I was just re-reading my post of 2/21/16 Sunday Musing about the cost required from one who serves the Lord wholeheartedly. Since that day when I penned that post my life has been more chaotic than usual, with the enemy's arrows flying left and right as I continue to stand my ground. I serve a Sovereign God, a God of the impossible, my Abba Father who supplies all my needs according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. I count on this wisdom, and I am trying with all my heart to let God be God in the decisions I have to make.
I have not visited with my son for two years, and I want to see him, as well as my older son, whom I have not seen since 2012 when my daddy passed away. Living in New Mexico with my three children and my grandchildren scattered, working a demanding job with relentless hours, often makes my life lonely. I often wonder why God would give me three miracle children whom I raised to know Him for things to be as they are. But then, I don't want to question my Lord, as He sees the bigger picture. Recently, I had to come to the place of understanding that in following His path for my life I may never see my family again. As hard as that sounds I am willing to trust Him and follow His lead whatever the challenges may be. I've lived this long following after Him, so I will not stop now, no matter the cost of discipleship. In order to live I have to die...to self.
Some new things have come my way in the way of health issues, but again, God has carried me this far. I had a work related injury a few weeks ago that may have far reaching consequences, but I have decided to put them on hold until I return from my trip to Virginia to visit with my sons and friends. I have some business to settle, but as I said God already has it figured out, with directions to follow. So Wednesday, in faith, I am boarding my plane, arriving at the airport in Richmond not knowing if anyone will be there to pick me up or if I need to rent a car or hitchhike. I decided I really didn't care, one step at a time. Trusting God is better than worrying about mundane matters.
If anyone is reading this, please pray for me. I really need my Father to speak clearly, so I will know the next step. Ya know, I had asked my son and a friend to do some things for me, and I was getting pretty irritated, because it seems that if I don't take a step, then no one follows. But I realized that if I was going to leave this visit in His capable hands, then I didn't need to make any plans on my own. I simply want to be obedient. So I have been quietly resting in Him, trying to finish up loose ends at work before I head out Tuesday evening to Albuquerque. I do not plan to talk to anyone, unless they call me, so I can keep my focus clear and my face set like a flint.
If there is one thing I know it is Jesus loves me, and I want to follow Him. Criticism, judgment, shame, and guilt are some of the arrows whizzing past my head, but I am ready. I kneel in praise and worship to God my Holy God, the Alpha and Omega, the One who holds my right hand. I put on the breastplate of righteousness, the loin girdle of truth and the shoes of peace. I fasten on my helmet of salvation, the mind of Christ, and I raise up my shield of faith to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one, all the lies and doubt. I wield my sword of the spirit, the word of God, and I oil the whole armor with prayer. I have His word en-grafted on my heart from memorizing His promises since childhood, just as I taught my children, so I know, as they do, that He is always with us. It is my prayer that everyone would realize that same truth and stand your ground in faith fully armored with praise on their lips. He is Lord!
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