Day 220 Small Beginnings

 

8/8/2025

"For who has despised the day of small beginnings?

Zechariah 4:10

 

Here I sit. It's almost midnight again. This has been such a quiet day, except for one phone call that could have become more incongruous had the conversation not ended abruptly. I have learned to say little when someone is upset, trying to displace their anger on to me, who actually has little to do with the problem or question at hand. Life holds a series of mishaps and unfortunate circumstances, but only God knows the answers. Many times the answer to why someone does or doesn't feel a certain way comes down to one thing - selfishness or self-love. I hate to use the word narcissism, because it has become overused in my life to explain away certain behaviors of others. I simply do not have answers to certain questions, but I do have regrets and feel deep sorrow that certain things happened or are happening still to cause anger, hurt, or unforgiveness to steal peace. Sadly, this is happening all over the world, but then Jesus said...! It seems as if it always comes down to warnings of things to come. I would love to enjoy one entire day of relaxation, but this is my life, and I am content. Paul is my example of peace in the midst of storms and finding contentment in all seasons of life. What a warrior!!

Enough of that! The day passed quickly, or so it seemed, but it was a restful day. I chose not to go outside and work, because I've spent three long days working outside this week, and I am exhausted! I do love being out there, but if you read my blogs, you'll know already the one little "thing" that makes it unpleasant - mosquitoes. My son is fascinated about it. He wants to know why every mosquito in the county loves to feast on my blood. What can I say? Only God knows!!

I made some progress today finishing up my past blogs for two days, and now here I am with today's entry. It may be late at night, but that's okay. I'll adapt. I never realized how hard I have to concentrate in order to write a good story. If I'm messing around with my son, with our "imaginary friends," story lines flow from our mouths, and even when I'm sitting quietly with the Lord, praying or just listening, what's on my heart empties out onto the pages of my journal, but I cannot seem to transfer the sentiment to my blog. Sounds silly, but somehow it just doesn't flow in print as it does in tears. When God told me to write the story, I tried, but I couldn't successfully sit down at a certain time of day and write. One of my friends suggested that I pick a certain time of each day, get in a quiet place, and write. She didn't understand that my life is rather erratic, especially the past (almost) two years. I never know when my alert will go off calling me to the "wall" for one thing, but I am involved in other prayer efforts other than with the Christian Embassy in Jerusalem. But that is my privilege, my joy. I do write excessively in my journals about everything that happens in a day, but my notes are often vague and incomplete, snatches of what was going through my mind and from my heart at the moment. Today was an exception.

The prayer calls always begin and end with a worship song, and it seems recently as if the pre-recorded songs have been "blasts from my past." Something overcame me, or Someone, and I wrote a little "blip" on Facebook:

"I grew up singing beautiful hymns in church, hearing my mother and grandmother singing them at home. What a glorious inheritance. When my spiritual journey truly began as a very young adult, Integrity Music, Maranatha, Vineyard, and later Hillsong offered simple, pure worship songs. I still sit for hours listening to Don Moen, who hosts an hour on YouTube on Wednesday nights, as does Terry MacAlmon. I remember being introduced to Paul Wilbur at an early age, and now I support his ministry which reaches to the Lemba Tribe of Zimbabwe, an older Jewish Tribe. My beloved Africa and Jewish family! It really pleases me that these simple songs, pure worship, are becoming popular again in prayer ministries. ICEJ has been beginning and ending our sessions with these wonderful songs. Even in my Tuesday night small prayer team we sing the oldies, but forever goodies. I love the new worship songs of younger worshipers today, but I have a deep, rich heritage of music, beginning with the Jesus Revolution, that many do not. I thank God for this gift. He is so faithful, even when we...I...was not back then. I hope you'll check out some of these older tunes, but please do not forsake the hymns. In fact, many of the modern day worship songs incorporate the hymns, lyrics and melodies. You'd be surprised! God bless your day. Shalom."

Music is an integral part of my daily quiet time. I play it softly in the background as I write, because it encourages and inspires me hearing the lyrics recalling the faithfulness of God. As I write this, I hear the words, "From the rising of the sun til the setting of the same, Your love endures forever. Bless Your holy name. In the morning when I wake up, to the breath within my lungs, I will praise You for Your goodness, I will worship with my tone. Every heartbeat is a miracle, every moment is a gift. In Your presence I find freedom; in Your love my spirit lives." The lyrics are from "Shelter Me (Psalm 91 in Song) by Elohim Songs. Each day it seems there's a new worship collection in my YouTube feed, that I share on Facebook generally. Most are instrumental, and I particularly enjoy the gentle strings of the harp or violin. Now if I want lively violin I can switch over to Lindsey Stirling, who plays mostly movie scores, plus she choreographs her videos. She lists her genre as "Classical," and she is an extremely talented, young woman! She was brought up in the Mormon Church, but her views are not staunchly in line with the views of the religion, so perhaps the Christian songs she has played are changing her heart. That's what happens many times. I have heard more than one testimony on K-Love where someone planning to take their life turned on the radio, and God had just the right song to reach them in the depth of their pain. He is the God of the impossible! His timing is perfect! 

These are my "small beginnings" as I call them. God said to write, and I am doing that. One of my friends told me that she's reading, and enjoying, my blog, so that is something. I don't use ads, because I don't think I have control over what is posted. I have considered my own domain, but that's for another day. I'm like Scarlett O'Hara - "Oh, diddle dee, I'll think about that tomorrow!"