Day 103 What Matters Most

 

4/13/2026

 "All labels die when tested."

- Unknown

 

Yesterday I heard a pastor I respect speaking about the condition of the church, and while it is discouraging to watch what is happening, or not happening in our American churches, it was rather refreshing to see that someone is paying attention. Often I wonder if anyone is heeding the admonition of the LORD in the scriptures. I made a comment once about the original church, and how Jesus never said anything about denominations; He spoke of "the body." The pastor also commented, as have I, that Martin Luther and other early theologians would be appalled that a religion was named after them. I imagine many of the early theologians would be upset should they discover that religions or denomination originated from their teachings which have caused divisions in the body of Christ. And when there are differences in schools of thought, personal beliefs or interpretations of scripture, a rift in the church develops, and a new church is birthed. The is not church planting. This is pride that goes before a fall. These are my thoughts, but apparently others have also considered it. It seems as if each one has an agenda that they follow, so if others don't believe as they do, a new movement is launched. The Bible should be the only authority on a matter, not personal feelings. Seems tiring having all these man made labels. This is why I call myself a follower of Christ, and my source is strictly the Bible, the word of God. Today I heard someone talking about the Ethiopian Bible being more accurate than the King James Version because it contains many of the parts left out for whatever reason they were not considered part of the original scriptures. I find it disturbing that there are so many Bibles with pastors' names on them. I understand that opinions and interpretations of texts are included, but it seems a bit presumptuous to me to use one's name as author of the Bible. This is my opinion.

I've been reading the book Tortured for Christ by Richard Wurmbrand, a Romanian priest who was imprisoned and tortured by the Communist Party for fourteen years. His testimony of forgiveness is amazing, as are those of the people he lists. It seems that the years of torture only served to make him love his tormentors all the more. How is that possible, one may ask? Well, the love of God can move hearts. If we understood the emptiness of the ones who are taught to hate those who embrace Christianity, who embrace Jesus, and who, no matter how much they are tortured, refuse to deny Christ, and they show love and forgiveness to their tormentors. Only God can do that!

In his book Wurmbrand says that there are actually young Communists who have given their hearts to Jesus who continue to work as a Communist. One such report he provided reads:

"The Communist newspaper then described a 'savage' picture: "Young boys and girls sing spiritual hymns. They receive the ritual baptism and keep the evil, treacherous teaching of love toward the enemy." The article also stated that many young boys and girls who carry membership in the Communist Youth Organization are in reality Christians! It concluded with the words: 'How powerless must be the Community school, how boresome and deprived of light...that the pastors are able to snatch away its disciples from under the nose of their indifferent educators." 

Wurmbrand stated that: "The Communist newspapers bear witness to the fact that Christianity advanced among the youth!"

 I have mentioned the extreme hunger that the young people in America have, and because of their search for authenticity, for the truth of the Word, not "God loves you" messages that pat one on the back and never hold a sinner accountable for their sin. No, these young people, especially young men are running to churches that are alive in Christ, where they are learning, growing, transforming their lives, calling out for repentance and salvation. There are two churches right now where such revivals are ongoing. I can understand their need. I remain hungry for the Word of God. I  have an insatiable hunger, so I attend churches that teach the Bible, word by word, line by line, book by book. It is so wonderful to study this way, and apply it to what is happening today. 

Wurmbrand had this to say about the Western church: "Whoever has known the spiritual beauty of the Underground Church cannot be satisfied anymore with the emptiness of some Western churches." Further he says, "I suffer in the West more than I suffered in a Communist jail because now I see with my  own eyes Western civilization dying."

I wept as I read his feelings about the modern church and their lack of concern about their fellow man who is being tortured, raped, viciously murdered for their faith, and the church does and says little. Such news is not reported, and if it is, it is sensationalized to benefit the one who writes it. There is little, if any true concern about martyrs, because the church has become dead to the Gospel of Jesus Christ, the message that Jesus told the disciples to go and preach to all the world. Wurmwood says of the church: "The West sleeps and must be awakened to see the plight of captive nations."

I have spoken about antisemitism until I am blue in the face! Some hang their Jewish flags, but that is the extent of their action! Who is speaking out against it?! I have actually made myself physically ill listening to Sunday sermons online to see who, if any, of the local pastors mention Israel or even understands what is happening now in Iran. The only reason some speak out is because they hate our President, so this is a great opportunity to see what lies they can fabricate to get him removed from office. The man does not ever get a moment's rest from criticism and lies! No one is perfect, but God placed him in office, and it is dangerous to oppose a Holy God. The truth about our Judeo-Christian roots is not taught in the church or in universities or seminaries. Replacement Theology has taken root in the heart of the church. No one seems to understand that Jesus is King of the Jews. He is in fact a Jew Himself! The church has been blinded, just as Saul of Tarsus was blinded until the scales dropped from His eyes by his encounter with the Living Christ! 

Right now in some American cities, Islam has become the religion. Soon America will become a land of underground churches. In fact, it is a semblance of one. Without the online community I would not have a church. Covid was responsible for the growth of the online communities, and they have continued and have grown even more since the epidemic. Why are people choosing to remain in these online churches and not seek out the face to face fellowship with others? I ask my online group that question all the time, as I encourage church attendance and becoming involved in the fellowship and outreach. Yet, I don't feel that I have found a home yet.

One day, soon I hope, the Lord will return for the remnant of the church, His Body of Christ, the church. Will we be found with our oil lamps lit and our lives that of the spotless bride?  

Day 102 Short Accounts

 

4/12/2026

"But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 

Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, 

always abounding in the work of the Lord, 

knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord."

   1 Corinthians 15:57-58

 

Once again a dream woke me up just as the alarm was supposed to go off this morning. This one seemed to be about self-indulgence, or at least I felt that it was. I dreamed about buying donuts, knowing full well that I am not supposed to eat gluten. They were four for a dollar, and besides, I thought about a cream filled donut, and I so wanted one. I can't remember what else I bought, except I did consider my son's favorite. It's interesting that there was a shortage of donuts, but I was lucky enough to find that white-creamed lard donut! But, as it turned out, I lost the donuts, so I didn't have the pleasure of consuming these delicacies and suffering afterwards. Why is it that we always want what is not good for us?! These past five weeks of dealing with this itching rash from whatever it was that I managed to get into should have taught me to stay away from anything that causes me discomfort. I also noticed that I have had a craving for candy! I don't generally keep chocolate candy around the house, as it's not good for me or Daniel. I guess it has to do with having control over something when I don't have any control over what is happening to me physically. But then what do I know. Fortunately, we didn't cave and buy candy. Although tomorrow is another day!

This morning I woke up with a rash on my face, so I felt it may be better not to attend church, not knowing what caused it. Hopefully, it's just from putting my hands on my face or rubbing my face into the pillowcase while I was sleeping. Tonight I'm going to put on a clean pillowcase, just to test it out. And when I pray, I'm going to try to keep my hands away from my face. I seem to have many bad habits, plus I have a bit of vanity in wanting my face to clear up before I go out. I promised my friend that I'd apply for my passport, so I really want to look my best. When I got my driver's license when I first moved back to Virginia, I was not prepared for the photo, subsequently, I looked like a ragamuffin with stringy hair and a "just that the photo" face. I am not very photogenic, but I look like a vagrant! At least I get smiles from anyone who sees it. 

Pastor Greg's message for this morning was called The Lord's Prayer, a model prayer given to the disciples by Jesus, as they wanted to know how he prayed when He went off into the hills to be alone with God. Each day I say this prayer as a corporate prayer for intercessors, including myself, my family, my friends, the nation's leaders and the world leaders. We have our priorities in prayer, but God knows what we truly need. I want my prayer to align with His will, certainly not mine. I memorized The Lord's Prayer as a child, but I have begun saying it daily as I meditate over each verse. I never want to do something routinely. I want every scripture to be considered appropriately. Later, when I watched Jesus Image's morning worship service, I learned that this prayer is not spoken in some churches, as some churches are uncomfortable saying it. I am not, and I cannot imagine a Christian who feels this way. So many things I never thought I'd see or hear are happening, just as the prophets foretold. It can become overwhelmed, especially if one relies on social media for news. It's hard to know what is real or imagined or fabricated by AI. The days are indeed wicked. This is why we must pray always and consult the Bible as the authority and source of all wisdom. James 1:5 says "If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him."

