one of those moments right now, in fact!

When unexpected things happen in our lives we begin to question and ask why? For me, I have often wondered over these four years if things were happening to me, because, once again, I did something out of His timing. But I know that's not true. But there are times that I want to go back, return to New Mexico where I had friends, a church, and I was comfortable. If something went wrong, I'd take care of it alone. I was used to that. Now, I have my son to consider, and I wonder about how things would be if he wasn't here. Prior to moving back I was alone for twenty years, but in truth I'd been alone most of my life. The point is that I was comfortable being alone, but things began to change after my daddy died, and I wondered if it was time to go home. So here I am. Things have been different, and although I enjoy the time spent with my son, it hasn't been easy. But then, following Jesus was never promised to be without challenges. 

I've been asking Abba to show me what I needed to see or understand in order to go forward instead of looking back. Why do I always think that I've done something wrong? or not heard God speak? The answer to that is probably because of my failures in life. Like the children of Israel I had launched out in boldness, courage, and self-confidence that I had not experienced in years. I always presented myself with a pseudo-self confidence, but deep down I would always questions myself. Old habits are hard to break, I guess. But here, I've had self-confidence, and it even became something I was proud about. After all, God had given me a great job, and I'd earned enough money to buy this house, paying my brother and sister their portion without having to take out a mortgage. I owned a very nice car, another gift from the Lord, and although I wasn't well off by any stretch of the imagination, my needs were met, with a little besides. I realized, as I always have, that everything belongs to God anyway, and He more than provides for my needs. We'd weathered problems with the furnace and other routine maintenance issues successfully, and we were able to go out for a meal at our favorite little restaurant just up the road once a month. We managed to sock up a little money towards a rainy day, and God was taking care of us. But I do admit that during all this I'd begin to compare myself with others and wonder what if something went wrong, what would I do? It's one thing to say I trust God, but do I really trust God?! So He decided to put me to the test to see if I'd continue forward trusting Him or want to run away. Then He made certain that I couldn't run away. It probably isn't that cut and dry, but it seemed to me to look and feel that way.

So, here I am. God provided for us to be able to put on a new roof at a wonderful price, but we had something happen we were not expecting. The car accident in early December, before Christmas. Since that happened I've been stuck. It took a month to hear anything about the car and settle things, followed by the news that my daddy's car was not able to be repaired. January brought more snow and bitter cold. Now it's February, and we haven't been able to look around very much, but thanks to the kindness of my sister and a couple of friends, we've managed to go to the grocery store and run errands. Now I realize that things could be a lot worse, but little things have become big things for me. I felt unsupported in the church I had been attending, When additional concerns surfaced regarding health issues, but my sister's kind pastor offered support. Some things have evened out, but other things have to be considered. It's never an easy ride. So here I am. Caught between the rock and a hard place. 

Today, however, I feel that I am beginning to understand what God has been trying to show me about myself, things I needed to settle within myself. Things I needed to change. And although it has been terribly humbling, these are things I have been wrestling with for some time, and I finally have more self-acceptance, because I'm not the only one God is speaking to about letting things go. We are called to surrender all to Jesus, put God first in our lives, before family, friends, anyone or anything. Pretty much this has been my life, and I've faced much criticism about it, and it has caused controversy within myself at times. I don't know where the journey will go tomorrow, but I do know there's much more I have to learn, and more areas that need straightening out. I'm willing to do whatever I need to do in order to finish the race set before me. So, I guess I'll see what tomorrow brings. 

Day 36 Things to Do

 

2/5/2026

 "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want."

Psalm 23:1

 

Where do I begin? Today was a very good day, and I was in a good mood, but then that is how I generally am - mood wise, that is. Lately, I've been concerned about some things, but whatever is going on, I seem to take most things in stride. And believe me, much has been going on of late, but regardless, I am determined to figure things out, with God's help. Today was one of those days. My sister has been so kind to me by helping me with grocery shopping, doctor's visits, and today with shopping for a new car. We headed out mid morning, and we spent the better part of the afternoon checking out possibilities. We had our eye on a great deal, but the test drive revealed a probable transmission problem. Fortunately, I have a great feel for idiosyncrasies, and my son, who's a mechanic, confirmed my suspicions. Very disappointing, but at least we have a good feel and understanding of cars. Our next possibility proved to be a much better car, with a great warranty, but it would require taking out a loan, and I'm not so certain that I want to do that. I'm never one to make decisions quickly or easily, as I like to consider my options. I imagine that's a good character trait, plus the Bible says to owe no man anything but to love one another. But then, there are times in life where we have to pay as we go. The experience was very enlightening as we learned how these car deals are put together from the young man assisting us. In fact he kept mentioning his mother, who it appeared is a God-fearing woman and who has obviously instructed her son well in God's laws and in kindness. I look forward to visiting with this young man again, as it would be great to give him our business. The dealership certainly found a great employee with a great understanding of customer service. I've never been "yes ma'am-ed" so much in one day, but it was nice.

Once home I had to finish getting ready for my evening Bible study, so I didn't have much time to think about the day. My son had been looking online for days checking out used cars. We never realized how many car dealers there were in the area. I imagine I got so used to living in small towns in New Mexico that I never considered how many places there were here. But then, moving back here after so many years has really been an eye-opener for me. A lot changes in thirty-five years! 

Bible study went well, and we have another new and welcomed addition to our ladies' group. Sometimes that makes me a bit timid, as I never know the personality of a new person, but I always manage to muddle through. We've been studying the gospel of Luke, and tonight the discussion was about Jesus' choosing the twelve disciples. I like to refer to the series The Chosen when considering personalities in Jesus' circle and those he encountered. Although the series embellishes somewhat, which is typical for television shows, I feel that Dallas has done a great job in capturing the character of the disciples by the scriptural descriptions and what's not said in scriptures but is implied in the culture. At any rate it's fun to think about why Jesus made the choices He did when gathering His followers. When the Pharisees and other religious leaders complained to Jesus about the company He kept, Jesus told them that he did not come to call the righteous to repentance but sinners. I don't think they every fully grasped what He was trying to tell them, as they squabbled quite a bit about the people Jesus preferred to spend His time with. We had a great discussion, and the even went by quickly. 

Tomorrow is another day, but I'm not planning on leaving the home, rather I have things to attend to right here. My cat, Alex, got pretty confused about my not being home all day, but once we returned, he soon came scratching at the door. He's getting pretty spoiled and has taken nicely to staying inside on these extremely cold days. He loves to sleep all day on my bed, and I'm getting used to having the mischievous fellow around. Next week we'll try the search again for the car, but I am still holding out for a miracle, and no one has been able to talk me out of that possibility. God moves in mysterious ways, and I need some of those right now. Until then, I'll be patient and keep my eyes on Him.