And So It Goes

The past few weeks have been interesting to say the least.  Certain events that transgress,  plots unravel, and there's a new crisis yet to demand attention.  Exhausting.  There comes a time in a person's life where enough really is enough!  And so it goes.

I have been slowly approaching this catharsis in my life, as stress has been threatening to destroy my well being, my very existence.  I have been unable to sleep, rest, complete my daily work, think even at times.  All that I know or knew to be consistent has suddenly become inconsistent and givens, shaky.  The ground has been shifting beneath me, and I have been struggling not to be sucked into  this point of no return.

I've been on this quest to "find myself" yet all I have "found" or discovered actually is that I already know myself, I've never been lost, but I just need to regroup, recommit, and get back on track without listening to the unsolicited advice of those who have been trying, howbeit unsuccessfully, to suck me down into the same pit they find themselves.  So enough of that negativity, as I pull myself up by the bootstraps again and focus on the real that is right before my eyes.  How's that for reality!!

Suffice it to say I have not arrived, probably never will, as to "arrive" one must become perfect, and perfectionism is  unattainable if we are "real".  So I'll just settle for what I have called before "becoming".  Which is simply a way of saying that I am simply who I am, for the better, I hope, myself.  Or what my son says "what you see is pretty much what you get."  I think that was a compliment for being an "authentic" person with all my quirks.

In reading back over these three paragraphs I find that they don't make a whole heap of sense, except to me, so I will try to muddle through what's been going on in my life.  To say my plate has been "full" is an understatement.  I think my plate has been over full for quite some time, and my trying to eat away at the excess has been causing an overload in my system to where I am at the point of hurling it out in order to find relief.  I have to decompress or cease to exist.

I have decided that in order to remain at rest I must avoid those things or people who bring unrest to my life.  I need to avoid negativity, surrounding myself with positive, life-giving people, avoiding those who suck the life out of me.  All my life I have given to the point of there not being anything left to give.  I am a void on the brink of oblivion.  I need to be recharged, and I am clueless of how to to it, other than avoid what causes me stress.  Even if that means I ignore the telephone when it rings, avoid people who drain or who cannot see a thing to be thankful for in their lives.  They see what isn't while not seeing the blatantly obvious or what is.  The half empty glass kind of people.  I prefer the half full kind.

So on it goes.  Life goes on, and I am going to live it to the full, even if I have to regroup and recharge on occasion.  Miles to go before I sleep, as the saying goes.  Life is full of daily lessons and oodles of blessings.  We just need to keep our eyes open to them!  Live life!  I am.