Day 147 We Try

 

5/28/2026

“Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward.” 

 Psalm 127:3 

 

Life has a way of playing tricks on us. But then the life of a follower of Jesus Christ often brings conflict and unexpected disruptions. Just when one victory is won, a seeming defeat comes to knock us off our feet. It really shouldn't be a surprise, as this has been the way it has been since the beginning of time. I often wonder why things must be certain ways, and most of the time I blame myself as I seem to think I deserve every evil or insult that comes my way. I understand all too well that I do not deserve any good thing, much less to be able to enter into heaven. I realize the price Jesus paid to ransom my soul, and I wonder why He did it, because I have failed so miserably. I failed the One person who was willing to die so that I could live. As I have often testified, once you see His death on the cross on your behalf, you will never be able to unsee His sacrificial love. I feel blessed to have spiritual eyes to see, and a heart of deep repentance and a heart that wants to bring honor to His Name. He is forever a part of me, and I wouldn't have it any other way. But with commitment comes a high price, and I am slowly learning how great it can be.

It's very difficult for me to watch my country follow the path it has been hard pressed to pursue. And in spite of the gifts God has given to our great country, it only takes a few to cripple and devastate our nation. Daily I see hatred grow and disdain and blatant disrespect shown to our leadership and by our leaders even by professing Christians. This is not as it should be, but it is. Almost every day I post or state publicly that the church needs to wake up. These are not my words but God's words so aptly spoken in His Word. And they are so ignored today. Many are begging God for revival, coming before the throne of grace daily interceding for breakthrough and breakout, but their hearts are not right. I often think those who pray for the rapture just want to escape, and they really have no true sense of their part in the story, their identify in Christ. We are failing miserably, as many of the prayers are superficial and have not taken root in the heart of the one offering. The church is failing. We as individuals within the body of Christ are failing.

Words hurt us, and they can never be taken back. Through God's love and grace, we learn the wonderful blessing of repentance and forgiveness, not because we have to or He won't forgive us - which is true - but once you experience the depth of His great love and sacrifice, you change. I've suffered at the hands of loose lips and angry slips of the tongue, and to this day there are those I remember, even though I have long forgiven. My regret was that I was not able to confront the teacher in love when I was eleven or twelve years of age. Rather, I absorbed the lie, and it adversely effected my life for a season. As I look back over my life, as I am made to recall for reasons only God allows, I endured many callous remarks, perhaps aimed at me, because I was there, too small to be elsewhere. Perhaps I asked too many questions regarding wrongs I saw. I particularly always wanted to know why we sat at one table and others at another, or why there were two bathrooms and two water fountains for people. Remember I was born in 1950, and I could see, and I could feel the hurt. I realize now that God had His hand on me then. He saved me at birth from being choked to death in my mother's womb. She suffered greatly, and I think her entire life had mostly deep hurts, or sadness never fully expressed. There are so many things I have witnessed and seen without being shown or told. I just knew.

Today I was wrongly accused of some things from many, many years ago, but I know that the enemy is very cunning, and I know that he can make things appear very real in our minds, when it is not true. We are in a spiritual battle, and the ones who will hate us the most will be those we are close to, as Jesus said it would be. I wish it were not so, but I will not fight with someone or attempt to vindicate myself, because I trust God, so I put this hurt into His hands. I know that He will sort it out, and the enemy will be exposed. Life is hard, and in trying to help save someone from harm, we may tend to go a little overboard at times, and I have done this, leading to misunderstanding. Sadly I have learned that many things are beyond my control, but I am at least glad that I tried. My son told me that I cared too much about other people, and he also said that I had always put others first before myself. One day perhaps he will remember those words. I haven't changed, as I still do this, because it is right and kind, and I had good examples in my parents and grandparents. At least that was my experience. 

I am grateful for my life, and for my family, and for my children. God graciously allowed me to have three miracle children. I know that regardless of how things may be now that God has a plan for each of them. I will trust Him, as I always have, but the road ahead is dark right now, with corners of light, some very bright, yet fading at the end of day or at the crook in the road. Still, faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence not yet seen. I will rejoice in all things. I will keep my eyes on the Captain of the Armies of Heaven. I will believe, and I will keep trying. It is what He has for me to do.