Dear Friends,
Thank you for the kind and loving support and prayers you have been sending my way in recent days. The pain in my heart and spirit has lifted somewhat, and I am beginning to smile and laugh again. The road ahead is long and twisted, and I feel like my heart is a piece of taffy being pulled in a dozen different directions, but I know in the long run I will be okay. And not just okay, I will be better for the trials.
I still have decisions to make, but through a dear friend God has given me hope for the start of my first Island for Misfit Toys. Nothing in writing, only dreams approaching the possibility stage, but I feel encouraged. Just that hope has been a huge sigh of thanksgiving and praise, and it came at a time when I felt my life was over. God is so good. Now I just need to put feet to my prayers and go to a city where the persecution against me is so unrelenting. But if it helps the precious people in the area I am willing to stand strong against the lies of the enemy and do what I must to gain support in this endeavor. Please continue to pray for my steadfastness.
I have eye surgery on 7/11/14 to remove a cataract I am told was caused by head trauma. Whereas this may in practice be a simple procedure, it is very frightening to me, as I have had several surgeries over the years putting my body back together, and the thought of any surgery alarms me. Plus for some reason I am allergic to almost everything, and although I have had problems with sedation during surgery, my brain cannot remember the particulars. So we shall see what happens.
Next, the shoulder and quite possibly other fractures to my left arm. I have to have a re-evaluation as I believe the sincere efforts of the physical therapist to help me only hindered. I believe the damage I now have is in large part because no one listened to me when I said my arm is broken. But because I am who I am, with the HUGE tolerance for pain that I have, I am suffering, but the doctors are listening. But no me importa. I will be okay...in time! Then I can once more mountain bike, climb trees, roller skate, and do whatever this ole gal wants to do, but I promise you, I will not fall and break my neck!
My birthday is coming up in August, and although I have not decided whether I will travel to Virginia or elsewhere, I do plan to have a great adventure. Last year I hid away in Red River, New Mexico during a chile festival, but it was a time of reflection and healing. I need to do more of that! Actually take the time for myself. My entire life I have struggled with the intense guilt trips placed on me if I deviated from service to family in the evenings after working and driving all day, on weekends, days off, holidays, or vacations. Finally, I am discovering that it is not selfish to take time for myself and do what makes me whole.
One more thing I have decided to do, and although I have not pushed the "Submit" button yet, I am going to enroll in an online class through Ministries of Francis Frangipane. I have found much truth and strength in his books, love his style of writing, and I hope one day I can reach others through the written page. I know this will be a stretch of my endurance at this time of my life with all the "stuff" happening with health and family matters, not to mention I have a full time and very stressful job, but I feel encouraged that I need to do it. For years I have talked about it, so now I'm doing it. Nope, I DID IT! The submit button was hit, and I am enrolled! Class begins July 3rd!
Once more, a big, heartfelt "THANK YOU' to all the friends who believe in and encourage me daily and in your thoughts and prayers. I know being my friend is often exhausting, as my survival mode has always been in pulling away and isolating myself. I'm glad I finally had the courage to ask for help, even if the professionals didn't hear me, YOU DID. Finding Linda again is so important to me, and hopefully I'll be pleased with the finding and be a blessing in return to you!
Blessings and Love,
Linda, aka Me to one special friend
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