Day 201 Waiting to Hear

 

7/20/2026

 "The man who has no inner life

is a slave to his surroundings."

 

Once again God has veered me from the routine or imagined plans I had for my day. My daily walk through the Bible has slowed, because of the richness of the text. Isaiah is not a chapter one can easily skip through, as it calls for a deeper study. I think the buzz word is "deeper dive into scripture." I prefer to call it sitting at the feet of my Savior, listening to what He has to say to me for this day! Trust me, if you linger, He will meet you. He is always waiting for His children to sit awhile with Him. The scene of Him waiting reminds me of the image of a widow sitting silently by the window, a Bible and a telephone on the table beside her as she longingly looks out the window - hoping! Glancing, from time to time, sadly at the telephone, waiting for it to ring.  

The people of Judah are offered heaven's response to their sin and suffering in chapters 9 - 12 of Isaiah as the words announce the promise of Messiah, destruction of their enemies and foes, the promise of an eternal reign of Jesse's offspring, and ending with a hymn of praise! Sadly, those who have yet accepted Jesus as the Promised One, avoid reading and teaching these scriptures in synagogue. How can this be? And yet, we who say we know our Savior, who read them religiously each week in churches across this globe, do not accept them in our hearts. Do not fully recognize the truth so wonderfully announced in the words on gilded pages of God's word to His children. 

In previous chapters of Isaiah God was warning sinful, disobedient Judah of the fate that laid ahead of them for their willful reluctance to turn from their wicked, abominable sins and come back to Him. Isaiah warned of the Assyrian armies God would use to exact His wrath upon them, His promise to destroy them, have them taken to exile in a foreign land where they would live in bondage once again. Yet, within the passage God always promises a remnant, a handful of faithful ones He will spare to rebuild His kingdom, as He is faithful to the covenant given to Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob - His chosen people Israel. And in the passages of today He promises the fulfillment of prophecy in the coming of the Messiah, the Savior of the world who will save His people from their sins and the stronghold of the enemy. And yet...!

The cry of my heart is that the people of Israel will wake up and recognize that their Messiah has already come, and He is coming again. As they attend synagogue daily that they will awaken to the whole counsel of God's word. And for the Christians and the Messianic Jews who already know the truth of Jesus, that they will respond with courage and love and boldness and lead the people caught in bondage to the light of God's Son. And for the Christians here in America and across this world to rise up and do the same. Boldly calling on the Name of the LORD so that all will receive Christ and be saved to the glory of our Father in Heaven.

Jesus is waiting!  

Day 200 Nearer to Thee

 

7/19/2026

 "Let my prayer be set forth before Thee as incense;

and the lifting of my hands as the evening sacrifice."

Psalm 141:2

 

Sunday morning, the birds are singing ever so sweetly this morning as the sun rises and the rays pierce the skies. Their melody brings songs to my heart. Often I listen to music as I sit here quietly enjoying the view from my window. Tim Janis is a YouTube artist who plays soft instrumental music while sharing nature's abundance from different areas of the world. But my favorite scenes come from the snow-kissed mountains of the Southwest where I spent almost half of my life. As the music plays Tim records the sounds of nature. As the birds sing along with his songs, the birds outside my window join in the chorus with their own sweet melodies, offering an early morning concert in praise to God. His masterpieces are always the best!

Music affects me greatly whether it be simply instrumental, supported by beautiful landscapes and God's creatures great and small, or whether it be the elaborate orchestras, medieval minstrels, or joyous praise! As I listen words form on my lips and worship fills my heart. I am in the presence of my Father. Symphonies of heaven! So, as I am praying or reading my Bible, the words become so much more alive to me. It's as if they dance on the pages rejoicing in the melodies, each line becoming praise. Sitting silently often brings new revelation or an answer to prayer.  

As I sit quietly before the Lord this morning my silent prayer continues with Psalm 141:3-4, "Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips. Do not incline my heart to any evil thing." My prayer is always to be set apart to do my Master's will, drawing ever closely to Him. 

As if by clockwork the melody of a favorite hymn sweetly plays, and my mind goes back to a time in history when I last heard these chords playing in the background amidst panic and pain, the voices mixed with screams of terror and cries for mercy, children clinging to their parents, stewards not knowing how to help. I am of course referring to the sinking of the Titanic, and the music playing "Nearer My God to Thee." I recently watched the remake of this great classic first seen as a child, embellished quite a bit in modern days, but still my memory was fresh and the ending certain. God has a way of transporting our souls when He wishes to teach us compassion.

