Sorting Through

This morning I started going through boxes in the spare room in the home I rent. As I begin the process of sorting through and giving away, memories resurface and are tossed into the giveaway box for someone else to enjoy. It's a difficult process, especially when I've had to repeat the process numerous times over my lifetime. Picking up pieces and beginning again. It's not the way I planned things...it just happened, and here I am.

Waiting for answers is not easy. It seems as if this is the way of things with me also. But day by day I inch away at the tasks before me, and there is a sense of accomplishment in a small way.

Retirement is not as easy as it sounds in theory, unless you've planned it well. Mine has been a bit haphazard in ways, but I am muddling through the steps. I think I realize more and more how alone I am in the process, and holidays make the loneliness more unbearable. My family is scattered here, there, and yonder, and I begin to wonder if it will always be that way. That wasn't my plan either, but then life happened, and we go on, until there's a change or a wake up call or something. Perhaps my life was meant to be a solitary one.

God is always faithful to the call. He reminds me daily that I belong to Him when I question where I am supposed to be. He also makes it quite clear that He has set the solitary in families, as I am surrounded by people who love me, who enjoy hanging out with me. I make people laugh, and regardless of what happens, I do know that God is always here with me walking beside. I am reminded that I need to keep my focus on Him only, and the answer will be made crystal clear. My part is to continue to trust and know that He's good to His Word.

So today as I go through the motions of sorting through or checking off other items on my "to do" list, I'll do so with thanksgiving in my heart and a dance in my step, remembering His Amazing Grace and the incredible gift of Jesus' love and sacrifice for me. I remember how God relentlessly pursued me, He wouldn't let me go, and He won't let go now!