Day 360 - Dauntless

 

Remembering....

As I sit in the safety of my home I can see familiar faces come to mind so clearly etched in my memory, never erased by years or malady. My agile mind holds fast the days as if they were only yesterday, and I am alive again spending precious moments with my beloved papa and grammy.
I am a sprout once more in the castle of the king and queen, a place of dreams and imagination where my cousins and I weaved stories of justice, truth and light astride our stick horses marching on strongholds made of leaves and twigs. I was always the one with my head in the clouds, my nose in a book, eyes glistening with wanderlust as I listened to the stories lovingly spun by my grandparents. Their home was my heaven, my hiding place, my place of safety and refuge. Even then, when I was growing up, the world was a changing place with checkered pasts and greed and personal gain. But even so a world where memories could not die or passions were never put to rest, I lived, embraced in love and laughter, pain erased if only for the day.

In search of adventure I took off into woods armed only with my wit and daring, undaunted was I, never straying from my confidence and trust in my invisible Companion. Never mind the danger that lurked beyond the hallowed walls of the manor. I knew I was loved beyond imagination. How many children have that joy in these modern times where childhood tragically ends at such an early age. And yet, there are those on whom God has placed a special touch of grace to withstand the atrocities they are sure to endure. Seems unfair at times, because we cannot understand the height and depth of His Omniscience and wisdom, the depth of His love. We trust, in all our fears and horrors, resting in peace, knowing He has not turned His heart away. He is here...always near. He weathers each storm, stays each final judgment, and lovingly comforts.

Today some feel abandoned, pills and alcohol replace the truth, fill the void. Listening to the voices, unrelenting, forever haunting of past mistakes, regrets, and failures. Will the horror be put to rest, or will they go on to face another day and another of uncertainty of what the future holds. There are many questions that perplex the minds of those who are lost in the lies, who do not know the one true Voice saying, "Come unto Me...and find rest and peace for your souls...."

I often wonder if my grandparents would be proud of the person I have become. I pray so, as I would truly never want to disappoint the ones who loved and believed in me. The ones who encouraged me to live a full and free life. Yet in spite of losses in my life I know a greater Love, and I am content to wait until the day comes...! Dauntless in my path towards the Light, beyond the fears, the tears, the death, forever in His presence and His grace...I press on!
 

                                                                                

                                                                                                    

Day 354 - Day 359 The Day of Days

Christmas Morning and all is bright! Many gather together on this most special of days to celebrate Christmas. Families and friends gather to make merry, open gifts, and share in festive dining of all the delicacies life provides. Many...but not all.

Countless people find themselves alone today due to circumstances about which we can never begin to understand. Some choose to celebrate alone, although they are welcomed by friends, perhaps their families, to share a meal. Others hide themselves away, because the pain is too unrelenting, and they fear chastisement from others if they leave the safety of their homes or hiding places.

How well I understand. A person can be in a gala setting where merriment and laughter fill the room, and he or she may appear to fit into the moment quite gloriously, only to return to the emptiness of their own existence and take their own life. Others have experienced unexpected disasters, deaths both present and past, or recently received the tragic news of a friend with whom they have just visited the day before who went home to commit suicide, because the pain was so deep.

Please don't think I am trying to spoil the joyous celebrations of December the 25th, not in the least. I just want to take a pause and remember. The next time you see a "bum" on the street or someone who may not be dressed as appropriately as yourself, pause to think. Perhaps when you are sharing with another, and you glimpse in their eyes or sense something may not be quite right, rather than turn away and wish them well, take a little more of your time to question with sensitivity how they "really" are doing. How quickly when asked how we are doing we respond with, "Fine, and you?" I do it myself in order to change the subject. It is a survival instinct the solitary ones use.

God says that He sets the solitary in families, and I know this to be true. He surrounds us with people who bring joy and happiness into our lives. I believe wholeheartedly in friendship and befriending the friendless, the lonely, and especially the destitute. Today I may be alone, no family or friends surround me, but I am never truly alone. The company I keep though invisible to the human eye can be felt most resplendently with joy unspeakable and full of glory! I sense the lights of heaven and the presence of my Lord. How can I ever be alone amidst such wondrous companions?! All of heaven sings today! I can only imagine the festivities enjoyed in heaven today. My parents, grandparents, uncles and aunts are all in attendance, making merry in honor and glory to the King of Kings! I ache for the day to join them!

But, for today, as I wait until that day arrives for me, I have things to do!  As I reminisce of days before and those yet to be I am making plans for the days ahead. I have a project for the New Year, regardless of the political climate or decisions which may alter my life in ways unexpectedly. I am going to dream of better days for those I love who may not be as joyous as I. I want to celebrate life and be a light to those whose eyes may lack sparkle, whose lives are less aglow. I want to see hearts renewed and fires lit. I have a huge dream, and I don't want another moment to go by without taking a step forward each day. I have to give it my best, and although I know I will be challenged, I purpose to push forward, even if I walk alone. I cannot bear to think of another lonely Christmas for anyone. I want Christmas every day! It's why my Christmas tree, my memory tree, remains up all year round! This year I hope to add a second tree!

Please pray for me as I plan my Christmas Year Round adventure, and as I take the next steps in my own personal pilgrimage, my journey on the path God has for my life. May He illuminate the paths of your lives as well. Until His return we are to occupy and fulfill the Great Commission, and I intend to do so.

May the lights of Christmas and the joys of Heaven find you blessed this season! And in the words of Tiny Tim..."God bless us, everyone!"

Days 341 - 353 Days of Reflection

Since my last entry I have been traveling the pages of the Daily Walk from Titus to 1 John 2. It's been a time of purest re-discovery as I seek to find understanding and renewed purpose. These days have been some of the hardest trials I have faced this year, I believe, as I struggle not against flesh and blood, but against unseen forces at work. At this most wonderful time of the year when we should be sharing good will, love and happiness, there seems to be more dis-ease, greediness, and lack of love and compassion, especially among believers, in the One whose birthday we welcome each Christmas. I could say I miss the "good ole days," but it is not that so much as I miss the purity, reflection, and respect shown towards others in the days in which I lived and raised my children. There was an excitement over the joy in the air as opposed to what was found under the Christmas tree. What has happened to the wonder?

There are those who would respond to my question as they do to all questions posed in regards to things that go wrong. They blame someone else, other than take the responsibility on themselves. The problem is that children are not taught to value and respect authority, much less have respect for themselves. Everything is hurried, so discipline is overlooked or rather it is a passing reprimand without authenticity and meaning. Words without lasting value that are taken lightly if at all. I observe it often, and, sadly, it is observed in the church more often than not. My heart has been broken over and over, as I wait on the Lord for answers as to the proper response to these indignities. How does one respond and show the love of Christ?