This is indeed a time to seek the Lord while He may be found. Sitting at His feet, learning from the words that He speaks. Have a heart of forgiveness and extend mercy towards others, just as God extended great mercy and forgiveness upon us. 

Day 101 A Heart Like His

 

4/11/2026

“Spiritual work is taxing work, and men are loath to do it. 

Praying, true praying, costs an outlay of serious attention and of time, 

which flesh and blood do not relish.” 

E. M. Bounds 

 

This has been an exceptional Shabbat! After the global prayer call on Saturdays, I anxiously switch over to my online church, Jacob's Tent, but I guess it was canceled due to a flu outbreak that seems to plague the church, so I tuned into the Messianic synagogue in Richmond, Tikvat Israel. I've never taken the time to visit, but I do follow through weekly newsletters and special updates. I always receive the YouTube link to their service, but I've only tuned in one time. But today, I decided I'd listen in, and I am so glad that I did. I really like Rabbi David, as it is obvious that he has a close relationship with his church members and with the community. I haven't visited, because I love Jacob's Tent so much, but then as wonderful as it is, they are not local. This morning, Tikvat had a guest speaker, Randy Martinez from MAPS Global located in Richmond. Imagine that! But it gets better and more personal for me. This ministry understands what it means to go into all the world, beginning with your own community, and teach the Gospel to those in need of the only good word. This ministry has been right here, under my nose, and I didn't know it. Perhaps this is the answer to my prayer. 

When Randy began to speak, and his message was based on Matthew 9:35-38, I knew this message was for my ears. This scripture speaks of the compassion of Jesus:

"Then Jesus went about all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the gospel of the kingdom, and healing every sickness and every disease among the people. But when He saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd. Then He said to his disciples, 'The harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest.'"

Randy shared that the feeling that gripped Jesus when He looked at the crowd was gut wrenching, twisting Him up in literal knots in His guts, the feelings were so intense, because He saw their spiritual needs. He could see to the very core the true needs of this multitude, and He knew their needs were not being understood, nor realized. He said they were like sheep without a shepherd. The common reaction a person experiences to a truly needy person, is generally disgust pointing out the individual's obvious disrespect for their own appearance. Or it can be the smell a person may exude that is unpleasing. I had never thought about it until this moment, but perhaps this is one reason God had me travel this road as He was restoring me from my years of mistreatment and abandonment, by giving me jobs in caring for others. I remember as a health care supervisor my job was to schedule caregivers with the clients. There were some clients that were hard to staff, because of personality, location, or less than agreeable circumstances. In other words, the physical needs were too much to handle. Generally, those with some form of mental trauma tended to be challenging for some, but I learned even more about those unique opportunities when God graduated me to case management. I have witnessed people living in filthy conditions, and although the authorities knew, they did not correct the situation, so I had to provide for them the best care that I could. Often I was the one intervening. Fortunately also, there are many compassionate people who care for others, because I know it is not for the money. 

His three points that he made were about the worthiness of Jesus, Jesus' heart of compassion, and the anointing of Jesus. He spoke about the importance of true worship, not simply singing a few songs as a warm up to the sermon, but fully lingering in the presence of of a God who is worthy of praise and adoration. Sadly this is missing in most churches who think they're doing this, but the "feeling" soon leaves. Trust me, when in the presence, nothing else matters and time is irrelevant. All that matters is Him.

Jesus has a heart of compassion for the lost and broken. I have often spoken of asking God to break my heart for what breaks His, warning others not to pray it unless you're sincere, because He answers. Randy mentioned the same. Sitting before Him, waiting in His Presence, not simply praying a list of needs, but seeking His direction, asking Holy Spirit to speak. Believe me when I say many things grieve the heart of God. It begins with our own hearts. Repenting for seeking our own desires, or own ways of doing things. Surrendering afresh and truly asking Him to break our hearts, so there is none of us and all of Him.

Randy said that "you become what you behold," and this is so true. Things we think are important, things that take up our time when we should be focused on others. Seeking God for a fresh anointing for the harassed and helpless of this world. This extends to every nation, but particularly to those areas that are the least covered regions. Right now we have a war going on in Iran. The Middle East is one of those areas that is without Christ and in need of the Gospel message. I have shared before that Isaiah 19 speaks of the restoration of Egypt and the Assyrian nations with Israel. Iran is home to the largest and fastest growing underground church, even in war. God cares about the Muslims, and the Buddhists, and all peoples. And He tells us to go, witness, and lead all men to Christ. We need to pray for a heart of compassion, a love for others, as Jesus has for all men. Many times we don't even consider others, because many times the truth is not widely spread on secular news. 

Hearing this message today stirred my already stirred up heart. I care so much for the lost and dying world, and each day I pray and ask Abba to tell me what I am to do next. I am already 75 years of age, and I don't want to waste a single moment of my life out of His will. So this message rings true to my heart and my ears. I hope it does the same for others, because time is getting short. 

Day 100 He Came Once For All

 

4/10/2026

 "We now have this light shining in our hearts, 

but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. 

This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.” 

2 Corinthians 4:7 NLT

 

I awakened early this morning to find Alex in the kitchen, waiting by the door, wanting to be off on his morning tryst. He wasn't interested in food which leads me to believe he had already eaten earlier. No, Alex had bigger plans for his morning. Reluctantly, I opened the door and freed him, only to have him back at 7 am for his morning snack. He's been in and out all day, but so far he has not returned to spend the night. Cats definitely have minds of their own.

This morning the first person who came to mind was Jill, and her untimely death greatly disturbed me. Knowing she's with a great crowd of witnesses, in heaven, with her mom, should bring me peace, but the loss of mother, then daughter, has been very hard. I decided that I needed to get busy and see if I could muster the strength to clean to keep my mind from dwelling on this great sadness. Thankfully, I was able to vacuum and dust and scrub a couple of floors, not without events, but I did get the jobs done. I even vacuumed off my plush collection that sits along the top shelf of my bookcase. It was a good beginning. Now I just need to keep the momentum going.

As I was reading this morning, I happened upon a statement made by Dr. J Vernon McGee, who used to have a radio show call Thru the Bible. He had a monotone voice, rather high pitched, but pleasant with a country drawl. I used to love to hear him read through the Bible, then he'd explain the scriptures very clearly. The quote I read was this: "This is God's universe, and God does things His way. You may have a better way, but you don't have a universe." I imagine that statement stopped some people in their tracks. He was referring to man's idea of who a Savior should be. Sadly the church has much to do with people's mixed idea of why Jesus came and just what salvation includes. Even writing those words seems ridiculous to me, because it is blatantly obvious in the scriptures why Jesus left heaven to become man, so He could die a horrible death, to save us from our sins, so we wouldn't rot in hell, eternally separated from a God who loves us. After all, we didn't deserve this sacrifice. People have a hard time swallowing that truth too, but we are all sinners. Hebrews 9:27-28 puts it this way: "It is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment, so Christ was offered once to bear the sins of many. To those who eagerly wait for Him He will appear a second time, apart from sin, for salvation."

For me, that's great news! Knowing I can do nothing to earn salvation, but all I have to do is accept Christ's great sacrifice and surrender my life to God's perfect will. For me there is no better news, no better gift. I come empty-handed, in humility and with thanksgiving. The only treasure I need in this body is God's Spirit living within me, and the joy I feel is in sharing Him with others. Like I did with Jill and with her mom, and now they are enjoying His Presence with so many others. And although I'm here, waiting for my day to come, I want to continue to live daily in His Presence, listening for His leading, obedient to His word and His call.  

Day 99 Not What I Wanted

 

4/9/2026

"My heart is steadfast, O God,

my heart is steadfast; 

I will sing and give praise."

Psalm 57:7

 

I'm fighting to hold back the tears that I've been hiding inside all day. Each day I put on my smile that hides the deepest pain within my heart. I don't dare share my pain with anyone other than Jesus, because honestly He's the only one who can understand and respond in the appropriate way. He's the only one who truly knows me!  

