I received a message yesterday from a friend saying my blogs are missed and asking if I was still writing. It is encouraging to know that someone is inspired by the words I pen.
For some time now...years actually, I have been struggling through the greatest battles of my life, but 2016 brought unimaginable misery, pain, and betrayal. There are days when I don't think I can endure another moment, but God in His faithfulness sends me strength through scripture, song, or the voice of another. For several weeks now I have been posting the daily scriptures from my Christian radio station onto my Facebook page in the hope that someone who needs that word and the strength it brings will read it. Life gets so hard, and sometimes we think God doesn't hear us or is too busy to care about us. But that is simply not true. He always listens, and He loves us uncompromisingly so. We just cannot see past the pain we feel at the time.
My sister gave my younger son a copy of Oswald Chamber's great classic My Utmost for His Highest as a Christmas gift. I told him that I would read through my copy as he reads his in the hope we could discuss what the Lord is saying to us. My copy of the book is well-worn as I used it as part of my daily devotionals for years. I have several of Chamber's books, as he was so stoic in his faith and his unwavering trust in His Father. Some of the messages are hard to swallow at times, especially when you feel you've been wrung out to dry. Then Chamber's writes about being "offered up" to God as a sacrifice.
I want my life to be an offering unto the Lord, and the only desire I have is to please Him, my Abba Father. When I say the words "I don't know what I would do without Him," they are not idle words to me. I truly do not think I could last another moment without knowing that I have a Father who loves me, watches over me, and keeps me safe. He is interested in everything I do, and He wants to bless me beyond my wildest imaginings. Still, since He spoke to me in 2012 before my daddy passed away to join my mama in heaven, my life has been a perpetual roller coaster ride through the severest of storms and fires.
There are days I don't want to get out of bed, but I do. I get up, bathed and dressed ready to go forth in my day come what may. The past two years have brought the greatest amount of change since 2013, and I don't mean our new President. Let me just say that if you are reading this blog you need to understand that God put President Trump and Vice President Pence in office for such a time as this, and we need to put aside our petty grievances and pray for his strength and wisdom to help this nation and this world. These protests demonstrate the depravity of the world situation, and they are a disgrace to this nation and show disrespect towards our leadership.
Recently I have watched as dedicated, loyal workers have been shoved aside and told their services are no longer needed. Just being around for the repercussions of that action shows that the decision was not well thought out, in my humble opinion, as I am experiencing the brunt end of it as are those who walk in the same shoes. The impossible has now become the inconceivable. Still, as I continue, doing the absolute best I can, God gives me strength for the day.
My life has become so loud and the noise so deafening, pain so exhausting and debilitating, and the betrayal so disheartening, that I feel like Paul when he said in 2 Corinthians 4:8-12 (The Message):
"If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That’s to prevent anyone from confusing God’s incomparable power with us. As it is, there’s not much chance of that. You know for yourselves that we’re not much to look at. We’ve been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we’re not demoralized; we’re not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we’ve been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn’t left our side; we’ve been thrown down, but we haven’t broken. What they did to Jesus, they do to us—trial and torture, mockery and murder; what Jesus did among them, he does in us—he lives! Our lives are at constant risk for Jesus’ sake, which makes Jesus’ life all the more evident in us. While we’re going through the worst, you’re getting in on the best!"
I have heard it said many times that satan battles the hardest before a victory is won, and I sincerely pray and hope with all that is within me that this is a true statement. Still, as Chambers says regarding offering our lives to Jesus: "God puts you through the crisis in private, no one can help another. Externally the life may be the same; the difference is in will. Go through the crisis in will, then when it comes externally there will be no thought of the cost." Later he adds, "The meaning of prayer is that we get hold of God, not of the answer."
There is no "formula" for making it through the fires and flames, but He asks us to trust Him. At least those are the words I hear daily, "Trust Me," so I am even with fingernails gripping the edge of the precipice, I will trust Him. I am also making it a daily habit to write down a blessing each day, a miracle. It's easy to miss what is right in front of us, as all life is a miracle. So, as we stand fast to our faith and our hope remember, Jesus never fails.
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