In studying the life of Jesus I am reminded of His teaching style, and I am reminded of his dislike for the pious and unteachable Pharisees of His day. It is the same for this age. There will always be wolves among the sheep, and tares among the shafts of wheat. Yet while this is true, there is power in the one Christlike life.

"One taper lights a thousand.

Yet shines as it has shone;

And the humblest light may kindle

A brighter than its own."

Hezekiah Butterworth

A friend of mine who has been growing in the word was very troubled by seeing the things she was seeing in light of the words she had been studying in her daily walk though the Bible. She sadly asked me how we could help the ones who are so blinded by their actions. The answer is the same for any question pertaining to dealing with the perplexities of our life....  Our help comes from the Lord, so the answer is "on our knees." Very humbly we beseech the mercy, grace, and wisdom of God, the Only One who is able to help, the Author and Finisher of our faith. Trying to respond to a battle that is being fought in the heavens, albeit we are seeing it in the natural before our unbelieving eyes, is won only by prayer and standing in faith for what is right.

People want to see consistency. They do not need further condemnation, because in truth they probably have lived through much of that guilt and shame heaped on them over a lifetime. Even children are harshly shouted at, then shoved aside for greater preoccupations than a willful child demanding attention and love. In working with at risk children I have found that the unruly ones are the love-starved ones who behave improperly, because that is the only way someone pays attention to them. So I see it as a cry for attention, and mostly, it is a cry for acceptance and love. So if they can receive attention, patiently and compassionately responded to in love, as opposed to irritation and bursts of anger, perhaps...just perhaps, the consistency will evoke a response and change in their attitudes and behaviors. Love always wins out! And, hopefully, the change in the children will rub off on the parents and other adults who have thus far shunned or abandoned them in their short lives. Priorities are so mixed up, are they not?! And people are so blinded by their visions of themselves.

I want so badly to represent the love of God in my life towards all I encounter along the way. I don't want to pass them by, rather I want to give them the reason of hope that is within me, especially this time of year when there should be wonder in the air we breathe! The wonder of His amazing love, ransomed for me, for you, for all.

Day 340 - Blazing a Trail

"The secret of life is that all we have

and are is a gift of grace to be shared."

Lloyd John Ogilvie

Why is it that trying to live a righteous, holy lifestyle, embracing the teachings and character of Christ is met with such blazing opposition by the very people who should desire the same? It seems the more I desire to become unoffendable, walking in love and forgiveness, the greater battles come from "religious" people. Even the ones we love the most, our families, close friends seem to be changing colors and attitudes, seemingly for the better, yet not so, rather a contentious spirit of jealousy and division seem to form a stronghold, often difficult to penetrate much less pull down.

The first and third Wednesday nights of each month I have been leading a Bible study for teenagers and adults called GLOW, an acronym for God's Love on Wednesdays. I have been trying to instill in my listeners the importance of knowing the scriptures, engrafting them into their hearts, as I was taught by my mother, grandmother and teachers, and as I did the same for my family. How can we share the faith with others unless we have a love of the word and the Author in our own lives? And how can we be the hands and feet of Jesus if we do not spend time in His Presence daily learning to know Him?

"Time alone with God can help us grow, but so can serving others.

Instead of feeling guilty about how little time alone I get, I need to look

at how I can connect with God in the midst of my chaos."

Keri Wyatt Kent

I am a very practical person who has had to learn to "modify" teaching styles and ways of doing things to compensate for what is available and what works. Not everyone learns how to do a thing in the same way, so the approach has to be adapted. Thankfully, this is a gift God has given me to use for His purpose. So I am designing games based on scripture to encourage participation and spark enthusiasm in studying and learning the word of God. My first attempt at a variation of the game Wheel of Fortune was a success marked with optimism and enjoyment by the participants, encouragement for me!

So I continue on...! I must admit, however, that there are times I grow weary of the challenge.  I begin to wonder if what I am saying means anything to anyone, because no one appears to understand living for Jesus is not a Sunday morning game show, or a time to be entertained for an hour or two with stories and puppets. It takes time each day to build any relationship...quality time. As O. Hallesby shares:

"All work takes time. When it becomes clear to us that prayer is a part 

of our daily program of work it will also become clear to us that

we must arrange our daily program in such a way that there

is time also for this work, just as we set aside time for other

necessary things, such as eating and dressing."

Max Lucado in And the Angels Were Silent puts it another way, as my younger son would appreciate: "God's not a genie. He's not a good luck charm or the man upstairs. He is, instead, the creator of the universe who is right here in the thick of our day-to-day world who speaks to you more through cooing babies and hungry bellies than He ever will through horoscopes zodiac papers, or weeping Madonnas." Or...

"Hope is not a granted wish or a favor performed; no,

it is far greater than that. It is a zany, unpredictable

dependence on a God who loves to surprise

us out of our socks."

Max Lucado

God Came Near

What else can I say except... to know Him is to Love Him and to know He loves us so much more!

Day 333 - Day 339 The Spirit of Christmas

 

I love this time of year when the stores are decorated with gifts and toys as in a Santa Village. I remember in early 2000 before I returned to New Mexico from a brief sojourn in Wisconsin I was flown into Angel Fire for an interview for the Retail Manager and Buyer position. I still remember driving up that steep hill approaching the resort, the road packed with ice and snow, wheels spinning until I switched to low gear and eased on up. I was awe struck at the wonder of it all...snow falling, skiers walking, lifts rising up and down the mountain, and white lights everywhere! As I gazed at the sights and sounds it seemed to me that this would be a wonderful location for a year around Santa Village. There seemed to be so much happiness - people were alive!

Of course settling there, working at the resort, reality sets in that the seasons change, even in idyllic places like Angel Fire where the beauty is unsurpassed, especially in autumn and winter. But the thought of a place of joy in all seasons has always stayed with me. I realized this morning that I was created for heaven where joy, peace, and love abound forever.

Imagine the most beautiful Christmas scenes you can visualize! For me it's Chimayo where in one area all the homes are in competition each year to see who can outdo the others with winter and Christmas displays. Some are absolutely breathtaking, and driving through the narrow, country road at nighttime I come alive again when I see the first glimpse of heaven. Down the road and around the bend sits the Sanctuario de Chimayo, simply decorating, but nonetheless beautiful!

 

Another place I absolutely love to visit at Christmas is Shockoe Slip in Richmond down the street from my beloved Fan District. A walk along the river all lit up with festive lights and decorations. Beautiful. Then there's the Grand Illumination...

 

Now and then you'll hear music playing by a small band on a corner, small carts and children playing. Fond, fond memories of times I've spent with family and friends.

 

 

So much beauty in one small area of the world amidst a backdrop of terror in other parts of our world. Stark reality of a world in crisis. Yet even so, the Spirit of Christmas must remain in the foremost of our hearts and souls for it springs hope for a brighter tomorrow, of our eternal home. I anxiously await my eternal home going, seeing the bright lights of heaven, the glory of my Risen King. Smiles on all the faces welcoming me home - home, a place I long to be.

