Day 227 Escape

 

8/15/2026

 "The unrest of this weary world is its unvoiced 

cry for God."

 

It's late, and soon another day will begin. The one thing that I wanted for my birthday this year was to separate myself from the insanity of this world, if only for a couple of days. As an intercessor I cannot shut myself away completely, as I have daily calls, and yet in some ways that is exactly what I need to do. The unnecessary noise of voices wanting to be heard, wanting to be lauded for their ability to pray louder, longer, or say just the right words. In many ways this is what it seems to me that intercession has or is becoming in many circles. 

My quiet times with God have always been so special, and even now as I write these words, I am examining the motives of my own heart, because it has never been and never will be my intention or my desire to criticize the sincerity of another's seeking heart. My Father knows my imperfections, and He knows that we are but flesh, so He knows we will fail. Had He not known these things, why send Jesus to redeem us, to save us from the sinfulness of our own hearts?! Besides which the true accuser of the brethren is busy spreading his own deceit and vile intentions. Followers of Christ need to be wary of his devices so as not to fall into his evil snare, as many already have done.

I've been sitting quietly with Abba all my life, as much as anyone can be aware of from an early age. The quietness of His presence, and the times when His voice is more urgent. During the periods in my life when I faltered in my attention towards Him, Holy Spirit never abandoned me. I always felt Him near me. Even now, as I wrestle with these feelings that are laid heavily on my heart, occupying my thoughts, I still feel His nearness to me. I can never chase Him away. I never want to separate myself from my Abba Father, as I am solely dependent on His wise counsel and His path for my life. I will gather my prayer points, as needed, from others as we stand together, but I have felt the need to guard my heart and mind from the influence of others and seek only His voice. The chatter, the prattle that seems to never stop, simply noise that has become so loud, often empty, as I realize the subtly of the enemy. I know he seeks to destroy my peace, steal my joy, separate me from meaningful fellowship with like-minded lovers of God. But I also know that although I step away, I will always return much stronger, with greater discernment and a greater understanding of how to continue the fight.

The daily news is non-stop, and many times duplicate reports I have already received. I even find Christian news sources to be confusing and many times filled with unnecessary opinions, offering information that is unsuitable to be shared with the public. It reminds me of housewives meeting at the back fences to gossip, much like the prayer chains exchanging concerns for prayer purposes, never, of course, gossip. If we are truthful, at some time in our lives we have all engaged in such unnecessary sharing. I prefer to know facts and leave the rest for God to reveal. I prefer simpler ways to gather truth. In reading through the Bible this year, the Lord has been directing me to keep my focus on Him and to guard the integrity of my heart and mind. I am to focus only on the Word of God. That is what I've always tried to do, but I am to check my motives each day. 

Saturday evenings are my late nights "on the wall" as I join other intercessors who each have a time period set to pray for six national leaders. I must admit that this is not my favorite period of intercession, as I feel so inadequate to break through the thick hedge of evil that surrounds so many of our leaders. Generally there are more praying than a single individual, yet from 11:30 pm until 12 midnight I am alone on the prayer wall. I generally begin earlier and stay later, because I study backgrounds to see who I am lifting in prayer, how their lives began. Often one may begin their lives with honorable intentions to bring change to the government, healthy goals that could truly benefit our nation for good, yet somewhere in between on their journey up the ladder of success, they change. Many times I don't think they realize how much they have deviated from their initial goals, the ones closer to God's heart. And I feel that fear of others more powerful forces the actions in certain regards.

I have become very tired, not of the battle, rather tired of the attitudes of intercessors who seem to think God needs us. It reminds me of a scene in The Chosen series when Jesus tells Simon the Zealot that He doesn't need him or anything, but He wants him and has chosen him as a disciple to follow Him. God created us in His own image to be in relationship with Him, and His purpose is to build His Kingdom - the Kingdom of God - on this earth. Jesus came to fulfill the works of His Father. He says it many times in the Scriptures, yet no one was listening then, and I often wonder who is listening now. The church is busily engaged in its own agenda, building their own kingdom of sorts, however well intentioned their initial plans had been, even when it comes to what they call revival. 

But, it's late, and I've rattled on long enough. Only God sees and understands me and what I am trying to say, the sincerity of my heart and the compassion I feel for my brothers and sisters in Christ. This battle is real, and my heart heavy, but perhaps I can yet do some good in prayer on the wall tonight as I lead into a new day may it bring hope that can come only from steadfast trust in Him alone.