God can use movie soundtracks to evoke memories of the past whether the music is tragic or magical. It has always had that affect upon me, perhaps because I lean towards the artistic and creative. It's part of who I am, but it helps me relate to situations and to people and the difference attitudes - the places in their hearts. Survival instincts somewhat, I imagine.

The Psalm mentioned above requests a guard on my lips and watch care of my heart keeping me from evil thoughts or deeds. The enemy is so deceitful and clever in his ways. He has the innate character of distorting beauty and making evil look inviting. Music can also be used in that manner, so we guard our hearts again the devil's counterfeits. The Lord deserves the highest praise - always the first thing - the only thing! We must always keep our hearts and minds stayed on Christ Jesus. The words of the song the violinists were artfully playing offered hope for the 2, 224 passengers that day, hope of an eternal destiny.

"Nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee! E'en though it be a cross that raiseth me, still all my song shall be, nearer, my God, to thee; nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee! 

Though like the wanderer, the sun gone down, darkness be over me, my rest a stone; yet in my dreams I'd be nearer, my God, to thee; nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!

There let the way appear, steps unto heaven; all that thou sendest me, in mercy given; angels to beckon me
nearer, my God, to thee; nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!

Then, with my waking thoughts bright with thy praise, out of my stony griefs Bethel I'll raise; so by my woes to be nearer, my God, to thee; nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!

Or if, on joyful wing cleaving the sky, sun, moon, and stars forgot, upward I fly, still all my song shall be,
nearer, my God, to thee; nearer, my God, to thee, nearer to thee!"

The words unsung as the music softly played as many were welcomed home into the arms of their waiting Savior! 

Day 199 The Tale of Chicken Little

 

7/18/2026 

"Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,

the fruit of the womb is a reward."

Psalm 127:3

 

I strolled into the living room, my bowl of popcorn, in my hands, ready to see what movie was playing. My son leaves on the television many times, and since the last movie he was watching was the third installment of Star Trek - the Search for Spock - I figured the fourth movie would already be playing. But I was wrong. The movie playing was a futuristic space movie, so I thought...I'll give it a try.

The movie was already half way in the middle, and although it was difficult to follow, I seemed to follow the plot rather well for a person coming in at the middle of a chaotic space movie. Moonfall is an adequate name for the movie based on the synopsis which reads: "The world stands on the brink of annihilation when a mysterious force knocks the moon from its orbit and sends it hurtling toward a collision course with Earth. With only weeks before impact, NASA executive Jacinda "Jo" Fowler teams up with a man from her past and a conspiracy theorist for an impossible mission into space to save humanity." I must say that I couldn't think of a better way to snack on popcorn and consider my blog for today about restoring the family altar. 

The movie is depicting a world gone mad causing a cataclysmic disaster in space ruled by AI generated hosts - one yielding innovative influences while the other is trying to destroy all human life. In their cosmic battle of good versus evil, the moon is knocked out of place causing devastating effects on earth and influencing the weather dramatically. In short the battle in the skies is wreaking havoc on earth, threatening life on earth. Meanwhile, the earthly focus in on saving the world so children, on earth, will have a safe place to live. Ironically, the focus in this movie and our focus on this present age is always the same - the next generation. A military superior intent on blowing up the moon, or what the character in the movie  perceives to be our moon, in order to stop this alien force from destroying earth, hysterically shouts to his commander in charge, "The fate of the world is in the hands of your wife and a has been astronaut?!" He failed to include the conspiracy theorist in his analysis, but the sensationalism of the moment was achieved nonetheless. 

Ironically, when disaster movies are planned, the characters are trying to save humanity so their children can live in a better world. Right now the future of our children, specifically those identified as Gen X, are the focus of evangelism, as many consider them "lost" in their thinking. But this is not the case for many, as they are waking up, realizing that their hope is found on Christ alone. The males particularly are crowding churches, buying Bibles, searching for authenticity, no longer listening to the hype they've been fed previously. Many come from homes where there is no father, raised by their mother who is balancing home, family, and working one or two jobs to keep food on the table. Since COVID most people still consider Zoom their meeting place on Sunday, so normal local services and community outreach is primarily accomplished on a laptop once a week. But these kids are streaming into churches who are holding live services. While some churches are praying for revival, revival has already begun in some churches in isolated locations, and this is a result of the Gen Z desiring a change in their lives and best of all -  truth. 

