Sunday Musing

"Jesus wept. He wept not for the dead but for the living.

He wept not for the one in the cave of death but

for those in the cave of fear. He wept for those who,

though alive, were dead. He wept for those who,

though free, were prisoners, held captive

by their fear of death."

Max Lucado

Six Hours One Friday

Passivity and apathy are two words I abhor because they denote indifference, and that condition is not for the living, but rather for those who have chosen death over life. To choose to not see and not care simply because one may have to change their way of thinking or acting is not acceptable to me. And yet it is fast becoming the "norm" in our world today.

Being on the front lines daily of what could only be considered a war zone is changing my life for the better. The fact that I have survived this long is a miracle to me, as there are days I am so tired of the battle. Still I train others to hold their ground and not back down, as I aim to do the same until someone listens.

I don't want a single second of my life to be about me. I want my lifestyle to be a reflection of the love of God seeping from every pore. I want to brighten a room when I walk in, bringing life and encouragement. My desire is to carry laughter into homes where oppressive spirits have built strongholds of defeat. I want to kick evil in the butt as it scurries out the door in fear of the authority of Jesus. Imagine what life would be like if we all stood up and faced the enemy with the same tenacity and courage. Personally I am sick of him trying to mess with my family, and I will fight tooth and nail to break down every lying, deceptive spirit that holds my loved ones captive.

Today I was listening to a set of tapes by Francis Frangipane called "War Mode." He has such an easy manner of speaking the truth regarding the condition of our nation and world, beginning with the state of our own. Before we can wage spiritual warfare we first must be willing to examine our own hearts. Since the first of this year I have been readying myself for what comes next, as I know I have a battle ahead of me. Knowing it really doesn't frighten me, because I know God is by my side, and as my friend loves to say, "He is holding my right hand."

I don't want to not know something because it may upset me. Rather, I want to know so I am better equipped to deal with the source of it. Things do happen for a reason, and although I sometimes begin to wonder "what if" I'd never moved to New Mexico, I quickly re-focus on the present, as it serves no purpose to go back in time. Truth is that all these struggles have helped me become the person I am today, and although I still make mistakes, as we all do, I can forgive myself and move on.

It is a lonely life at times, a costly one as well, but it is the place in which I stand today, and tomorrow I will leave in God's most capable hands.