Days 36 - 40 Season of Lent

The weather has been warmer with a little chilly nip in the early morning breeze. Earlier in the week, there  was a brief promise of rain, but the storm clouds drifted away inviting the warmth of the sun. The day dawned hopeful, peaceful, but it quickly changed to an internal storm of the never-changing war that ensues among people. One would hope that during this season of Lent that human kind could resist the petty quarrels and cease the strife that threatens peace. It is particularly distressing when the dis-ease includes the household of God. Brother struggles again brother on Saturday going unrepentant to church on Sunday morning. And we wonder why the world chooses not to go. Judgment begins in the house of the Lord, as the scriptures warn, goes unheeded.

In my reading for today, recounting each of the trials of David as Saul chased after him to kill him, and later as David made poor moral choices, it was said, "Through it all, David seeks God zealously and confesses His sin promptly." I admit that I struggle with my thought life at times, proving my flaws. Things that may injure an unbeliever or damage a struggling Christian's faith if spoken and misinterpreted wrongly. So, each day I ask God to guard my thoughts and put a lock on my mouth.
I am full of faith and strength that comes from my joy in the Lord, but this physical body is exhausted from lack of sleep. Some days I feel the need to rest, and this rest includes foregoing an occasional Sunday service. I love to go to church. I always have since childhood, but when turmoil lies under the surface, I cannot find peace I need to get me through the week ahead.

It is my prayer that today, Palm Sunday brings only the joyful saints who gather to praise the Name of Jesus Christ our Lord and King. And to remember the sacrifice He made and the debt He paid for us so we who believe on Him should have eternal life. A place that defies all imagination - peace, beauty, no more sickness, pain or death. A place of rest in His Presence for ever more!

My celebration of Jesus today has been wonderful beyond comprehension. I can only express the joy I feel with songs that reach to the depth of my soul. Above all today, my friends, Celebrate Jesus !

Days 34 - 36 Season of Lent

Real conversations with my daughter have become very rare over the years. There have always been  hurdles to jump or mountains to climb. How I have prayed to close the distance between us and have longed for her to see past her hurts and see my heart. Last night we shared future hopes. I have always believed that God has a special man hand-picked for her. I still do. I don't know when or how He will close this impossible gap, but I know His plan is perfect.

As I shared with her about my recent conversation with the Lord, I told her how I had been struggling with my desires. I confided to her that while talking to God I had said, "Lord, You know my heart and the plans you have for me. I want...I want...above all I want...." The words seems to fail, and my mind was blank. Finally, I confessed, "Lord, I no longer know my wants except one, I want Your perfect will for my life. You gave me three children when it was impossible for my broken body to bear children. And each is struggling, isolated, and alone. Father, I don't know how You'll do it, but I know You will. I trust You for our future. I have no other "want" in my life, but You."

As I finished the words, my daughter acknowledged her understanding, as she also had a similar talk with our Lord. She then shared that if she never had a husband, if it isn't in God's plan for her to marry and have children, it was enough to know someone loved her, even if it could never be.  Perhaps this will be our road to healing as each of us - sons included - come to that fork in the road and say, "Nevertheless, Father, Your will, not mine, be done."

Days 27 - 33 Season of Lent

The breeze gently awakens the song of the wind chimes reminding me of God's amazing grace. Spring is around the corner, and new growth begins to spout from hardened soil. The promise of new life and renewal. This morning I have a calm assurance after completing a dreaded task - taxes. With my friend by my side we survived the computer humor of Turbo Tax walking us through step-by-step through a maze of forms. Thankfully, I muddled through with "the odds forever in my favor." One down - two more hurdles to jump!

This week has been calmer in some ways, but I need to learn from the previous one to take it easy on myself. I demand too much, and it has taken a toll on me -  all of me. Counseling is forcing me to take a break from schedules, learn to relax, and focus. I know what I need to do to encourage myself, but I fail to follow through. Maybe I should develop my own Plan of Care and hold myself accountable. Time will tell how it all goes.

Although my life was more peaceful, I encountered some storm clouds brewing. Sometimes the best thing to do is listen and pray. I'm learning I cannot change the heart. That's God's job, and mine is to pray. Focusing on the words of Jesus, the comforting words He spoke to His disciples prior to Gethsemane and ultimately Golgotha. Words of peace, reality, victory, overcoming death. I'm excited to see what He has planned for me just around the bend in the road and the not-so-gentle climb up the mountain. It becomes natural to trust Him and believe.

Days 20 - 26 Season of Lent

 

11 March 2018


Each day as I spend quiet morning hours alone with the Lord, I listen for guidance. Monday the message in Jesus Calling instructed me to "Make friends with the problems in your life." I have been struggling for as long as I can remember, trying not to make friends with challenges. I've just been attempting to survive with a smile on my face. The Bible affirms that "all things work together for good to the called according to His purpose." If my heart's true desire is to walk only in His way, listening for His voice, then I need to believe that whatever comes my way has a purpose for building my character.

Tuesday was a particularly intense day, as I read "I am every where at every time, ceaselessly working on your behalf." I'm just wondering if You were with me when I got lost in the dark on that back country road? Well, yes, I found my way out to the highway, so I imagine in some way that too was a test and a blessing in disguise. It did bring a chuckle to the people with whom I shared. From there the week just got better and better, in a manner of speaking. I suppose I am just learning to see the miracles in the bumps in the road.

