Day 126 I am His!

 

5/6/2025

How can a day that begins radiantly...yes, radiantly...change so drastically near close of day?! This happens to me on a certain day of the week, and try as I may, I cannot seem to change it. I go in confidently, and I leave defeated. Did I hear God correctly? Did He open this door for me to walk through? If so, am I doomed to repeat the pattern of my life, so I can continue to be chiseled or sharpened or pruned or squeezed a bit more, just to learn something? Only God knows. Consequently, as always, I have two choices - give in or continue on.

My day began at daybreak, and it was refreshing, aka radiant, as I began listening to music, quiet before the Lord. As I began to read my journal notes, gathering my thoughts for my Bible study, I began to remember words the Lord had spoken to me in dreams. As I sat before Him, talking about the day, I remembered what He said to me so many times. Later, in the prayer meeting, I heard the words, "go higher, higher; go deeper, deeper." I've talked about the words "1000 cubits" that I heard spoken to me in a dream. In the dream, I was in a large building, much like what I visualize in my mind when I read about the tabernacle of the Lord, but it had many rooms. In the dream, the building was empty, and I wondered where everyone had gone. I was taken to the front porch of the temple, overseeing a river. It was shallow in the beginning, but as I walked into it, the river was rising, rising, referencing what I learned from Ezekiel 47 about 1000 cubits. Ezekiel is given a vision of a man leading him into a river to measure the depth of the water. He measured the depth four times, with it gradually deepening, increasing to 1000 cubits. According to theologians, the vision is symbolic of "a deeper level of spiritual commitment and reliance on God. It suggests a call to go deeper in one's faith and relationship with the Lord." The message as it related to me was that as the water became deeper, I was not to be afraid to stay in the water. Well, as I recall often, several years ago, when I was first asked by the Lord to write the story, He directed me to a portion of scripture found in Isaiah and one in the gospels. I was deeply involved in intercession at that point, and the Lord spoke on day and said: "And the Lord said, 'Simon! Simon! Indeed, Satan has asked for you, that he may sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith should not fail; and when you have returned to Me, strengthen your brethren'" (Luke 22:31-32). My first response to the Lord was "Me, Lord? I'm nobody?" I can't remember what I actually said to Him, but I'm sure He reminded me of how He uses the foolish things or people to confound the wise (1 Corinthians 1:27-30). He uses donkeys! (Numbers 22:21-35) Later on, when I was talking to Him about my life, He spoke to me with another portion of scripture about who I am to Him, as I am always wondering where I belong. I've wondered most of my life. Here's the scripture found in Isaiah 43:1-7 Amplified Bible: 

1 But now, this is what the Lord, your Creator says, O Jacob,
And He who formed you, O Israel,
“Do not fear, for I have redeemed you [from captivity];
I have called you by name; you are Mine!
² 
“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they will not overwhelm you.
When you walk through fire, you will not be scorched,
Nor will the flame burn you.
³ 
“For I am the Lord your God,
The Holy One of Israel, your Savior;
I have given Egypt [to the Babylonians] as your ransom,
Cush (ancient Ethiopia) and Seba [its province] in exchange for you.
⁴ 
“Because you are precious in My sight,
You are honored and I love you,
I will give other men in return for you and other peoples in exchange for your life.
⁵ 
“Do not fear, for I am with you;
I will bring your offspring from the east [where they are scattered],
And gather you from the west.
⁶ 
“I will say to the north, ‘Give them up!’
And to the south, ‘Do not hold them back.’
Bring My sons from far way
And My daughters from the ends of the earth,
⁷ 
Everyone who is called by My Name,
Whom I have created for My glory,
Whom I have formed, even whom I have made.”

Obviously God is writing about Israel and about the scattered tribes, where He sent them all over the world when He allowed them to be punished for turning away from Him. But, because I am His daughter, and belong to Him, grafted into the vine, sharing in their inheritance, just as all believers in Christ, this scripture applies to me as well. He was speaking that day to me directly. I can testify that I am His; He has called me by name! He has also promised me that my children will return to Him, just as He will redeem and restore Israel. As for walking through waters and fires and being sifted, I can also attest to those experiences as well. In fact, my book, if He so allows me, will reflect those words, "Sifted, Soaked, and Smoked!"

So, in light of all this, how am I feeling at the true close of my day? I feel loved, and He assures me that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, appears to think, or the looks I'm given, I am to do what He says do, listen to what He says, say what He tells me to say, when He tells me to say it. No matter how much I personally whine and cry about it, or hold onto the proverbial door knob (which I've done for real), and lay in the floor and kick my feet like a petulant child, I will obey Him, because I trust Him. More about that on another page.

It seems as if I am always testifying. I joke about it with my sister, and then I say "Enough preaching!" She responds with her little laugh. But I am enthusiastic about my walk with Jesus, and how alive and active and relative for today His Words are. God is changeless. So I must remain faithful to Him, and I will. If I get kicked out of a group for not being despondent when the Word says "we are seated in heavenly place beside Jesus," from a seat of victory, I might add, well then, so be it. I won't give up, and I won't give in. I've had way too much of people pushing me down with their own agendas. "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord," Joshua 24:2-15. And that, my friends, deserves another Selah!