Day 360 - Dauntless

 

Remembering....

As I sit in the safety of my home I can see familiar faces come to mind so clearly etched in my memory, never erased by years or malady. My agile mind holds fast the days as if they were only yesterday, and I am alive again spending precious moments with my beloved papa and grammy.
I am a sprout once more in the castle of the king and queen, a place of dreams and imagination where my cousins and I weaved stories of justice, truth and light astride our stick horses marching on strongholds made of leaves and twigs. I was always the one with my head in the clouds, my nose in a book, eyes glistening with wanderlust as I listened to the stories lovingly spun by my grandparents. Their home was my heaven, my hiding place, my place of safety and refuge. Even then, when I was growing up, the world was a changing place with checkered pasts and greed and personal gain. But even so a world where memories could not die or passions were never put to rest, I lived, embraced in love and laughter, pain erased if only for the day.

In search of adventure I took off into woods armed only with my wit and daring, undaunted was I, never straying from my confidence and trust in my invisible Companion. Never mind the danger that lurked beyond the hallowed walls of the manor. I knew I was loved beyond imagination. How many children have that joy in these modern times where childhood tragically ends at such an early age. And yet, there are those on whom God has placed a special touch of grace to withstand the atrocities they are sure to endure. Seems unfair at times, because we cannot understand the height and depth of His Omniscience and wisdom, the depth of His love. We trust, in all our fears and horrors, resting in peace, knowing He has not turned His heart away. He is here...always near. He weathers each storm, stays each final judgment, and lovingly comforts.

Today some feel abandoned, pills and alcohol replace the truth, fill the void. Listening to the voices, unrelenting, forever haunting of past mistakes, regrets, and failures. Will the horror be put to rest, or will they go on to face another day and another of uncertainty of what the future holds. There are many questions that perplex the minds of those who are lost in the lies, who do not know the one true Voice saying, "Come unto Me...and find rest and peace for your souls...."

I often wonder if my grandparents would be proud of the person I have become. I pray so, as I would truly never want to disappoint the ones who loved and believed in me. The ones who encouraged me to live a full and free life. Yet in spite of losses in my life I know a greater Love, and I am content to wait until the day comes...! Dauntless in my path towards the Light, beyond the fears, the tears, the death, forever in His presence and His grace...I press on!
 

                                                                                

                                                                                                    

Day 354 - Day 359 The Day of Days

Christmas Morning and all is bright! Many gather together on this most special of days to celebrate Christmas. Families and friends gather to make merry, open gifts, and share in festive dining of all the delicacies life provides. Many...but not all.

Countless people find themselves alone today due to circumstances about which we can never begin to understand. Some choose to celebrate alone, although they are welcomed by friends, perhaps their families, to share a meal. Others hide themselves away, because the pain is too unrelenting, and they fear chastisement from others if they leave the safety of their homes or hiding places.

How well I understand. A person can be in a gala setting where merriment and laughter fill the room, and he or she may appear to fit into the moment quite gloriously, only to return to the emptiness of their own existence and take their own life. Others have experienced unexpected disasters, deaths both present and past, or recently received the tragic news of a friend with whom they have just visited the day before who went home to commit suicide, because the pain was so deep.

Please don't think I am trying to spoil the joyous celebrations of December the 25th, not in the least. I just want to take a pause and remember. The next time you see a "bum" on the street or someone who may not be dressed as appropriately as yourself, pause to think. Perhaps when you are sharing with another, and you glimpse in their eyes or sense something may not be quite right, rather than turn away and wish them well, take a little more of your time to question with sensitivity how they "really" are doing. How quickly when asked how we are doing we respond with, "Fine, and you?" I do it myself in order to change the subject. It is a survival instinct the solitary ones use.

God says that He sets the solitary in families, and I know this to be true. He surrounds us with people who bring joy and happiness into our lives. I believe wholeheartedly in friendship and befriending the friendless, the lonely, and especially the destitute. Today I may be alone, no family or friends surround me, but I am never truly alone. The company I keep though invisible to the human eye can be felt most resplendently with joy unspeakable and full of glory! I sense the lights of heaven and the presence of my Lord. How can I ever be alone amidst such wondrous companions?! All of heaven sings today! I can only imagine the festivities enjoyed in heaven today. My parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts are all in attendance, making merry in honor and glory to the King of Kings! I ache for the day to join them!

