Day 318 Going On

 

11/14/2025

 "How do you pick up the threads of an old life?"

Frodo Baggins

 

Borrowing from Tolkien's words, "Lord, how can I begin to piece together the years, the days, the hours, the moments of my life into something worthy of Your love?" I don't know how to begin, put in a middle, and I definitely cannot spin the tale to the proper ending. It can only be continued until I take my last breath. Confusion sets in as I remember. Today is a day of much remembering. Perhaps it is the release of Meny Godard from captivity in Gaza. Something triggered my thoughts to come, spiral out of control, then rest more serenely in a pool of tears.  

There are movies that touch a place in me, Lord of the Rings is one of these. At the end, after Frodo has returned to the Shire from destroying the One Ring and saving Middle Earth, he writes in Bilbo's journal:

"How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand, there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend, some hurts that go too deep, that have taken hold." 

A commentator explained Frodo's thoughts this way:

"This quote reflects Frodo's struggle to reintegrate into his former life in the Shire after the profound and traumatic experience of his journey to destroy the One Ring. He was physically and psychologically wounded in ways that could not be fully healed in Middle Earth, ultimately leading to his departure to the Undying Lands to find peace." 

Frodo's long adventure was long and arduous and nothing like the life he lived in the Shire under the careful watch of his Uncle Bilbo, who had held the ring for many years before heading off to the safety of the elves at Rivendell, entrusting the ring to Frodo. That's the way life can be when we make mistakes or wrong choices. The effects have a way of filtering down into the lives of those we love, even if we try with our best intentions not for it to happen. Ultimately choices stare us all in the face, and the decision rests upon the next one's shoulders. I often ask God about things that happen to my children, if I am responsible for their wrong choices or troubles they endure. I know that I cannot be blamed for passing on illnesses, especially when I never knew what was wrong with me. My dad did his best back then, but some things modern medicine is only figuring out. It's a process, and we all face these unknowns in our lives. It took me a long time to stop blaming myself for things that were beyond my control. I never blamed God. It never occurred to me to do so.

My devotional for today has the title "Move Beyond Your Mistakes." Today my son and I made a trip to Walmart for groceries. Thankfully, it wasn't too painful today when we checked out at the register. We really didn't buy anything substantial, like meat, but the prices seem to add up when all is said and done. We live pretty frugally, for the most part, although we do buy ice cream occasionally. When we left, my son had a little mishap with another driver where he didn't notice that the other car was in his blind spot, so he could not see him approaching. As my son was signaling to get into the right lane, the other car honked, and it stunned my son, as he is normally a very cautious driver, especially when I'm in the car. My son waved an "I'm sorry," to the man, but my son held onto those feelings for a long time. I know how that can be, as I've done things that bothered me for a long time. The devil knows our tender spots (Achilles heel), and he loves to drag us into the pit of despair. We have to become aware of it, and thank God and forgive ourselves or others. We cannot sink into the pit of past regrets and mire down into it until we're stuck. It has to end.

Memories can be good, as they bring reflection about the places where we've been, the lessons we have learned. I have many good ones, and I have many difficult ones, but I am beginning to see the value of hard lessons or tough times. They do build character if we choose to learn and grow, and if we choose to forgive others. I've been reading the biography of Richard Wurmbrand, a missionary pastor who was imprisoned for 14 years by the Communists in Romania. He provides many examples of the torture others endured while in prison, and how many died as a result of the torture and abuse, as it was habitual, evil to the core. Here is one example:

"I have seen Christians in Communist prisons with fifty pounds of chains on their feet, tortured with red-hot iron pokers, in whose throats spoonfuls of salt had been forced, being kept afterward without water, starving, whipped, suffering from cold - and praying with fervor for the Communists. This is humanly inexplicable! It is the love of Christ, which was poured out in our hearts." (Tortured for Christ)

The amazing love of Jesus Christ! When we truly see Him dying on the cross for our sins, naked, bleeding from the unimaginable torture He endured, and when we truly know the price He chose to pay to purchase our freedom so we could have eternal life, then we become transformed. His love pumping through our hearts, so that we can truly love others, even those who persecute us, as He loves them, and as He also gave His life for them. This is how we go on with our lives in victory, putting it all behind us, and when we truly begin to live the life He has given us to live - for others!