As we gathered to pray this morning, our focus was on the family altar, as this is God's desire that it be reestablished in the home. The first covenant relationship God made was with the family when He created Adam and Eve and told them to be fruitful and multiply. Of course we know how that turned out, so God chose Abraham to become the father of the nations, and so our journey began. And yet, the family unit has been destroyed by divorce, single parent homes with little or no godly influence. The churches are failing miserably in not identifying the problem, and by not reaching out to their communities, regardless of whether they attend their church or not. 

We just celebrated our country's 250th anniversary, a nation established on godly principles by our forefathers who knew that a nation could not survive unless it was guided by moral principles. In many churches these moral truths based on God's word are not being taught. Yes, the basics are being told, but there is not conversation going on about what is happening in our lives today. Churches spout the words "separation of church and State" when they do not understand what our forefathers meant when they formed the rules for our nation. I have repeated it so many times that I am not going to do it now. The first thing we need to know is exactly what has been written in our Constitution and Declaration of Independence and many other documents we call laws that rule our land before we can debate on whether it says this or that. As Christians, we also need to get intimately related to the words written on the pages of Scripture - our Bible - which is the Book that should govern our lives, as it is God's inspired word, written by Holy Spirit through the pens of our Jewish neighbors. And mostly we need to pray, fast, and repent for our reluctance to throw God aside and lean to the understanding of men. The opinions of men, including women who are creating much harm and chaos in our nation today, and yet, they remain in office. It is very disconcerting to me, and I do not understand it, how an elected official who publicly announces their disdain for their country is allowed to remain in office. 

This movie reminds me of the children's fable about Chicken Little who got hit in the head by an acorn, and it thought that the sky was falling. The sky is falling, the weather is changing, and there is war in the heavens fighting a spiritual battle for the souls of our nation and world. It's time we wake up and decide who we will follow, as we have two choices - God or mammon. Good or Evil.  

Day 198 Still Willing

 

7/17/2026

"Then I heard the Lord asking, 'Whom shall I send as a messenger to my people? 

Who will go?' And I said, 'Lord, I'll go! Send me.'" 

Isaiah 6:8 

 

Today's another early day, as I have two appointments on top of my daily commitments, so I'll manage to get everything done, and I'll be prepared for my 7 pm Harvest group. Why do meetings and appointments always fall on Thursdays?! 

My son's early morning appointment went well, so I was able to attend my daily prayer call, and get over to my class luncheon at our local country restaurant. I had my mouth set for a stuffed baked potato, loaded with steak and cheese and pico de gallo - delicioso! It doesn't take much to make me content. We had more friends than expected, so we had to add another table. We've gotten together several times over the almost five years I've been back home, and I still do not recognize some of my old classmates. Perhaps if we got together more often it might be easier. Adding wives and husbands make it a bit harder, but it's nice meeting new people and seeing the old friends. I believe that our graduating class of 1968 was 124  graduates, but it's been such a long time ago, and sadly many have preceded us in death. This is one reason we make it a point to meet often. It makes me wonder how many other classes meet frequently. I hope we're not the only ones, because time passes so quickly, and relationships are important.

I generally don't talk a lot at the get togethers. I prefer to eat slowly while listening intently to conversations around me. Because we were a county school, most students came from farming communities, and I was surprised to learn that many returned to their family homes to help their parents work the land or otherwise. I'm living in my childhood home again, and I am trying my best to restore it to how my parents had it, how I remember it, plus add a touch of myself to the mix. Still, with every stroke of the brush or hammer of a nail, I remember scenes - memories, photos in my mind. The crepe myrtles are blooming so beautifully right now, and although I have no childhood memories of these trees, I do remember the maple tree in the back yard - now much, much taller and fuller, and I envision the azalea bushes and rose bushes that graced the front and sides of our home. My mama loved flowers, and she could make anything grow. My daddy was that way with vegetables and grass. This ole homestead used to be a place of beauty, but age and lack of attention does take its toll. Still, I pray for the strength to make it beautiful once more, and a place where friends feels welcome and stop by unannounced just as the old days and older ways when we always made time for family and friends. I remember mama saying "Come on over, and we'll add another potato to the pot!" and she meant it. My family was always so hospitable.