But, for today, as I wait until that day arrives for me, I have things to do!  As I reminisce of days before and those yet to be I am making plans for the days ahead. I have a project for the New Year, regardless of the political climate or decisions which may alter my life in ways unexpectedly. I am going to dream of better days for those I love who may not be as joyous as I. I want to celebrate life and be a light to those whose eyes may lack sparkle, whose lives are less aglow. I want to see hearts renewed and fires lit. I have a huge dream, and I don't want another moment to go by without taking a step forward each day. I have to give it my best, and although I know I will be challenged, I purpose to push forward, even if I walk alone. I cannot bear to think of another lonely Christmas for anyone. I want Christmas every day! It's why my Christmas tree, my memory tree, remains up all year round! This year I hope to add a second tree!

Please pray for me as I plan my Christmas Year Round adventure, and as I take the next steps in my own personal pilgrimage, my journey on the path God has for my life. May He illuminate the paths of your lives as well. Until His return we are to occupy and fulfill the Great Commission, and I intend to do so.

May the lights of Christmas and the joys of Heaven find you blessed this season! And in the words of Tiny Tim..."God bless us, everyone!"

Days 341 - 353 Days of Reflection

Since my last entry I have been traveling the pages of the Daily Walk from Titus to 1 John 2. It's been a time of purest re-discovery as I seek to find understanding and renewed purpose. These days have been some of the hardest trials I have faced this year, I believe, as I struggle not against flesh and blood, but against unseen forces at work. At this most wonderful time of the year when we should be sharing good will, love and happiness, there seems to be more dis-ease, greediness, and lack of love and compassion, especially among believers, in the One whose birthday we welcome each Christmas. I could say I miss the "good ole days," but it is not that so much as I miss the purity, reflection, and respect shown towards others in the days in which I lived and raised my children. There was an excitement over the joy in the air as opposed to what was found under the Christmas tree. What has happened to the wonder?

There are those who would respond to my question as they do to all questions posed in regards to things that go wrong. They blame someone else, other than take the responsibility on themselves. The problem is that children are not taught to value and respect authority, much less have respect for themselves. Everything is hurried, so discipline is overlooked or rather it is a passing reprimand without authenticity and meaning. Words without lasting value that are taken lightly if at all. I observe it often, and, sadly, it is observed in the church more often than not. My heart has been broken over and over, as I wait on the Lord for answers as to the proper response to these indignities. How does one respond and show the love of Christ?

In studying the life of Jesus I am reminded of His teaching style, and I am reminded of his dislike for the pious and unteachable Pharisees of His day. It is the same for this age. There will always be wolves among the sheep, and tares among the shafts of wheat. Yet while this is true, there is power in the one Christlike life.

"One taper lights a thousand.

Yet shines as it has shone;

And the humblest light may kindle

A brighter than its own."

Hezekiah Butterworth

A friend of mine who has been growing in the word was very troubled by seeing the things she was seeing in light of the words she had been studying in her daily walk though the Bible. She sadly asked me how we could help the ones who are so blinded by their actions. The answer is the same for any question pertaining to dealing with the perplexities of our life....  Our help comes from the Lord, so the answer is "on our knees." Very humbly we beseech the mercy, grace, and wisdom of God, the Only One who is able to help, the Author and Finisher of our faith. Trying to respond to a battle that is being fought in the heavens, albeit we are seeing it in the natural before our unbelieving eyes, is won only by prayer and standing in faith for what is right.

People want to see consistency. They do not need further condemnation, because in truth they probably have lived through much of that guilt and shame heaped on them over a lifetime. Even children are harshly shouted at, then shoved aside for greater preoccupations than a willful child demanding attention and love. In working with at risk children I have found that the unruly ones are the love-starved ones who behave improperly, because that is the only way someone pays attention to them. So I see it as a cry for attention, and mostly, it is a cry for acceptance and love. So if they can receive attention, patiently and compassionately responded to in love, as opposed to irritation and bursts of anger, perhaps...just perhaps, the consistency will evoke a response and change in their attitudes and behaviors. Love always wins out! And, hopefully, the change in the children will rub off on the parents and other adults who have thus far shunned or abandoned them in their short lives. Priorities are so mixed up, are they not?! And people are so blinded by their visions of themselves.

I want so badly to represent the love of God in my life towards all I encounter along the way. I don't want to pass them by, rather I want to give them the reason of hope that is within me, especially this time of year when there should be wonder in the air we breathe! The wonder of His amazing love, ransomed for me, for you, for all.

Day 340 - Blazing a Trail

"The secret of life is that all we have

and are is a gift of grace to be shared."

Lloyd John Ogilvie

Why is it that trying to live a righteous, holy lifestyle, embracing the teachings and character of Christ is met with such blazing opposition by the very people who should desire the same? It seems the more I desire to become unoffendable, walking in love and forgiveness, the greater battles come from "religious" people. Even the ones we love the most, our families, close friends seem to be changing colors and attitudes, seemingly for the better, yet not so, rather a contentious spirit of jealousy and division seem to form a stronghold, often difficult to penetrate much less pull down.