But as I sojourn in my place in this earthly realm I purpose to spread as much love and cheer as I can muster daily, sharing the reason of hope within me to everyone I am blessed to encounter along the way. The Spirit of Christmas, the birth of Christ and the Good News, keep my spirit alive as I press on to the higher calling and our blessed hope!

Day 314 - Day 332 A Magic Time

 

Thanksgiving is a wonderful time of year to give thanks for all our blessings. But, it shouldn't be limited to just one day, rather gratitude should be the expressed in each wakening day, with praise on our lips when our eyes first open. Each new day is a new adventure and an opportunity to see the wonder with which we are blessed in spite of the evil plaguing our world.

Holidays are bittersweet memories for me, but regardless of my melancholy, as I reminiscence of days gone by, I can still see the glory in the sunshine and feel the crisp chill of winter days. It's truly a wonderful time of year, but if we don't pay close attention, it is over in the blink of an eye. One season fades into another.

Over my four day Thanksgiving holiday I have enjoyed watching Christmas movies, plus my yearly Star Wars festival. It's a holiday tradition for me, although my children don't seem to remember the tradition as well as I do. Funny how my children grew up, but their mother is still lost in the wonder of it all. I hope I, like Peter Pan, never grow up. What a loss for the world if everyone grew up, and there was no one to marvel at every day wonders!

In the movie Prancer a little girl, who has lost her mother, finds a wounded reindeer in the forest. She nurses the animal back to health, and in the process of sadness and mayhem, an entire town comes alive again with the true spirit of Christmas. Her family reunites, and everyone, including Prancer, lives a little more happily ever after. The little girl listens to Christmas music all year round her daddy says to a friend. This ole lady is kindred spirit to that little girl, as I not only listen to Christmas music, I watch Christmas movies all year round. After all, shouldn't Christmas be celebrated every day of the year? If Jesus is alive and well, then it must be Christmas!

Maybe this will be the year for new traditions with more whimsy and nostalgia not packed away for a one time season of the year, but traditions carried on the wings of change over the expanse of a lifetime adrift in the distant sky.

Day 313 - I've Just Seen Jesus

Memories keep flooding in and out of my mind today. It's been a bittersweet day thus far, and although I have been lonely, I am not alone. I'm never alone. As I read the pages of scripture today I am reminded of things long ago, things I had forgotten or that were deeply embedded into my subconscious. Lessons that were not only taught to me but that were shown to me developing my character, quickening my senses.

As children we learn most from repetition, emulating what we see our parents and other authority figures in our lives do. Behaviors - good, bad or indifferent. One can learn a lot by taking the time to listen to a child or by simply observing their reactions.

Being the middle child carries different responsibilities. They, or I should say "we," are often stereotyped or identified as having specific "traits." Labeled. I really don't like being categorized or told just because a certain thing "is" I cannot do it. Maybe that's considered as rebellious, but having an opinion should not be considered so. To have an opinion means I care enough to speak up for myself and others. Yet, always responding respectfully. Now, there's a term that is lacking badly in our society today - respect!

My childhood memories are isolated to certain moments, times, and places. I have a somewhat photographic memory, so if I focus I can be transported back, so to speak, and see things as they happened. Many memories have been blocked, however, until God wants me to remember, I guess. Even though I remember something tragic, my feelings do not change, and I thank God for healing me. This is not generally the case for those who suppress memories, as it is a safety against being injured in some way. This is why so many people are in therapy, simply because they are trying to deal with the painful experiences...memories.

Holidays are difficult, but they provide glimpses of happiness from days as a child as the season unfolds and family gathers to celebrate together under one roof. At least for others that is the way it happens, but it's not that way for me. It's these times I become a little melancholy, but I am able to enjoy the quiet times and memories even though I don't have the good fortune of having family around.

One day soon things will be different, and I have the hope of once more spending the holidays with those I love. For now I am grateful just being alive, well, and in the presence of royalty.

Day 306 - Day 312 Memories

"The choices we make, not the changes we take, determine our destiny."

"Seekers of popularity, power, and pleasure. 

The end result is the same: painful unfulfillment.

Only in seeing his Maker does a man truly become

a man. For in seeing his Creator man catches a 

glimpse of what he was intended to be."

Max Lucado - God Came Near

Tomorrow, 11/8/15 marks my mother's 88th birthday. She passed away on 12/20/09, and not a day goes by that I don't remember her words to me about prayer and her continuous reminder that we need to "keep on pluggin'"....words I tried to remind her during her final days.

I have been transparent in my writing about my beliefs, my stands, and my most heartfelt desires to be the woman God intended when He created me for His special purpose. I'm a middle child who, for reasons not always understood, is the black sheep, the prodigal, the "wind in the wist." Although those names may denote aspects of my personality in obscure ways, they certainly do not describe the depth of my character. They are nonetheless thought provoking and worth careful consideration.

My faith stands strong in the face of the mental and emotional turmoil of my soul. Whenever I dare to express the complexities of being who I am, as I become the person I am to be, and as I grow in nearness to my Adonai, Elohim, El Shaddai, I pay the price Jesus said would certainly come for those who choose to follow Him as He guides. My life has been an amazing journey, often spent alone, and not what I thought it would be. Although I have missed opportunities, and the choices deviated from my heart's desire and God's calling, He, in all of His love, mercy and desires for my life, has been bringing me back around to the person He called to be into the ministry He destined for my life.

I never want to be rebellious, fearful, or hesitant, but there are days I want to retreat to the cave as Elijah did and ask God to end my days. I have no aspiration of being swept up in the clouds by the chariot of fire dropping my "cloak" of double anointing on one who remains. I simply want to close my eyes and awaken to see His face.

Last night as I visited with a dear friend who has been a source of strength to me in small, yet enduring ways, I opened up a bit more as to who I am and the life I have lived. We found out that our journeys have been arduous and our friendship not coincidental. We each have witnessed first hand life-saving and beyond human understanding miracles involving ourselves and our children. As I drove home last night I began to understand again just how much God loves us, restores and comforts us in the person of Holy Spirit who resides in us.

As the year 2015 draws to a close, it is a time when many people who are so lonely, overwhelmed, or plagued with regret, guilt, and shame will end their lives. I inwardly chuckled as I read the words "Suicide Prevention Week," as I didn't realize it was isolated to just seven days in the 365 of the year, as with many other causes and observances. I am almost certain it is given little routine consideration on that week or the rest of the days, unless of course you are someone who has identified with one who has taken chosen to end their suffering. As an EMT I witnessed a few suicides, and as a crisis counselor for the Crisis Pregnancy Center in Richmond, Virginia years ago I witnessed regrets. We don't always understand why, but as Pastor Saeed Abedini said, we only need to know one thing...not "why" but "Who."

