Valued

"It's usually through our hard times, the unexpected and 

not-according-to-plan times, that we experience God in more

intimate ways. We discover an unquenchable longing to know Him more. 

It's a passion that isn't concerned that life fall within certain

predictable lines, but a passion that pursues God and knows He is 

relentless in His pursuit of each one of us."

Whispered Words of Encouragement

September 14, 2016

Wednesday. My day off. A time when I can sit back from the undeniable absurdity of my daily rigor and reflect in peace and oneness with Jesus. I wish everyone who worked under overwhelming deadlines of "do this, don't do that" could relax and breathe in the hope of tomorrow.

As I continue my journey I remain conflicted regarding issues in my life, but I do have clarity concerning some things. When I quiet myself long enough to listen I can hear God's voice clearly, not always as I want, but He speaks. I feel so desperately alone at times, because although I know He is here with me, I do not always feel His nearness. Still I know.

I have been futilely searching for some personal documents needed for retirement plans. Rather than continue my search-and-destroy efforts of weeding through files and papers, I decided that if  things were meant to be, the papers would surface at the right time. As I rummaged through files I came across my elementary school report cards, and I was taken aback by the comments and awful grades. I have managed to block out huge portions of my memory, but when I need to remember, God compassionately reveals a hidden "secret." When the proverbial "light bulb" goes on I respond with mixed emotions. My mother did not share with me about the head injury I sustained as a young pre-school child, and even if had I known it may not have made a difference. Going back in time brings back emotions about daily migraines and cluster headaches, extremely poor vision, and other things. As a child I learned to function as I needed to do in order to survive. Naturally, as a child I didn't understand anything really about survival, but I learned to cope. This became my learned lifestyle or my "normal."

As I shared the heartache of my memories with a friend she asked me what made the difference in my life, because in spite of my earlier grades I graduated high school with honors. I told her I really wasn't certain, except I knew I changed after the death of my friend at age 15. That accident shook me up pretty badly, as I could have been in that car when my friend died, as I had been invited to go along. Reflecting the past couple of days about that time I realized that what made the difference in my life was I began to believe in myself. It became important for me to show everyone that I was not an average student or an average anything.

I so dislike labels and comparisons. We all have our places of insecurity, and that is the reason I must follow my "crazy dream" for a place for "misfits," and "ragamuffins," those who are somehow labeled as "not good enough." We each have purpose, and we are all "above average" in our own special way. God does not make junk, I am reminded by a cross stitch on my mama's wall, plus He reminds me every day of how miraculous we all are as part of His creation.

"Rather than shocking the globe with an occasional demonstration

of deity, God has opted to display His power daily. Proverbially. 

Pounding waves. Prism-cast colors. Birth, death, life. We are

surrounded by miracles. God is throwing testimonies at us like

fireworks, each on exploding, '"God is! God is!"'

Max Lucado

God Came Near

My friend is having a difficult time finding a counselor because of man's labels. Because of age some are cast aside in receiving certain benefits, because the "system" feels they probably won't live much longer so why bother. I have heard so many stories from people who are devastated at the treatment or lack thereof they receive from health care professionals. So that's where I come into play as the crusader. Sometimes I am heard, other times not, but I am tenacious and relentless in my pursuit of victory. Strange, I can advocate for others, but I become weak and defenseless to right for my own cause.

"Value is now measured by two criteria - appearance and

performance. Pretty tough system, isn't it? Where does that

leave the retarded? Or the ugly or uneducated? Where does

that place the aged or the handicapped? What hope does that

offer the unborn child? Not much. Not much at all. We 

become nameless numbers on mislaid lists. Now please 

understand, this is man's value system. It is not God's."

Max Lucado

No Wonder They Call Him The Savior

"My friends have made the story.

of my life. In a thousand ways,

they have turned my limitations

into beautiful privileges,

and enabled me to walk

serene and happy in the

shadow cast by my deprivation."

Helen Keller

Quality of life is worth the fight! Strange that assisting someone in ending their own lives is considered more compassionate than helping someone live in spite of limitations. How do things become so mixed up. I see another side of life, as do those who fight for ones who cannot do so for themselves. I see the unsung heroes who are making their place in this unsuspecting world, overcoming impossible hurdles, and bring the victory home.