Day 8 Fresh Oil

 

1/8/2026

But you have exalted my horn like that of the wild ox; 

you have poured over me fresh oil.

Psalm 92:10

 

In the quietness of the morning I rested from the thoughts clouding my vision. I thought back over the past days, too much happening too soon, so totally unexpected, Lord, I need clarity of purpose. I've been faithfully trying to do all I am supposed to do to get my life back on the path, and I'm trying with all I have in me not to become distracted with the process. I'm behind in getting my thoughts on paper, because I'm so exhausted from having to do everything myself, or so it seems. I know You've made me strong, Abba, but how much more? How long? I don't mean to complain, but I never thought it would be this way. Although I know following You is not always easy...well, is it ever easy?! 

Thankfully, You hear my prayers when I'm grappling for answers, lying before You, waiting in my helpless state. I know full well that You'll answer, but the waiting and straining to hear Your still, small voice hurts. Not You too, turning a deaf ear to my cries. Forgive me for doubting or for expressing my feelings as such. I look up, and I see a familiar face on my screen - Jesus Image with a new song, Give Me Oil. I drag myself up to walk over to the screen and turn on the song. I hear Your voice. Yes, Lord, I do feel like Elijah after he destroyed the prophets of Baal - alone with the enemy close at my heels. So weary, even afraid of what's next. Then the song, the words awaken my soul, and I breathe. 

"My heart is longing for a touch from Your hand, my spirit is yearning to be revived in Your glory again (repeats).

Turn my heart to You. In your Presence Lord I am made new (repeats).  

Give me oil in my lamp, and light the flame again. I want to burn for You (repeats). 

Oh Lord I'm sorry for when I've wandered astray. You're faithful to find me. Create within me a clean heart again (repeats).

Turn my heart to You. In Your Presence I am made new (repeats).

Give me oil in my lamp"

I couldn't bear to turn the song off, as if listening to it was sustaining my soul, feeding me new life. I've been alone for so long, Abba, and even though now it should be different, it isn't. You sent me here for a specific work, and now it is much more difficult to complete. Did I hear You when I heard the words to return after so many years? Was it You who said clearly "Get into the boat and go to the other side?" Abba, You know I only want what You want, but sometimes I feel so confused. I need to feel Your Presence, Lord, stronger. I need fresh oil. Lord, pour the oil of Holy Spirit afresh upon me. Trim the wick and rekindle the flame. The fire is not out, but the light is flickering, so please hear my prayer today. Let my life be as You asked so many times along the journey. May I trust You, Abba. Search my heart, try my thoughts, and remove anything not of You, not in Your plan for me. Strengthen me for the race, Lord. The finish line is almost in clear view. I wait - expectantly!

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