As we talked last night my friend shared with me the wonderful news that she was going to be a grandmother. I rejoiced in her expectancy of the changes that great gift will bring into her life after suffering the loss of her husband two years ago and her struggle to pick up the pieces of her broken heart. Driving home, alone with my thoughts and my memories, I was overwhelmed with the sense of loss in my own life regarding my six grandchildren and four great grandchildren whom I never see due to a series of consequences. I began to grieve for the death of vision and the path of life I had chosen and never was able to have, and the joys I can never share with my friends and family. I simply trust what God is doing in my life, and I pray that one day He will turn the tide, as He has so many times before, and I will find myself in step with the life I dreamed of having, restored to the ones I love the most. They are never forgotten and always in my heart and prayers.

Wednesday I am setting forth on another pilgrimage, a road trip I have longed dreamed of taking, trusting God as I make my way to Minnesota to share in the marriage of my granddaughter, Amanda to her soulmate, Derek. Pray I can make it safely, as the way is treacherous on so many levels, and as I am engaged in so many unseen battles within my heart, mind, body and soul. God has graciously been breaking the strongholds of resistance in my life, and I have been able to lay down the people's lives most dear to me at the feet of our Savior, pick up my cross and continue on. Few who read this blog will truly understand the magnitude of what I just said. You may read into it from a human perspective, but this is not as much as a personal pilgrimage as a spiritual one.

People always want to blame others or God, but they never want to own up to the responsibilities of their own actions. The innocent will always suffer, and there are so many things that are far beyond our control. But we can stand in faith believing and trusting in the only One who can change a life and turn it back to His original creation, cleansed by fire, purified as gold, and made beautiful as a diamond.

"A candle loses nothing

of its light by

lighting another candle."

 

Day 305 - Unoffendable, Part 2

My thoughtful friend and sister in the Lord responded to my blog yesterday, Priorities, by sending me a note of encouragement. Sadly, the note was removed by someone once posted. Perhaps the words were too delicate for other ears, or perhaps she did not wish me to share it with my readers.
She knows I have been seeking my place in this world, a "home" - a place to belong.

There is a place where I can go and not feel alone. 

A place of wonder, beauty, laughter, acceptance and new beginnings.  

A place where trust and respect are not earned but granted freely. 

Where I can go without the guilt and shame of past regrets imprisoning me. 

To a place where I feel worthy, believed in, accepted for who I am, 

capable of accomplishing the impossible, helped when I am weak, 

forgiven when I am wrong. A place where I can forgive myself and others, 

realizing we are all fragile and capable of wrong thoughts and deeds, 

but where we can rise above anything on the wings of faith.

 To begin again, to be made brand new, with the strength of others, 

who are just like me, just like you. No longer alone, no longer excluded, 

living together in harmony, love and faith. 

Where the impossible dreams become possibilities and realities! 

I am a misfit toy, a displaced person, a ragamuffin broken before God. This morning I crawled up into God's lap - for comfort, encouragement, but primarily to listen and find peace. Jesus warns us not to allow anyone or anything to steal our joy. I am keenly aware of my enemy and his often subtle tactics used to steal my joy. First of all, please hear me, joy is not the same as happiness. Joy is a part of the fruit of the Spirit, the person of the Trinity whose purpose is to comfort, be an advocate, and the one who reveals to us the truth of Jesus. The fruit of the Spirit is the character of Jesus Christ.

 God wants us to clothe ourselves as representative of Christ:

He wants to equip us for ministry, for our life:

He wants to prepare and to ready us and protect us from the enemy's attacks on our entire being:

 

When Jesus prayed for his disciples prior to His death, he also prayed for us, His followers yet to come, those who believe He is who He says He is. God wants us to call Him Abba, which connotes the spiritual intimacy of the word we know as "daddy," which implies trust, protection, and blind faith. But, many times we feel God takes a stone deaf ear to our cries of distress - to our prayers, but I assure you He never does. He loves us with an everlasting love no man can fathom. His love defies reason, imagination - often it is misconstrued in our twisted minds where hatred, revenge, and seeking retribution are the only thoughts in our finite minds. But the answer to the questions is found in the deeply profound statement:

 

His response to debauchery is love poured out just-as-if we never sinned. Many have wondered why. Those who consider their lives as useless, lacking in purpose, lonely, hopeless and without love. Not worth the bother. But we are God's beloved ones, and He so wants us to know and experience the depth of His love. He wants us to turn deaf ears to the lies the enemy has filtered into our minds to imprison us and hold us captives. Jesus came to heal the brokenhearted and set the captives free.

Since my time of healing in Pagosa Springs the attacks on my mind have become more than daily. They are often moment by moment, but I am learning to discipline my mind once more and think with my heart, my gut, because I know my Abba Father loves me so much, has forgiven me for so many shortcomings, and satan cannot stand that knowledge. I am a warrior! Mighty in God, and satan knows he cannot steal my joy or my salvation.

As I pen these words I sense his loathing, but I do not fear him. He can kill my body, sometimes he can momentarily distract me from the truth, he can make the physical pain so severe it knocks me off my feet, but he can never steal my joy, and he can never take those whom God has entrusted to me.

 And this is why I am suffering as I do. 

Still I am not ashamed, for I know 

(perceive, have knowledge of, and am acquainted with)

 Him Whom I have believed

 (adhered to and trusted in and relied on), 

and I am [positively] persuaded that He is able to guard 

and keep that which has been entrusted to me 

and which I have committed [to Him] until that day.

2 Timothy 1:12

The battle is the Lord's. 

I have been angry, but I am learning to lay it down at His nail-scarred feet. Often the pain in my heart is so deep I feel I cannot take another step, but I take that step. I have learned another valuable lesson this weekend - I am able to continue doing the divine assignment with which He has called and equipped me for as long as He requires me, regardless of what another person does, no matter how lonely I become at times, and no matter how circumstances may change. My sufficiency is in Him alone. His love for me is an all-consuming fire. I want to do His will in my life, on earth as it is in heaven. How many people idly, didactically repeat the Lord's Prayer without truly understanding the meaning. How many partake of communion without fully understanding the true meaning it holds or the significance of Jesus' sacrifice or the warning not to eat or drink unworthily, without conscience. How many believe the income they earn, the possessions they hold so dear, not willing to share, saving for their retirement, belongs to them. Everything is His, and without Him we are nothing, I am nothing. He is the Author and Finisher of our faith. He is the true reward, and all possessions, everything we own, our very person belongs to Him for His glory and His use, His divine purpose through each one of us.

My life is not my own, and I willingly lay it down for Him. I willingly choose forgiveness, and I willingly lay down my life. Jesus, while teaching one day, was told that His mother and brothers were outside looking for Him. To which He responded:

Answering them, He said, "Who are My mother and My brothers?"