This morning in the global prayer call we laid our feelings before the Lord, calling on His wisdom, recommitting ourselves to remain active as watchmen on the wall of Jerusalem. Today marked 916 days of daily prayer calls for Israel. We truly have witnessed countless answers to prayer and supernatural, divine intervention, and we fully realize that before all is said and done in this long battle, all men will come to the realization that only God could have done it! Only God is the one who can change the course of a nation. Throughout scripture this truth is repeated over and over and over again. Man can only do so much, but God will not share the glory with man. God alone receives the praise, honor, and glory!

This morning I was awakened by an unsettling dream, the meaning I still do not understand. I am reminded of a very cruel voice message I received from someone I love very much. It's not unique in that I have received so many messages like this, and things said to me directly. I know that the words are demonically inspired, but I feel so helpless to stop them, other than to separate myself for a season and devote the matter to prayer. The dream I had involved three newborn puppies, whose fates did not fare well, except possibly one. I pray for clarity if this dream is from the Lord. I know that I've been subjected to so many vicious attacks over the past four months that the enemy can also invade my dreams. I immediately remembered a time in my life when a little white kitten, who was blind, was used to torment me. But the dream unsettled me. I was able to worship and spend time with Abba, but I kept remembering and have been unable to fully put it to rest.

Later in the day I made a call to friend, and the conversation was interrupted several times by losing the call, because his phone needed to be charged. We persevered, and as he shared, I listened intently, as his words were so similar to what I am experiencing in my life. This brought some encouragement, as I mentioned previously, I do not talk to people easily. He challenged me to take a step of faith, as he had just done, to apply for a passport, so when, or if, the time comes, and God says "Go" I will be ready, as will he. Peter is an intercessor, like me, and he has been a spiritual father, for many years. He lives in Pagosa Springs, Colorado, and he lost his beloved wife Rebekah not too long ago. I know the loss is great for him, and it is also for me. I know she is safely in the arms of Jesus. That is our joy, but I know he really misses his handmaiden. I pray that I will be able to see Peter this side of heaven, but he is advancing in age way past me. What I realize more and more is that only God knows the length of our days. I shared with someone else today, who lost his wife also, that God must not be finished with us yet, as we remain behind. My only desire, other than seeing Jesus face to face, is to hear Him say, "Well done, My good and faithful servant," knowing that I completed the work He has for me to do. I believe we all feel that way.

After feeling better just for hearing from Peter, I decided to call my young friend, the daughter of my dear friend Irma who passed away shortly after I moved here in 2021. The circumstances were so disturbing that I do not go a day without remembering, the loss is still so great. Her daughter has been very close to me, and we have stayed in touch. Her birthday was the other day, and I hadn't heard back from her, so I tried to call her. She didn't answer my texts, so I was concerned. I finally called her dad, and I found out that Jill had passed away before Easter from pneumonia. Words cannot express the loss I feel. As I write these words, it's the first time I have been able to grieve. I loved her dearly, and although I could never take the place of her mother, she was like a daughter to me, and I knew that she loved me too. Her life had been one of many hurts, especially after losing her beloved husband, Jesse unexpectedly about ten years ago. But, in recent days she had been living life again, enjoying her children, the older a mother of two children. Her daughter Grace graduated last year, and her son may be graduating this year. I spoke to them not that long ago. I have such special memories, and I am grateful for those precious times, but the loss is more than I can bear at this time. I seem to be losing many people I love. 

We all have dreams. We all have hopes. I always wanted my children to have what I was denied, and I always supported their dreams. Sadly, I was not told certain things, and I cannot change what followed. But even if things happen in life, and our dreams seem to be over, I do believe with God all things are possible, and He can make a way where there seems to be no way. Scripture bears that truth. I hang on to that truth from His Word, because I hang on to my dreams. My life is not what I wanted for my myself, not what I had envisioned, but there is nothing I can do now except continue to take each step, each day, and live my life totally for Him.

So, I write, and I wait, and I learn from Him in the secret place. The closer I feel to Jesus, the more love I have for others, and the more I want to see them succeed in their lives. These turbulent days are so unsettling if one focuses on the negative, but if we put our trust in Jesus, and if we spend time in His Presence, we will be able to live in His peace and share this peace with others. That is a much better way to spend our days, as opposed to tearing each other down or listening to social media berate others. It's time to grow up and wise up and see the Lord while He may be found. He is the only truth! 

Day 98 By Faith

 

4/8/2026

"The same heat from the sun both hardens

the brick and melts the butter."  

Daily Walk

 

The weather has become so unpredictable, one day warm, the next much colder. It's also flu season, I understand, so I'm certain it is having a roller coaster effect on people, making them sick. It's interesting that although my immune system is compromised, I don't really get sick, or at least flu, colds or such. But I am still wrestling with whatever poison has attacked my body causing these rashes; it seems relentless. The good thing is that I am not scratching as much. I guess I'm getting used to the itching. That's a sad thought! I decided I'd take my chances and go outside and tackle some yard work. I can't hide forever, and whatever this malady is will eventually get out, or I sincerely hope so. Life sure can be fun!

I have discovered that Virginia has a Creeper! In fact it hides in bushes and trees, and it sneaks down to its unsuspecting prey and infects it with poisonous venom! It's a green five leaf vine that really infected my bushes by twisting and turning and attaching itself with vines that wrap around every twig and spreads underground. It's not as poisonous as poison ivy, oak, or sumac, but it can cause bad reactions in its victims. So this is one source of my problems, but it is not the thorn that stuck me, so that remains a mystery. Regardless, it is tenacious, and it will not go away. It is wearying, as any malady can be, but I am doing my best to get on with life, as much as I can.

I must admit that I've been having trouble focusing on writing today. It took some thought to get through yesterday's post, but once I began, it pieced itself together, at least as far I am concerned. I'm still asking Abba what it is I am supposed to be learning from all this isolation. My thoughts always go back to what we lost when we moved from Virginia to go the New Mexico, against God's timing. God is always true to His word, and today here I am, still picking up the pieces of lives, including my own, but He is with me. I don't understand, and I am beginning to realize that I don't need to know everything. I just need to trust Him. It's all He's asked of me, for the moment. James 1:2-4 gives us another perspective:

"Dear Brothers, is your life full of difficulties and temptations? Then be happy, for when the way is rough, your patience has a chance to grow. So let it grow, and don't try to squirm out of your problems. For when your patience is finally in full bloom, then you will be ready for anything, strong in character, full and complete." 

I always felt as if I was ready for anything, but then something happened. That's the way it goes. Confidence doesn't come easily, then when it does, the glow of the victory fades quickly. Is this my doing? Perhaps I didn't encourage myself enough. Did I become lazy and neglect the word? Did I not dwell in the secret place? Neither, thankfully, yet even so, there has been a quietness, and I know God's listening. I know He hears, and I know He listens. Miracles are everywhere, and each day is fresh and alive. All it takes is for me to open my heart, breathe deeply and enter into His Presence. All that is required is faith, the unwavering kind, even when an answer doesn't come: 

Hebrews 11:1-3, 6 AMP

"Now faith is the assurance (title deed, confirmation) of things hoped for (divinely guaranteed), and the evidence of things not seen [the conviction of their reality—faith comprehends as fact what cannot be experienced by the physical senses]. For by this [kind of] faith the men of old gained [divine] approval.By faith [that is, with an inherent trust and enduring confidence in the power, wisdom and goodness of God] we understand that the worlds (universe, ages) were framed and created [formed, put in order, and equipped for their intended purpose] by the word of God, so that what is seen was not made out of things which are visible."

"But without faith it is impossible to [walk with God and] please Him, for whoever comes [near] to God must [necessarily] believe that God exists and that He rewards those who [earnestly and diligently] seek Him."

Having faith only requires me to obediently continue to heed God's counsel, follow Him step by step each day, and share the love of Christ with everyone. He also instructs us to love others, do good to everyone, especially to those who treat us wrongly. My calendar quotation for the day says: "I have resolved to pray more and pray always, to pray in all places where quietness inviteth, in the house, on the highway, and on the street; and to know no street or passage in this city that may not witness that I have not forgotten God." (Sir Thomas Browne).

