Day 73 Just Me

3/14/2025 

A friend recently asked for my help, not realizing that I no longer lived in New Mexico or that I had "retired." I emphasize the word retired, because anyone who knows me should understand that retire is something I really don't know how to do. As a follower of Christ, well...let's just say that God has His plans for my "retirement." I'm busier now than ever, and volunteering has its greater reward when Abba has the say so. I never lack for anything I need, and there always seems to be enough to go around.

My friend also said that she was glad that I was in my happy place. I've thought long and hard over those words "happy place," because I never thought of being happy, just content. I don't know if they are synonymous really, happiness and contentment, but what I do know is that happiness is an emotion while contentment is a natural state of being, in my opinion.  Paul said that he had learned the secret of being content in any and every situation (Philippians 4:12). I think I prefer that assessment of my feelings, as I've had so many changes in my life that I either had to adapt and learn to live with it, or be the most miserable person on the face of the earth. Since that isn't who I am, as I enjoy smiling and laughing, then, yes, contentment is what I feel. 

I told my son recently that what I missed most about New Mexico, other than my daughter and friends, was Parasol's chicken tacos with guacamole and green salsa! When I am able to travel that way, believe me, I will feast on this wonderful delicacy as often as I am able. I'll probably gain a lot of weight, but at least I'll have a smile on my face as I waddle along!! 

But that's not all I miss. I miss my secret hiding spot in Sipapu, where I'd steal away for a few days and play in the snow, walk by the river, mountain bike, or lounge around and write. It has changed a lot in recent years from what I can see looking at the web site, but the mountains have stolen my heart. It was only about 45 minutes from where I was living, but it was scenic and quiet. I have entertained the idea of trying to get a seasonal job there, but there's quite a bit of distance between here and there, so unless I could work out a special deal, the idea seems over the top. Still, I can dream.

 

Yesterday I blogged about my grandparents, and I shared a bit about having no one to encourage my dreams. I've had so many! I remember a scene in the movie Little Women when a man told Jo she should be a lawyer. I remember her responding, "I should have been a great many things." I don't know if I was ever called a dreamer, but I was, and I still am. My kids think I can make and do just about anything, because I had to improvise so many times, but then, my mama could honestly pull a rabbit out of a hat. So, I guess her ingenuity and creativity were passed to me. Once my boss asked me a question once about how to expand the business, so that it would be more profitable. I remember sharing with her that if you look around, and observe what type of services are needed, then think about ways to provide that need, then she'd most likely succeed. I still believe that. Whenever you put others before yourself or above making a profit, it comes back around and meets the need, over and beyond.

I really would enjoy being in a position where I could have my home for misfit toys. A place where the down and out, unwanted, elderly, orphans could have a home and a place to live, feel loved, and learn to be who they dreamed of becoming. It would be a place where they wouldn't be laughed at or told their idea was dumb, too expensive, or impossible to achieve for one reason or another. At the home they'd find healing, emotional support, education and know how to achieve the goal, and then off they'd go to conquer the world, and hopefully, pay it forward to someone who needs it. I believe nothing is impossible when Jesus has first place in your heart. If you are surrendered, and you seek first His kingdom, He says all else will be added. I believe Him. He certainly has changed my life of self-doubt into impossible dream mode. Holy Spirit is a great Encourager.

One thing I really enjoy doing is watching Christmas movies with my daughter. Since we are a little less than 2,000 miles apart right now, the best we can do is choose a movie to watch at the same time, then we discuss it over the phone. We watched one tonight about a young lady whose daddy died leaving her and her sister with a dairy farm, where they made homemade ice cream. The sister had moved to the city after graduation, before her daddy died, as farm living was not her thing. Over the years, after his death, the farm was losing money, and the mother and sister were going to lose the farm to a big city operation, supported by the sister who lived in the city. In the end all worked out, the farm was saved, the sister got the money she wanted, and the relationship was restored. The sister learned that family was more important than business. I love movies with a happy ending, especially when relationships are mended and friendships restored. 

My close, dear friend in New Mexico gave me a necklace that has a saying on one side, and another one on the flip side. Side one says: "Trust in your crazy ideas" and the other says: "Always color outside the lines." She's one of the few people in my life who understands me, and she gets it! I don't think, or behave, like most people. And I do things differently. Thanks, Sharon. Hopefully I'll make the long trek back to the place I once called home, but really, Northern New Mexico is in my blood, and it's a huge part of who I have become. Home of my hiding place and thinking spot, and a place where many people I love call home. It's home to my final resting spot on earth, or so I've informed my son. He loves New Mexico as much as I do, but being here in Virginia has helped me dream again, and it's helped me cross a few bridges. It's been good for him, as well. He now believes in himself again, and that makes the move all the more special. I still have some plans for this place, my parents' home, and I want to make it a safe place where people feel welcome to come take their shoes off and sit a spell. They may even be some homemade lemonade and brownies sitting around if you give me a little warning. So welcome y'all! The door is always open. I'll be waiting, sitting on the porch step with my buddy, looking off into the distance, considering my next great tryst.