Thoughts

 

 For quite awhile now I have observed two Sabbath rests. I anxiously await these special days of spending time alone with Jesus, and in fellowship with friends and family of like faith. It gives me greater strength to face each day, especially with our current national and world situations. 

I just posted a trailer for a movie by Mel Gibson, the sequel to The Passion of the Christ. Wow! When I saw Jesus coming riding on His white horse with the saints with Him, my heart leaped! I so long to see Him coming again in glory for all to see! And make no mistake, He is coming! This should never frighten a believer, unless of course, there is something wrong with the relationship. But God is always ready for fences to be mended...relationships too. He longs to spend time with us.

I just finished reading the headline prayers for my prayer group, and I must say that being "in the know" is not always pleasant, but it is expedient in knowing how to pray. I was saddened to see the news of the death of the former Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, and to know that these things are happening world wide. I remember so well the day President John Kennedy was assassinated, walking down the steps of the school as we were dismissed early in the day. I remember when Robert Kennedy and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr were killed as well. These things are not easily erased from my memory. 

Today I was talking to my son about a comment a celebrity made regarding the reversal of Roe vs Wade and Casey and the role of the church is playing in helping these mothers who are in crisis. I feel that it is the responsibility of the church to walk along beside these ladies in providing resources and support in whatever means needed. The celebrity was commenting about those who wanted to adopt the unwanted children. He stated that the idea was sick and suggested they would be better off aborted. I couldn't understand why anyone would feel this way. There are so many things that I don't understand, but I know that God does and that He has all things in His control. I pray that hearts change.

Well, the hour is late, and it's time I get to bed. I'm anxious about being in church tomorrow. I trust you will have a great day with Jesus!

Ramblings

I'm listening to an old hymn, At Calvary, written by William Newell, and it brings back memories of my childhood days singing beside my mama and grandparents at Central Baptist Church. How I miss them, and hearing them sing. Perhaps that's why I find such solace in music, but not just any music, but music that lifts up the Name of Jesus. A couple of weeks ago I dropped by the church at Church Road, and I spoke with the pastor, reliving the times there and all the people who have gone on to glory. Many family members of friends of my grandparents' remain a part of the congregation, so the visit was like going home.

There are many happy memories making my decision to return home a good one. Relocating and basically starting over is never easy, but for me it was almost impossible leaving my daughter, close friends, family members on my husband's side, and returning to a place that is no longer the same. I've mentioned before that I get lost in the maze of shops circling the Colonial Heights Southpark area. Not to mention how the interstate connects in so many small towns. It seems so surreal to me how much villages I knew as a youngster have grown.

Today I stayed close to home, checked a few "to dos" from my list that seems to get longer each day. Sometimes I think a part time job would help me use my time more wisely, but then, maybe I'm using my time in the manner it should be used. That's why I'm taking things slowly, focusing on the most important person first and foremost as I make my plans.

My son and I have established some routines. Friday is movie night. Tonight we watched a Stallone movie from years ago, Demolition Man. It was futuristic and a bit hokey, but okay. I really don't like movies with bad words, but it seems as if that's all there are. Each week we switch off on who picks the movie, so next week will be my week. I have all week to consider. My daddy has tons of westerns, especially with John Wayne. I love visiting those old movies, remembering my times with daddy. There are many memories in this old house.

Hopefully, in a week or so, my sister and I will be taking some excursions to places we used to frequent on my previous visits. I have always loved Williamsburg and Charlottesville, so they are definitely on the list. We used to talk about traveling the mega yard sales that span a mile or longer where many artists sell junk art. As an artist myself, I love to see how imaginative others can be with castaway items. "Another man's junk is another man's treasure," as the old adage goes.

I also want to plan a trip to DC, as I'd like to walk the streets and pray over the nation's capitol for a return to freedom and sound government. And yet, doing so, puts me in harm's way, because it seems that my love of God and country make me wrong. That is very sad. I noticed that not as many people even celebrated Independence Day this year, as if the flag was taboo. It is so sad to see the things that should never be. There is only one way to fix things, because it is a heart issue. Jesus is the only answer. I'm listening to a song as I write this blog. I hear the words, "Just call out His name...Jesus; call out His name...Jesus; call out His name...Jesus, and He will come to you." 

As I end my day, I shout out His name, and He runs to me.  He's in my song, in the breeze that blows lightly into my window, and I invite Him into my dreams. Jesus...Jesus...wonderful name! As I close my eyes, I pray..."Come, Lord Jesus, come...."

