Day 72 - I Am Not Alone

Yesterday I woke up feeling so alone.  The depth of the feeling was so unbearable and difficult to express, and yet, I knew God was here with me. I never want to let Him down by entertaining these feelings of loneliness. I never want to be separated from His love. This morning was different. At 4:00 am I was gently awakened by Abba, and His Presence and unquenchable power of His love enveloped me and exploded in my room. The song "I Am Not Alone" by Kari Jobe played over and over in my senses. Listen to the lyrics:

When I walk through deep waters
I know that You will be with me
When I'm standing in the fire
I will not be overcome
Through the valley of the shadow
I will not fear

I am not alone
I am not alone
You will go before me
You will never leave me

In the midst of deep sorrow
I see Your light is breaking through
The dark of night will not overtake me
I am pressing into You
Lord, You fight my every battle
And I will not fear

You amaze me
Redeem me
You call me as Your own

You're my strength
You're my defender
You're my refuge in the storm
Through these trials
You've always been faithful
You bring healing to my soul

The road to Canjilon gets pretty lonely at times  My CD player in my car is broken, so when the radio is silenced by the mountains surrounding me I am "alone" in a sense; yet, Jesus sang to me. Mark Hall from Casting Crowns who is fighting his own personal battle at this time wrote the song "All You've Ever Wanted," and the lyrics played in my head. Listen,

  I just looked up today
And realized how far away I am from where You are
You gave me life worth dying for
But between the altar and the door
I bought the lies that promised more
And here I go again

Lord, I know I let You down
But somehow, I will make You proud
I'll turn this sinking ship around
And make it back to You

But all my deeds and my good name
Are just dirty rags that tear and strain
To cover all my guilty stains
That You already washed away

(‘Cause) All You've ever wanted, all You've ever wanted
All You've ever wanted was my heart
Freedom's arms are open, my chains have all been broken
Relentless love has called me from the start
And all You wanted was my heart

I was chasing healing when I'd been made well
I was fighting battles when You conquered hell
Living free but from a prison cell
Lord, I lay it down today

So I'll stop living off of how I feel
And start standing on Your truth revealed
Jesus is my strength, my shield
And He will never fail me

No more chains, I've been set free
No more fighting battles You've won for me
Now in Christ, I stand complete

The power in the words of each song has an incredible ability to pick a wounded soldier up and restore the soul. Regardless of what happens I know His love, His insatiable love for "me!"  There are no words strong enough or sentiments deep enough to express to you this wonderful love. As I close this humble offering of encouragement to you this day, I hope  you will be strengthened once more by the power of this statement I shared with you a few days ago,

"I am now utterly convinced that on judgment day

the Lord Jesus will ask one question and one

question only, 'Did you believe that I

loved you?'"

Brennan Manning