Timely advice. 

Day 97 Moon River

 

4/7/2026 

"Let the Spirit of God teach you what He is driving at

and learn not to grieve Him. If we are abiding in Jesus Christ

we shall ask what He wants us to ask, whether we are

conscious of doing so or not."

Oswald Chambers

 

As the days become darker and the world continues to spin out of control, I find my life becoming more peaceful in unexpected ways. I often feel as if I am doing something wrong, so I ask God to forgive me for whatever I am not doing. Why is it that I feel I need to always be doing something?! Can't it be enough to sit at the feet of Jesus and linger awhile, listening, even if hearing nothing, just resting. Why is silence so difficult for some? I've always loved being hidden away from everyone, tucked into a little hovel in the midst of a dense forest, mountains providing a canopy of majestic trees towering high against the bluest skies of heaven. A sea of color splashed against God's natural canvas of nature.  

I am reminded of Tolkien's story of The Hobbit - Bilbo Baggins - who lived in the woods in a Hobbit hole, but it was a fine, wooden cabin tucked into the side of the mountain, charming in every way. It seems so idyllic, and comfortable, inviting, as surely it was meant to be. It reminds me of times when people visited each other more often. I remember my daddy always took us to visit his sisters each weekend. We never traveled any further than a two hour drive to Alexandria where mama's great aunts lived, but as a child, I always loved visiting older relatives. Perhaps I am an old soul, but the trips were special. I especially enjoyed my second cousins, because we'd either go swimming or we'd roller skate up and down the sidewalks that rolled like hills. I enjoyed family. Now, unless I force the issue and make the connections, we don't visit, unless there's a funeral. That's kind of a dismal thought. Back then, I knew the names of everyone, but now, my cousins are grown, their children are grown, and their children have children. Trying to memorize faces and names of all these people is very challenging. Still, I make the effort. It would be nice to know the stories behind the names. I would love for someone to want to know who I am. I often wonder if my parents even knew who I had become. I lived so far away for thirty-five years, and although they visited me and I, them, it wasn't the same as living close. When I was alone, and my life changed so much, I doubt that they really knew who I had become, if I can put it that way. Or what I did for a living. Who I was and who I am. 

Life can get away from us. I'd like for them to know that my faith only grew stronger as did my love for Jesus. That I know they knew, because all I do is talk about Jesus and all He has done for me. They knew that I could sing, because they found that out when they visited me in New Mexico. I did sing in groups, in a choir, and solos in Virginia, but I guess they never heard me sing alone. I think they knew I was a puppeteer, but maybe not. Perhaps coming home after being away for so long is to get to know my family again. The only problem is that everyone is too busy to get together. But, I am determined that I won't let that keep me from trying. 

I was listening to Marty Goetz from House of Worship sing Moon River by Andy Williams. That really brought back memories for me. Even as a child I loved movie soundtracks, and I loved Andy Williams. My aunt gave me a Christmas album by him one year. Oh, how I cherished that record, and I played it over and over again, until someone decided that they would "borrow" it, but it was never returned. The memory still lingers on, so it's okay. I can remember, and I see it in my brain. When I saw the visual shots of the moon from Artemis II space craft, I thought of that song. God's universe is unimaginably brilliant in design and display against a galaxy of stars. I wonder how many people truly recognize how beautiful God made everything! Does anyone take the time to really look and see and appreciate it? If not they are missing out.

I think I'll sit awhile and enjoy the music and the scenery while there's still time. 

Day 96 The Next Thing

 

4/6/2026

"Never doubt in the dark what God 

told you in the light."

Daily Walk

 

As the end of day approaches I find myself exhausted and lost in thought. Now that Easter has passed - Resurrection Sunday - and Passover continues, the counting of the Omer (a sheaf of grain) began the second day of Passover which counts down the days before Shavuot (the giving of Torah at Mount Sinai), and for Christians it counts to Pentecost which is 50 days after the Resurrection of Christ. Does that sound confusing, or is it me? It is becoming increasingly difficult to live in both worlds. And yet, we should understand times and seasons, and one day, our calendar will be the same as the Jewish calendar, as it was meant to be. I will never understand how things became so complicated, but I imagine it is the same answer. Man wants to do things his way and not God's, so new rules. I am grateful that our observances crossed over so nicely this year. One day when Jesus returns, then all of this confusion will disappear. For now I remind myself that we know in part, and we see in part according to 1 Corinthians 13:9.

Today I read about the prophet Elijah and his showdown with the prophets of Baal on Mount Carmel. There had been no rain in Israel because of the sinful acts of King Ahab and his evil Queen Jezebel. Elijah told Ahab to have all the people and the 450 prophets of Baal and 400 prophets of Ashterah, who were supported by Jezebel, join him on Mount Carmel to determine whose god was truly God. The story of Elisha is found in 1 Kings 17-19 when he shows up and prophesies there will be no rain until he said so. It ended up being a drought for three years, but finally Elijah meets with Ahab on Mount Carmel to have a show down. The story is even amusing in how Elijah baited the false prophets as they danced, cut themselves, and exhausted themselves all day trying to get Baal to respond. Finally, it was Elijah's turn to call on His God. In a mighty display of power, God burned up the water soaked offering from the altar, leaving no doubt that Jehovah is God. After that Elijah asked the people to choose whom they would serve, and those who did not accept God were killed, along with all the prophets of Baal. Elijah had drawn a line in the sand.

What is interesting is that after this mighty display of God's power in using Elijah to do these things, Jezebel became angry and sent men out to hunt Elijah down to kill him, so Elijah became afraid. He  retreated to the wilderness where an angel saw to his needs and sent him on his 40 day trek to the mountains to seek God. When God asked Elijah why he was there, Elijah told God that all the prophets were dead, and He was the last one. God responded to Elijah first in a powerful display of wind and earthquakes, then in a still, small voice. God wasn't angry with him, but He did let Elijah know that he was not the only prophet left who had not bowed his knee to Baal. Instead God gave Elijah instructions which he carried out. 

Elijah is not the only example in the Bible of a prophet or man of God who has encountered times of discouragement, and that serve as examples to us, as we will become discouraged at times. I have many promises God has given me, in His word and otherwise, and often when I think about my age, I become frustrated, because I am not keeping my focus on Him. Numerous times I have mentioned my battle with age when it comes to visions and death to visions. Thinking about the Resurrection of Christ and the miracle of new life in Him, makes me so anxious to step out in faith and get things done. But, right now I have huge problem, my health is being attacked, and it is making it hard to do the next thing on some days. Today was a good day, and I was able to get the bushes cut down. Now I have to muster the strength to complete the job and dispose of the branches and vines. There's always something new that has to be done when one owns a house. It makes me wonder why I put myself in this predicament in the first place, but the home will be for my son, and it's a place where others can come for support. Perhaps it will one expand into my Home for Misfit Toys. Sometimes I wonder if I heard God's voice clearly about the move back to Virginia. I doubt myself often at times, but I don't want to return to life in the rabbit hole. I simply want to complete my purpose. 

Now as night has fallen, and everyone seems to be asleep in this neighborhood except me, I imagine I should call it a night myself. I'm not certain what tomorrow will bring, and that is not a huge concern for me. I'm getting good at take one step at a time and waiting for the revelation to come. Or at least I hope so. I have more on my heart, but I'll leave it at that. Be encouraged and strengthened by the Word of God today. God always keeps His promises. Selah. 

Day 95 Holy Week - Day 7 He's Alive

 

4/5/2026

 "Jesus said to her, 'I am the resurrection and the life. 

He who believes in Me, though he may die, he shall live

and whoever lives and believes in Me shall never die.

Do you believe this?'"

John 11:25-26

 

Scripture says that very early in the morning certain women who had been with Jesus had prepared spices and fragrant oils for His body. The scripture identifies the women as Mary Magdalene, Salome, Joanna, and Mary, the mother of James. When they got to the tomb they found that the stone had been rolled away, and the tomb was empty. As they were standing there not knowing what to do, suddenly there were two men standing by them in shining garments. 

