Reflections - 1/3/2023

 

My day started early, Mia anxious to be fed. Alex was also waiting at the back door ready to enjoy his first meal of the day, as he tends to chow down more than Mia. He's quickly becoming a fluffy round ball of long, gray and black streaked fuzz. I've nicknamed him Gordito, as he is becoming a little rotund for a smaller Maine coon. But he's so adorable, and as I have mentioned before, although I am really not a cat person, he's stolen my heart. Mia technically belongs to my son, Daniel, but she tends to relax in my room for extended periods of the day. She'll come in, and sit at my feet as I am reading or working on a project, enjoying the gentle motion of my rocking chair, hoping I'll give up my seat for her. When that fails, she'll take over the bed, flopping wherever she likes. But in spite of her thinking she rules the roost, I do enjoy her antics and occasional temper tantrums when she doesn't get her way. 

I enjoy the early part of the morning, before or just as the sun is coming up. I love to look out the window at the huge maple tree in the back yard and at the birds playing outside in the bushes. It's generally quiet in this old neighborhood on the edge of country living, and I can get lost in the quiet and wonder of the morning. Even if it's raining or gloomy, I can still get lost in thought, grateful for the little piece of earth God has gifted to me. 

As the day progressed I caught up on reading the daily buzz of news, and although difficult to swallow at times, it does not steal the joy I have in knowing that God is larger than anything going on in the world, and nothing catches Him by surprise. Still, He has a work for us to do as we stand in the gap, holding up concerns in prayer. 

It's now late in the evening, as I reflect on the day, preparing for bed. Once more it is extremely quiet, so I can focus on quiet time and listen while I talk to Abba. I generally post prayer needs received from Intercessors for America, if I feel led to do so. I try to avoid many of our reports, because quite honestly, I don't think people really want to know what is actually going on in the nation today or what God thinks about it all. The apathy I see from professing believers is distressing, but what is encouraging is seeing Northern Virginia parents raise up and say enough is enough when it comes to protecting their children. I applaud when I hear about one of my fellow intercessors who, like Daniel in the Bible, cared not of the edits of the king, and did not bow his knee to Baal by worshiping a mortal king who threatens death to those who disobey him. Rather he worshiped the King of Kings three times daily in plain view. Today Christians are being arrested for simply praying quietly whether it be before a ball game or for those grieving the death of a public servant at the scene of an accident. Somehow it enrages people to see us pray in public, even if prayers are silent, but it does not concern anyone when immoral acts are performed or lauded in public or satan worshipers parade defiantly openly mocking God. I understand that public prayer is now banned, but this will not keep me from bowing my head at the dinner table in public to thank God openly for the meal, blessing those who worked hard to prepare it. I won't stop testifying of the Lord I love who has done so much for me, healing my physical body and redeeming me, calling me His own when I felt so abandoned by everyone else. And it won't stop me from praying for anyone who asks me to pray whether it is on a sidewalk or the middle of a store. 

But what I really do not understand is how some pastors are more concerned with growing their church membership with programs than preaching the word of God and standing for what is right. I don't understand why so many are turning their backs not wanting to get involved, don't want to rock boats, or lose their tax standing. Sure, they admit that the Lord can return at any time, but rather than warn people and call them to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ, they are content to wait for the rapture, assuming they will go when He comes. But if I am reading my Bible correctly, it doesn't say sit back and wait for Jesus to return, stay hidden in a hole and be quiet, rather He said to occupy and snatch people from hell. Revelation boldly states that we will overcome by the blood of Lamb, and the word of our testimony, and we love not our lives to the death. The way things are progressing, we could be required to deny Christ or die. It is a sobering thought, but it already happens in foreign countries and has for many, many years.

I also know quite a bit about miracles on a personal level, so it really upsets me when people assume that if they get a certain diagnosis that they are going to die. Why is our opinion of the Almighty so small? Either He is who He says He is and does what He says He does, or we are deceived. I have a testimony, and I know He does what He says and what He already has done. 

As I close my day in prayer, it is my heart's desire to see many people know Him as Savior, Lord, and Friend. May the Lord bless you as you seek His face!