I regret that as a teenager more people didn't realize my hopes and dreams for my life. We had guidance counselors, but I don't recall ever stepping foot into their offices or being invited in to discuss my future plans upon graduation. Most of my female classmates were teachers or secretaries. But I was different much to the chagrin of my parents. I wanted to save the world, or at least help. I read every book I could find about the lives of missionaries, especially medical missions. As we were sitting at the table waiting for our food, talking about different subjects, one friend asked me about my life, and I began to share with her quite candidly. I always give God the credit, because there is no way my life could have blossomed from such crazy, misguided early beginnings. I went one way, and somehow in the process, over the years, God pulled me back around and set my feet on a wild adventure doing what I always wanted to do - helping others. Not that I hadn't been helping others, as that has always been my nature, but I wanted to do more, and God allowed me to do so.

Another friend answered questions about writing my story, and I shared a bit about my calling as a younger person. I'm not certain how my conversation was received, but when I'm allowed to share about my life, the joy and excitement of God's mercy and grace explode from me. Perhaps it's overwhelming, because it is to me, but I can't seem to contain it. The one thing we have in common though, is that we have all sinned and fallen short of His glory, but through the power of Almighty God and praying parents we have been transformed. In many ways I hear the same response I made so many, many years ago, "Here I am, Lord, send me!" Just like Isaiah responded. Just as so many missionaries have done and continue to do, giving their lives to answer God's call to reach the nations with the Good News of Jesus Christ. What a privilege, what a joy! Maybe my friends didn't go into missions, but a teacher is a very high call, and it takes a special person these days to reach the youth. Hopefully, my generation of teachers were able to train the ones in schools now, because the educational system is under attack. We need a new generation of teachers who will stand up and say to the Lord, "Here I am, Lord, send me!" 

His hand is always extended, waiting, and He stands at the door and knocks. Oh, please, Lord, may we help to reach the lost for Your kingdom, for Your glory. We are still willing. 

Day 197 Fragrance of Suffering

 

7/16/2026

"In times of affliction we commonly meet the

sweetest experiences of the love of God."

Daily Walk

 

Mark Twain once wrote "Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it." Over the past several months I have been keeping a close check on the motives of my heart. Last Sunday our pastor spoke about anger and the importance of not allowing the sun to go down on our wrath, as the Apostle Paul warned in Ephesians 4. This week I began the study of the book of Isaiah the prophet called to speak God's judgment against Judah. The Commentator of this portion of Scripture states that although Isaiah was aware that his countrymen were receiving the judgment for their sins that they deserved, his heart was broken. But, from that brokenness arose a man with great strength who was ready and able to do what God gave him to do. The Commentator then asks: "The sweet fragrance of perfume is only possible after a 'crushing' experience. And that's what God is doing today: bringing a sweet fragrance out of your life. But first must come the crushing - the conforming - the committing of your life to Him. Are you willing, like Isaiah, to be bruised that you might be used?"

My life has taught me one very important lesson, and it is found in one verse of Scripture that is repeated time and time again, often without thought or consideration, one of the "go to cliches" we Christians use frequently. Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Paul wrote this letter to the believers at Philippi from a prison cell thanking the them for their kindness to him, and to encourage them in their faith. It is known as a "happy letter." Paul does in deed write words that have encouraged me, and ones I have shared with many others as Scripture to commit to heart, especially those found in verses 4 - 8: 

"Rejoice in the Lord always. Again I will say, rejoice! Let your gentleness be known to all men. The Lord is at hand. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy - meditate on these things."

In spite of his suffering, Paul encourages us to think on "good" things. He reminds me of Pollyanna playing The Glad Game! It worked, and it transformed a sleepy ole town held hostage by one bitter old spinster, Pollyanna's aunt, who was also changed. Think about something you're glad about.

Just before he gives the message of doing all things through Christ, he shares his reason for being able to trust in the strength of God. In the verse preceding, Philippians 4:12, Paul shares: "I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound. Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need." Many times in Scripture Paul shares about the suffering he endures physically, but through it all he found true peace and a reason to go forth to complete the work God had given him to do, completing his race.

The prophet Isaiah spent sixty years speaking on behalf of God through visions during the reigns of King Uzziah, King Jotham, King Ahaz, and King Hezekiah. He lost his life during the reign of King Manesseh, King Hezekiah's son, when he was sawn in two for his prophetic witness. Many prophets of the LORD were martyred for speaking the words of the LORD early in Israel's history. Today the persecution of the church continues as antisemitism rises, and also as persecution of Christians who support Israel increases. Christians who stand against the hypocrisy of the government and organizations that encourage lawlessness and actions contrary to the Word of the LORD are becoming targets as well. The First Amendment is constantly in jeopardy, and the church remains silent against these wrongs. As in Isaiah's time God is calling our nation to repentance and leaders to speak out and make a stand.

