Day 195 Let the Arrows Fly

 

7/14/2026

"Though I walk  in the midst of trouble, You will revive me;

You will stretch out Your hand against the wrath of my

enemies, and Your right hand will save me.

The LORD will perfect that which concerns me;

Your mercy, O LORD, endures forever; do not forsake

the works of Your hands."

Psalm 138:7-8

 

Yesterday my day was confusing and upsetting. The disturbing details of the day have not fully been resolved, and I don't know whether they ever will be - that is, in my lifetime. And since it involves my actual life and well-being, naturally I would be concerned and even upset, but I was actually angry. And I am not an angry person. Although I realized the true source of the difficulties, fully recognized it as a spiritual battle, I still found it impossible to surrender the situation and my worries to God. I had reached a point in my life where enough was enough, and this situation had to stop. But it was only the tip of the iceberg for the arrows and fiery darts of the enemy flying my way. I felt so helpless and alone, unable to dodge one more attack. I recalled the many times we've prayed for Israel's physical battles on every battle front, seven to be exact, and then a another strategic ambush from social media would compound all the damage. 

I realize that because I speak so openly about trusting God in the midst of troubles, and say all the right things, lining them up with scriptures, that I am not immune to attack myself. In fact intercessors have huge bullseyes on our backs, spiritual targets, because we are standing in the gap, making up the hedge. And we encounter war in a different sense in our own lives. It's part of the calling. Usually when I get hit by the enemy, I am able to shrug it off, because I know better. But this time, the arrows were flying from all directions, and I had no place to turn, in the natural. I have grown so weary over the past months that I began to think about my being alone, without a human being who could really be supportive, not tangibly at least. My son, Daniel, tries very hard to understand, but he has his own battles. There was a tug of war between my head and my heart, plus my physical endurance has been low, so the enemy was trying to drag me back down the rabbit hole. Feelings resurfaced, and I was not happy with myself, or anyone else. But, God met me where I was, and Holy Spirit picked me back up, so I could focus. That's all I needed, and He's all I wanted, because I have experienced His Presence so often during times such as this one. Even Paul the Apostle was no immune to despair.

Many times when spiritual attacks come our human response is to reach out to a person, and I did end up calling a friend for prayer. Not for conversation, although I cried a bit and shared, but simply having someone who truly understood the struggle pray with me. I am grateful for my friend's support and for being willing to stand with me, even though she did not know the need, she understood the desperation. She knew intuitively, because she'd been at that very place many times before. 

There are times when we need the calm assurance of a fellow intercessor, so we can refocus on Jesus, our Commander of the Armies of Heaven. I was too upset to hear His still small voice. All I could hear was the incessant chatter of the enemy.  Sometimes, in the pressing, in the process of pruning, God allows things to happen, and  I do understand the necessity of that, spiritually speaking, as we must be found faithful. We have to endure the pain and struggles to be made into vessels of honor fit for the Master's use. But it hurts, and I didn't understand why it was happening again. And God was silent in my dilemma. Maybe a nudge or two by Holy Spirit, but no real conversation. I felt like Elijah trudging off through the desert to get to the mountains to find God when Jezebel put a hit out on him. Sometimes I can laugh at myself when I begin to read scripture, reminding myself of Biblical history, applying it to my own situation. Often it's not something to laugh about, but our response to trials sometimes is laughable, especially when so-called seasoned veterans should know better. We are continually learning. And thank God for that!

Today began with a note of encouragement, and a bit of defiance against the enemy's tactics, but not by my hand. I had already considered the logic myself, before receiving a call of encouragement. By that time I kinda knew the direction I needed to go in hopefully resolving my dilemma, and if successful, it can prove helpful to many others. As Jesus said to His disciples in John 16:33: "In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”