Looking about at those who were sitting around Him, 

He said, "Behold My mother and My brothers! 

"For whoever does the will of God, 

he is My brother and sister and mother." 

Mark 3:33-35

Yesterday I wrote that I wanted an unoffendable heart. Oh, how that statement sticks a burr in satan's butt, and yet I willingly choose to state it once more. I desire an unoffendable heart, Abba Father. And as I say it, write it, and pray for it even though satan is probably forming a new strategy to take me down. He knows my weaknesses, my vulnerabilities, but knowing me well he knows I may flinch or hurt a little or a lot, but in the strength of the Lord, I will not back down, and I will overcome.

I was a bit discouraged, unsettled about some things yesterday, but I had things to do, a mission to complete. Last night I shared with you my "lovely day." Although it indeed was a lovely day on so many levels, I never forgot for a moment the battle being fought in the heavenlies for my soul, for my life, and the countless ones, including animals, whose lives were in harm's way on that one day of the year. Not even in my momentary brokenness and extreme physical pain did I forget, and I stood with others as the unseen war was being fought. For as long as I am allowed to live I will stand for the lives, the minds, the hearts, the souls, for those who are most vulnerable to the lies and deceit, the cunning manipulation of the enemy. And, I am not lone in this stand. I am part of the 3-ply cord, that can never be unraveled. I am ready, I am equipped, and am stalwart in my faith. I am a survivor. I am an over-comer.  I am His!

I know my purpose. I know my assignment, and I need your prayers. So suit up! in your armor, and please stand with me for your families, your nation, and your world. Lay down your doubts, fears, and inhibitions, and pick up your cross and your sword and follow Him. Today we fight! Today we stand! And no matter what happens, never doubt what God tells you in your heart, regardless of what you see with your eyes. Hold fast to your faith.

Day 291 - Day 304 Unoffendable

Whereas I don't watch television, as I do not subscribe, I do enjoy watching select series shown on Netflix. In my search for something not perverse I found a series, now in its fourth season, called Arrow. It's about a filthy rich, young man who when ship-wrecked with his father after their boat capsizes in what they think is storm driven, discovers that his father is not the man he believed him to be. Adrift on a boat, short of provisions, before taking his own life, his father confesses his wrongs, and his dying wish is for his son to live to right his wrongs. The young man, Oliver, makes it to an island where he encounters torture, escape, and a series of events spanning five years where he is trained to become "The Arrow" as he returns to his home and family where he sets out to right the wrongs. In the course of his pursuits he becomes more than what appears to be a vigilante, he becomes a savior for the targeted poor area of the city.

As I watch the series I see Oliver mature from a playboy, spoiled rich kid, to a good-hearted, honest - beyond his hidden secret - young man, who no longer considers wealth to be something to use selfishly for one's own interests, but something to use to help others who may need a helping hand or a second chance.  And so, as I now begin the second season I am anxious to see who Oliver continues to become as he struggles to regain his strength, courage, and direction to rebuild a broken, devastated city.

I admit I have been struggling myself which is one reason I do not blog daily or always share my writings when I do post my blog. The idea behind my year long effort was to share my gratitude to God.  Regardless of how I feel physically or emotionally, no matter what I see or hear that challenges my faith in friends or family, I still praise my Abba Father who keeps me grounded in His word, for His purpose, and for His glory. At this moment I feel I have failed God so much, because I find it hard to have an unoffendable heart, as Jesus has.  And as my one desire for my life is to be like Him and live like Him, it hurts to the deepest part of myself when I feel I have failed.

Over the years since my daddy died I have tried to focus on the work I do for others, and the person I want to be in my own personal life and ministry. This morning my mind drifted back to talks with my daddy in his later years when I was able to visit him, especially after mama died. I always looked to my daddy regarding financial matters, as he was the one who taught me how to work, save, and stay free from debt. Sadly, when he needed me the most, I was in debt, so I could not burden him with my problems. But I realize now that he understood that about me, and I know that he loved me, respected me, and he was proud of the person I had become. He knew my sufficiency was not in money or possessions, but in God alone.

As the years went by and times changed, he understood less and less about the financial world, so he was unable to answer questions I had regarding 401k or pension plans. When I left my employment with the State and Federal Governments back in my younger years his advice to me was to cash out, and now I see that may not have been the best for me. Yet I trusted him, and he advised me the best he understood. My daddy didn't really understand the changing world. He understood the value of hard work and honesty. He understood tithing his income, provisions, time and beyond, because he understood what it meant to love your neighbor as yourself. Although he may have struggled with the loving yourself part, as do I, he would be the first to respond when someone needed help, regardless of his financial standing or the hardships he endured in his life. That is the legacy of my parents I hold dear, because they responded without indifference or thinking of themselves, to the call of Jesus.

Today I am very sad, discouraged, and my heart is breaking. Why isn't important. What is important is my response, and regardless of the disappointment I am feeling on so many levels, the only person I can change or for whom I am responsible is myself. And the response I make must be to choose the unoffendable heart, like Jesus, because He is the One I love, the One I choose to follow for all decisions in my life. I never thought my life would take the path it has, but I am grateful for the person I have grown to be. As a small child I encountered the profound love of Jesus Christ, and although through life I have strayed at times, nonetheless, He has never turned His love away from me. Now, I am misunderstood and often and the object of disapproval, but I still prefer to have a life hidden in Christ, and a life doing the work of my Abba Father. His is my legacy, as that I have from my earthly daddy. It is my prayer that one day those I love will come to see that life is not about earthly treasure, no matter what the need may appear to be. What matters first is seeking His kingdom and his righteousness, then He handles the rest. Trust me, He does what He says, and His word is to be trusted.

Love, Respect and Honor

I have trouble sleeping. I don't always have a reason - sometimes I am too exhausted to sleep, if that makes any sense at all. Other times I am in pain. Rather than pop a pill, sleeping or pain, I pop in a favorite DVD, one I have watched so many times that I can say the entire script by memory.

I particularly enjoy science fiction, fantasy, thrillers, aka...who done its. But I think my all time favorites of favorites are movies set back in times gone by when men were gentlemen and chivalry was in vogue. A man who honored his word and who respected the woman of his desires. I doubt one finds a mix of such quality and virtue in our modern society; however, I do know of a handful.

Jane Austen has written some significant works along those lines of which I speak. Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, and Persuasion are three classic favorites, and naturally I happen to own the movies, as well as the books. Mr. Darcy, in his shy, and often not-meaning-to-be somewhat offensive manner are beyond words. What a story!