Just a Note

 I love to write, and I feel that is the one thing I am called to do, yet apart from write my daily journal and occasional letters to friends, I seldom get around to the book. I cannot really say that I am distracted, although there are plenty of distractions each day. But sitting down and focusing on writing at certain times each day just is not easy for me. Journaling comes more easily, and in those journals, are the majority of the pages I need to pull out for my story. But, even in that, there is a level of frustration, because I feel as if by taking time to focus on the book, I am writing what I wrote earlier in my journals again. I know it sounds crazy or illogical, but there it is nonetheless. And quite honestly, some days I wonder why bother at all. Who'd want to read anything I have to say?!

But the who or if really are not the important questions. The real issue is obedience. Just like writing this blog. The last three days I have been trying to start again, because I felt that was what God said to do. As in the past, some days may seem more "inspired" than others when I am just trying to write. But whatever I write, it is important, because words are important just as life is important. Few people really understand that relevance about life. God created each person with a specific job to do. I for one do not want to get to the end of my life not fulfilling what He wrote about me in His book. Maybe someone reading this blog is not even aware that God has a book with your name on it. Well, He does. Psalm 139 speaks about God's intentions and His love and care for each of us. You may want take the time to read it.

We are all created with one purpose, and that purpose is to declare the works of the LORD and give Him glory. Jesus is our reason. I find it hard to understand why few understand or care about Him. I know I am somewhat of a fanatic when it comes to my love of Jesus, but if You knew Him, you might feel the same way.

Many times I've mentioned the series The Chosen being aired free live stream. It's the story of Jesus and His disciples, and their journey in bringing the Good News to the world. I recommend it highly for anyone who doubts, who is lonely, who is lost, for anyone really. "Seasoned" saints may feel they don't need or desire to watch it, and that's okay, but I have watched it over and over and over again, and I will continue to do so. It's that good, or at least I think so, and there are thousands who agree. Plus it's free, and little is these days.

Tonight I was speaking with someone who has been struggling with feeling "worthy" to go to heaven. Well, guess what! No one is "worthy" for anything. That may offend someone, but the closer I try to walk with Jesus, the more I appreciate the sacrifice He made to save me and the free gift of salvation given to those who simply believe He is who He says He is and did what He said He did. But there's more. We need to show Him that we love Him and am grateful for everything He did and does. Now as I am writing this, I know that I am simplifying it, but I do so for clarity. Plus, there's a high cost for discipleship, because it requires everything. All I can say for those who wonder what I am trying to say, I can only say, read the Book.

The day is drawing to a close, and I'm tired. I had a long day of trying to get somewhere and getting turned around again. I guess I lived in New Mexico so long that I get lost in civilization. But I must say that getting turned around does have its advantages. I get to enjoy some beautiful scenery, plus I get to meet new people when I feel the need to stop and ask for directions. Still I had a good day with a close friend, and I was able to come back strong, encouraging someone who needed an ear and some reassurance that "Yes, Jesus loves you." Not a bad way to spend a day and end a day, plus tomorrow is another day for Abba to shine! He always does!!

I Will Praise You!

 

The sun is up and birds are singing, as I open my eyes this morning, a song in my heart as I greet my living and enduring king, the same song that has echoed in my mind over days and days on end: "I will praise You, I will praise You; I won't let the stones cry, I won't let the stones cry out; I will praise You, something in me has to. I won't let the stones cry, I won't let the stones cry out."

This song by Kim Walker-Smith, "Stones," is one of my daily worship songs, and it holds a special meaning for me, as many of her songs do, as they are pure worship and spontaneous conversation with Jesus. The scriptural reference of the song is from Luke 19 as Jesus is making His triumphal entry into Jerusalem, and the people are singing and shouting in praise and honor to Him. The Pharisees do not like this, so they are urging Jesus to stop these people from blaspheming God, because they do not realize that Jesus is God come in the flesh. Jesus responds to them in this manner:  But He answered and said to them, “I tell you that if these should keep silent, the stones would immediately cry out.”

Kim begins the song with these lyrics:

 

"Find me in the valley

Standing with my hands held high

The valley will never take my song.

Find me in the desert

Holding onto You for life

The desert will never take my song.

Oh, the desert will never take my song."

