After a restless night with my old friend "Pain" I awakened grateful for the day, but nauseated and weakened after the visit. I have struggled with chronic pain the majority of my life due to injuries sustained by the help of others. I have been experiencing a reprieve from such visits over the past few years, never quite free, but grateful for the relief. But for some reason my "old friend" has launched a full scale effort to bring me down and get me incapacitated. Sorry, Pain, but my strength and endurance comes from the grace of God. Last night's struggle was particularly intense, as no manner of assistance would soothe this savage beast - ice, wet heat, exercise and stretching, not even Tylenol which sometimes takes a slight edge off so I can drift into sleep. I am rather a contortionist, but no manner of pretzel moves aided my cause last night. Thankfully I drifted off to sleep about 5 am, but I had to be up early this morning, so I was exhausted! Nonetheless I dragged myself outta the bed and into the shower. Revitalized!
I shared some time with a friend this morning as we met the challenges set before us, and we succeeded in our task. It was an encouraging morning. It was also a time of laughter, a few tears, some valuable insight, such is our way. Back home now and very, very tired and still nauseated, but rather than sink into the mattress I am trying to play catch up once more on daily self-tasks. Besides which I have a train to catch at 5 pm tonight! The Smooth Jazz Train. This means more dancing to some great tunes and becoming acquainted with some new friends. It is quite the adventure, and I don't even have to leave my home! Tomorrow I'm back on the chain gang ride, but the weekend is shining in the distance.
I've been rummaging through my crowded brain cells in an attempt to remember where I placed some important documents. Hence my spare room has been littered with folders tossed to and fro. No luck yet on procuring said documents, but should my hunt prove futile I will accept it with the assurance that I am to move forward in God's strength. Revisiting the past does not bode well to my super sensitive psyche, so perhaps a fresh start without memories threatening to pull me down is the better path. I remember a line from the movie Prince of Tides where the mother is telling her son he dwells too much on the past. What she failed to realize is that reliving our past is necessary to face the future free of nightmares. Fortunately, I blocked out huge portions of my life, and as I slowly remember under the cover of my Abba Father, the memories fade into oblivion remembered only as a means to an end in helping me become the person I am today. He calls this refining fires in the Potter's hands.
Prince of Tides and other movies that delve into the eye of the storms in our lives have proven to be very liberating to me and others who use them as a help to recovery rather than an excuse for inappropriate behavior. Dealing with all "labels" of mental illness in my work and a couple in my life I am privy to inside information, vital information to effecting a change in people's lives. Doctors will tell us there is no cure to many illnesses particularly those that involve our minds and battered souls, yet I say differently as I know with God all things are possible. This rings true for all infirmities. But in the end it is God's decision, and He is not cruel, nor does He show favoritism. His ways are higher. Fortunately for me I have a different view of such challenges, regardless of the cost or endurance. In my case it is what it is.
Through my interaction with Pinterest, a great stress reliever, I have become aware of a support group called The Mighty for people who have or know someone with a mental illness diagnosis or chronic physical conditions. It appears to be a great place for people to make a statement, gain freedom over the stigma of being "different," and find support from people who understand limitations, chronic pain and dis-ease in its many faces and stereotypes. People are afraid of what they don't understand so they avoid or judge, but this group gives people the freedom and confidence to be just who they are - The Mighty!
I picked up a favorite movie this afternoon called The Guardian about the men and women who serve in the Coast Guard. It is so inspiring to know that there are people in all parts of the world who put the lives and safety of others before their own. The training is grueling, but the reward of saving a life is worth the cost. This can be said of so many people who serve others in their profession or calling. These are the true heroes.
Time is passing, and my Wednesday off is coming to a close. So off I go to soak and read before pulling the covers up close and leaving the day behind. The promise of a new day as I close my eyes to rest.
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