One thing this year has taught me thus far is that my Abba is not only with me in the dark places, but even in the darker still places where there is no room for speculation, only trust. There can be no mirrors, no reflections, only blind faith.
Waiting is the most difficult place to be, and it seems, at times, as if I have been in that "place" for much of my life, and most certainly have been for the last several years since my daddy's death. The vision never changes, and "players" remain the same. With each new day the need expands to unimaginable proportions, and I begin to feel as if I know how Abraham and Sarah felt in their old age waiting without seeing tangible proof. It is as if I question if His word is not enough, but like Abraham, I can say He has more than proven that He means what He says.
As I kneel before Him in our quiet times together, I pull a promise written on old file card from my personal "promise box" I have had many, many years, and I remember and smile, because His promises never fail.
My children used to tell me I had a goofy smile on my face when I was watching "sappy" movies. Last night as I was watching "When Calls the Heart" on Netflix, I caught a brief glimpse of my reflection in the laptop screen, and I saw indeed the goofy smile across my face. I was smiling, because I knew that with God all things are possible, and that as long as we trust Him, things always work out to those who are called according to His purpose.
This year has already proven to be most arduous in my personal and spiritual walk. They are one in the same, as my only desire is to follow His will for my life. So, as I wait and I stand, I will keep my face like a flint, directed only on what He says is so, not on what these eyes see in the natural or my ears hear to the contrary. I will remain steadfast, knowing He will do what He says He will do, and He will bring me home again.
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