"Then, as they were afraid and bowed their faces to the earth, they said to them, 'Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is not here, but is risen! Remember how He spoke to you when He was still in Galilee, saying "The Son of Man must be delivered into the hands of sinful men, and be crucified, and the third day rise again."' And they remembered His words." (Luke 24:5-8)

The ladies were told to tell the disciples and Peter that Jesus had risen form the dead and would meet them in Galilee, so they ran ahead. Mary Magdalene waited, then she saw a man that she mistook for the gardener. When He spoke to her, saying her name, her eyes were opened to see that she was speaking to Jesus. It has always seemed appropriate to me that Mary Magdalene should be the first of His followers to appear. Mary dearly loved Jesus, and He had transformed her life. He can still change lives, and He still does miracles.

Today I watched a movie called Risen starring Ralph Fiennes about a Centurion who is trying to find out the truth about Jesus' crucifixion, if He had indeed risen form the grave. The story takes us to the Centurion's encounter with the living Christ, whom he had witnessed dead on the cross. He could not reconcile what he saw with his own eyes, and he wanted it to be true. He located Jesus' followers where they are hiding, and he finds Jesus, alive, sitting with them. Jesus is showing a disciple his nail scarred hands and where his side had been pierced, then His penetrating eyes looked directly at the Centurion. He was blown away, and rightfully so. This pagan man who was always at war, slaughtering people unable to grasp the reality of what he was witnessing. He had paid a tribute to the god to whom he prayed, Mars, the god of war, and he asked for a day without war. This man was tired of his life, and he was seeking new life, without truly understanding or realizing how lost he had become. The story is very well done, and it brings in the humanity of man in his struggle to believe, forgive, and do the work Jesus has given them to do - go into all the world and teach the gospel. It shows the transformation of a hardened soul into a heart of flesh, desiring to know more. All he knows is that he will never be the same.

Isn't this the way we should all feel. To encounter the Living Christ is a transformation, a total turnaround from the lives we once lived. In our search for more and better, we do not see clearly that nothing will be able to fill the void in our lives except Jesus. 

Today we celebrate Resurrection Day! Jesus is alive, and He lives forever more. Let us exalt His Name together!  

Day 94 Holy Week - Day 6 The Tomb

 

4/4/2026

 "Then Jesus said, 'Father, forgive them,

for they do not know what they do.'"

Luke 23:34

 

Jesus has been crucified, and His body has been carefully and lovingly taken from the cross, wrapped in a shroud, and placed in a borrowed tomb owned by Joseph of Arimathea, a secret follower of Christ. The tomb was sealed by the Roman guards at the bidding of the religious leaders for fear, they said, someone would steal His body and say He had been resurrected. Since He died on the eve of Sabbath, the spices for His proper burial could not be prepared. So on this Sabbath day, the disciples waited. The women would make preparation at the end of Sabbath.

When the thief was beside Jesus on the cross, Jesus told him that he would be with Him in Paradise (Luke 23:43). So when Jesus died, He went to where Paradise was located, and He preached to those who had fallen asleep. There are many thoughts as to what Jesus meant by Paradise, but we do know it was not a place of suffering. Scriptures says that when Jesus cried out His final words "It is finished" and yielded up His Spirit that the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom. There was an earthquake and rocks split, graves were open, and many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep before actually came to life and walked around. Scriptures says the risen dead went into the holy city and appeared to many (Matthew 27:51-53). What an amazing testimony!

I often wonder what happened to the dead who walked out of their graves. The scriptures described them as "saints," meaning those who testified of His coming - the prophets - Ezekiel, Daniel, Moses, and others. I also wonder if those who welcomed Him into Jerusalem at the beginning of the week, only to have their hearts turned against Him at the end of the week, what attitude did they have when the skies darkened, the earth quaked? Did they, like the Centurion, acknowledge that Jesus truly was the Son of the Living God? One day we, who belong to Him, will know the answers. But for now, it is enough that He came, and He died - for us! For those who would say "Yes!" to His offer to free us from the burden of sin, from our falls from grace, our idiotic things we do. I don't want to miss Him. I want to glorify His Name, and that makes people uncomfortable. 

I've been called selfish, because I choose Christ over everyone or anything else. I am grateful for the person His love has created me to be. For years I blamed myself for things not even of my doing, and the only one who suffered was me. I was reading today about how children imitate their parents. Boys tend to follow the example of their father, and girls, their mother. I think about my mother who was a very kindhearted person, and she was very well liked. My parents were givers, so they were always sharing what they had, even when it hurt. My grandparents were the same. I look at my life, and I remember the things I've done that I wish I could take back, but that has been put into the sea of forgetfulness. Over the years of my life, I learned through hardship and pain. God always kept me going. I don't think I ever used the words "It's not fair," because I don't think that way. I was sick most of my life, but I lived my life. I've always smiled and kept going, even when I was dying inside. I have to laugh when I think about my journey. God can certainly shake things up, but it makes me love Him more. I am so grateful that His plan for my life is being worked out. I wish it could be the same for my children. He said it would, so I must trust Him.

In a few short hours, Mary Magdalene will be taking the spices to the tomb to prepare the body of Christ Jesus for a proper burial. What will she find? I wait in anticipation. 

Day 93 Holy Week - Day 5 The Kiss

 

4/3/2026

"Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me;

nevertheless not My will, but Yours be done."

  Luke 22:42

 

At the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus asked Peter, James, and John to watch while He goes into the garden to pray, where He agonizes before God about what is going to happen next. Three times Jesus returned to the apostles and found them sleeping. When Peter said he didn't know why he was so sleepy, Jesus said that their spirits were willing, but their flesh was weak. Obedience to what God is saying to us is often missed, plus many people find it hard to wait and pray or to do anything that requires time and commitment.  

"Then He came to His disciples and said to them, 'Are you still sleeping and resting? Behold, the hour is at hand, and the Son of Man is being betrayed into the hands of sinners. Rise, let us be going. See, My betrayer is at hand.'" (John 26:45-46).

While the apostles watched in stunned silence, not believing what they were seeing, Judas approached Jesus, and kissed Him on the cheek, in order to identify him for the temple guards as the one they were to arrest. As the guards tried arresting Jesus, Peter drew his sword and chopped off the ear of the high priest's servant. Jesus healed the servant's ear, and the guards arrested Jesus. Just as Jesus said would happen, the apostles scattered and ran away (Matthew 26:58). Peter and John followed at a safe distance, as Jesus is hurried off to the Sanhedrin to stand a mock trial. John was able to follow Jesus closely, while Peter had to stay behind. While warming himself at the fire, he denied knowing Jesus three times, then the rooster crowed, and Jesus turned His head and looked into Peter's eyes, without judgment, but with pure love. Peter instantly remembered what Jesus had said, and he left bitterly crying for his betrayal. 

Jesus was taken to the Sanhedrin where they asked Him question after question trying to get Him to condemn Himself. Jesus kept silent, until they asked him if He was the Christ, the son of God.

"Jesus said to him, 'It is as you sad. Nevertheless, I say to you, hereafter you will see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of the Father, and coming on the clouds of heaven.'" (Matthew 26:64). 

This response was just what they needed to accuse Him of blasphemy. They spit on Him, mocked Him, and beat Him. Then they sent Jesus off to Pilate to be judged and condemned to die. Judas, feeling remorseful, could not deal with his guilt, so he hung himself. I've often wondered if Judas repented would he be forgiven. I am convinced that true repentance brings cleansing and forgiveness. Peter was restored after he repented and turned back to Jesus. The thief on the cross beside Jesus asked for Jesus to remember him in His kingdom, and Jesus said, "Today you will be with Me in paradise." (Luke 23:43).

Jesus died a terrible death for us - for our sins -  He took our place on that cross, and He suffered the torment that we deserved. As He died, shedding His blood, people were killing their lambs, preparing their Passover meal. Jesus was the Passover Lamb who covered our sins, and He died once and for all. The blood of lambs and goats would never be enough. As Jesus hung on the cross, at the sixth hour (12 noon) to the ninth hour there was darkness over the land. At the ninth hour Jesus cried out to God, ("Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani? that is, My God, My God why have You forsaken Me?" (Matthew 27:46)  God, who is Holy and Perfect, could not look on sin. When Jesus died, there was an earthquake, rocks split, and the veil in the temple was torn. All prophecy had been fulfilled, and Jesus said "It is finished!" and He died.

