Sunday afternoon at the movies is one of my favorite pastimes. Today I watched a PureFlix movie called "A Perfect Chord." It is the story of two teenage girls who are hiding their talents each for a different reason, each with a different fear. Together the two girls become friends, and along with the quirky side kick of one of the two who helps them pull it all together, they overcome their fears, and use their talents to bring glory to God. It's a must see for anyone struggling with overcoming fear and daring to pursue their dreams.
We all live with unrealized dreams that have been hidden away for one reason or another. We start out thinking we can change the world, but somehow, along the way on life's journey and enormous challenges, somehow we become sidetracked or too discouraged to dare to hope we can make a difference. So we choose to live a mediocre life...we settle for someone's else's idea of how our life should be lived. I've written it before...the little house with the white picket fence. But there are those who forsake it all for the call of the wild, so to speak. Having been down the proverbial yellow brick road seeking the assistance of the Great Wizard who simply does not exist, they succumb to disappointment and isolation.
Before I watched the movie I was having a conversation with Abba about my childish mind stuck in a senior's body. Somehow I still believe I can do anything I long to do in this life, if I only believe it and trust my crazy ideas. On K-Love news this week I heard a story about a gentleman well into his 90's who is still teaching school. Everyone loves him, and he has no intention of retiring, as he loves his job and his students, and they adore him. The staff at the school feel the same way. Mother Teresa must be smiling, as she persevered til the end of her days. Imagine if we all felt that way, had that dedication and intense will power, with the spirit of a child at heart.
This morning I asked our pastor who teaches at the high school how I could help. Apparently the school is in the news these days as it struggles to provide for the needs of our young people as well as other challenges. Years ago when I was much younger I helped another school in a similar situation, with the aid of the new principal's wife who was also a teacher. Drawing on my crazy ideas and unique "gifts," we worked to develop a program for at risk kids using puppetry. It worked very well, and it could have gone further had I had the desire to continue, but there were things in my life back then boiling under the surface. One school year ends and things change, and life goes on.
One day while standing in line at Natural Grocer's I accidentally bumped into a book stand, and a book fell onto the floor. I picked it up, and as I was placing it back on the shelf the title jumped out at me. Who knows maybe the book "chose me." Or perhaps God just wanted to get my attention, as is His way. The title of the book was Chicken Soup for the Soul Guided Journal. The subtitle read "Explore and Embrace Your Inner Strength," and then below it said "Doodle your dreams & discover the real you!"
In the introduction, appropriately entitled "The Reset Button" a Chinese Proverb is shared for inspiration:
"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago.
The second best time is now."
The idea behind the "part workbook, part devotional guide and all Chicken Soup for the Soul" is to provide a "positivity journal" to help one "hit the reset button and embark on an exciting adventure."
Included in the pages of this "positivity journal" are witty quotations, true life stories, and blank pages for notes, thoughts, and doodling. I've only just begun this new adventure, but it holds promise in rekindling a spark to ignite the old passion lying dormant within my soul or those on the verge of miraculously coming forth after a long, insidious slumber.
I often struggle to put aside things that trouble me deeply and threaten to steal my hopes for the future. This week I put aside another hindrance holding me captive in time, and I know the culprit will rear its ugly head again, but I pray I can squash that pesty rascal and silence its voice. I may have to live with unpleasant noises in my ear and head, but I don't have to listen to the voice of a thief and a liar who constantly tries to steal my joy and rob my peace. So it's done, for now, until the next time the sneaky pest attempts to stick a talon in my business. The results rest in God's hands, and I am reassured that He will fight this battle for me.
I may be older, but I am still alive, and my brain bursts with more crazy ideas and not so crazy ones. I'm with the very senior gentleman teacher, as I don't plan to give up on my life dreams either for the ridiculous reason of being older. I'm making new plans, and I'm keeping my old dreams alive at the same time. I'm taking an online literary class on CS Lewis' works, and I'm creating an Americana rag doll for a friend. There's still my book in the wings, but it is not forgotten, and I have a home to transform into my first "home for misfit toys." This will be a work in progress until I can raise the funds for a major project, but I even have some ideas about that one too! I am beginning to show an inkling of life and revival of the soul of this ole gal.
In December my plans are set to journey to Virginia, and together with my son we shall embark on a new journey together. He's used to my "crazy ideas," as he had to endure much in childhood, but I hope he's looking forward to my thoughts and dreams for my parents' home. I'm not certain how my life is going to play out in the end. I really can only take one day at a time, one small step at a time. This year brought a major setback in my year long goals, but I'm healing, and more than that, I am determined. I want to use my talents for God's glory, and I simply refuse to let circumstances stand in my way. Nor will I allow anyone's opinions to stop me in my tracks, as I have often allowed. I still have many obstacles that need to be overcome, and I still have to battle the chemical imbalances, but today I feel hopeful. Today I feel alive.
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