If...Then

Isaiah 58:3-14

"We have fasted before you," they say, "Why aren't you impressed? Why don't you see our sacrifices? Why don't you hear our prayers? We have done much penance, and you don't even notice it!" I'll tell you why! Because you are living in evil pleasure even while you are fasting, and you keep right on oppressing your workers. Look, what good is fasting when you keep on fighting and quarreling? This kind of fasting will never get you anywhere with me. Is this what I want - this doing of penance and bowing like reeds in the wind and putting on sackcloth and covering yourselves with ashes? Is this what you call fasting?

No, the kind of fast I want is that you stop oppressing those who work for you and treat them fairly and give them what they earn. I want you to share your food with the hungry and bring right into your own homes those who are helpless, poor and destitute. Clothe those who are cold and don't hide from relatives who need your help.

If you do these things, God will shed his own glorious light upon you. He will heal you; your godliness will lead you forward and goodness will be a shield before you, and the glory of the Lord will protect you from behind. Then, when you call, the Lord will answer. "Yes, I am here," he will quickly reply. All you need to do is to stop oppressing the weak, and to stop making false accusations and spreading vicious rumors!

Feed the hungry! Help those in trouble! Then your light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you shall be as bright as day. And the Lord will guide you continually, and satisfy you with all good things, and keep you healthy too; and you will be like a well-watered garden, like an ever-flowing spring. Your sons will rebuild the long-deserted ruins of your cities, and you will be known as "The People Who Rebuild Their Walls and Cities."

If you keep the Sabbath holy, not having your own fun and business on that day, but enjoying the Sabbath and speaking of it with delight as the Lord's holy day, and honoring the Lord in what you do, not following your own desires and pleasure, not talking idly - then the Lord will be your delight, and I will see to it that you ride high, and get your full share of the blessings I promised to Jacob, your father. The Lord has spoken.

The Daily Walk Bible

Wayne's World

Friends are special people, and I have some pretty great ones!  I'm taking you into the heart of one of my friends who enjoys snapping photos of the simple joys of life, and he shares them with me!  Who could ask for more.  When he's not fly fishing, puttering around in his wood shop, or hanging out at the church, he's home taking care of a zillion cats running free in the neighborhood, hanging out watching westerns with Miss Kitty, his house cat, and his dog, Sassy.  He has a recent addition to the family named Wally Woodchuck who lives under the wood shop and enjoys giving the cats grief. He enjoys his quiet life and special friends, and I'm always anxious to receive new pics and home town news!

Pretty soon I'll be back in Virginia at the Dinwiddie house catching up on all the goings on, and hopefully doing some sightseeing of favorite old haunts and some new discoveries.  I used to love exploring the azalea gardens, going to parks, especially Maymont Park in Richmond.  When my children were little they loved going to visit the animals, especially the skunk who, although de-skunked, still had an alluring aroma clinging around him like Pig Pen's cloud of dust!  For some reason my kids always looked forward to seeing the ole guy!  Any day was a good day to enjoy a picnic in the park!

When I was a kid my papa used to take me to see Pocahontas in Jamestown.  I loved riding the ferry boat, and I hear it has been restored, so perhaps I'll get to take a ride while home.  Wouldn't that be a hoot!  Whatever I do I know I'll have fun relaxing, and I definitely can use some of that!

The best spot of all is hanging around home, swinging on a porch swing, watching the sun go down and the critters frolic on the lawn, catching fire flies, then watching them light up the sky as they are set free!  Memories!

Enjoy the pics!

My World

There's something to be said about the simple life.  Lazy days sitting on the porch swing, sipping lemonade, watching the sun go down, and dreaming.  Hopefully the time is shared with someone you love.  Perhaps a school chum, a family member, or simply enjoying the solitude of time alone after a long work day.  I call it "thinking time" which to me means reflecting on the day, the moment or the hopes for tomorrow.