Each time we have communion, we remember His sacrifice, in the sharing the cup and the bread. We are told to examine our hearts and repent before we partake of the blood and body of Christ. Too many people have made communion into a habit, something they do every now and then, but it is not to be taken without self-examination and repentance. I pray that during this Passover celebration and Resurrection Sunday, we will find peace for our souls. Perhaps a new direction or season in life. God knows the plans He has for us, so we do not worry or become anxious knowing our God can do great things.  

Day 92 Holy Week - Day 4 Maundy Thursday

 

4/2/2026

"...for I say to you, I will not drink of the

fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes."

Luke 22:18

 

Things are really getting stirred up in Jerusalem as Jesus prepares His disciples for what is to come. On this evening Jesus institutes the New Covenant of His blood and the observance of the Lord's Supper. Judas has already been to the Sanhedrin and made a deal to betray Jesus for thirty pieces of silver. The die is cast.

"When the hour had come, He sat down, and the twelve apostles with Him. Then He said to them, 'With fervent desire I have desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer; for I say to you, I will no longer eat of it until it is fulfilled in the kingdom of God.' Then He took the cup, and gave thanks, and said, 'Take this and divide it among yourselves; for I say to you, I will not drink of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes.' And He took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, 'This is My body which is given for you; do this in remembrance of Me.' Likewise He also took the cup after supper, saying, 'This cup is the new covenant in My blood, which is shed for you. But behold, the hand of My betrayer is with Me on the table. And truly the Son of Man goes as it has been determined, but woe to that man by whom He is betrayed!' (Luke 22:24-22).

When I was growing up I remember my mother speaking to me about "Maundy Thursday," but of course back then I wasn't fully understanding of the meaning. It means "I give you a new commandment." John 13:31-35 says, So, when he had gone (Judas), Jesus said, 'Now the Son of Man is glorified, and God is glorified in Him. If God is glorified in Him, God will also glorify Him in Himself, and glorify Him immediately. Little children, I shall be with you a little while longer. You will seek Me, and as I said to the Jews, 'Where I am going, you cannot come, ' so Now I say to you. A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. by this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.'" After this Jesus tells Peter that he will betray Him three times before the rooster crows. This has got to be a real blow to the gut for Peter, who boldly says that even if everyone else betrays Him, he never will. I can almost see the rooster glance towards Peter, give a wink and muffle a crow. Right before Jesus predicts Peter's denial, the apostles are quarreling over who will be the greatest, and who will sit on Jesus' left and right side when His Kingdom comes. Imagine Jesus having to put up with this childishness when He is about to lay down His life for His friends. Something they still could not grasp. I'm certain that a once calm Jesus became otherwise by showing anxiety, fear, and intense emotional suffering, but it did not reassure them of what laid ahead. 

So while Judas is off getting his plan squared away to betray Jesus, the apostles were gathered with Jesus preparing to leave and go into the Garden of Gethsemane, where Jesus would cry out to God about the torture, abuse, insults, and abandonment He would endure with the crucifixion. In the Garden Jesus asks Peter, John and James to watch and wait, as He wanted to pray. Because the flesh is weak, they each fell asleep, three times while Jesus agonized in prayer with the Father, 

"Coming out, He went to the Mount of Olives, as He was accustomed, and His disciples also followed Him. When He came to the place, He said to them, 'Pray that you may not enter into temptation.' And He was withdrawn from them about a stone's throw, and He knelt down and prayed, saying, 'Father, if it is Your will , take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not My will, buy yours be done.'" (Luke 22:39-42).

There are a lot of raw emotions on the part of the entire group, but by far, Jesus suffered the most, and He did not speak one word to the leadership about the crucifixion. 

Much to consider in these passages, but God has been faithful throughout all the generations. Tomorrow we'll continue the supper. 

Day 91 Holy Week - Day 3 Passover Begins

 

4/1/2026

 John saw Jesus coming toward him and said, “Look! 

The Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!” 

John 1:29 NLT

 

The Passover Lamb had to be perfect, without spot or blemish, so once the little fellow was chosen, he was taken home and protected and loved, like a family pet. I imagine it was very hard, especially for children, when the lamb was sacrificed for the meal. I remember a family meal where a goat was to be prepared. My husband's family was rather large, and we had gathered to honor his elderly parents. The Hispanic culture shows great respect for their elders. We had gathered at the ranch, and my children were still small and busy with their cousins, riding horses, and enjoying the countryside. We have always loved the outdoors, as it offers great peace and much creative fun, like when I was a youngster growing up at my grandparents' country home. The kids were standing beside me, and my husband's older brother brought over the goat to show the kids. He was so cute, and the children were petting him, probably giving him a name, when out of the blue, a knife is pulled out, and the little guy's throat was slit, right in front of my startled children's eyes! Imagine the trauma. I know I was very upset, as I did not find it humorous, if that was his intention. Jewish children grew up observing sacrifices, and there were continual, daily sacrifices. Jesus took the place of endless animal sacrifices that could only temporarily atone for sin. But He died once and for all! I pray that this year the Spirit of the Living God will manifest His Presence, and eyes will be opened so that God's chosen people will know Messiah already came, and He will be returning again.

Today is the first day of Passover, and at this moment the Seder meal has been completed in Israel. Friends and family are gathered to remember how God delivered them and freed them, and how He keeps His covenant with them as His Chosen People. The Seder meal re-enacts Israel's deliverance from slavery, and each component of the meal is significant to that first night, representing the Passover story that is repeated annually, as scripture commands them to do.

When Jesus was gathered with His disciples on that night, He washed His disciples' feet, even His betrayer's feet, as an example to them as to how they are called to be servants, as His ministry demonstrated the life of a servant. When the people gathered and shouted out Hosanna! Hosanna! they believed that Jesus, the Messiah, was coming to set them free from the slavery of the Romans. Jesus, Son of David, would take His rightful place as King, but this was not the mission God sent Jesus to earth to do. Had the religious leaders studied Isaiah 53 and other prophetic accounts, they would have realized that He came as the suffering servant, the Passover Lamb, and they would have embraced a different kingdom.

"And supper being ended, the devil having already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon's son, to betray Him, Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going to God, rose from supper and laid aside His garments, took a towel and girded Himself. After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded. Then He came to Simon Peter. And Peter said to Him, 'Lord, are You washing my feet?' Jesus answered and said to him, ,'What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will know after this.' Peter said to Him, 'You shall never wash my feet!' Jesus answered him, 'If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me.'" (John 13:2-8)

Imagine how sad it must have been for Jesus to wash His betrayer's feet! I don't know if I could have done it, but then Jesus calls us to forgive others who betray and persecute us, those who are spiteful and vengeful against us when we are not their offenders. Sometimes it's easier for people to use us, because they know regardless of how badly they treat us and wrongfully, we will forgive, love, and continue to support and bless them. I grapple with that one a lot, because I wonder how long, O Lord?! Then I remember the seventy times seven lesson Jesus taught. It was His way of saying we always forgive. After all, He did, and this Passover and Easter season demonstrate His great love, God's great redemption plan. God's timing is always perfect, and I was just put to the test as I began writing this post. I feel helpless in helping someone I love very much, and regardless of how much I want to help, I can never say the right thing or do the right thing. So, I pray, and I ask Abba for a pascal miracle, for divine intervention, as this is the only hope. Jesus Christ is the only hope for mankind. When will surrender our human flesh and allow Him to deliver us. He is the only One who can. 

Caught in a Fog

 

3/30/2026

"Once upon a time...."