A thought was posed by one author, "Consider what you need to give up in order to know Jesus more." Many things contend for my attention each day, and sometimes those quiet times become shorter and shorter. Life gets harder, and time seems to fly. It's not intentional. I've learned that I cannot begin my day without talking to Jesus. I am very much aware of my need to remain focused on the Author and Perfecter of my faith. God is jealous for us, and He wants to be first in our lives. When a crisis arises, who's the first person we call? We've all been there. I'm learning that although my friends and family are very important to me, the only voice I want to hear is His. Nothing else really satisfies. And we don't have to worry, because He always answers our calls.

This Lenten season I want to see Jesus in each day in a new way. I want to show gratitude for all He's done for me, and I want to pay it forward in showing His amazing love to someone who needs to know that He is "ceaselessly working" on their behalf. This is a season of giving, of sacrifice, and of love. Lord, I want to know You better.

Home

As I sit here this morning at my table, I hear the sound of Amazing Grace as the wind gently blows my chimes. I thank God for His gift of salvation and His promise of eternal life - amazing grace. This morning I was privileged to attend the funeral service of Billy Graham via live stream and to listen to the testimonies given by his sister and each of his children. Many words touched me as family and friends shared their stories of this mighty man of God. Franklin Graham shared about the relationship his parents had as man and wife. He spoke of their great love for each other, and he said that his father adored his mother. How I wish I knew how that felt. Imagine praying as a child for the man God has for you to share your life. Ruth prayed from China as a young girl while Billy worked the farm in North Carolina as a young boy. Imagine trusting God in such a way for the rest of your life.

Anne Graham shared about reading the Bible to her daddy, discussing the scriptures, why she chose that scripture. In essence, living the message of the Gospel of Jesus Christ each day in a real way, personalizing the scriptures as she read them to her mother.

The testimony that hit me the strongest was given by Bunny Graham, the youngest daughter. She candidly related to those gathered about the misdirection of her life, wrong choices, and stubborn independence. She shared that after she had made a terrible mistake, not listening to the advice of her parents, she ran away in fear. She decided that she needed to return to her home and to her parents. She spoke of the drive round the hills, up the long mountain road, and when she arrived at her parents' home, there she found her daddy waiting for her, welcoming her home with unconditional love. This, she shared, was a picture of how God loves us so much that even when we fail miserably, He opens His arms wide and welcomes us home. I personally know this love, because I have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, and He has welcomed me home. God loves us so much more. One day, like Billy Graham, I will pass from this life to my eternal home with Jesus Christ, my Savior and Lord. I long to hear the words, "Enter in, My good and faithful servant."

My life has not been as I had planned, but I know that God has kept me and that He is leading me, guiding my path today as  I place my trust in Him. My parents were simple folk, and my daddy a misunderstood man. But I can tell you with certainty that he adored my mother, and he loved God. I saw a man with crippled legs and a broken heart kneeling beside his bed in prayer. That memory has been permanently etched in my mind and heart as much as the memories shared by Billy Graham's family.

My children are scattered across the miles, separated from me by a few hours or a few days journey. I pray they have good memories burning in their hearts of my love for them and especially my love and faith in Jesus. And I believe that one day I'll see them again, reconciled, together with me and each other, and I know revival will break forth as we praise the Lord together for His saving grace and His healing, redemptive power. I'll be standing there with open arms, welcoming them home with unconditional love just as my Father welcomed me, just as He will welcome You if you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior. He is the Truth, the Way, and the Life. No one else satisfies.

Day 19 - Season of Lent

4 March 2018

The chimes are blowing in the wind. Amazing Grace plays sweetly. I pray the message carries across the mountains, and many answer the Savior's call.

I just finished watching A Man Called Peter about the life of Peter Marshall best known as the Chaplain of the Senate. He was a fiery Scottish pastor who received the call of God one night on his way home from night school, if I am telling the story correctly. He later met and fell in love with Catherine, whom he met at the college town where he served as a pastor at the church. It's another one of those made in heaven love stories, as God does have His plans for our lives if we only listen and follow His timing.

I love this movie, and from time to time I re-visit, as it's a favorite. Peter walked very closely with God. In fact, he couldn't do anything without hearing from God first. He depended on God's direction, especially when he had to deliver a sermon. God was his best friend.

I want to walk this closely with God, that I hear His direction for every decision I have to make. I only want what He wants for me, even if it is the hardest thing I have to do. I am at such a crossroads, where each day I have to focus so closely to hearing His voice that I cannot think past the moment. I am waiting, and that is not a comfortable place for me. But if it is what He wants, I trust Him.

Jesus understands our every weakness, as He struggled Himself in the Garden of Gethsemane. Yet, as He responds, so I pray I have the courage to say, "Nevertheless, not my will but Thine be done, O Father."

Days 12 - 18 Season of Lent

3 March 2018

This has been a difficult time for me, for many, as we have had to say goodbye to friends and family over the past several weeks. I have been at a loss for words to express the grief I feel, so I offer to others all I have to give: my love, my ear to listen, my heart to share, and my time to give.

Lent is a time of reflection, listening to the Lord's guidance, and meditating on His love, mercy and grace. We have all lost someone, and we have all faced loss and grief. It takes time for the hurts to heal, and we never forget...we  always remember. Memories hold us close.

Jesus understands. He has experienced every feeling, emotion, hurt, and yet He continued to love and comfort. He offered Himself. He gave His all. Our Father calls us to give the same love, forgiveness, and grace.

Make the most of the time you have with those you love. Love lavishly. Leave no room for regrets.