For many, the past two years have brought tears, pain, sacrifice, loss, and great heartbreak, along with confusion, riots, deception, wars, rumors of wars, and chaos in our nation and world. But in the midst of all the noise, I heard the Lord saying that now was the time for me to return home to Virginia. Circumstances in New Mexico had changed, doors had been shut, and all signs favored this return. I had wrestled with the prospect for almost ten years, and each time I made a step forward, or felt that the time was right, the Lord said, "Not yet." In late October 2021, however, I finally made the long pilgrimage home, but it came at a very high cost. I'm not speaking financially, although it does cost a considerable amount of money to relocate across country and purchase a home, not to mention the emotional upheaval of leaving my home and a people and culture I dearly loved after 35 years. God provided the finances to make the move, but I had to endure extreme hardships, often physically painful ones in the wake of this amazing blessing. On one occasion I was told that returning home was never a good idea. The scriptures, however, say otherwise; in fact, the Bible speaks of native Israelis making aliyah home before Christ returns. It also suggests that many Gentiles will feel the call to travel and make Israel home as time draws closer to the end of days on this earth. For me, I dream of going to Israel, so I'm keeping one eye trained on the horizon!
Prior to the world turning upside down, Abba spoke to my heart very clearly regarding what was required of me, so I snapped out of my ups and downs, got off my face, and took up the mantle. So, for me, the past two years I have slowly learned to completely surrender myself to God's will and focus only on Jesus, completely dependent waiting for His voice. That's why moving from the place of surrender to abiding in the secret place of the Most High was a natural progression for me. It is not an unfamiliar place, as I am very comfortable sitting at His feet. As a child I was graced by the presence of God in my life, and over the years I have hungered for more of Him. Today, He is my only focus. I can't make it without walking each day hand in hand with Him.
Returning to my parent's home brought back memories. Each day as I sit quietly scenes will play in my mind. I've always had a vivid imagination, a safe place to dwell. Memories come in all shapes, sizes, and forms. It could be visual, or a song, a smell, a musty ole book, or something as silly as an old pink hair roller in an otherwise empty dresser drawer. My Grammy's quilt covering my bed is a constant reminder of summers spent with my grandparents. They were my safety, my refuge in the storm when I was a child. More importantly are memories of times in childhood and early adulthood when Jesus' presence in this home was tangible to both my mama and me. I also witnessed the transformation of my daddy after the birth of my daughter and after the death of my mama. He would talk to me for hours about many things, as did she over the years, that I wish I'd written them down. But Abba is graciously helping me remember. He's writing words on my heart, words indelibly written on my heart, just as His word is forever a part of my being. He called me home for a purpose as a prodigal is welcomed by his father, so this home beckons my return for a reason only God knows. But I can tell you this, the presence of Jesus Christ fills this place. He never leaves, and I know He never will.
Have you ever felt His presence so closely that you inhale His breath. Holy Spirit fills your being with the sweet fragrance of His love.The word says "taste and see that the Lord is good...His love endures forever." He wants to fill you with His Holy Spirit. He want you to feel His presence, to be your hiding place. Sit quietly, apart from the noise of televisions, radios, cell phones. Find a quiet place where you can sit and listen. Bring your Bible. As you read a favorite psalm softly, out loud, take time to listen to the words and meditate on what they are saying to you. Begin to invite Holy Spirit in; sing praises and worship Jesus. Ask Holy Spirit to search your heart as in Psalm 27, and if He speaks to you, confess so that you will not be hindered in prayer. Never fear the correction of Holy Spirit, always gentle for those who desire to draw close and experience His love. Jesus loves you. He died for you. You are His beloved one. It's that easy, but it must be sincere.
I have come to love my mornings with Jesus in the quiet of this home. I could sing praises to His Name all day and talk to Him about anything and everything. It's a life worth having. I may not own anything of intrinsic value in the world's eyes or have money in the bank, but I have riches untold. I have Jesus, and He is all I need. All I could ever want. I invite you to journey with me as I write "the story" He wants me to share. It's a tale of redemption, a story of His overwhelming and unrelenting love for each of us. Journey with me as you taste and see His glory!