In fairness there are some movies, written in recent years, of equal value in my considered opinion of what connotes a notable, classic example of true romance. But first, let me explain to you what I mean by "romance" as I see it. It is not the slobbery, panting, over-zealous attempt to seduce, rather a scene as one set back in time where consideration and respect are of the utmost importance in truly falling in love...the honorable way. Hand holding, walking in the woods escorted by parents in the distance, and perhaps a slight kiss upon the hand. Ahhh.

Okay, boy meets girl...they actually talk, as in carry on a conversation. Sometimes the first meeting is not even acceptable much less exceptional. In fact they may actually loathe each other at first sight. In the Movie Letters to Juliet we catch a glimpse of "loathe at first sight" where it eventually turns the other direction after a series of "events" have transpired, often whimsical. The interesting thing is that what drew them together was a letter written to Juliet as in Romeo and Juliet. So now you may get the idea,but then, maybe not!

 

The interesting twist is that the "the boy finds girl" is not the true story being depicted in this drama. It is actually more like Jane Austen's book and the movie Persuasion where love is lost but rediscovered. Watch it and read it! You're never too young to appreciate true love! Of course in the misadventures of the hopelessly love struck young lovers, as Jane Austen puts it in the movie, Becoming Jane,"after a little trouble, they have all they desire"...or something along those lines. 

 

Discover the Twists

 

So there you have it! When you're tired, and you just can't sleep read Jane Austen or watch a favorite movie! But wait!! I have not spoken about the wonderful series of photographs at the top of the page. Talk about twist of fate! This all-time fave is the one that has been rocking me gently and sweetly to rest for the past few days. It stars Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock, The Lake House, and you will just have to discover the secret of this gem of a 5 Star movie for yourself. Bring some tissues, as it has its moments! But as Jane says...."After a little trouble...!" And it isn't even her writing! Great stuff, so enjoy!

Until next time...Meet you at the classics!

Day 278 - Day 290 Slip of Time

Autumn is my favorite time of year! The crisp morning air, apples ripe on the trees, pinon pickers in every byway, fresh red chili ristras, and golden aspen trees gracing the mountain. I love autumn!

Regardless of what I experience in my day-to-day existence, no matter how much pain this old body feels in a day, I can still look out my window or walk out my door and drink in the beauty of God's glory! For me, nature makes me feel closer to Abba. As the season progresses and the holidays approach I find myself always grateful, yet I am so aware of the distance between myself and the people I love.

Each day I remember something funny my mama would say. Sometimes I think it is where I acquired my cynical edge, because she was too much of a lady to even remotely suggest outright cynicism. I recognize the traits in my children, never to the point of rudeness, just an edge and always in fun. I enjoy lifting spirits, seeing the positive side of things as opposed to dwelling on the not-so-good things. Still, I find myself sad at times on mornings like this one. I miss being who I am supposed to become. I miss "being." I miss Linda.

You'd think at age 65 I would already know who I am, yet I find my life changing in ways I never expected, never even allowed myself to consider. When I was alone in Pagosa Springs things seemed clearer, but returning back to the same life has hindered my vision again. Pain, after so many years of freedom, but it is getting more bearable as it becomes the norm again. I cannot complain. God has been so good to me. I am a miracle. I am unique. I am grateful.

One day we may find ourselves scurrying around, busily making preparations for a wedding, laughter in the air, and the next we are knocked off our feet from a blow we never saw coming. Decisions too remote to consider, much less make in a matter of days. The peacefulness of life is stolen by one simple change.

I know life gets busy, and I realize very well that sudden mid-stream reversals in plans can send fear and doubt into our hearts. But at the same time I know who holds my future, and I am not afraid. I become impatient at myself, because I feel so helpless to straighten my own path, yet He is here guiding me, taking me by the hand, and if I trust Him, my vision clears, my calm returns, and I am free once more to "be."

I watched a movie called Jumper where the hero is a young man who discovers he has the ability to jump through time in an instant. Imagine the possibility! Having a vast imagination myself I can visualize certain possibilities, so I really don't fear taking some risks. It's not age that's slowed me down, it's my focus on my own life story. I only want what God wants, and I know He wants me to follow my dreams, the ones He inspired, the ones He breathed into my soul.

Heart desires often get us into trouble, as I am well aware, but this ache, this longing deep within my soul calls out to me. I know I am missing something, perhaps someone. Time slips by, and I find myself in a quandary asking once more, "What do I do, Father?" The answer is always so simple, so gentle, never changing, and I trust. I don't know how the days will pan out from here, but I am making steps to clear my head. Pain or not my life will be exactly as it should be, and I am content again to wait and see, enjoying what I have right here, right now, always grateful.

Day 271 - Day 277 Into Another Month

 

Once again I find myself in the throes of pain and one more challenge I have to overcome. I count it a blessing to have been graced with a reprieve from such torment for so long, as most of my life I have had to live with pain. Sadly, it becomes "normal" as one makes the choice either to go on with life regardless of the pain or to give into it and cease to live. I choose to go on, and it is my hope, my prayer that I can rise above this test to bring greater glory to the One who loves me.

This past week I have been looking within myself asking Holy Spirit to show me areas of my life that need healing. In order to heal there are things I need to know, and often "seeing" brings more sadness, but I feel it is necessary to open the hidden places of the heart. I feel my life has taken a detour from the things that God has planned for me to do, and above all else, service to Him is my desire.

My time in Pagosa Springs ("pagosa" means healing) started a turnaround in my way of thinking about priorities in life and what I needed to do to change my focus. I continue to read and glean the advice of others whom I admire as those who make every attempt to live authentic lives. Transparency is a liberating trait, but truth is something we ask for but seldom want to accept. Still it is what I search for in the heart of a man or woman, and I believe it is what God honors most. It's senseless to think you can hide anything from God. He knows and sees all!

I attended a training this week that educated me about services available for those in recovery. The more we got into the subject of what the word "recovery" actually means, the clearer it became to me that we are all in recovery of one sort or another if we truly want to live a life of authenticity. "Recovery" has been defined as "a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength," and it generally comes after a long period of challenges, deep hurts and wounds. It doesn't necessarily mean recovery from an addiction or mental challenge, but it goes much deeper. All of life is an adventure, and there are no straight or easy paths regardless of what anyone may want imply otherwise.  Life is a journey, and it is less than easy. Still we go on, hopefully stronger for the wear.

In my quest for wholeness I have been reading many books, watching movies, but listening to one voice for my final peace. My life has not been what I thought it would be, but I know I am headed towards what God intended for it to become...in time...His time. James Dobson says..."One of the most important responsibilities in the Christian life is to care about others, smile at them, and be a friend to the friendless." There are no boundaries in my opinion when it comes to this dictate of being a friend to the friendless, but it goes much further and deeper. I believe we are to transcend our personal belief systems to reach out a hand to those who don't think as we do or live as we live. Love shown to everyone, because it is the love of God who loves everyone just as He loves me. As His disciples we imitate His example.

