Day 289 Rest for My Soul

  

10/16/2025

 "Then Jesus said, 'Come to me, all of you

who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will

give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you,

because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you

will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy 

to bear, and the burden I give you is light.'"

Matthew 11:28- 30

 

Over the past few weeks I've not been my generally upbeat self, and the hard part about it is that I don't know how to articulate my feelings. I feel drained of strength and of the ability to organize my thoughts. I realize that after a huge spiritual battle, we must stay on task and continue the watch. Now is not the time to pull an Elijah running from Jezebel act. And it's not really that, because I don't fear anything, except perhaps the dust in my house combined with Mia's shedding fur choking me if I don't get around to vacuuming and dusting soon. It seems as if I've not had too much free time to think about cleaning or a great many domestic things, but I've decided that something has to give. I guess I'll see how that goes.

I've been trying to set aside some time for exercise each night, a habit I have always tried to follow. It keeps me balanced mentally, and it helps with my health management. While I exercise I watch a favorite movie that doesn't require too much attention, as it's one that I've watched many, many times. I'm still watching Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien, as I've mentioned previously, but I'm on the last leg of the journey to regain control of Middle Earth, so I'll have to come up with another movie that has life lessons and offers spiritual wisdom and insight. I like movies that make me think.

I'm discovering that I am a very intense person, and that makes many people uneasy, but I take life very seriously. I enjoy having fun and laughter is my second language, but when it comes to muddling through life's messes, it's important to walk in wisdom. There's too much anger in the world, and too many people at odds. I'm watching things happen on the world stage that are appalling, and that do not belong in the same standing as the word "civilized" implies. More and more children and younger adults are becoming confused, embittered,  conflicted and even violent, acting out the compromises and vitriol learned from their parents or other adults who have been influential in their lives. This is a travesty that has robbed children of their childhood, youths of their curiosity, and young adults their dreams. This is mainly due to the fact that those responsible do not want to own up to or be accountable for the mess they've created. Something has to change.

The tricky part of writing my story is having to go back into all the memories I have stored up in volumes of journals I've kept over the years. I have regrets and losses, trauma and hurts that go deeply, and by reliving them in the telling, I often wonder if it's worth the sadness. Maybe that's why it's taken me so long to begin to write and stick to it. I've started and stopped so many times, writing a chapter here and there, and putting it aside. Only God knows where it will all end up. After all, He's the master mind behind the desire and the mission. There was a time when I had a hand in helping troubled teenagers make wiser decisions, and after all these years I wonder how they turned out. Maybe one day I'll know. My own children have had their share of hardships, many I never realized were happening. My faith keeps me strong, and my prayers for my family and for all the others continue to flow heaven ward, drifting up to the throne room of grace. 

In Lord of the Rings Frodo and Samwise Gamgee are discussing the futility of the mission they're on, wondering if anyone will ever remember. It's a difficult task being a small hobbit charged with the responsibility of saving humanity from evil. Sam makes a good point in his response to Frodo:

"It's like the great stories, Mr. Frodo, the ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were, and sometimes you didn't want to know the end because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad has happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing this shadow, even darkness must pass. A new day will come, and when the sun shines, it'll shine out the clearer. I know now folks in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going because they were holding on to something. That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo, and it's worth fighting for.” 

Therefore, in the spirit of Sam and Frodo, I'm going to continue to battle for the people of this earth by continuing to stand and fight the good fight of faith. It's what we're all called to do in our own, individual assignments from God. Sam and Frodo make it to Mount Doom, destroy the ring, and Frodo even lost a finger doing it! But he persevered. So for now, I'm going to find rest for my soul trusting God for the battle that's His anyway, and I'm going to take some time just to sit and be still.