When we make the decision to live for Christ and to do what He told us to do before He ascended to Heaven, we will make enemies. Before being able to complete the work God has given us to do, however, we must truly die to self, surrendering our desires to those of Christ.When we obey God's words concerning Israel, we face many enemies. As I have said many times before, there is a high cost to discipleship, and there are many saints, martyred for their faith, who can identify with that high cost. I remember the words of missionary Jim Elliot, who died at the age of 28 attempting to evangelize the Auca Indians, the Huaorani people of Ecuador, "He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose." He and his friends who died with him knew the cost they may have to pay.

But like Paul, and like Isaiah, there is a fragrance that rises to heaven when we pray for others, stand for truth, encourage a brother who is suffering, by serving, by giving, and by loving others to Christ.We're on a mission. The price is high, but the reward is sweet and satisfying. 

Day 196 Search My Heart

 

 

7/15/2026

"O LORD, You have searched me 

and known me."

Psalm 139:1

 

David, the psalmist and King of Israel, knew the heart of God, and God knew David's heart. That is the relationship I hunger for with my Father. The title of Psalm 139 is "God's Perfect Knowledge of Man." The psalm continues:

"You know my sitting down and my rising up; You understand my thought afar off. You comprehend my path and my lying down, and are acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word on my tongue, but behold, O LORD, You know it altogether. You have hedged me behind and before, and laid Your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain it." (verses 2-6)

In Psalm 17:3 David writes:

"You have tested my heart; You have visited me in the night; You have tried me and have found nothing; I have purposed that my mouth shall not transgress."

This week in our Bible study we've been considering the subject "The Clock is Ticking," based on Scripture found in Ephesians 4. This epistle written by Apostle Paul to the church at Ephesus is one of my favorite studies relating to the life of a follower of Christ and the proper spiritual attitude of the church. Pastor Clark was looking at the connection between time and anger, centering around the main scripture within this portion of Chapter 4 in verse 26 when the apostle warns: "'Be angry, and do not sin.' Do not let the sun go down on your wrath...." Ephesians 4 examines five areas of the Christian life: 1. Walking in Unity, 2. Spiritual Gifts, 3. The New Man, 4. Do not grieve the Spirit, and 5. Walking in Love. Of course when we consider these areas of a godly life, we need to daily examine our lives to ensure we are lining up with God's Word and His will and purpose for our lives. I found it ironic that after going through this teaching that the enemy would attack me from all angles, and yet, realizing that, as I said in my previous post, that God allows the pressing and the squeezing for a purpose. In some ways I felt that I failed the test, but on second glance I see that I passed so much more.

For now, however, I want to continue to think about what David is saying in this wonderful psalm about God's presence in our lives which makes my previous thought more plausible, more relevant, and more reassuring of God's love for me, for all of us who serve Him.

David continues:

"Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; if I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me. If I say 'Surely the darkness shall fall on me,' even the night shall be light about me; indeed, the darkness shall not hide from You, but the night shines as the day; the darkness and the light are both alike to You." (verses 7-12)

What he's saying is that regardless of where he is or whatever the circumstances, God is always near. He doesn't abandon us in our need, and indeed He cares about everything that concerns us. And if we can't understand the truth of those words, listen to the next section that literally blows me away!

"For You formed my inward parts; You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them." (verses 13-16)

"How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand; when I awake, I am still with you."  (verses 17-18)

I absolutely love sharing this Scripture with people who think God doesn't love them, because the words prove God's hand upon each life. The Scripture make it so obvious that God knew us before He even made us, or knit us together in our mother's womb, considering every part and parcel of our being, our personalities and our physical appearance, His masterpiece by design. And verse 16 implies that we each have a book with our names written on it, listing every detail of our life, the life He ordained for each of us to live. God the Father who says in Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." Imagine God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit all having a confab about what each of us would be like - start to finish! He knew every little thing about us, down to the minutest detail. He knew who would love and serve Him, too. Knowing every detail of our lives, giving us free will to make our own decisions, He still chose us! Actually, the Scriptures were written by Israel, in this psalm by David, for Israel, but as His remnant believers, we have been grafted into the vine and are partakers of the inheritance. 

In verses 19-22 David speaks of God's protection against our enemies and against those who are His enemies, who profane His name. Then he ends with verses 23-24:

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; try me and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting."

