In His Time

I almost didn't answer the phone as it was ringing this morning. I looked at the caller id, and I just didn't have the strength to deal with another prayer request, not after the week I'd just endured.  I woke up in so much pain this morning after my self-session of physical therapy last night trying to overwork cold muscles after a day of being on the road all day.  After all my training I know better.  I had gotten up at 10 am this morning, determined to "sleep in" and rest, as I have nothing special to do today, no great demands on my life.  Kind of nice for a change.  But, as I sat here reading my Bible, writing in my journal I began to mull over in my mind some things that had happened over the last two weeks, and this feeling of sadness and a cloud of doom came over me as I thought about my family, and as I began to count the cost for the life I have chosen. Regardless of what memories come my way or present situations present themselves, I still remain determined to stand by the voice I have heard saying, "Do you trust Me?" and "Your family will be okay." The same voice who was speaking to me again before the phone began to ring.

When I reached over and picked up the phone I was greeted with the warmth and happy "smile" of my older neighbor who is always so energetic, even on days when she feels poorly like this morning.  She had fallen and injured her right wrist. She laughingly cited the experience and after effects, but she was still grateful she had not broken any bones.  She had called to thank me for a card I had sent to her daughter who has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease. This little lady is such a beautiful person, and I love to be around her, because even when she is cantankerous or complaining, she is always lovely, always giggly, a kindred spirit of sorts.  Perhaps I understand her a bit more than others do, because she is one of my favorite people.  I had forgotten about the card, as I had mustered the courage one day to write to several people, and she was one of them.  I am still old-fashioned when it comes to writing letters and sending cards, even though my life is quite full with this overly full time job. I have a habit of writing what I feel God wants me to share when I write, but then I forget the words or that I have written. The needs of others are so many, and this is one ministry the Lord has given me to do, one I enjoy.  And now and then I will get a response from a stranger about how much the words written spoke to their hearts or confirmed what they felt God was showing them.  Today was such a day, and quite honestly, I needed to hear it at the moment.  But much more than that this wonderful lady who grieves so over her daughter's plight needed to hear the words God had given to me to share with her today about her daughter's journey.  Proverbs 25:11 says "Words aptly spoken are like apples of gold in settings of silver."  I had been reluctant to share what God has been speaking to me, afraid someone would think I was just another Jesus freak trying to speak prophetic words meaning nothing except listening to the sound of my voice saying "Dost sayeth the Lord!"  Well, it wasn't like that at all.  I just told her what I felt He was wanting me to say to encourage her that her daughter, like my family, was going to be okay, not in those words, but ones specific to her need.  She was overwhelmed with joy, as it confirmed what she has felt in her heart after so many years of listening to prophets of doom and battling her family saying she was in denial, yet getting no concrete prognosis from countless physicians.  These words gave her hope at a time when she needed to hear it the most. So now she knows someone is praying, really praying and standing with her in agreement.

Other things were shared during that brief time on the phone this morning, but the best part of it was because I was faithful to say what God had been laying on my heart to say, I brought laughter and hope to another soul dancing on the precipice of doubt and despair.  Sometimes we have to risk taking a step of faith and launch out into that great unknown, daring to speak words of hope and comfort, trusting the messenger even if the words are not immediately received as we may want.  Trusting God to bring the harvest of seeds planted on good soil.

I still have much to learn about His timing or His often misunderstood ways, like Daniel in the lion's den and Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the fiery furnace, but I will trust Him even if my end is not as welcomed as those referenced. I have often been misunderstood, criticized, accused, and I can't "see" or don't understand how things will get better, but for me trust is the only response for myself and for others.  Truly trusting that our God, who never changes, will bring it to pass.