9/15/2025
"Jesus Christ has brought every need, every joy,
every gratitude, every hope of men before God. He
accompanies us, and brings us in the presence of God."
Dietrich Bonhoeffer
"No man comes unto the Father, but by Me."
John 14:6
Do you every wonder why I use teddy bears or small children as the images for my posts? Teddy bears are especially dear to me, because I so longed to have a special one when I was a child. I have no memory of a teddy bear, except the one my Uncle Pete won for me at a carnival or fair, but I don't think the teddy bear loved me back. I remember that Uncle Pete had a little wind up donkey toy that I so wanted as my own, but it never happened. He did, however, gift me with his old RCA Music collection of classical musicians. At a very young age I was drawn to music by Mozart, Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, and later Rachmaninoff stole my heart. Sadly, this collection was stolen as was another treasured album by Andy Williams. Seems strange for a young school girl to love classical music, especially when my daddy is a bluegrass enthusiastic, but we shared our time together too. He would have me sit in the basement for hours listening to one in particular. I laughed, and it made him happy. I also loved reading - Homer's Iliad and Odyssey, War and Peace, Anna Karenina and other classics by Tolstoy, books by Dostoevsky. But I was very well-read as a young grade school girl, and I carried on the tradition with my children. When we moved, I donated the collection to the church school. I sometimes wish I still had them.
On Christmas of 1959 I received my first Bible, which I still treasure and guard, as it is falling apart from love and use, and that same Christmas I received a stuffed Lassie dog. I loved that dog almost as much as I loved my Bible. I could hug him, tell him anything, and he was my friend and loved me. He is the first toy, other than the donkey, that I absolutely loved. Why I gave him away, I often ask myself, but at the time, it seemed the right thing to do, or rather, what my mother wanted.
Over the years I have accumulated many stuffed animal friends, and as you will note when you enter into my home, I still have many in plain sight dancing about the rooms. I guess they were my go to substitutes when I couldn't find love and acceptance or felt afraid as a young child, and it grew over the years. Then, as a puppeteer working in children's church and with at-risk kids, my hurts were soothed by "hugs." It was a vehicle through which I could reach a disturbed child, even my own. In fact it works so effectively that my son's counselor is interested in meeting one of my personalities. If you don't hear from me, look for me in the rubber room!!
Children are so fragile, and even those with behavior problems or trauma, can be reached using this type of therapy. I believe I have mentioned this in a previous blog, my thoughts of having a ministry of some sort using these survival skills. I guess I feel the need to talk about it sometimes. I'd love to have the opportunity to help one of the dear ones. Even adults, like me, respond, find help and more importantly, healing and closure. But enough of that subject.
Yesterday, I spoke about the parable of the sower and the seed, and how every Christian, myself included, needs to search our hearts and come to the place where we hear God's voice on the direction He has for us in this hour, this season of time. I've shared profusely that God is asking me about motives of my heart. It's not that I am not totally sold out for Him, because I am, but yet, when I get up in the morning, even though I think of Him first, I thank Him for a new day, even if I don't feel like it. I wake up with eyes to see, ears to hear, a voice to sing, a heart to pray, to sunlight or rain. I have a cat that needs me, well he needs food and tolerates me. I have so much. My younger son is here, so we have each other after so many years alone, for me. I just saw my family whom I'd not seen since the last funeral, others it has been since childhood. I am here in Virginia for a reason, and God is helping me with that one. I just need to sit tight and listen.
As I examine myself, though, I am asking if the first cup of coffee, feeding my cat first thing, saying Good Morning and stopping to laugh with my son, if, perhaps, they could be distractions or worse idols in the way of meeting with Abba sooner?! I pray not, because He is everything to me, and I don't want anyone or any thing to ever come between us. But, it's worth considering. Are too many early morning prayer meetings taking the place of quiet time first and foremost with Father God? Is my 5 minute devotional with Pastor Jack Hibbs more important than talking with Abba?
I am also sensing, in the Spirit, troubling matters regarding distractions in ministries. Too much time being spent on building one's church, not going after the 99, overly priced Christian concerts. Too much for this brain to absorb. So, I'm taking "5" and praying. Ephesians 6:13 tells us having done all to stand our ground, and that is what I am doing in the company of my fluffy friends, as long as God allows.
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