Day 12 Courage, Dear One

1/12/2025

Listening to Joshua Aaron singing in the Garden Tomb during the Feast of Tabernacles carries me back in time, remembering dreams I had so long ago. Sometimes I mourn all the missed opportunities, but I am learning that some dreams never die, while others are birthed in ways we cannot imagine. What saddens me the most is knowing that a careless comment or indifference of one person can squash the hopes of another. I have experienced this more than once in my own life, and more recently I've learned that one of my own children suffered in a similar way.

My younger son is a brilliant guitarist, but he doesn't play as he once did. The guitar is old and in need of repair, and his hands are stiff from arthritis. I encourage him to try, and some mornings I'll hear the faint melodic chords rising from the basement beneath my room. When he was sixteen he was invited to study at Berklee College of Music in Boston, a prestigious school for guitarists, much as Julliard is for the arts. Sadly, his acceptance was kept from me, and he was discouraged from going for lack of money for tuition. I imagine I was not told, because I was taking care of my daughter, who was very ill. I, myself, was very ill also, but this would not have mattered had I known. I mourn the lost dream, the discouragement from one parent, and my not knowing or being able to help. My son and I talk about many things, lost opportunities, the words of others that crush the spirit, and those who are so preoccupied with their own lives that they have no time to be a true friend. My moving back to Virginia has hopefully been an encouragement to him, and my hope is that he will not give up. He does believe that God orchestrates circumstances in our lives, and he believes in destiny. At least he's thinking about it, and he hasn't given up hope.

When my children were growing up I always tried to encourage them to be and to do what they truly wanted. It didn't matter if one had lofty dreams and the others were more down to earth. I have always been a dreamer, and I still am. The only thing is that age is catching up with me, but it doesn't keep me from drifting away in memories or considering possibilities. I want that for my kids too. 

When my older son went away to college, he wanted me to go with him so I could go to medical school as I always wanted. I had been inspired to study medicine when I was very young, after reading The Burma Surgeon, about a missionary doctor. So many years have passed since that day. Chronic illness has overshadowed each of our lives, some more than others, but it doesn't mean the vision dies. Life goes on, and adjustments can be made. All we need is faith. God can do the impossible, and He has proven this more than once in my life. The Bible says that God takes the foolish things of this world to confound the wise, and I believe that about sums up my view of life, my own especially. Balaam's donkey has nothing on me. 

I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I know that each day is a gift from God, and each day needs to be cherished. I can't change what I didn't know or what I couldn't do, but I know that my God and Father can move mountains. I know that He has a plan for me and each one of my children. I don't care how old I am or what is going on in any of their lives. I know in Whom I have believed, and I am persuaded that He is able to keep that which I have committed to Him against that day (2 Timothy 1:12).

He wants that for each of His children. It is so wrong to discourage another or poke fun at what another says. Words are truly life and death, and they must be guarded. So many children need our love, and they need to know that there is purpose in life, and of the gifts God has given to each of them. Ben Carson is an example of someone who had the support of his single mother who worked two jobs to put him through medical school. She's my hero. We can all be heroes to someone to believe in them, especially when they doubt themselves. I want to be that person for my children, for others, and even for myself. I want to mount up with wings like eagles, run and not grow weary, and walk and not faint. I want to dream, but much more, I want to walk in the plan God has for me no matter how long it takes! I want to finish well.