 

New Year, January 2, 2023

As we welcome in the New Year, it customarily follows that new resolutions are made, Bucket Lists are revised, and a myriad of other lists, promises and to-does are considered. Whereas I do not make resolutions, I do choose a word on which to focus that revolves around my personal relationship with Jesus Christ and personal growth in my walk. Over the past couple of years my words have been "surrender," "abide," and for this year "devotion." I must say that these are areas where I tend to keep my focus as I am walking through daily life. Trust me, there have been plenty of challenges for many in relationships with family, friends, and other loved ones, because it is part of life. Some such times of introspection and prayer are more difficult, and we can lose focus. But, for every test that comes our way, there is a way not to get lost in despair or hopelessness, and that is the message of the birth, death, and resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. We have an eternal hope that we can count on for all of eternity, if we believe, accept, and choose to follow Him. Prayer and daily Bible reading are essential if one wants to grow in relationship. Also, worship and waiting on the Lord to speak, but you have to have patience if you truly want to hear God's voice, and it happens in various ways. Just tell Him everything. Then wait and trust.

So, for anyone interested, anyone who needs to boost their faith or become more personally related to the Godhead, perhaps some suggestions would help. First of all, read your Bible every day, even if it is only one verse at a time , but it is best to read portions so the context is understood. After reading it, meditate on it making it personal, memorize it, and ask God to give you eyes to see and a heart to understand how it relates to you. Since 2015, after giving several Daily Walk Bibles (NLT - New Living Translation) to friends and family, I have been re-reading it myself for my daily quiet time. I am always highlighting, underlining, entering notes and prayers and answers to prayer in the margins. So, I don't have very much room left for comments after all these years, but I do journal as well, so no revelations are lost. I offer this translation to those new in the faith or to who are not quite ready to take on the Kings James Version. My first Bible was given to me in 1959 on Christmas Day by my daddy (KJV), and it is my most treasured possession. The pages are worn, wrinkled, torn and taped, but it holds so many notes that go back to remind myself of promises made by God to me personally when I was a child, teenager, and as a young  adult. I have memorized countless passages and entire portions, and to this day I can remember and cite those I committed to memory. Being a paper/pencil/pen gal, "old school," I love to write scriptures down on 3 x 5 index cards for reference. One year I lined my computer monitor with scripture cards, as case management can become overwhelming even on the best days, and this is a way I can get "hugs" when they are most needed.

Many of my favorite authors have passed on to glory, but I still hang onto and share these books with friends I know will appreciate wisdom from saints of old who paved the way in missions or spiritual warfare, faith, and revival, because their lives bore fruit, so they are trustworthy. "Declaring God's Word," a 365 Day Devotional, by Derek Prince, one of the founders of Intercessors for America, is a great study in learning to know Christ intimately. "Abiding in the Secret Place" by Andrew Murray is one I love also. It is written in devotional style, but it does not cover the year if you read daily, but it is one you will read over and over again. I am on my third year reading both of these devotionals, because they are just that rich, and the advice or commentary is always relevant. So if you seriously want to grow closer to the Lord, both are excellent additions to your daily Walk through the Bible.

Over this year I am attempting to blog daily. Now, I know I missed January 1, but it was Sunday, and both Shabbat, on Saturday, and church services on Sunday are days of rest and reflection, so I may cut myself a little slack on the weekends. Still, if I am to accomplish the last thing God told me to do, then I have to blog to condition myself to finishing the book I have started so many times and never completed. 

Lastly, but equally as important as prayer and Bible reading and meditation is worship. Singing hymns and songs and spiritual songs to Jesus, inviting His Presence. Gazing upon the cross as the finished work is a humbling experience. Knowing that He died for me, for you, for all, bearing our sin and shame. God become man here on earth, put to death for our sins so we could experience eternal life with no more pain and suffering. I cannot for the life of me understand how a third of the angels in heaven chose satan over Jesus. But I do know that Jesus paid for my sins in the worst death imaginable, His own Father turning His back, as a Holy God could not look on sin. As I watch the series The Chosen, I am becoming more and more amazed at this sacrifice on my behalf. Humbling beyond humbling. To gaze on His face, tear-streaked and bleeding, distorted from beatings, unrecognizable as the scripture confirms, breaks me and rips my heart in shreds. But the more I sit with Him, I feel his love and compassion for the lost sheep of this world. That lost sheep may be one of my readers, and if so, today can be the day you turn your life around by acknowledging your sins, accepting Christ as your Savior and Lord, and changing the way you think about things. He's waiting.