"Part of our job is simply to be...always attentive

to what we are doing and what is going on inside us, at the

same time we listen and pay attention to the people and events

around us. Part of our job is to expect that, if we are attentive

and willing, God will "give us prayer," will give us the thngs

we need, "our daily bread," to heal and grow in love."

Roberta Bondi

  

As long as I stay busy doing the things my heart leads me to do with regard to helping others in need, I feel better, less fearful, and less tired. There are many needs here, and my skill set helps to reach those God places in my path to get the help they need. The church doors need always to be open, and we need to be available, even if it means giving up things we would rather be doing. It is the answer to the Good Samaritan story..."Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Even if it means being inconvenienced now and then. Show compassion, and try to understand.

What's next for me? I'm taking one day at a time, one step at a time, keeping my eyes straight ahead, watching, waiting, listening, living, and hoping. My hearts wants God's best for me, so I must not look at what I don't have, but keep my eyes on what I do have in the here and now. I know that all things work together for my good, because I am called according to His purpose. Much more I am grateful for the extraordinary life I have lived, for the wonderful friends He has placed in my path, and for my future days whatever they are and wherever they lead me. God is faithful, and I purpose always to trust Him in the darkness, waiting for the light of day, the breaking dawn of a new day in love with Jesus.

Days 264 - 270 Thinkin' Outside of the Box!

"All the absurd little meetings, decisions, and skirmishes
that go to make up our days. It all adds up to very little and yet
it all adds up to very much. Our days are full of nonsense, and yet
not, because it is precisely into the nonsense of our days that
God speaks to us words of great significance. "
Frederick Buechner

More and more it seems as if my days are becoming unbalanced as more and more meetings are being scheduled at whim all labeled "Mandatory" while the important work that needs to be done is pushed to the side. The resulting conclusion at the end of it all is the addition of one more spreadsheet and one more weekly meeting to discuss what the spreadsheet is determining about productivity in a certain area. Forgive me if I sound somewhat cynical, but how can there be productivity if we are not doing the work we need to do in order to produce, because we are forced to attend meetings all the time - conundrum, catch 22? Whatever...it does not work. Does that make sense?

Still, because I do not want to appear negative, I continue to play the game, and actually, I play the game cheerfully, shaking my head at the redundancy and the conundrums, finding a way to muddle through and come out on top. I have learned the secret of perseverance...it is called "thinking outside of the box." If I have a skill to offer to the working class it is this one.

Growing up with limited income my mama taught me to "make do" with what was available to me at the time. So this skill is one I have tried to instill in my own children, and all the people God has graciously put in my path on my long, surprising, adventurous life of encountering the unexpected.

As a child growing up we dream of the future life will hold, and we make plans. Sadly, dreams are dashed and reality turns a different page in our lives. Still, although my life has taken many twists and turns, it has offered me many opportunities to "make do" and to "think outside of the box."

I thank God for these gifts.

I have learned by accident along the way that teaching someone has to be creative and unique for each learner no matter the field of study. Over the years I have come to realize from a series of accidents and surgeries the challenges one can overcome given a strong will and determination to not succumb to the word "impossible." When I was in the sixth grade my teacher took me aside and asked me a question, "You're not as smart as your brother, are you?" This has stayed with me my entire life. For awhile I figured "why bother" if I'll never amount to anything. But when some dear friends died and rocked my world I came to understand that the only one I was hurting by "not trying" was myself. So I buckled down, and I graduated with honors. 

It wasn't until later in life did I come to realize why learning was more difficult for me, and that there are different ways to learn, plus not all teachers are created equal. The answer had little to do with my capability for learning, as I am very intelligent and quick to grasp, but my style of learning is more hands on than in listening and reading. Plus the fact that as a child I had a head injury which rattled my brains a bit. Add to that the autoimmune disorders I have learned had much to do with the headaches I suffered from early childhood up to adulthood and even into the present day. Many factors since childhood have factored into the equation such as additional injuries to my brain. Not that it really matters that much as I have learned to overcome by "making do" and by learning to see myself as who I am - a person capable of doing just about anything I want to do and do it well. I honestly feel that anyone can overcome given the right understanding and acceptance of who they are and who they are to become. God can do all things in and through us if we only believe and not doubt. I, for one, am stubborn enough to take Him at His word, regardless of what life tries to throw our ways, or to any degree of injury. Others believe the same, because others have overcome to a larger degree than I after sustaining severe injuries or illnesses. My life's work is in trying to make the skeptics understand the importance of never saying never.

As I am writing, my vision is failing, my head is hurting, and my body is wracked in pain. My "new eyes" aren't working so well this morning, so if there are spelling errors, please forgive me. I am having a difficult time focusing, but at least I can think past the blurry eyes and the throbbing head.

No impossibilities for me today! Time is precious.

 "God wants you to fly. He want you to fly free of

yesterday's guilt. He wants you to fly free of today's fears.

He wants you to fly free of tomorrow's grave. Sin, fear and

death. These are the prayers He will answer. That is the fruit

He will grant. This is what He longs to do; He longs to set you

free so you can fly...fly home."

And the Angels Were Silent

Max Lucado

Last night I was watching an older movie, and one of the songs in the soundtrack is one of my all time favorites, Ain't No Mountain High Enough.  

If you need me, call me
No matter where you are, no matter how far
Just call my name, I'll be there in a hurry
On that you can depend and never worry

No wind, no rain
(No wind, no rain)
Nor winter's cold
Can stop me, babe, baby
(Oh, babe, baby) 

If you're my goal

Oh, no wind, no rain
(No wind, no rain)
Can stop me, babe
If you wanna go

I know, I know you must follow the sun
Wherever it leads
But remember
If you should fall short of your desires
Remember life holds for you one guarantee
You'll always have me

And if you should miss my love
One of these old days
If you should ever miss the arms
That used to hold you so close, or the lips
That used to touch you so tenderly
Just remember what I told you
The day I set you free

Ain't no mountain high enough
Ain't no valley low enough
Ain't no river wild enough
To keep me from you

Ain't no mountain high enough
Ain't no valley low enough
(Say it again)
Ain't no river wild enough
To keep me from you

Ain't no mountain high enough
Nothing can keep me
To keep me from you

Ain't no mountain high enough
Ain't no valley low enough
(One more time)
Ain't no river wild enough
(Say it again)
To keep me from you

Ain't no mountain high enough
Nothing can keep me
To keep me from getting to you babe

Hearing that song brought back many memories of that part of my life. Messy, at best. I am a hopeless romantic, not in the sense of relationship, but in living the life I was meant to live. But then I see "romance" in ways other people find senseless. I see differently than most do, so opinions don't really bother me. It used to, but no more. I am learning to be myself in all situations, and that's not a bad thing. It is liberating to be happy in your own skin, especially since God created me to be me! Just as He created you to be you! We are each unique, with our own gifts and callings, and we make up a world of people who offer themselves into the mix. I think God is rather creative, don't you?

