Focus

It's been awhile. I imagine those who follow my journeys through life have been wondering what happened to me. I really don't make time for social media, as my job keeps me busy "on the keys" and in the field. It's a crazy ride, but I love what I do...or at least, what I give my best efforts in doing. My life gets a bit out of balance at times, as the past year and a half has produced a period of waiting that makes me battle human emotions of frustration, despair, anxiety, anger, and depression. Quite frankly, I have not been myself in a long time. My faith remains strong, and I trust my Father completely. As long as my focus is on Him and I stay in His Presence, I am calm and confident even on days when confusion abounds! That would be most days.

As you know, my favorite part of the day is early mornings when I can sit alone with Jesus and listen to Him as He directs my thoughts and my day. This is how I maintain peace in the midst of turmoil, because my life has been seemingly spinning out of control. Another thing you know about me is that I believe in the power of the Word, so I have made it a life practice to memorize scripture for such times as these when I need the reassurance that I am never alone, and Someone is in control of ALL that concerns me.

Sometimes it takes time for a message to finally bring itself home to me. Psalm 127:2 says "It is useless for you to work so hard...for God gives rest to his loved ones." Sound advice for one who works long hours into the nights, as I do, just to keep up with the work. Even when I know that this type of work is never finished. So turning off the computer quickly when my scheduled hours are up has become a goal I set for myself. So far, I have only slaved on days before my days off - Tuesday and Friday. But, yesterday I made a huge breakthrough! Although I wasn't able to shut down promptly at quitting time as I was mid-sentence in a report, I did turn off the computer in record time for a Tuesday night. Now let's see if I can repeat this new direction Friday night. I must say that I felt so energized by that small step of "shutting down" that I fixed supper while I watched the last episodes of Star Trek, exercised, took a long soak in bubble bath while reading my books, and shortly thereafter, I crawled into bed. And for the first time in a long time, I actually slept for five straight hours without waking up or having to restart my "white noise" that helps me sleep. I even got back into the bed and enjoyed the warmth of the quilts and comforter pulled tightly to my neck for another hour before I decided to get up and greet the day.What a beginning for a day off!

It's progress. It may seem like baby steps to some, I'm certain, but understand, I have been on energizer bunny duty for many moons. It's called survival mode, and it is difficult to change a life style overnight. I still have more hurdles to jump, as I attempt to get my life back, but each day I am encouraged in my quiet time and throughout the day by the knowledge that my Father walks with me, and He carries me when necessary. He also prods me on in joyful obedience. Plus, he has given me a friend, who carries the same last name as mine, who encourages me each morning as she and I exchange "Good Mornings" and what God has shown us for the day. On our respective days off we send text messages and prayers to each other. And we surround ourselves with positive people, thinking, and visual aids so our focus can rest on the One who holds us in the palm of His great big hand. Today, in one of my readings, I was asked to write down my joys. My friend is my joy, because we challenge each other daily. That's a huge blessing and answer to prayer. Who helps you get through your day? We all need each other. At least, I know I do!