Day 276 Be Still

 

10/3/2025

"My soul wait silently for God alone,

for my expectation is from Him."

Psalm 62:5

 

Today was a long-awaited medical appointment with a specialist, and although I am not ignorant of certain specialties, I am at a loss as to why this one has come into my life. Nonetheless, I played the game, as I sometimes do, to appease a well-meaning doctor, who simply forgot to mention to me why this has been suggested. Does that make sense? True, I have some additional frailties at the moment, but I have always felt that I bring things on myself, because I do reckless things, like swing from trees. I am learning not to walk on curbs and play balancing acts as well. I am keeping my feet on the ground, with an occasional dance across the yard when I'm pruning trees or cutting the grass. I think that's reasonable behavior, even at my age!

Prior to leaving for my appointment, we had some mishaps with the bathtub not draining nor wanting to comply with treatment, plus some other annoyances that sent me into a panic attack, complete with trembling hands. So much so that I couldn't write. This never happens to me, even if I get anxious about something, I never get to this stage, unless someone is very sick, and I have make travel plans. That happened once, and I was literally turning in circles not knowing which direction to go first. Not a pleasant feeling, and I hope one I never have to face again. But, today, before leaving the house, my nerves were settled, hands no longer shaking, and I was ready to drive the distance to Richmond.

But, (there always seems to be another "but") once in the car, headed up the road, I received a call that continued for almost an hour until I reached my first destination. Normally I don't answer the phone when I am traveling, but this one seemed important. Bad decision. Since I'm reporting this story later, because of traveling I had to do this weekend, being bone tired when I returned, I am still reeling from the comments made to me during the call. I shouldn't be surprised, however, as it seems this has become a routine for my life. The words of Jesus spoken in Matthew 10:34-39 are certainly true.

"Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father; a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law; and a man's enemies will be those of his own household. He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it."

I am finding His words to be true, but I never expected such cruelty and vitriol to come from someone I love more than life. Knowing people believe such evil is not surprising given the degree of hatred the enemy has against me, or so I've been told by one who used to serve him. There are many things I don't understand, and, quite honestly, I prefer not to understand such wickedness. I only know that my life belongs to Jesus, and I will follow Him all the days of my life, even if I do so alone. 

 And by the way, the medical appointment went well, and I am good to go!