My time alone with God in the mornings is such a sweet refreshing, especially on Wednesdays and weekends when I can sit and focus more clearly without distractions. I have been trying to find that same sweetness in the evenings, but I have yet to learn to separate myself from the commotion of my days. Life becomes too "real" for me at times when so many needs scream despair, rejection, desolation, and poverty. The evil that pervades this world seeps into every home, every heart, and in every situation, and the enemy must be exposed and removed less hope fade away. I try to be that emissary of peace, hope, and love, yet I fail so desperately. Thank God for His strength in weakness.
It's better to share my thoughts of the week in one blog, I think, because I have a perspective my entire week in one broad view. I don't know who really reads my thoughts, but the only thing that matters is I share my heart transparently, and hopefully someone's life is touched, perhaps changed for the better.
"Learn to do good. Seek justice. Help the oppressed.
Defend the cause of orphans. Fight for the rights of widows."
Isaiah 1:17
So I being with Monday morning, Day 194....
I have been determined to keep my focus on Jesus, staying positive in the midst of changing "the game" over and over again. I am becoming immune to the phobia that accompanies each radical shift of gears by the hierarchy in which I am a small fish in a huge pond. I have mentioned my "Keep on Track Bracelet" I have been faithful to slap on my wrist each day and to share with all in whom I encounter on my road to mental health and healing, aka mental stability. I have been encouraged by the response to my story about the bracelet and why I wear it in my sharing with the vast numbers of people I encounter daily in my weekly challenge. The positive response has been overwhelming!
Monday began with an email...nothing new under the sun with that one! Yet, although it did not bother me, it caused immediate panic in the heart of one of my colleagues. Because of my "peace" I was able to divert the enemy's plan to beat down my friend's strength and emotional stamina and bring harmony back into her life with one thought...we work for one Master, and when we strive to do our best in every situation, then we leave the results up to Him. This applies to every area of our lives. My message of hope worked, and my friend found new strength not only for the day but for the entire week as well. Remember...it's the little things we do and share that bring the greatest rewards.
Later on in the day I was relieved to hear that my friend's son was out of his coma, and although he still was very ill and not quite out of the woods, he was on his way to recovery. At this writing he should be home in his own bed. Thanks be to God!
That evening I relaxed and shared a simple meal at a friend's home, and I was able to shut down the computer and relax after a rewarding beginning of the week. God is faithful when we are willing to trust Him with every part of our lives.
Day 195.... another dawn of day...each with its own rewards!
A brief pause in my study of Isaiah focused on our search of significance in our lives. The author of Our Daily Walk puts it this way: "Most people don't know what they want, but it is something different from what they have." Again, the author smacks us right between the eyes with a reality check for the day! Again I read, "Seeing God for who He is will open your eyes to who you are."
That's pretty much it, isn't it?! We relentlessly try to "find ourselves" in every walk of life, turning one way, then another, and never quite finding what it is we are so desperately trying to discover. Not a good use of time which means it is time wasted on an endless, fruitless pursuit for happiness. How many times have I been down that road! We all have if we are honest, but few really want to wear their hearts on their sleeves. It exposes too much, and we may appear weak. Well, friends, I am weak but with Jesus I am strong! And so are you!
Day 196...my day off!
As Wednesday morning dawned I awakened with poison running through the veins in my legs, with aching muscles and exhausted to the point of no relief! Simply put...I stayed up way too late on Tuesday night...you guessed it!...working! I was determined to get my work done even if it took all night, which it did, because the computer system and the programs are so relentlessly slow and forever timing out. What should take a few minutes ends up taking an hour. But no wanting to succumb to irritability that would ruin my otherwise productive day, I focused on doing what I could do rather than what I could not. A daunting effort under such horrendous of circumstances. Nonetheless I survived, overcame, and pressed onward!
Consequently, Wednesday was not as productive as I had hoped, but then I try not to load myself down with activities on a day intended for my mental release and relaxation. I am finding that my trampoline is a mix of wellness and discomfort, as I learned not to jump when my legs were already so tired, when I had already reached my level of endurance. Hence I took a nice, long, relaxing soak in the tub to quiet the further spread of exhaustion through my blood stream. Then I took another nap.
Hint: Never answer the phone when you are tuckered out, as the caller may find it insulting should you fall asleep mid-conversation. Not a cool thing to do to one's daughter! Sorry, honey!
I braved my day, salvaging some quality moments once I was better rested, and I gleaned some nuggets of truth in the process. "You cannot give to others what you do not possess." God calls us to rest from our weariness and trust in Him.
Day 197 Back to the fight!
Enjoying a good night's rest enabled me to face my extremely busy Thursday with confidence and peace. I awakened with renewed strength, mind fixed on the day ahead. Beginning my day in prayer God reminded me of the scripture verse for the week: "The Lord delights in those who fear him; who put their hope in his unfailing love."
"Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes
a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened."
Billy Graham
For every each new day there comes a fight, a battle that is not our own. People watch to see if professing believers in Christ become weak-kneed or stalwart when trouble hits the fan. They watch all the time no matter where we are or what we are doing, so remember we are under the microscope being dissected and evaluated. Under surveillance! So make your actions speak louder than words.
"The life we have been given can't be bought or bargained for.
It is a gift. Every good and perfect gift comes from above...coming
down from the Father of lights in whom there is no variation
or shifting shadow (James 1:17). If our day is indeed a gift from God,
something of the Giver should be evident within the gift."
Ken Gire
Day 198 - End of day, end of week, oh what bliss awaits!
