Saturday, May 24, 2014

Part 2 - The Path of Healing

But now the Lord who created you, O Israel, says,
Don't be afraid, for I have ransomed you; I have called
you by name; you are mine.
When you go through deep waters and great trouble,
I will be with you. 
When you pass through rivers of
difficulty, you will not drown! 
When you walk through the fire of oppression, 
you will not be burned up - 
the flames will not consume you.
For I am the Lord your God,
your Savior, the Holy One of Israel.

Isaiah 43: 1 - 3




Several years ago God spoke to me about a book He wanted me to write, and over the course of time I have kept journals of insight to share whenever I get around to mustering the courage to write.  It is about my personal journey, and there is much about God's plans that I do not understand yet, but little by little, I begin to see.  I believe God has a way of working things out for His glory even when we take a side trip, as I have mentioned many times before.  It's a beautiful thing to see how God works out the kinks and crevices of a burned out life and a broken heart.  It's so humbling to know you're worth the effort when we are often taught the opposite in every day life.  God wants us to know that we are loved, we have a calling, that He has equipped us for that calling.  But we get so mired down in the struggles of life, stuck in the "can not dos" that we put aside the idea of pursuing our dreams, these inward yearnings.  I am an expert when it comes to that.  I can get so fired up by spending time in the Presence of God that I begin to write, map it out, only to be knocked down by a phone call, an email, or a family comment.  These things have literally paralyzed me, and if you have ever had a taste of depression, it is a debilitating prison, without a hope of freedom.

I often feel that people, like Elijah, who walk closely with the Lord, who witness His miracles, the impossible, often get to a point of burn out, and paralysis of spirit.  For myself I can be strong for others Monday through Friday, offering help and encouragement to people, then shut down at night.  The weekends are worse.  I have gotten to places where I couldn't do anything except cry.  For years I wrestled with the demons of not being good enough, of guilt and shame, chronic pain and illness, insomnia. I've been abandoned, discarded, harangued and exploited.  I share this with you, because I feel that in being transparent, others may have the freedom to voice how they feel.  I still have my moments, as I share freely in my blogs, but I know who is the source of the lies, and I know how to stand my ground and fight back.  Why I still succumb to his little traps at times is the question I ask of myself.  I know so much, and I am daily in God's Presence, so why, Linda, do you allow old slue foot to stick a talon in your flesh?!  With me, I think I have become so tired, so beaten down by the injustice in the "System" that the helplessness has brought me to a place of despair...no, I cannot say that.  To despair is to not have hope.  And we always have hope in Jesus.  He has fought and won the battle!  And I will never give up my fight for others who do not have a voice.  I will speak up, and I will not concede. I know too much, and I will not back down until things are as they should be, as much as they can be in the place our world is headed. But, I don't have to go there, nor do the people I hold dear.

So saddle up, we are off on a new adventure. The road may become lonely, there may be fires and floods, but we won't be burned, and we won't be drowned.  We may get singed or soggy, and we may get frustrated and discouraged, but we will never despair.  We have hope and a sure destiny. Together, hand in hand, we can do this!

I'm off today a little side trip I am calling my Path of Freedom which will eventually lead to the Path of Discovery.  Life's so interesting. As I am sitting here writing, waiting for my car to be serviced, in walks a happy young lady, and we begin to talk.  It does not take long to realize that another "kindred spirit" has entered my life.  Someone who understands the spirit within me, the vision of help and healing, the discoveries yet to make, and the freedom to take that first terrifying step into the great unknown.  God is always faithful, always pointing the way, confirming the vision.  So once my car is ready I am off to the Post Office to take a huge first step of embracing the mystery of the unknown  The only thing standing between me and my dream is a passport.  Today that gap will be closed!


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