I hope you'll join me as we seek to know Him better by spending time in His Presence.

David Knew What I Know

 

 Last night at the weekly Bible study group we were studying about times we failed God and in effect developed a distorted view of Him. I know a lot about that failure. I, like Paul, consider myself the chiefest of sinners. But I have a Savior who rescued me from myself, so I don't think I have ever experienced a distorted view. I thank my Abba Father every day for His love, mercy, and amazing grace. How many people sing the words of that wonderful, old hymn, yet fail to take it inside and meditate on the scope of the message?! It's like that many times. We tend to go through the motions daily. Give God a little here, a little there, as long as it doesn't mess with our plans for the day. But Jesus deserves more.

In 1 Samuel 21 and 22 David is on the move, fleeing from jealous Saul. Even after being anointed King, David did not assume that position until after Saul's death, even though God had departed from him. There's a lesson to be learned in that respect for the "position" of authority, even though the person occupying the position may be corrupt. God expects us to pray for all leaders, all people in authority, but that is not the topic of conversation for today.

David was on the run, and he takes a side trip to Gath, the Philistine city, after David had slain Goliath, their champion. But David had a purpose, and he showed wisdom in creatively avoiding what could have resulted in a different outcome for him. The subject of the group discussion was fear, but I don't feel David had fear. Yes, we see that after he flees to the cave in Adullam, he does cry out to God in a despairing tone in Psalm 142, but then he ends by acknowledging that God hears his cries and will rescue him from his enemies. He also writes Psalm 34 while he is in the cave where he pens the words "Taste and see that the LORD is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in him."

Some may see David as weak, fearful, and despairing, but I don't. David was a shepherd boy who spent day and night alone with the sheep, guarding them, protecting them from predators and the elements. He also wrote many Psalms while alone in the pastures praising His God. David knew His Father in Heaven intimately, and he knew a Father's love, even though he didn't appear to have the love and respect of his own. These quiet times in the presence of God, judging from the wonderful Psalms in the Bible, must have been glorious. Abiding in the presence of God, under the skies that proclaim his greatness, just as all creation shouts and sings! David knew about fellowship with God, and that is the friendship and relationship that Jesus wants for us to have with Him...abiding in His presence.

I understand that abiding presence. After a lifetime that has been quite chaotic most of the time, I can say, He has turned every physical, emotional, mental, spiritual pain, every heartache, every mistake, every loss and more into an amazing journey of love. I've testified of such many times, but I never get tired of shouting His praises. Jesus went through so much, and He gave everything for me. How can I not give Him my love?! He doesn't ask much in return for this amazing act of love. All He wants is everything! Our surrender, and I gladly submit. It's how I ended up back here in Virginia after 35 years in Northern New Mexico, a place and people I dearly love. But surrendering, allowing God to say "get in the boat and go to the other side" is a life of freedom and trusting My Father. It's all He asked of me - "Do you trust Me?" And contrary to those who shout for independence, I gave up everything, and I gained more in return. It's called abiding in the presence of Jesus, and it is glorious. David understood, and as yet, he had not met his Savior. But he knew, and God called him a man after His own heart. That's what I want! Oh, how I long to hear those words, "Well done, My good and faithful servant, enter in." Eternity with my Bridegroom! 

If you haven't experienced that overwhelming wonder of His presence, spend some time quietly listening, as he will speak to you. I find that worship music is the way I can face the most difficult days. Right now I'm listening to Elevation Worship. The song playing is "Worthy," but it's just one of so many that honors His Name. "Be exalted now in the Heavens, as Your glory fills this place. You alone deserve our praise. You're the Name above all names!" Lifting the name of Jesus can lead anyone from depression to extreme joy! He is worthy of our praise! And in His presence is fullness of joy!

