Surfing the internet I came across this definition of "insanity" which pretty much goes along with my post from Sunday, "My Walden Pond". Actually, I think Albert Einstein hit the nail on the head with his definition! But then mine rocked too..."a meaningless pursuit accomplishing nothing" or better yet..."an exercise in futility".
Did you know that there is a link between mental illness and creativity? Between "madness" and "genius"? Albert Einstein has been labeled as having "schizophrenia," but I doubt anyone had the nerve to accuse him to his face! But what's in a name...or diagnosis? I think everyone has a little crazy in them, especially when you have to function amidst chaos for five days a week with only two days to recover before you're back at it again. For some it never ends, and I've been on that endless merry-go-round myself, but it's not so merry. So I am rethinking my life, which was the reason I went away to hide in the first place. Unfortunately, I didn't hide long enough as the crazy got crazier with no relief in sight! Time to make a change, I think!
Reading on in my study of insanity it was mentioned that Ludwig van Beethoven and Robert Schumann, brilliant composers of their day, were classified as having bipolar disorder. Interesting, as I have often noticed the connection between mood swings and classical music. For instance modern composer Philip Glass has written some pretty intense pieces with repetitive scores that could excite or depress. Those who have heard his compositions may be able to understand what I am trying to say without saying it. Have you ever been locked away in a room with repetitive scores played on a piano that grew in intensity? It kind of has the same effect as dripping water, also known as Chinese water torture. Perhaps that explains why I am as I am.
Regardless of how one is "labeled" in life or afterwards when you've gone on to your great reward, it matters little, as genius supersedes in my humble opinion. I've been called a few names in my life with a few "labels" slapped on as well. I'm learning to overlook the words, trying not to feel the hurt, but it is challenging. That's why I prefer the company of "misfits" and "ragamuffins"...we don't care! And we don't give up! We merely admit to our imperfections and reach out for help.
So why am I sharing all this with you tonight? Beats me! Maybe it is just a diversion from my normal lapse into my mediocre lifestyle after a day of living in the abyss. I've got to do something about my life! And in honesty, all joking aside, I am rethinking my strategy which in layman's terms means I am checking out my options. I am constantly being reminded about my age by my friend who doesn't seem to understand that age is irrelevant to me. But then maybe he's right, and maybe it is time to grow up and face the truth. Time to be put out to pasture... or not! I think my way is better. I have plenty of time to rest when I'm dead!
Time to close out the day and get ready to rest up for tomorrow. Heaven knows I will need all the strength I can muster. But I'm doing my best, trying to stay focused on being "content" no matter what comes. Trusting God for good results. Then I can rest!
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