We all need time to be quiet and simply "be" in the moment. Settled down, peaceful, listening to the songs of nature, watching hummingbirds in flight or fight, or enjoying the antics of the friendly woodchuck vying for his place in the world against feral cats. Simple pleasures we often overlook, because we get so busy "doing", existing, competing.  Taking time to be grateful for the incredible richness of life!  We may not have all we want, but we do usually have what we need, if we really look.

I feel sorry for kids today who haven't experienced the life I had as a country gal growing up in Virginia.  We didn't have all the gadgets and gismos children have today to occupy their time.  I even remember a time without television.  To me it was a real treat to go visit my grandparents, papa and grammy, when on Saturday nights we watched Lawrence Welk or Roller Derby.  Whereas this may appear boring to most it was heaven to me.  Not really the tv shows, but the company I kept.

Going to my grandparents' home was a true adventure.  I had the great woods around me to explore the streams, climb the rocks, build branch and leaves fortresses, and ride my valiant tree limb stallion.  I'd rake leaves just to roll down the hill and watch them fly.  My cousin and I used to have so much fun!  Playing in the smoke house with broken shards of pottery or pieces of broken china we scrounged out of the earth from previous players. My childhood holds a wonderful blend of explorations and discoveries.  I think that's why I see wonder in the simple things in life.

Many people long for travel to foreign lands to sleep in the finest hotels, shop in pricey boutiques, and dine at elegant restaurants.  These are good dreams, but my longings are more imaginative.  I have always wanted to backpack across Europe or visit the jungles of Africa to meet and experience the everyday lives of the people I encounter along the way, to share in their ways of living, listen to their stories, and see the beautiful world God created for us to enjoy.

I travel almost daily along the back roads of New Mexico, off the beaten path I know so well.  There's not a bump in the road or a flooding arroyo I have not encountered, villages some dare not go, but I love it all.  The more unlovely it appears to others, all the more desirable it is to me.  There is beauty in the places, in the faces everywhere I go.  I love my little place in this world and these precious people I call my friends.  There is no pretense of worldliness here, only the simple life.  A place I hold dear, where I can drink in the natural beauty and breathe the fresh air!  So liberating!

Simply Put

Receiving inspiration for blogging really isn't that difficult a task.  We can look all around us and see the wonder of the Lord in every bit of creation, in the people around us, and in the things that we do.  Each day as I take the time to meet with God and read His wonderful words of life I am amazed at how much He thinks about us, the plans He put in place before the creation of the world. 

I am reading the book of Isaiah now where God is telling His people His plans to use a heathen king to bring peace and restore the nation Israel.  He is speaking of future plans using a king who will not be born for centuries.  It speaks of the unwavering love of a Father for His wayward children.  In the light of all that is happening in our world today, what has already taken place, and our fears of what lies ahead, God's love never changes.

We do at times question His methods, ask Him why this or that happened, why a child was born with a disability, or wonder why when He can do "all things" He seemingly looks the other way.  I have no answer other than what He says so clearly in Isaiah 45:9 - 10: 

"Woe to the man who fights with his Creator. Does the pot argue 

with its maker? Does the clay dispute with him who forms it, saying,

'Stop, you're doing it wrong?' or the pot exclaim, 'How clumsy can you be!''

Woe to the baby just being born who squalls to his father and mother, 'Why

have  you produced me? Can't you do anything right at all?'"

We will always have questions as human beings struggling to understand the whys and whatnots of our age.  This is where the "Trust Me" comes into play.  We either do or we don't; there is no middle ground.  He is God; there is no other.

Insanity

Edvard Munch was a Norwegian Expressionist painter of the 20th century best known for his piece called "The Scream".  He described his inspiration for the depiction in his diary, "One evening I was walking along a path, the city was on one side and the fjord below. I felt tired and ill. I stopped and looked out over the fjord—the sun was setting, and the clouds turning blood red. I sensed a scream passing through nature; it seemed to me that I heard the scream. I painted this picture, painted the clouds as actual blood. The color shrieked. This became The Scream."  