 

 

 

I can understand the intensity of the meaning of these words to the singer, as I am so aware of the message of the people as they hailed Jesus that morning in Jerusalem shouting, “ ‘Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord!’ Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!”

 

Many times I have shared with my readers the wisdom my Abba has blessed me in understanding the crucifixion on a personal level. Seeing His hands, His feet, His lashed and broken body, bleeding profusely from flesh torn off in chunks, body bruised and beaten beyond recognition, a crown of thorns pushed deeply into the flesh of his head and brow, blood streaming down his face. His arms are outstretched, and His body is sagging from the weight. It is become increasingly difficult to breathe, and yet, He turns His face to mine, and I see His eyes looking into my face, lifting it as if cupped gently in His hands with His gaze. His eyes are full of pain, but there is something else, a love so deep, so forgiving, and an all-consuming joy. How is it possible?! As He takes the last few moments of life to hold my gaze, there are no words necessary. His love lifts my chin upward to bring my downcast eyes to his, as if an invisible hand holds me as I weep uncontrollably, aware of the horror of this vision. He loves me, forgives me, and He welcomes me home with an embrace so tangible. I crumble to my knees, my head in my hands, crying out to my Savior and Lord. I won't let the stones cry out...!

 

At this point in my walk with the Lord I become aware of so many songs heard on Sunday mornings or in revivals, that were so prevalent in my day. At the end of the message, as the evangelist stands in front of the church, standing level with the people, I can hear the familiar verses: "Just as I am without one plea but that Thou blood was shed for me...." and  "I surrender all, I surrender all; All to Thee, my blessed Savior, I surrender all." The lyrics were sung over and over and over again, drawing repentant hearts home. Sometimes the organ would play for what seemed hours, but we didn't care, as the pastor shepherd continued to send out the invitation.

 

"Stones" continues with these words:

 

 

"Find me with the promise

Dancing where You prophesied

Still shouting of everything You've done

High up on the mountain

I was made to testify

Forever, You will have my song

Oh, forever, You will have my song."

 

 

Once our Savior has welcomed you home, and the understanding is deep in your heart, dancing becomes spontaneous worship. I know, because it's part of my praise and worship as I unashamedly dance before Him. Although my leaps of joy and thanksgiving are not as high as they once were, my Abba knows my praise. And I testify of His great love for me. When I was so undeserving of His forgiveness, so unworthy and ashamed, He lifted me to my feet. Over the years of emotional and physical pain and torment, I praised Him, and He carried me through. Even in my own agony, singing became a release. The words echo in my heart as she sings:

 

 

"The longer the wait, the longer I'll praise

The stronger the pain, the stronger my faith grows

The higher the  need, the higher I'll reach

The greater the cost the more I'll believe for.

 

I will praise You, I will praise You 

I won't let the stones cry, I won't let the stones cry out 

I will praise You, something in me has to. 

I won't let the stones cry, 

I won't let the stones cry out."

 

 

Such a fitting start to my days. Remembering. Thanking. Praising. And although my day begins with tears flowing down my cheeks, they are tears of joy as I begin my day with gratitude. I never want to forget. But one thing is certain, although I may not want the rocks to steal my expression of worship, all of creation rejoices and sings out with me. If you don't believe me, just listen as the sun comes up and the birds sing and frolick in the trees, splashing in the streams. That's worship to our King! Spontaneous and pure!

 

 

I Speak Jesus

  

 

I'm a simple person. I have few needs, and I don't really desire much in the way of "things." I try to think practically, sometimes to my own detriment. I'm satisfied with fixing up the old home I have, thankful that I have a home especially in today's economy. I enjoy cutting the grass with a push lawnmower - although it is more weeds than grass now days - sitting in the shade of the maple tree or among the smaller trees in my shaded little haven. I enjoy the smell of the earth after a rain, the smell of nature's blooms of summer, gentle breezes and birds playing in the bird bath. And, in spite of my already noisy head, I enjoy the sounds of frogs, crickets, and other insects of the "peace" of night. I anticipate the daily visits of the neighborhood Maine Coon cat hungry for food and hugs with her tussled, matted fur and playful nibbles to elicit more hugs. I'm content with a bowl of beans slow-cooked overnight in the crock pot, rather than a gourmet meal in a fancy restaurant. I do, however, miss chicken tacos with guacamole and green salsa from El Parasol or green chili chicken enchiladas from Rancho de Chimayo or La Cocina. Road trip to New Mexico here I come!