Simply put - Friday was a good day, and I
was able to share the love of Christ with people whom I enjoy spending
time. Friends who know with God all things are possible. Those who have
overcome great struggles by trusting in the Lord, sharing their faith,
spreading love and good cheer. Victory certain! And in the process they
hear my name mentioned in the community favorably, lovingly, and I am
humbled once more. Thank You, Jesus that the light of Your love shines
through me.
Friday evening the system was shut down for "repairs" and "upgrade," so I was able to end the day comforted that I had given my all!
Day 199 - In His Presence
Saturday at last! I was talking to Abba this morning about how quickly times passes by. I'm always so anxious for Wednesdays and weekends, because I am always so tired. Days come and go, and it seems I accomplish less and less, because I am burned out. I'm praying for a change, and I am eagerly awaiting my upcoming vacation, praying the days will linger on, allowing me quality time with my sons and my Lord.
Today I felt inspired to turn on music as I waited on the Lord, and "Oceans" by Hillsong United provided the inspiration I so badly needed. Praise music always has such an affect on me. I shared
with my friend that I told God I hope I never get too old to weep before Him in praise and worship. Something happens to people when they age sometimes, and they lose the ability to be who they are. I never want to lose sensitivity, and I don't care who doesn't understand or what others may say, think or feel. I don't have anything to lose in my devotion to God, and I have everything to gain.
The words of this great song have such meaning to me and are so to my heart, "You called me out upon the waters, the great unknown where feet may fail..." But the real grip of His hand on my heart comes when I sing from the depth of my soul, "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters wherever You may lead me...." Anyone who is truly waiting on God, trusting for a move, cannot kneel in His presence and be untouched by such words.
All I want for my life is what He wants, and the reality of the fact that I am going to be 65 years old in a couple of weeks does not dull this desire. I feel more alive in Christ than I have ever felt in my life, and I am ready to go where He says and do as He directs without hesitation, even it it continues to be a difficult walk. Nothing else satisfies like Jesus. I'm so glad He brings me back to the Sermon n the Mount, and I am so grateful for His continued love, mercy, and outpouring of grace on my life. I am so unworthy, but He loves me still.
I watched a movie this evening called "Second Chance" about a church in the projects of the inner city, and it reminds me of the need for Spirit-filled believers to reach out to help where help is needed most. Not fire and brimstone style condemnation, but tangible proof of the love of the Christ we serve. A people who are so called with love and compassion to be the "nuts and bolts of Christianity" for others. Ragamuffins one and all serving others uncompromisingly in their faith, trust, and love for God and all mankind. We understand what it means to be a sinner saved by grace, and we count it a privilege to encourage another struggling ragamuffin to grow in this grace and love.
My heart is full of joy this evening as I close out my day, and I can't think of a better way to end this day than by sharing my hope with anyone who happens to read my blog. I cranked up the DVD player so I can revel in the truth "God's Not Dead!" There's no better way to wind up my day in preparation for tomorrow and the week to come! As "Second Chance" ends the familiar cords of a childhood favorite rings..."On Christ the solid rock I stand all other ground is sinking sand. All other ground is sinking sand."
Saturday at last! I was talking to Abba this morning about how quickly times passes by. I'm always so anxious for Wednesdays and weekends, because I am always so tired. Days come and go, and it seems I accomplish less and less, because I am burned out. I'm praying for a change, and I am eagerly awaiting my upcoming vacation, praying the days will linger on, allowing me quality time with my sons and my Lord.
Today I felt inspired to turn on music as I waited on the Lord, and "Oceans" by Hillsong United provided the inspiration I so badly needed. Praise music always has such an affect on me. I shared
with my friend that I told God I hope I never get too old to weep before Him in praise and worship. Something happens to people when they age sometimes, and they lose the ability to be who they are. I never want to lose sensitivity, and I don't care who doesn't understand or what others may say, think or feel. I don't have anything to lose in my devotion to God, and I have everything to gain.
The words of this great song have such meaning to me and are so to my heart, "You called me out upon the waters, the great unknown where feet may fail..." But the real grip of His hand on my heart comes when I sing from the depth of my soul, "Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders, let me walk upon the waters wherever You may lead me...." Anyone who is truly waiting on God, trusting for a move, cannot kneel in His presence and be untouched by such words.
All I want for my life is what He wants, and the reality of the fact that I am going to be 65 years old in a couple of weeks does not dull this desire. I feel more alive in Christ than I have ever felt in my life, and I am ready to go where He says and do as He directs without hesitation, even it it continues to be a difficult walk. Nothing else satisfies like Jesus. I'm so glad He brings me back to the Sermon n the Mount, and I am so grateful for His continued love, mercy, and outpouring of grace on my life. I am so unworthy, but He loves me still.
I watched a movie this evening called "Second Chance" about a church in the projects of the inner city, and it reminds me of the need for Spirit-filled believers to reach out to help where help is needed most. Not fire and brimstone style condemnation, but tangible proof of the love of the Christ we serve. A people who are so called with love and compassion to be the "nuts and bolts of Christianity" for others. Ragamuffins one and all serving others uncompromisingly in their faith, trust, and love for God and all mankind. We understand what it means to be a sinner saved by grace, and we count it a privilege to encourage another struggling ragamuffin to grow in this grace and love.
My heart is full of joy this evening as I close out my day, and I can't think of a better way to end this day than by sharing my hope with anyone who happens to read my blog. I cranked up the DVD player so I can revel in the truth "God's Not Dead!" There's no better way to wind up my day in preparation for tomorrow and the week to come! As "Second Chance" ends the familiar cords of a childhood favorite rings..."On Christ the solid rock I stand all other ground is sinking sand. All other ground is sinking sand."
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