The first and third Wednesday nights of each month I have been leading a Bible study for teenagers and adults called GLOW, an acronym for God's Love on Wednesdays. I have been trying to instill in my listeners the importance of knowing the scriptures, engrafting them into their hearts, as I was taught by my mother, grandmother and teachers, and as I did the same for my family. How can we share the faith with others unless we have a love of the word and the Author in our own lives? And how can we be the hands and feet of Jesus if we do not spend time in His Presence daily learning to know Him?

"Time alone with God can help us grow, but so can serving others.

Instead of feeling guilty about how little time alone I get, I need to look

at how I can connect with God in the midst of my chaos."

Keri Wyatt Kent

I am a very practical person who has had to learn to "modify" teaching styles and ways of doing things to compensate for what is available and what works. Not everyone learns how to do a thing in the same way, so the approach has to be adapted. Thankfully, this is a gift God has given me to use for His purpose. So I am designing games based on scripture to encourage participation and spark enthusiasm in studying and learning the word of God. My first attempt at a variation of the game Wheel of Fortune was a success marked with optimism and enjoyment by the participants, encouragement for me!

So I continue on...! I must admit, however, that there are times I grow weary of the challenge.  I begin to wonder if what I am saying means anything to anyone, because no one appears to understand living for Jesus is not a Sunday morning game show, or a time to be entertained for an hour or two with stories and puppets. It takes time each day to build any relationship...quality time. As O. Hallesby shares:

"All work takes time. When it becomes clear to us that prayer is a part 

of our daily program of work it will also become clear to us that

we must arrange our daily program in such a way that there

is time also for this work, just as we set aside time for other

necessary things, such as eating and dressing."

Max Lucado in And the Angels Were Silent puts it another way, as my younger son would appreciate: "God's not a genie. He's not a good luck charm or the man upstairs. He is, instead, the creator of the universe who is right here in the thick of our day-to-day world who speaks to you more through cooing babies and hungry bellies than He ever will through horoscopes zodiac papers, or weeping Madonnas." Or...

"Hope is not a granted wish or a favor performed; no,

it is far greater than that. It is a zany, unpredictable

dependence on a God who loves to surprise

us out of our socks."

Max Lucado

God Came Near

What else can I say except... to know Him is to Love Him and to know He loves us so much more!

Day 333 - Day 339 The Spirit of Christmas

 

I love this time of year when the stores are decorated with gifts and toys as in a Santa Village. I remember in early 2000 before I returned to New Mexico from a brief sojourn in Wisconsin I was flown into Angel Fire for an interview for the Retail Manager and Buyer position. I still remember driving up that steep hill approaching the resort, the road packed with ice and snow, wheels spinning until I switched to low gear and eased on up. I was awe struck at the wonder of it all...snow falling, skiers walking, lifts rising up and down the mountain, and white lights everywhere! As I gazed at the sights and sounds it seemed to me that this would be a wonderful location for a year around Santa Village. There seemed to be so much happiness - people were alive!

Of course settling there, working at the resort, reality sets in that the seasons change, even in idyllic places like Angel Fire where the beauty is unsurpassed, especially in autumn and winter. But the thought of a place of joy in all seasons has always stayed with me. I realized this morning that I was created for heaven where joy, peace, and love abound forever.

Imagine the most beautiful Christmas scenes you can visualize! For me it's Chimayo where in one area all the homes are in competition each year to see who can outdo the others with winter and Christmas displays. Some are absolutely breathtaking, and driving through the narrow, country road at nighttime I come alive again when I see the first glimpse of heaven. Down the road and around the bend sits the Sanctuario de Chimayo, simply decorating, but nonetheless beautiful!

 

Another place I absolutely love to visit at Christmas is Shockoe Slip in Richmond down the street from my beloved Fan District. A walk along the river all lit up with festive lights and decorations. Beautiful. Then there's the Grand Illumination...

 

Now and then you'll hear music playing by a small band on a corner, small carts and children playing. Fond, fond memories of times I've spent with family and friends.

 

 

So much beauty in one small area of the world amidst a backdrop of terror in other parts of our world. Stark reality of a world in crisis. Yet even so, the Spirit of Christmas must remain in the foremost of our hearts and souls for it springs hope for a brighter tomorrow, of our eternal home. I anxiously await my eternal home going, seeing the bright lights of heaven, the glory of my Risen King. Smiles on all the faces welcoming me home - home, a place I long to be.

But as I sojourn in my place in this earthly realm I purpose to spread as much love and cheer as I can muster daily, sharing the reason of hope within me to everyone I am blessed to encounter along the way. The Spirit of Christmas, the birth of Christ and the Good News, keep my spirit alive as I press on to the higher calling and our blessed hope!