"Quit looking at life like an adult and see
it through the eyes of a child."
Max Lucado
I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive
the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.
Mark 10:15
I believe that a child, when allowed to be a child, is utterly free and fearless to love, trust, accept, and live life the way we were created to enjoy it. As a young child in elementary school, although I experienced some disquieting things, for the most part I could escape into "my world" alone with Jesus, my best friend even then, and experience joy, laughter, happiness, the latter often transient.
Even if I felt something was remiss outside the shelter and safety of my world or that moment in time, still I was free.
As I've shared, I used to read a stack of books on the weekend and dreamed of life as a Burma surgeon, of being captured by the Apaches who raised me to live a better life, adapting simple, honest ways, or adrift on the open sea. I'd climb into my watch tower (a tree) and glance across the treetops of my Grammy's and Papa's property, and I'd mentally journey far away on a great adventure. You may be thinking all I did was waste time as a child, but I assure you, I never wasted time.
One of my fondest memories was visiting the country store in Sutherland run by Tom and Mary Puryear, then racing up the lane as fast as my little legs would carry me to spend time with Mary's mama, Mrs. Slate, who was sick, on bed rest. I loved visiting her as much as she enjoyed having me come. She'd entertain me with stories, and she'd have me pull out her ribbon and lace box with more stories associated with each one. I adored her, and she responded with love. Life was better then. Who could ask for more...a ribbon from Mrs. Slate and a button from my Grandmother. A home constructed of fallen leaves and sticks, and a stick horse to carry me safely to my destinations. I don't know which I loved the most the stick horses or my birch tree stallion. I was a swinger of birches and any other species of tree I encountered willing to grant me the thrill of the ride.
My mama told me I was a monkey, and if I didn't stop climbing trees my feet would grow like monkey feet. Somehow it never stopped me, but then I was not one to give up easily. She also warned me that I'd develop hemorrhoids if I didn't stop sitting and laying on rocks reading. Since I really never understood the connection, I wasn't bothered by the thought. Thankfully, her curse never took root. TMI (too much information) you may be thinking.
I've never been afraid of many "things" or threats. I have glimpses of a memory as a young child. I am standing in my little red wagon starring down at a snake that is coiled below me. I see in my mind's eye my aunt (Libbie she was then called) running to my rescue with a hoe with which she proceeded to mercilessly hack that poor moccasin to bits before it ventured too much closer to me. I guess I'm still a bit of a dare devil even to this day, but I love the freedom it offers. It's okay to be "free," but not reckless.
Somehow over the past few years, and especially the past six months, the child in me has ceased to dream. The wonder of it all has almost drifted out of sight, but then there's enough stubbornness in me to not give up. But I've been up and down, in and out, desperately seeking to understand and grasp hold of the vision God keeps bringing back to my mind, when all I want is a simple answer.
My favorite times, the most freeing ones, are when I'm traveling to Abiquiu, Santa Barbara River in Penasco, or the Sanctuario de Chimayo to sit by the quiet waters amidst red hills (Abiquiu), rocks and dense forest foliage (Santa Barbara) or fields of grassy meadows and farmland (Chimayo) with friendly horses to enjoy, at peace. My area of New Mexico truly is God's country, and I invite you all to visit me in my world. Here you find release, enjoy simple pleasures, gentle breezes, and some great food. You may encounter some not so friendly wildlife, but as long as you respect their turf and don't invade their space, you'll be okay. You'll even see snow in June (sometimes later) as my photo taken on Tuesday in Truchas will confirm:
My daughter and younger son both love this land, but times and events have changed, yet even so, I still dream, and I trust God, as a child, knowing He doesn't lie, regardless of the appearance of things. What He says is good enough for me, and I have entrusted my children to His safe keeping, where they remain. On that rock of truth I stand.
Over the past three days I have not looked at emails, nor have I answered the phone unless it was work related. I've avoided anything or anyone who may disturb the peace I so badly need. But, I have made my bed daily, eaten at the table twice, opened a few blinds and curtains, watered my sadly neglected plants, cleaned out the refrigerator, and had lunch dates with my friend twice in one week. I even purchased poster board for a children's art project I've been planning for some time. Slowly, Linda is coming back to life, the child within, free to "be."
As I sit here I have a smile on my face, remembering, imagining, visualizing mostly because Jesus is here beside me, and we're enjoying the memories together. He slips His arm around my shoulders and bids me to let go and leave things to Him. As God speaks to me I hear the words: "Jesus never had a place to lay His head, a place on earth called "home," yet look how He managed, just as I have always taken care of you. That will never change, My child, regardless, come what may, trust Me." To which my smile broadens, and I gaze more intently into the eyes of my Savior and say, "I will, Lord, I will. Come what may, I will."
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