Someday

"Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will

go to this or that city spend a year there, carry on

business and make money." Why, you do not even 

know what will happen tomorrow."

James 4:13-14

"Someday, I will have time to call and chat."

"Someday the children will understand why I was so busy."
But you know the truth, don't you? You know even before I 

write it. You could say it better than I. Someday never comes."

Max Lucado

And The Angels Were Silent

Well said James and Max! Well said! And very relevant to my life, and probably to many others, if we are honest. I think with the rapidly changing climate of our government this comment makes a valid point even closer to reality than one may think. It's a frightening thing and a huge risk to keep putting things off until tomorrow. Time is running out. "Someday" may never come, and we remain "stuck" in a state of limbo, or worse, a state of stagnation eventually leading to death, accomplishing nothing.

For the past few days I have been revisiting things in my mind, as I encounter problems which need to be put to task. I've thought about the faithfulness of God through all the ups and downs and in betweens of my life. He has given me courage under fire, confidence in the face of conflict, armed me with faith, trust, and humility, and knowing in Whom I have believed. That's power that comes only from believing and trusting.

This year I want to take more affirmative steps toward accomplishing some of my "somedays." It will require more discipline on my part, but if I think about it too hard, I will draw the ultimate conclusion that I don't have time, or so I tell myself, but I really do. So many ideas run through my mind non stop that the "noise" inside my brain becomes maddening at times. I guess that's the price one pays for having a creative mind. Perhaps that's why most artists appear to be insane or are "labeled" as insane!

Yesterday I hung a new canvas in my office. There is a bird standing on a tree limb with the words,  "You are free to fly" written across the canvas. I decided earlier this year that I wanted my office to be fun, so this print joined one of Snoopy and Woodstock that I have hanging over my desk. It's a beginning to my goal of cleaning out and sprucing up. The work I do can be very stressful, because I am trying to encourage people not to give up or give in to their circumstances in one way or another. I deal with pretty serious circumstances at times, in a political system that is always changing. So, I have decided that I need as much encouragement as I can possible squeeze into my little home office space. My computer monitor is covered with scriptures that keep my focus on positive character-building words. I have two bulletin boards that hang to the side over my personal office space loaded with memories, scripture, and dreams. I have yet another board that I need to put back up on my wall which will hold prayer requests from across the world, as this room is also my War Room for standing in the gap. I have to remain focused on the true work in which God has called me. The higher purpose here is the Good News!

I was sharing with my friend today that I have always wanted to have a foster child to love and nurture, helping him or her realize the gifts within.  As you know my plans extend far beyond one child, but again, it is a beginning. Before I can begin to think about anything else I need to get my ducks in a row which includes cleaning out the spare room and filing old files from boxes cluttering the available space. Then I can make it into a guest room, work room, or if things go well, a child's room. That's the plan...for now.  I say "for now," because quite honestly I am also making additional plans that may change my location. But for now I can only focus on one step, one day at a time. The fact that I am actually beginning to make steps is progress, as I have been "stuck" for such a long, long time.

As long as I am focused I will be able to accomplish my daily goals. I am a list maker, because I need to feel I have accomplished something each day, and that encourages me to make another list, then another, checking off tasks, just as I do for my job each day. It works!  I was listening to Klove this week, and Amy on the morning show was talking about her lists, and it seems other people find it valuable as well. That was encouraging. I need encouragement to keep me motivated. So each day I will set my daily goals, and then check them off one by one. Eventually, the lists will grow smaller, and hopefully the result will be permanently removing a "Someday" from my life.

I admit to you very openly that holidays are very difficult for me, even moreso since my parents passed away. I feel at times that I don't really have a sense of "home," of "belonging." There are days I have a greater hope than others, but reality quickly fades it away, and I am back to wondering where I really belong, where "home" really is for me. As long as I am at home, meaning the place I live, I am content the majority of time, but the place I feel the most a part of, where I feel a sense of belonging is when I am on the road, visiting the people I serve. I love giving hope to others, and I am strengthened knowing I have helped them become a bit more empowered to accomplish their goals in life or to help them see they too have a purpose!

I was reminded this morning in a young pastor's sermon that God has plans for us we know not. He has plans, according to Jeremiah 29:11, for each of us to prosper us, and to give us a future and a hope! This young pastor is the son of my former pastor and close friend in Colonial Heights, Virginia. I even had the privilege of bringing this pastor, when he was a child, here to my home in New Mexico. Seeing him the head pastor of a huge ministry gives me so much pride. This morning he reminded me of all the things God has already spoken to my heart. He confirmed the direction of the children's ministry God has placed on my heart with the EXACT WORDS God had spoken to me. I sometimes doubt whether God says things to me or my own imagination has taken over, so confirmation is very reassuring to me. So thank you, kiddo, for being God's voice today.

For today I have my list, and I have some direction, so as the song goes, "Step by step He leads me, and I will follow Him in all of His ways!"