I enjoy sitting around an open fire with friends sharing, singing, and worshiping while we roast hot dogs or toast marshmallows. I miss those days, but I fully intend to make one of my up and coming projects building a fire pit. It used to be something we did often as a family and as part of a larger church family, before we moved to New Mexico. After that much changed, including priorities. Later on when I was on my own, I enjoyed some great times of fellowship with my friends and church family, but we never got around to using my fire pit. 

I think I've found a new church family, and soon maybe I'll become a real part of the community. It takes time, but when the conversation is focused on Jesus and the furthering of His Kingdom on earth as it is in Heaven, for me, that's when the good times roll. Jesus is the most important person in my life, and I can talk to Him all day long. I'd rather talk to Him about national and world events than anyone, because He is after all the one who created this earth and everything in it. When in doubt He gives us the Owner's Manual, the Bible, for direction and clarification on any topic. So what I don't understand is why don't more people ask Him about things rather than listening to gossip, hearsay, or the opinion of biased news accounts that only cause more unrest. It's much easier to go to the Author and Finisher of our faith. Many times people just are not grateful for what they do have on this earth, so selfishness and the thirst for power and more comes into play. I will never understand why a person has two homes, unless the second one is to share with someone who doesn't have one. Same goes with cars and other stuff. What makes that more attractive to a person rather than helping someone who has a real need? I guess one thing is trying to fill up the empty places in a heart. I am thankful that in Jesus I am complete, but I do have my dream of a home for "misfit toys" such as myself. A place where no one is turned away or discounted, a place where new life begins. One day.

Although I see more clearly each day as an aging adult, I realize that God has had His hand on my life since the beginning. As a child I grew in the wonder of knowing Jesus, and as a teenager and young adult, going through different phases in my life, my life ebbed and flowed, but I never lost my desire to serve Him. Over the many years of being alone I have witnessed the overwhelming pursuit of God for one of His fledgling children and His relentless love. I have come to understand the outrageous price paid for my redemption, the torture, pain, humiliation Jesus suffered on the cross for me, for my sins and healing. The blood to redeem me from the curse of death. He ransomed my life, and I am seated in heavenly places at His right hand according to Ephesians 2.

There's no better friend and confidante than Jesus, and He gives His Holy Spirit as my continuous guide. Whether I'm in the desert heat, the wilderness wandering, or the valley of the shadow of death, or ascending the mountain on hind's feet to high places, He is with me. He is faithful, true, always with me, never leaving or forsaking me. He's my shelter in a storm, my hiding place where I can rest in safety and peace. I want to be like Him, an example to others, to shout to the world Who He is and of His great love and compassion. I want to share my personal experience so that others will not see tragedy but redemption and an amazing adventure and know that they too can share this life just by believing in faith and calling on His Name.

This morning I heard a song, "I Speak Jesus," the lyrics say it all. Listen to the words:

 

"I just wanna speak the name of Jesus

Over every heart and every mind

'Cause I know there is peace within Your presence

I speak Jesus.

I just wanna speak the name of Jesus

'Til every dark addiction starts to break

Declaring there is hope and there is freedom

I speak Jesus.

'Cause Your name is power

Your name is healing

Your name is life

Break every stronghold

Shine through the shadows

Burn like a fire.

I just wanna speak the name of Jesus

Over fear and all anxiety

To every soul held captive by depression

I speak Jesus.

'Cause Your name is power

Your name is healing

Your name is life

Break every stronghold

Shine through the shadows

Burn like a fire.

Shout Jesus from the mountains

Jesus in the streets

Jesus in the darkness over every enemy

Jesus for my family

I speak the holy name

Jesus, Jesus.

'Cause Your name is power

Your name is healing

Your name is life

Break every stronghold

Shine through the shadows

Burn like a fire.

Your name is power

Your name is healing

Your name is life

Break every stronghold

Shine through the shadows

Burn like a fire.

I just wanna speak the name of Jesus

Over every heart and every mind

'Cause I know there is peace within Your presence

I speak Jesus."

 

Music speaks to the heart especially when the one singing has knowledge of the journey. These words are powerful and the invitation so clear. I'm walking with someone through some hard times today, who needs to feel the truth of these words. My prayer is that others who may read this blog will reach out to Jesus. If you don't think He doesn't understand, just read His bio in the four gospels. He has literally endured anything and everything anyone has ever felt, done, or been tempted to do. When the song says, "Jesus paid it all...." trust me, He did.