Whereas I don't watch television, as I do not subscribe, I do enjoy watching select series shown on Netflix. In my search for something not perverse I found a series, now in its fourth season, called Arrow. It's about a filthy rich, young man who when ship-wrecked with his father after their boat capsizes in what they think is storm driven, discovers that his father is not the man he believed him to be. Adrift on a boat, short of provisions, before taking his own life, his father confesses his wrongs, and his dying wish is for his son to live to right his wrongs. The young man, Oliver, makes it to an island where he encounters torture, escape, and a series of events spanning five years where he is trained to become "The Arrow" as he returns to his home and family where he sets out to right the wrongs. In the course of his pursuits he becomes more than what appears to be a vigilante, he becomes a savior for the targeted poor area of the city.
As I watch the series I see Oliver mature from a playboy, spoiled rich kid, to a good-hearted, honest - beyond his hidden secret - young man, who no longer considers wealth to be something to use selfishly for one's own interests, but something to use to help others who may need a helping hand or a second chance. And so, as I now begin the second season I am anxious to see who Oliver continues to become as he struggles to regain his strength, courage, and direction to rebuild a broken, devastated city.
I admit I have been struggling myself which is one reason I do not blog daily or always share my writings when I do post my blog. The idea behind my year long effort was to share my gratitude to God. Regardless of how I feel physically or emotionally, no matter what I see or hear that challenges my faith in friends or family, I still praise my Abba Father who keeps me grounded in His word, for His purpose, and for His glory. At this moment I feel I have failed God so much, because I find it hard to have an unoffendable heart, as Jesus has. And as my one desire for my life is to be like Him and live like Him, it hurts to the deepest part of myself when I feel I have failed.
Over the years since my daddy died I have tried to focus on the work I do for others, and the person I want to be in my own personal life and ministry. This morning my mind drifted back to talks with my daddy in his later years when I was able to visit him, especially after mama died. I always looked to my daddy regarding financial matters, as he was the one who taught me how to work, save, and stay free from debt. Sadly, when he needed me the most, I was in debt, so I could not burden him with my problems. But I realize now that he understood that about me, and I know that he loved me, respected me, and he was proud of the person I had become. He knew my sufficiency was not in money or possessions, but in God alone.
As the years went by and times changed, he understood less and less about the financial world, so he was unable to answer questions I had regarding 401k or pension plans. When I left my employment with the State and Federal Governments back in my younger years his advice to me was to cash out, and now I see that may not have been the best for me. Yet I trusted him, and he advised me the best he understood. My daddy didn't really understand the changing world. He understood the value of hard work and honesty. He understood tithing his income, provisions, time and beyond, because he understood what it meant to love your neighbor as yourself. Although he may have struggled with the loving yourself part, as do I, he would be the first to respond when someone needed help, regardless of his financial standing or the hardships he endured in his life. That is the legacy of my parents I hold dear, because they responded without indifference or thinking of themselves, to the call of Jesus.
Today I am very sad, discouraged, and my heart is breaking. Why isn't important. What is important is my response, and regardless of the disappointment I am feeling on so many levels, the only person I can change or for whom I am responsible is myself. And the response I make must be to choose the unoffendable heart, like Jesus, because He is the One I love, the One I choose to follow for all decisions in my life. I never thought my life would take the path it has, but I am grateful for the person I have grown to be. As a small child I encountered the profound love of Jesus Christ, and although through life I have strayed at times, nonetheless, He has never turned His love away from me. Now, I am misunderstood and often and the object of disapproval, but I still prefer to have a life hidden in Christ, and a life doing the work of my Abba Father. His is my legacy, as that I have from my earthly daddy. It is my prayer that one day those I love will come to see that life is not about earthly treasure, no matter what the need may appear to be. What matters first is seeking His kingdom and his righteousness, then He handles the rest. Trust me, He does what He says, and His word is to be trusted.
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