  

Have you ever been caught up in a daze of confusion, like your head is spinning out of control and you're wandering through a thick forest trail with tree limbs smacking you in the face, landing you on your seat, and there doesn't seem to be a way out of this wooded maze? Well, that's me! I've been in a dense fog going into the fourth week, and all this, I am convinced, has happened because of my thorny experience. So round and round I go, accomplishing very little. I even find my self itching again, but it must be an internal reaction, as I do not see an angry rash as before. I feel as if I'm in the Twilight Zone. Since I haven't been able to accomplish very much, I spend much time thinking. That can be good or bad. This being Holy Week, plus I'm binging The Chosen and trying to exercise while watching Out of Africa, so I feel like an emotional basket case on top of every other feeling. And NO! this is not age-related.  I have a friend who attributes every mood swing or change in temperature with getting older.

It's already past midnight by a few minutes, but I'm determined to finish something today! Actually, I have been attempting to clean the bathtub and clean up the bathroom all day, so I pushed on, and I did accomplish the task. It was with a great deal of trepidation, as every time I leaned over the tub, I had to steady myself from falling headlong into the tub. For some reason, this is part of the reaction I have been having to taking medications in a chemical free system. I remember one time, when I was in a great deal of pain, and I couldn't relax my legs, so I would dance around the house, listening the worship music or movie soundtracks. My husband, feeling helpless and wanting to help, gave me muscle relaxers hoping to calm the spasms in my body, and I reacted to them so fiercely that he had to haul me to the emergency room. I literally was having some sort of hallucinations, as I vaguely remember lying on the table in the emergency room with my legs straight up in the air, kicking them and laughing. Besides that, in his haste to get me to the ER, he allowed me to dress myself, and let's just say that underclothes were on the wrong side of the body. When I calmed down, and the medicine was out of my body, I heard about it. It's a wonder I've ever had the nerve to show my face in public again! Hopefully, and eventually, these steroids will be cleared from my system, and I'll be able to repair the damage. I'd hate to go another four weeks in this condition. 

I'm feeling like the bear at the top of the page, minus the wine, as I don't drink, but then, perhaps it might be something to consider given my present state of mind. Nope, won't work, as I'd be even worse! I can't even imagine what that would be like, but I can identify with the little fella otherwise. I feel wasted!

And with that last note, I will say goodnight to all my adoring fans. I do have adoring fans, right?! Well, if someone happens to run across this silly little post, just know better days are ahead, and although I am a little...okay, a lot, out of my head, I will overcome this, and it will provide more laughter, because so much has not been shared. I am indeed fearfully and wonderfully made.

Night all!

Day 90 Holy Week - Day 2

 

3/31/2026

"It is written, 'My house is a house of prayer,' but you

have made it a den of thieves.'"

Luke 20:46

 

Jesus has entered Jerusalem, wept over the city, and afterwards He went rogue in the temple, throwing out the money changers and breaking up the tables selling animals for sacrifice. The temple had become a place of making extra money for the synagogue, no doubt to pay temple taxes to Rome, but it also went to the opulent lifestyle in which the religious people lived. Jesus did not mince words when it came to calling out the scribes and Pharisees for their form of godliness. In Matthew 23 Jesus was speaking to the disciples and the multitudes which included Pharisees and other religious spies who followed Jesus around. 

Woe to the Scribes and Pharisees

23 Then Jesus spoke to the multitudes and to His disciples, ² saying: “The scribes and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. ³ Therefore whatever they tell you to observe, that observe and do, but do not do according to their works; for they say, and do not do. ⁴ For they bind heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on men’s shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers. ⁵ But all their works they do to be seen by men. They make their phylacteries broad and enlarge the borders of their garments. ⁶ They love the best places at feasts, the best seats in the synagogues, ⁷ greetings in the marketplaces, and to be called by men, ‘Rabbi, Rabbi.’ ⁸ But you, do not be called ‘Rabbi’; for One is your Teacher, the Christ, and you are all brethren. ⁹ Do not call anyone on earth your father; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven. ¹⁰ And do not be called teachers; for One is your Teacher, the Christ. ¹¹ But he who is greatest among you shall be your servant. ¹² And whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.

¹³ “But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut up the kingdom of heaven against men; for you neither go in yourselves, nor do you allow those who are entering to go in. ^14 [g]Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you devour widows’ houses, and for a pretense make long prayers. Therefore you will receive greater condemnation.

¹⁵ “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you travel land and sea to win one proselyte, and when he is won, you make him twice as much a son of hell as yourselves.

¹⁶ “Woe to you, blind guides, who say, ‘Whoever swears by the temple, it is nothing; but whoever swears by the gold of the temple, he is obliged to perform it.’ ¹⁷ Fools and blind! For which is greater, the gold or the temple that sanctifies the gold? ¹⁸ And, ‘Whoever swears by the altar, it is nothing; but whoever swears by the gift that is on it, he is obliged to perform it.’ ¹⁹ Fools and blind! For which is greater, the gift or the altar that sanctifies the gift? ²⁰ Therefore he who swears by the altar, swears by it and by all things on it. ²¹ He who swears by the temple, swears by it and by Him who dwells in it. ²² And he who swears by heaven, swears by the throne of God and by Him who sits on it.

²³ “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faith. These you ought to have done, without leaving the others undone. ²⁴ Blind guides, who strain out a gnat and swallow a camel!

²⁵ “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you cleanse the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of extortion and self-indulgence. ²⁶ Blind Pharisee, first cleanse the inside of the cup and dish, that the outside of them may be clean also.

²⁷ “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which indeed appear beautiful outwardly, but inside are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. ²⁸ Even so you also outwardly appear righteous to men, but inside you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness.

²⁹ “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! Because you build the tombs of the prophets and adorn the monuments of the righteous, ³⁰ and say, ‘If we had lived in the days of our fathers, we would not have been partakers with them in the blood of the prophets.’

³¹ “Therefore you are witnesses against yourselves that you are sons of those who murdered the prophets. ³² Fill up, then, the measure of your fathers’ guilt. ³³ Serpents, brood of vipers! How can you escape the condemnation of hell? ³⁴ Therefore, indeed, I send you prophets, wise men, and scribes: some of them you will kill and crucify, and some of them you will scourge in your synagogues and persecute from city to city, ³⁵ that on you may come all the righteous blood shed on the earth, from the blood of righteous Abel to the blood of Zechariah, son of Berechiah, whom you murdered between the temple and the altar. ³⁶ Assuredly, I say to you, all these things will come upon this generation.

Jesus Laments over Jerusalem

³⁷ “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, the one who kills the prophets and stones those who are sent to her! How often I wanted to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing! ³⁸ See! Your house is left to you desolate; ³⁹ for I say to you, you shall see Me no more till you say, ‘Blessed is He who comes in the name of the Lord!’ ”

 

As one would imagine this did not bode well for Jesus, but it was necessary as part of God's plan for redemption. I don't want to sound overly critical, or judgmental at all, but if Jesus appeared in our services, what would he find? And what should He find? I understand the need to be prepared for a Sunday message, but what if Holy Spirit decided to mix things up. How would that be received by those in attendance? We always say that we want to invite the presence of Holy Spirit, yet we sing a few songs, and we get on with the next item on the bulletin. There's always a program set for a certain amount of time, as people don't want to linger long. Their stomachs begin to complain. I remember a time when we waited upon the Lord, and we cried and prayed for the needs of the people. There was no set time, yet God in His mercy always allowed that man should eat. Jesus is the Bread of Life. He is the Living Water. He is our bread and meat. Quite often I have spoken about the younger kids rushing to the churches, Bibles in hand, hungry for the Word of God. Hardly anyone brings a Bible to church anymore, because it is printed on a screen before them. Personally, I want to hold the Word of God in my hands. I want to reference it, follow along in it, mark it, and write notes on the sides. How well I remember those days of endless worship, as it happened to me. I was insatiable, and thankfully, I still am. Sometimes when I'm listening to Jesus Image, and the Presence of God is so tangible, I have to lie down on the floor, and I could stay there for hours. This is rare today. I'm not talking about denomination. Jesus didn't have an organized, labeled church. He had followers who went out and taught and made more disciples. What are we doing?

I've been considering where to attend Resurrection Sunday this weekend, if my health allows, because I don't want to go where everything is rushed, including Communion. I want to rejoice, because He is alive! He has risen from the dead! I don't need pancake breakfasts or entertainment. I just need Jesus! He is more than enough for me. 