He thought outside the box! Imagine the possibilities!

 

 

 

Day 263 Me Time

 

"Some nomads are at home everywhere.

Others are at home nowhere, and

I was one of those."

Robyn Davidson

Tracks

An adventurous life is something I dream about having. My older son once said he was full of wanderlust, and I think he must have gotten that characteristic from me. It's not a bad trait, if you don't shirk responsibility and throw caution to the wind. But it is somewhat solitary, so you have to be the type of person who can easily adapt to all circumstances. I've been adapting to change most of my life, so perhaps this is the life for me.

This afternoon I watched the movie Tracks the story of Robyn Davidson who made a trek across the desert of Australia to the Indian Ocean which crosses 1700 miles. It is a tale of an impossibility, especially for a woman alone, but she did it, because "impossible" is not a word in her vocabulary. Granted she made the journey when she was younger, but I still feel that there are dreams at any age we must pursue. Impossible isn't in my vocabulary either, so I defy anyone who tries to dampen my spirit, the person I was born to be and the life I was created to live.

Doings things alone has always been my experience, because no one can walk or live out your destiny. It is a very personal call, and there should not be limits as we walk out into the great  unknown clothed in faith, hope, and determination living out our destiny.  I am at a place in my life where I feel that I am on the verge, the edge, of stepping out and taking that leap of faith to my next adventure.

Where my path will lead, what it will entail, and who it may involve are still questions, the answers I am exploring. Robyn's right when she said that we need very little in the way of "things" in our life. I know I've been feeling the need to minimize "stuff," which is the reason I never bought another home. I want to be free to just go and "be" living a life of freedom. So, where the road will take me is still being considered. Some days...most days I just feel like leaving it all behind, jumping into my car with my bicycle strapped on the back, and head on down the road. Who knows...maybe one day I'll just do it, even if I have to do it afraid!

 

Day 256 - Day 262 God's Way

 

"Could you do it all over again, you'd do it differently.

You'd be a different person. You'd be more patient. You'd

control your tongue. You'd finish what you started. You'd turn

the other cheek instead of slapping his. You'd get married first.

You wouldn't marry at all. You'd be honest. You'd resist the 

temptation. You'd run with a different crowd. But you can't."

Max Lucado - Six Hours One Friday

Don't act thoughtlessly, but try to find out and do 

whatever the Lord wants you to.

Ephesians 5:17 TLB

Saturday mornings are my special times to sit and listen to the voice of my Abba Father. I talk His ear off daily, but these times are special, because I can just relax and "be," and "being" is where I want to be the most these days. My time in Pagosa Springs reminded me that I must have all the time I can alone with Him, reading, praying, and above all, listening. My resolve to follow His leading only has not waned, and I know what I heard Him say to me. I will never doubt what I heard in the silence, and now I wait for the next instruction, the next word.

 

 

If you want to know what God wants you to do, ask Him, 

and He will gladly tell you, for He is always ready to

give a bountiful supply of wisdom to all who ask Him; 

He will not resent it. But when you ask Him, be sure

 that you really expect Him to tell you, for a doubtful

 mind will be as unsettled as a wave of the sea 

that is driven and tossed by the wind.

James 1:5-6  TLB

I have undertaken a great project to help with a Wednesday night program for kids, all ages, including adults who want to come as little children. We are all little children when our minds are open to learn new things, particularly the things God wants us to focus upon. We are learning how to pray, using the Bible, the sword of the Spirit and light to our path, as our source of all wisdom. If we but trust Him at His word, life would be less complicated, and less of our own doing. 

As Max Lucado points out we cannot go back and do things differently, so we need to focus on where we are now, choosing wisely, asking, not doubting or becoming impatient. Focusing not on what we cannot do, but focusing rather on what we can do. I think that is the key, because if we do it another way, we get "stuck" on feelings, emotions, and we deviate from the path. God is concerned about our dreams, as He so wants to give us the desires of our hearts when those desires are sound, based on His word. We should be thanking Him for not giving us everything we think we want, as we all would be in a world of hurt, and more worse for the wear. His way is the better way, the only way.

If I know anything about the Lord it is that He is not a God of confusion, so striving and trying to do things our way, in our time, will not work for the child of God. If we dedicate our lives in service to Him doing the best we can as wholeheartedly and honestly as we can, even if we fail or fall flat on our faces or backsides, he will be there to pick us up, dust us off, and put us back on the path. This is a given in a world of uncertainty. We simply need to believe that He rewards those who diligently seek Him.

I don't believe in striving with God, as it only makes me disquieted and preoccupied with things out of my control. Truth be said I don't have any control over most things, but I can make wise decisions. I have made it a daily practice to ask God to search my thoughts and my heart and to point out anything that offends Him, then make my path straight again. I was talking to my friends about the new movie War Room, and I shared with them about finding a secret place to be alone with God daily and pray. Of course the idea of the war room or prayer closet is not only to pray about needs, requests, but it is a place of high praise and worship, warring and standing in the gap for others, particularly our families, marriages, and ministries. God gives us the armor to do this, and it needs to be a daily practice.

My "war room" is my home office where I daily pray as I work for the needs of the people I serve, but my entire home is my prayer closet. I am alone, and I am always interceding for the needs that are many, as we all do as we sit, walk, stand, come and go.  My "war room" has bulletin boards with faces, names, requests, and I need to have another board for answers to prayer, victories being won. There's so much I need to do, especially if I am training others about the importance of making a stand in intercession. The enemy's goal is to divide and conquer, using guilt, doubt, and shame as his emissaries. He has many ways of blinding us from the truth and getting us sidetracked and out of the game, so he can win. Prayer and staying in the Word help make us become more savvy to his ways, and having daily discipline in setting that priority is the only way one can become victorious.

The closer we attempt to draw night to God, shutting out the worldly distractions and focusing on God's ways, seeking first the kingdom and His righteousness, or asking to break our hearts for what breaks His, the more the enemy tries to stop us in our tracks by sending trials, persecution, and all the tricks he has in his arsenal, but God never leaves us unguarded or alone.

 

Isaiah 43 tells us no matter what happens, He will be with us to keep us from harm...in the floods....

in the fires...!  An ever present help in time of need. So suit up and stand firm, anchored on the Rock of our Salvation - Jesus Christ, our soon coming King. Together we can stand and make a difference, and if we need to know anything, ask Him, waiting for your marching orders, then do it! Joyce Meyer says, "Do it afraid!" Sound wisdom from a gal who knows about the battle. I, for one, am going to heed the advice, strap on my armor, pick up the Sword and march victoriously into the battle with praise on my lips! God always sends Judah first into the battle. Judah means praise, and Jesus, is the Lion of the tribe of Judah. Won't you join us?!