Thoughts

 

 For quite awhile now I have observed two Sabbath rests. I anxiously await these special days of spending time alone with Jesus, and in fellowship with friends and family of like faith. It gives me greater strength to face each day, especially with our current national and world situations. 

I just posted a trailer for a movie by Mel Gibson, the sequel to The Passion of the Christ. Wow! When I saw Jesus coming riding on His white horse with the saints with Him, my heart leaped! I so long to see Him coming again in glory for all to see! And make no mistake, He is coming! This should never frighten a believer, unless of course, there is something wrong with the relationship. But God is always ready for fences to be mended...relationships too. He longs to spend time with us.

I just finished reading the headline prayers for my prayer group, and I must say that being "in the know" is not always pleasant, but it is expedient in knowing how to pray. I was saddened to see the news of the death of the former Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, and to know that these things are happening world wide. I remember so well the day President John Kennedy was assassinated, walking down the steps of the school as we were dismissed early in the day. I remember when Robert Kennedy and Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr were killed as well. These things are not easily erased from my memory. 

Today I was talking to my son about a comment a celebrity made regarding the reversal of Roe vs Wade and Casey and the role of the church is playing in helping these mothers who are in crisis. I feel that it is the responsibility of the church to walk along beside these ladies in providing resources and support in whatever means needed. The celebrity was commenting about those who wanted to adopt the unwanted children. He stated that the idea was sick and suggested they would be better off aborted. I couldn't understand why anyone would feel this way. There are so many things that I don't understand, but I know that God does and that He has all things in His control. I pray that hearts change.

Well, the hour is late, and it's time I get to bed. I'm anxious about being in church tomorrow. I trust you will have a great day with Jesus!

Ramblings

I'm listening to an old hymn, At Calvary, written by William Newell, and it brings back memories of my childhood days singing beside my mama and grandparents at Central Baptist Church. How I miss them, and hearing them sing. Perhaps that's why I find such solace in music, but not just any music, but music that lifts up the Name of Jesus. A couple of weeks ago I dropped by the church at Church Road, and I spoke with the pastor, reliving the times there and all the people who have gone on to glory. Many family members of friends of my grandparents' remain a part of the congregation, so the visit was like going home.

There are many happy memories making my decision to return home a good one. Relocating and basically starting over is never easy, but for me it was almost impossible leaving my daughter, close friends, family members on my husband's side, and returning to a place that is no longer the same. I've mentioned before that I get lost in the maze of shops circling the Colonial Heights Southpark area. Not to mention how the interstate connects in so many small towns. It seems so surreal to me how much villages I knew as a youngster have grown.

Today I stayed close to home, checked a few "to dos" from my list that seems to get longer each day. Sometimes I think a part time job would help me use my time more wisely, but then, maybe I'm using my time in the manner it should be used. That's why I'm taking things slowly, focusing on the most important person first and foremost as I make my plans.

My son and I have established some routines. Friday is movie night. Tonight we watched a Stallone movie from years ago, Demolition Man. It was futuristic and a bit hokey, but okay. I really don't like movies with bad words, but it seems as if that's all there are. Each week we switch off on who picks the movie, so next week will be my week. I have all week to consider. My daddy has tons of westerns, especially with John Wayne. I love visiting those old movies, remembering my times with daddy. There are many memories in this old house.

Hopefully, in a week or so, my sister and I will be taking some excursions to places we used to frequent on my previous visits. I have always loved Williamsburg and Charlottesville, so they are definitely on the list. We used to talk about traveling the mega yard sales that span a mile or longer where many artists sell junk art. As an artist myself, I love to see how imaginative others can be with castaway items. "Another man's junk is another man's treasure," as the old adage goes.

I also want to plan a trip to DC, as I'd like to walk the streets and pray over the nation's capitol for a return to freedom and sound government. And yet, doing so, puts me in harm's way, because it seems that my love of God and country make me wrong. That is very sad. I noticed that not as many people even celebrated Independence Day this year, as if the flag was taboo. It is so sad to see the things that should never be. There is only one way to fix things, because it is a heart issue. Jesus is the only answer. I'm listening to a song as I write this blog. I hear the words, "Just call out His name...Jesus; call out His name...Jesus; call out His name...Jesus, and He will come to you." 

