Day 3 - Knowing Beyond Seeing

 

Today is Day 3 of my year of daily gratitude and thanksgiving, and although the hour is late I want to remain faithful to my daily pledge.

I have spent several hours at different times today spending time with my daughter, listening to her, grieving with her over her loss, our loss, the world's loss. Although our relationship over the past years has been strained in many ways for the sake of survival, I understand her grief, her isolation, her fear and desperation better than anyone. We each handle things in different ways, and I am a bit more defiant when it comes to not listening to death threats, as I have written before, but I feel her devastation, her loneliness, her utter despair, and my heart breaks for my child.  As her mother I so want her to be healthy and happy, living a wonderful life, a full life after so many years of isolation. She has so much to give, and in her simple ways she gives more to others than anyone else I know. Although she has her own fears and insecurities she is a compassionate, loving person who accepts people regardless of their circumstances. She does not judge, because she realizes that we are all flawed human beings needing love and acceptance.

As we spoke she shared that she has become the person she is by watching me. Not by what I said, but by what I did. This really took me by surprise, but her compassion for fellow "misfits" is like mine.  I thank God today for the love of Jesus Christ shining through me, speaking life and action to her. She knows my weaknesses, my regrets, but she saw past the imperfections into my heart.  She saw me reach out in Christ's love to others, inviting them into our home, welcoming them as family when their own families didn't want to be bothered.  Our home was a place to receive shelter, a meal, a kind word and laughter.  Our lifestyle was not in random acts of kindness, it was and continues to be a way of life.  Only God in us can open our hearts to share His unconditional love, and I thank Him for His love in action through me, through Kristie. It overwhelms, humbles, and satisfies my soul.

There are many lonely, hurting, broken hearted people who need a place of safely, love and acceptance.  When we get to the place in  our own lives when we are able to see our own insufficiency and desperate need, we are able to recognize it in the lives of others.  We are all ragamuffins, misfits looking for a chance to matter, and through God's love shining through us we can be that light in the darkness, a safety in a storm.

It's not hard to "see" if you're looking, or to "hear" if you're listening.  It's quite simple.  It's love - His love.  It's Jesus, and I thank Him for His Presence in my life.