A study into the life of this artist reveals the influence of his father, Christian Munch, who was a physician and medical officer who raised his family after the death of his mother, Laura, who died of tuberculosis. of his father Munch wrote: 

"My father was temperamentally nervous and obsessively religious—to the point of psychoneurosis. From him I inherited the seeds of madness. The angels of fear, sorrow, and death stood by my side since the day I was born."

I've always envied the way an artist is able to capture the expression of the soul, the cry of madness onto a canvass or within the lines of poetry or delve into the depths of insanity as envisioned in the works of Edgar Allan Poe, who was born in Boston but raised and educated in Virginia.  Poe is famous for his literary tales of the macabre best depicted in his works, "The Tell-Tale Heart" and "The Pit and the Pendulum".   I remember as a teenager performing in a public speaking class my rendition of his famous narrative poem, "The Raven" which begins:

 Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore—
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
"'Tis some visiter," I muttered, "tapping at my chamber door—
            Only this and nothing more."

It's 1:42 am as I pen these words -  I know not why.  Perhaps it expresses the depth of the horror of the pain bringing me down into the depths. As I end the thoughts two hours past my pain has eased, but I am afraid to try to decline upon my bed, put head to pillow for fear I will awaken once more body wretched in pain as I endure this agony.  I am being put to the test again tonight, but thankful that my waking hours will be less dramatic, a reprieve from this hideous adventure of endurance.  Only thirteen days left to meet my tormentor face to face again and receive my verdict..."Quote the Raven, nevermore."

 

Humbly, I Come

I've had a lull in my blogging as you have noticed if you have been following me.  It's interesting, not surprising at all, yet it hits me hard each time I am tested, that when I praise God or reveal a truth He has spoken to me, I get hit in several areas of my life.  I say that it is not surprising as I realize where my attack comes from, or rather, from whom.  The interesting part is that whereas I am not surprised by the attack, the area of the attack is one that is re-visited over and over again.  The minute I feel that I have finally gained victory in this area or areas of my life, and I openly praise God, then WHAM I get slammed harder.

So, do I give up?  Not really, but I often do retreat, because the same reaction follows the attack...unworthiness!  There are several reactions actually, but they all boil down to one lie that keeps me bound...or so it may appear, because it is in those times that I do not retreat to cower in self-loathing or self-pity but to understand.  Well, I already know who is behind it, right?  Then I should already understand why!  The "why" is that I am stepping on his toes, getting in his face, and messing with his plans.

My only goal is to be like Jesus and to do what I am called to do in this life.  Over and over God is bringing me back to the same place again and again.  I begin to "see", but then my vision is clouded by tests that are allowed to come into my life, because my focus is not where it needs to be.  I think it is, but it is not!

I finally decided to take the course "In Christ's Image" after literally years of waiting for the "right time", because in the human perspective, there will never be a "right time".  We are not called to operate in our time, but in God's good and perfect timing.  I chose the right time, as it is right in the middle of the biggest tug of war of my heart as I have ever endured.

This week I was once more tested in an area where I have succumbed in the past but risen victorious through the vindication of my God, as He promises to those who trust in Him.  I am waiting now, and I know I shall once more be victorious as the truth always wins. We may not think that given the situations in this life and certainly in what we see in the world affairs, yet in the end, the end that we are awaiting in expectation, Truth wins and the righteous prevail.  Read "The Book"!