How will He find us? How do you want to be found? Will there be oil in your lamp? Dearest Lord, purify our hearts, and make them holy and true. 

Hoshianah! Lord, save us!

Day 89 Holy Week - Day 1

 

3/30/2026

"Now as He drew near, He saw the city

and wept over it."

Luke 19:41

 

When Jesus rode into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday, He was greeted with the crowds waving palm leaves, laying clothing on the street, shouting "Hosanna! Hosanna in the highest!" The Pharisees and religious leaders tried to force Jesus to silence those who welcomed Him, but He responded to them, "I tell you that if these should keep silent, the stones would immediately cry out." (Luke 19:40) In Matthew's account, the chief priests and scribes were indignant when the children were heard crying out in the temple and saying "Hosanna to the Son of David!" (Matthew 21:15). Jesus silenced them with words found in Psalm 8:2, "Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants You have perfected praise." The religious leaders knew that they were welcoming Messiah, recognizing Jesus as King, because scripture said that God had established an everlasting covenant with David, and that the Messiah would rule from Zion. Jesus rightly said to them that they "strain out a gnat and swallow a camel." Isaiah 53 is never read in the synagogues. One portion of the Old Testament erased. Interesting and sad for supposed scholars who spent their entire lives studying the law of Moses.

In the midst of the praise and celebration, Jesus wept, because He knew what would happen, and He lamented that they did not know the hour of their visitation. I wonder how much has really changed? I am not speaking of Israel, although for the most part they do not recognize Jesus as their Messiah. It has always baffled me how spiritually blind people can be when the whole of scripture speaks of Jesus. I'm sure that if Jesus rode into many cities, He would wept. 

When the Pharisees asked Jesus about the kingdom of God, desiring to know when this would happen, Jesus answered them by saying: "The kingdom of God does not come with observation; nor will they say, 'See here!' or 'See there!' For indeed, the kingdom of God is within you." (Luke 17:20-21) He told them that before anything happened, man would search for Him, but He would not be found. He spoke of His suffering and rejection by that generation. "And as it was in the days of Noah, so it will be also in the days of the Son of Man. They ate, they drank, they married wives, they were given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered the ark, and the flood came, and the flood came and destroyed them all. Likewise as it was also in the days of Lot: They ate, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they built; but on the day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and brimstone from heaven and destroyed them all." What Jesus is saying is that life will be business as usual when He comes, but I wouldn't want to be caught in that position doing "what every man considers right," when Jesus returns. And yet, this is not being taught. 

My prayer for the nation of Israel, for my own nation, and for those around the world is that God will divinely visit each person, shining the Light of His Presence al over us, that we would finally see our sin in all its ugliness and repent. We have been praying for a mighty outpouring of God's Spirit on all flesh, and that all would be drawn to Him. May the people of Israel, God's Chosen People, recognize their King!

This morning I was swept away up into worship with my King of Glory, while visiting Jesus Image and playing the song "Only the Blood of Jesus Christ." I believe it to be sufficient for the day: 

"Blood of Christ
Wash over me
Wash over me
Though sin has stained me

Blood of Christ
Come speak for me
My covering
It is Your Glory

CHORUS
We need the Blood
We plead the Blood
Receive the Blood
The Blood of Christ

We need the Blood
We plead the Blood
Receive the Blood
The Blood of Christ

VERSE

Perfect Lamb
And Highest Priest
Poured out Yourself
For all to drink

The Offerer
And Offering
You took the cup
And so will we

CHORUS
We need the Blood
We plead the Blood
Receive the Blood
The Blood of Christ

BRIDGE
What tore the veil
What empties hell
What never fails
Only the Blood

What testifies
What prophesies
Your Death is Life
Only the Blood"

May we all be waiting in anticipation for the day of the Lord, the return of Messiah, when He will split the eastern sky, and all will know, every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord. Lord of all!

Day 88 Palm Sunday

 

3/29/2026 

"As the echo of the crunching of apple

was still sounding in the garden [of Eden], 

Jesus was leaving for Calvary."

Max Lucado

And the Angels Were Silent

 

For three weeks now I have been experiencing unusual mornings. I haven't been well, because of an exposure to something that poisoned my body, so this has made me even more sensitive at times as physical discomfort can be challenging and a bit of a distraction. My quiet time while somewhat different has still been special, as I must have time alone, in the secret place, or I really don't function well. Sitting at the feet of Jesus, being in the Presence of Abba, has become my life, so any change is hard. I'm jealous for this time alone with God.

This morning as I awakened, I reached for my phone, so I could turn on a song. I had been running The Chosen App, so one of the episodes was playing. It was the scene where Mary of Bethany anoints Jesus' feet with oil of spikenard, an exotic and expensive perfume, and she wipes his feet with her hair. She is preparing Jesus for His burial, without realizing it of course, but this is how He explained it to the ones who were troubled by her worship. It was hard to pull my eyes away, knowing the story so well, but I did close the app, and I turned on my worship music. I Enter the Holy of Holies by Paul Wilbur began to play, and immediately I was taken back to the scene of Mary worshiping Jesus. "I enter the holy of holies, I enter through the blood of the Lamb; I enter to worship You only, I enter to honor I Am. Lord, I worship You. I worship You. Lord, I worship You, I worship You. For Your Name is holy, holy, Lord."

I began to remember the very first solo I sang in church. It was Palm Sunday, and I was singing the special for the morning service. I recall how anxious I felt, so I prayed silently for God to just take me away, allow me to get so caught up in the song, that the presence of the people would not distract me. So, I decided to close my eyes as I sang. The song was Via Dolorosa, and I was singing it in English and Spanish. If you're familiar with the song, it is quite haunting, as it mournfully cries of Jesus carrying the cross to Golgotha where He will be crucified. He's being pushed by soldiers who are trying to clear the streets of people crowding the sides of the street, watching, perhaps shouting. Jesus had been beaten severely, bleeding, weakened by the torture, hardly able to stand much less carry the cross. As I write this words, I can see Him, and the memory becomes more finally chiseled into my mind and cuts into my heart. I am a visual learner, with a creative mind, so I see things that I cannot unsee. I don't want to forget what He did for me, not that I could.

So my quiet time this morning was spent in tears, writing feverishly in my journal, attempting to capture my feelings on paper. So here I sit, ready to tell the story, and yet the words cannot come. I remain intensely emotional, even as I think about this entire day. And I don't know how to share what I am feeling with others, for fear I will be misunderstood, but I imagine I already am that...misunderstood or considered a nutcase because of my passion for Jesus.

I wonder sometimes if anyone really understands how much God loves them, and how far He went to prove the point. As I sat there this morning, another song came on, a worship medley, by Jesus Image. Sometimes when I need to sit quietly and think deeply about some things on my heart, I listen to their worship songs, as they are not timed. Before they begin to worship, they have prayed, and the Presence of God is so thick, even in the music. Holy Spirit leads the worship, so there is no hurry to move on to the next thing. There's no pretense of being anyone other than someone hungry for God. I understand that insatiable hunger for more and more of His Presence. It is tangible. And this was my morning.

I wasn't able to attend church services locally because I was still very ill and weak, as I would have loved to do, but I did attend online services at a couple of churches I attend weekly. It was a very full day, and I am grateful for the blessing. Tonight I watched a special event with The Chosen, as we await the showing of the sixth season, Jesus' final day filmed in a series of eight episodes. This series has been a wonderful adventure over the past five years as I've journeyed with those portraying the life and ministry of Jesus Christ. And as I have testified before, it is masterfully done, and it has added great meaning to my life, as well as touching the lives of thousands of people around the world. The impact has been tremendous, and so many lives have been changed.

And that was my day. As I prepare for bed, before I close my eyes, I'll think about the day, wondering what morsel of truth I can glean from the intensity of it. I'll turn on The Chosen and begin the fifth season, as we're still binging for Holy Week. The one thing that carries me forward is my express desire to finish well for Him. I don't want to fail Him by not doing the one thing I was born and put here to do for His glory. I want to Honor I Am. We each have a destiny unique to ourselves. I pray I am successful in His call.   

But, for now, I rest.