As I end my day, I shout out His name, and He runs to me.  He's in my song, in the breeze that blows lightly into my window, and I invite Him into my dreams. Jesus...Jesus...wonderful name! As I close my eyes, I pray..."Come, Lord Jesus, come...."

Just a Note

 I love to write, and I feel that is the one thing I am called to do, yet apart from write my daily journal and occasional letters to friends, I seldom get around to the book. I cannot really say that I am distracted, although there are plenty of distractions each day. But sitting down and focusing on writing at certain times each day just is not easy for me. Journaling comes more easily, and in those journals, are the majority of the pages I need to pull out for my story. But, even in that, there is a level of frustration, because I feel as if by taking time to focus on the book, I am writing what I wrote earlier in my journals again. I know it sounds crazy or illogical, but there it is nonetheless. And quite honestly, some days I wonder why bother at all. Who'd want to read anything I have to say?!

But the who or if really are not the important questions. The real issue is obedience. Just like writing this blog. The last three days I have been trying to start again, because I felt that was what God said to do. As in the past, some days may seem more "inspired" than others when I am just trying to write. But whatever I write, it is important, because words are important just as life is important. Few people really understand that relevance about life. God created each person with a specific job to do. I for one do not want to get to the end of my life not fulfilling what He wrote about me in His book. Maybe someone reading this blog is not even aware that God has a book with your name on it. Well, He does. Psalm 139 speaks about God's intentions and His love and care for each of us. You may want take the time to read it.

We are all created with one purpose, and that purpose is to declare the works of the LORD and give Him glory. Jesus is our reason. I find it hard to understand why few understand or care about Him. I know I am somewhat of a fanatic when it comes to my love of Jesus, but if You knew Him, you might feel the same way.

Many times I've mentioned the series The Chosen being aired free live stream. It's the story of Jesus and His disciples, and their journey in bringing the Good News to the world. I recommend it highly for anyone who doubts, who is lonely, who is lost, for anyone really. "Seasoned" saints may feel they don't need or desire to watch it, and that's okay, but I have watched it over and over and over again, and I will continue to do so. It's that good, or at least I think so, and there are thousands who agree. Plus it's free, and little is these days.

Tonight I was speaking with someone who has been struggling with feeling "worthy" to go to heaven. Well, guess what! No one is "worthy" for anything. That may offend someone, but the closer I try to walk with Jesus, the more I appreciate the sacrifice He made to save me and the free gift of salvation given to those who simply believe He is who He says He is and did what He said He did. But there's more. We need to show Him that we love Him and am grateful for everything He did and does. Now as I am writing this, I know that I am simplifying it, but I do so for clarity. Plus, there's a high cost for discipleship, because it requires everything. All I can say for those who wonder what I am trying to say, I can only say, read the Book.

The day is drawing to a close, and I'm tired. I had a long day of trying to get somewhere and getting turned around again. I guess I lived in New Mexico so long that I get lost in civilization. But I must say that getting turned around does have its advantages. I get to enjoy some beautiful scenery, plus I get to meet new people when I feel the need to stop and ask for directions. Still I had a good day with a close friend, and I was able to come back strong, encouraging someone who needed an ear and some reassurance that "Yes, Jesus loves you." Not a bad way to spend a day and end a day, plus tomorrow is another day for Abba to shine! He always does!!

I Will Praise You!

 

The sun is up and birds are singing, as I open my eyes this morning, a song in my heart as I greet my living and enduring king, the same song that has echoed in my mind over days and days on end: "I will praise You, I will praise You; I won't let the stones cry, I won't let the stones cry out; I will praise You, something in me has to. I won't let the stones cry, I won't let the stones cry out."