Besides my class which I believe is 6 months long in the first phase...whew, hand on to your hats!...I began a Bible study in my home.  The Lord revealed another thing to me about this study which "I" felt should be about prayer.  We pray for "HIS" will not "ours", yet we walk in "ours" most of the time, true?  While the study will always have the beginning as prayer, He said that this study will be the beginning of my first "Island of Misfit Toys" vision which He birthed in my heart.  Now for you who do not recall, I launched my public blog on Facebook, Home Again, with a blog about this subject.  To remind you, it reads:


"There is a place where I can go and not feel alone. A place of wonder, beauty, laughter, acceptance and new beginnings.  A place where trust and respect are not earned but granted freely. Where I can go without the guilt and shame of past regrets imprisoning me.  To a place where I feel worthy, believed in, accepted for who I am, capable of accomplishing the impossible, helped when I am weak, forgiven when I am wrong. A place where I can forgive myself and others, realizing we are all fragile and capable of wrong thoughts and deeds, but where we can rise above anything on the wings of faith. To begin again, to be made brand new, with the strength of others, who are just like me, just like you. No longer alone, no longer excluded, living together in harmony, love and faith. Where the impossible dreams become possibilities and realities!"


My first night of Bible study only one person, other than myself, was here.  I believe that was as it was supposed to be, because God is in control.  To be honest with y'all, as I was with her, I was so relieved no one else came, because I have been so beaten down lately with physical illness, recovery from surgery, and persecution in every direction that I didn't want to teach anything!  I was tired!  I was beaten, bruised and bleeding spiritually.  But I was faithful, and I did what God said do by being there regardless of how I felt!  Of course, it is in my home, so where else would I be?!  But I opened the door, and I shared what God had laid on my heart, and I pray He uses His Word spoken through me, unwilling as I was at the moment, sort of like Jonah, to touch an area in her heart where she is being tested, so she will rise victorious in Christ Jesus her Lord.

The focus of my island is to destroy the lies, be set free, and live a life of victory!  So we begin...! 

A fervent prayer rose up to heaven, a fragile soul is losing ground
Sorting through this earthly babble, heaven heard the sound

This was a life with no distinction, no successes, only tries
Yet gazing down on this unlovely one, there was love in heaven's eyes
 
Chorus
In heaven's eyes, there are no losers, in heaven's eyes no hopeless cause
Only people like you with feelings like me 
amazed by the grace we can find
In heaven's eyes
 

A restless child, a wayward father, a lonely traveler in the rain
When life goes on and no one bothers heaven feels the pain
Looking down, He sees each heart ache, knows each sorrow, hears each cry  
And looking up, we see compassion's fire ablaze in heaven's eyes
 

Chorus

In heaven's eyes, there are no losers, in heaven's eyes no hopeless cause
Only people like you with feelings like me
And we're amazed by the grace we can find
In heaven's eyes!

  "In Heaven's Eyes"

by

Sandi Patty

Carried on Wings

The alarm went off at 5:30 this morning, but I had already been semi-conscious for a few minutes.  I was lying there on my propped up pillow marveling that although I could feel the pain, I was being lifted above the sensation.  I could still feel it, but yet, it seemed distant to me, and I was able to function again.  Is this what it feels like to be carried on the wings of prayer?

For days  now I have been battling nausea, my pain level has been so high.  Unable to take medication I  had little relief except using ice and dousing my already inflamed body in the heat of hot tub soaks to somehow relax the muscle tension that was mounting under the stress of the pain. 

My high tolerance for pain comes from a lifetime of living with off the charts chronic pain, beginning in childhood with constant migraine headaches and abdominal pain.  As I grew older it progressed at times to whole body pain moving from one side until the total body was engulfed with inflammation and pain, spinal headaches also a byproduct as well as nausea, sensitivity to smell, sight and hearing.  But somehow in the midst of all the unrelenting torment I lived, functioned, and endured.  Some of my worst days were the best days, as I had to retreat to my bed, window curtains drawn to evade even the tiniest stream of light, soundless except for the pounding in my ears of my heart beat.  I would eventually drift away, suspended somehow in this place of inner rest, and I prayed.  I prayed for anyone and anything God brought to mind. " It was the best of times, it was the worst of times..." as Charles Dickens writes in  "A Tale of Two Cities". I guess somehow, even in the midst of pain, I am arriving at that place above it all, carried on the wings of prayer.  I have no other name for it than "Grace".