In my room hidden from the world I awaken to a new day to begin again. Quietly I thank God for the day, and as I rise from my slumber I sense the silence all around me - almost deafening. I always begin my days with toast and coffee as I visit with God and read my daily word. My journal entries have been very short or none at all, and I don't like that. In fact I am finding that I am slipping back into a pattern I don't want to follow.
Today my travels took me many miles, and I am so tired tonight, yet I felt that I had to work late again just to try to catch up with something. There never seems to be enough time, and although I try to convince myself that I won't make a habit of working most of the time, forfeiting my own personal time, I continue to slip back in, an hour here, another there, until it once more is the norm.
At least when I'm working I don't feel as alone as I have been feeling. I cannot explain it to you, and unless you've lived separated from ones you love for many years, then there's no way you can begin to understand. And yet when I do visit my family I don't seem to fit into their idea of what is normal or appealing. I am so simple in the things that I do, and I don't really feel a need to be off and doing something all the time. I have always liked to read, listen to music, write and create. I guess it was my escape as a child, and perhaps it carried on into my adulthood. But I enjoy these times of quiet introspection.
I still don't know where my plans will take me when I finally get around to making them, that is. I want to plan a short get-a-way very soon, but I am uncertain as to my destination. I don't feel that I want to go to the usual places. Not because ski resorts are still open, it's just not where I feel called to be at this time. I thought about just staying home, but although I want solitude, I also want to be at a place inspires, whether it be activity around me or simply country solace. I'll figure it out...in time...the right time.
Time to lay my head down again...and dream. Maybe I'll get some inspiration for my time away. I pray it's soon.
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