This song by Kim Walker-Smith, "Stones," is one of my daily worship songs, and it holds a special meaning for me, as many of her songs do, as they are pure worship and spontaneous conversation with Jesus. The scriptural reference of the song is from Luke 19 as Jesus is making His triumphal entry into Jerusalem, and the people are singing and shouting in praise and honor to Him. The Pharisees do not like this, so they are urging Jesus to stop these people from blaspheming God, because they do not realize that Jesus is God come in the flesh. Jesus responds to them in this manner:  But He answered and said to them, “I tell you that if these should keep silent, the stones would immediately cry out.”

Kim begins the song with these lyrics:

 

"Find me in the valley

Standing with my hands held high

The valley will never take my song.

Find me in the desert

Holding onto You for life

The desert will never take my song.

Oh, the desert will never take my song."

 

 

 

I can understand the intensity of the meaning of these words to the singer, as I am so aware of the message of the people as they hailed Jesus that morning in Jerusalem shouting, “ ‘Blessed is the King who comes in the name of the Lord!’ Peace in heaven and glory in the highest!”

 

Many times I have shared with my readers the wisdom my Abba has blessed me in understanding the crucifixion on a personal level. Seeing His hands, His feet, His lashed and broken body, bleeding profusely from flesh torn off in chunks, body bruised and beaten beyond recognition, a crown of thorns pushed deeply into the flesh of his head and brow, blood streaming down his face. His arms are outstretched, and His body is sagging from the weight. It is become increasingly difficult to breathe, and yet, He turns His face to mine, and I see His eyes looking into my face, lifting it as if cupped gently in His hands with His gaze. His eyes are full of pain, but there is something else, a love so deep, so forgiving, and an all-consuming joy. How is it possible?! As He takes the last few moments of life to hold my gaze, there are no words necessary. His love lifts my chin upward to bring my downcast eyes to his, as if an invisible hand holds me as I weep uncontrollably, aware of the horror of this vision. He loves me, forgives me, and He welcomes me home with an embrace so tangible. I crumble to my knees, my head in my hands, crying out to my Savior and Lord. I won't let the stones cry out...!

 

At this point in my walk with the Lord I become aware of so many songs heard on Sunday mornings or in revivals, that were so prevalent in my day. At the end of the message, as the evangelist stands in front of the church, standing level with the people, I can hear the familiar verses: "Just as I am without one plea but that Thou blood was shed for me...." and  "I surrender all, I surrender all; All to Thee, my blessed Savior, I surrender all." The lyrics were sung over and over and over again, drawing repentant hearts home. Sometimes the organ would play for what seemed hours, but we didn't care, as the pastor shepherd continued to send out the invitation.

 

"Stones" continues with these words:

 

 

"Find me with the promise

Dancing where You prophesied

Still shouting of everything You've done

High up on the mountain

I was made to testify

Forever, You will have my song

Oh, forever, You will have my song."

 

 

Once our Savior has welcomed you home, and the understanding is deep in your heart, dancing becomes spontaneous worship. I know, because it's part of my praise and worship as I unashamedly dance before Him. Although my leaps of joy and thanksgiving are not as high as they once were, my Abba knows my praise. And I testify of His great love for me. When I was so undeserving of His forgiveness, so unworthy and ashamed, He lifted me to my feet. Over the years of emotional and physical pain and torment, I praised Him, and He carried me through. Even in my own agony, singing became a release. The words echo in my heart as she sings:

 

 

"The longer the wait, the longer I'll praise

The stronger the pain, the stronger my faith grows

The higher the  need, the higher I'll reach

The greater the cost the more I'll believe for.

 

I will praise You, I will praise You 

I won't let the stones cry, I won't let the stones cry out 

I will praise You, something in me has to. 

I won't let the stones cry, 

I won't let the stones cry out."

 

 

Such a fitting start to my days. Remembering. Thanking. Praising. And although my day begins with tears flowing down my cheeks, they are tears of joy as I begin my day with gratitude. I never want to forget. But one thing is certain, although I may not want the rocks to steal my expression of worship, all of creation rejoices and sings out with me. If you don't believe me, just listen as the sun comes up and the birds sing and frolick in the trees, splashing in the streams. That's worship to our King! Spontaneous and pure!