These words I have hidden in my heart, and daily I lift them as a prayer for my own life, as I want to live holy before Him. Growing in His grace and become more like Jesus in every way. This is the life we strive to have, obedience to our Father and LORD. In this desperate world we now live in, we must show others, particularly the vulnerable youth the Jesus is the answer for their every need. He meets them where they are at, accepts them for who they are, and molds them into faithful followers. In a world where everyone wants to do what they want, when they want, and how they want, it is refreshing to see the hungry and thirst for righteousness that we see in the generation of today. They don't need programs, they need transparency and honesty. They are searching for authenticity that they obviously have not found in any other source. Jesus is the only way, and they are hungry for light. May we shine in the darkness. May our motives be pure.

Day 195 Let the Arrows Fly

 

7/14/2026

"Though I walk  in the midst of trouble, You will revive me;

You will stretch out Your hand against the wrath of my

enemies, and Your right hand will save me.

The LORD will perfect that which concerns me;

Your mercy, O LORD, endures forever; do not forsake

the works of Your hands."

Psalm 138:7-8

 

Yesterday my day was confusing and upsetting. The disturbing details of the day have not fully been resolved, and I don't know whether they ever will be - that is, in my lifetime. And since it involves my actual life and well-being, naturally I would be concerned and even upset, but I was actually angry. And I am not an angry person. Although I realized the true source of the difficulties, fully recognized it as a spiritual battle, I still found it impossible to surrender the situation and my worries to God. I had reached a point in my life where enough was enough, and this situation had to stop. But it was only the tip of the iceberg for the arrows and fiery darts of the enemy flying my way. I felt so helpless and alone, unable to dodge one more attack. I recalled the many times we've prayed for Israel's physical battles on every battle front, seven to be exact, and then a another strategic ambush from social media would compound all the damage. 

I realize that because I speak so openly about trusting God in the midst of troubles, and say all the right things, lining them up with scriptures, that I am not immune to attack myself. In fact intercessors have huge bullseyes on our backs, spiritual targets, because we are standing in the gap, making up the hedge. And we encounter war in a different sense in our own lives. It's part of the calling. Usually when I get hit by the enemy, I am able to shrug it off, because I know better. But this time, the arrows were flying from all directions, and I had no place to turn, in the natural. I have grown so weary over the past months that I began to think about my being alone, without a human being who could really be supportive, not tangibly at least. My son, Daniel, tries very hard to understand, but he has his own battles. There was a tug of war between my head and my heart, plus my physical endurance has been low, so the enemy was trying to drag me back down the rabbit hole. Feelings resurfaced, and I was not happy with myself, or anyone else. But, God met me where I was, and Holy Spirit picked me back up, so I could focus. That's all I needed, and He's all I wanted, because I have experienced His Presence so often during times such as this one. Even Paul the Apostle was no immune to despair.

Many times when spiritual attacks come our human response is to reach out to a person, and I did end up calling a friend for prayer. Not for conversation, although I cried a bit and shared, but simply having someone who truly understood the struggle pray with me. I am grateful for my friend's support and for being willing to stand with me, even though she did not know the need, she understood the desperation. She knew intuitively, because she'd been at that very place many times before. 

There are times when we need the calm assurance of a fellow intercessor, so we can refocus on Jesus, our Commander of the Armies of Heaven. I was too upset to hear His still small voice. All I could hear was the incessant chatter of the enemy.  Sometimes, in the pressing, in the process of pruning, God allows things to happen, and  I do understand the necessity of that, spiritually speaking, as we must be found faithful. We have to endure the pain and struggles to be made into vessels of honor fit for the Master's use. But it hurts, and I didn't understand why it was happening again. And God was silent in my dilemma. Maybe a nudge or two by Holy Spirit, but no real conversation. I felt like Elijah trudging off through the desert to get to the mountains to find God when Jezebel put a hit out on him. Sometimes I can laugh at myself when I begin to read scripture, reminding myself of Biblical history, applying it to my own situation. Often it's not something to laugh about, but our response to trials sometimes is laughable, especially when so-called seasoned veterans should know better. We are continually learning. And thank God for that!

Today began with a note of encouragement, and a bit of defiance against the enemy's tactics, but not by my hand. I had already considered the logic myself, before receiving a call of encouragement. By that time I kinda knew the direction I needed to go in hopefully resolving my dilemma, and if successful, it can prove helpful to many others. As Jesus said to His disciples in John 16:33: "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”