Day 151 - Let's Make Art!

 

 "God has a thousand ways 

Where I can see not one;

When all my means have

reached their end

Then His have just begun."

Esther  Guyot

Trying to make sense of things is exhausting at times. Job wanted an explanation of "why?" Seems that's the ageless question many people have asked over the centuries of existence. But I'm really not so interested in the whys and wherefores as I am about the what. The question I am asking is "what, Lord?" and I will not be satisfied until He answers. But then, I guess He has, but I'm not listening or accepting very gracefully.

While I wait, it's in the day by day life I continue to find meaning. Some days are better than others, but I do know I serve a purpose here. As tiring and taxing as it often is, more often than not, it is still my life, and I don't want to change it. Well, not all of it, anyway. There are aspects of it that need changing, transforming, and engaging, but I often feel powerless to do so. I get caught up in the conundrums, and I become "stuck" in the riddles and conjecture. Funny, really, when it would be so much easier to simply trust. 

"Jesus' love does not depend upon what we do for Him. Not at

all. In the eyes of the King, you have value simply because

you are. You don't have to look nice or perform well.

Your value is inborn. Period."

No Wonder They Call Him Savior

 by

Max Lucado

There are often things we will never understand, and perhaps that is the better way. God has a way of rescuing us from ourselves, and I for one find that a wonderful blessing. He does after all see the bigger picture.

Time is a great healer, I feel. The memories are always there, often painful, bittersweet.  Still time can take the sting away.

My blogging becomes really remarkable at times. I don't know how I manage to pull all these thoughts together. But then, maybe all I do is write a bunch of garbage that satisfies my need in some way. It's my therapy, my way of releasing thoughts within this prison of my mind, and it's something I do faithfully. It's a daily goal I set with the others I set for myself, so I remember to breathe, laugh, and do something silly. Those are good goals. 

I'm an artist really, and I've been trying to rejuvenate the lost and dying part of my soul that feeds on creativity. I can look at one sunset and become inspired, or glance one scene and begin to paint or design an entire set before I turn the page, or hear the melody or lyrics of one new song and choreograph the dance moves in my head. I see commonplace items like buttons, nuts and bolts, photographs from a magazine, and I begin to see so many possibilities. I go to church, and I see the need for children's programs, and my imagination begins to create, design, compose, and organize. It becomes maddening.  It must be very frustrating being my friend.

The only escape I have for the moment is writing, at least until I can figure out what it all means. So bear with me, please.  Usually when I reach the point of overload answers that were right before my eyes become visible. The vision I have seen includes others, and the "others" are still at bay. So, as I wait, I'll make art in any way I can, even if it's only in my mind.

Day 150 - The Next Yes

"Like a plant that starts up in showers and sunshine and 

does not know which has best helped it to grow, it is

difficult to say whether the hard things or the

pleasant things did me the most good."

Lucy Larcom

So far this Saturday the morning has been pleasant once I got past the momentary panic of thinking it was Wednesday and that I had forgotten to set my Out of Office message. Temporary insanity seems to follow me these days, even after a seemingly refreshing night's sleep. At least it is only a momentary thing, and no, it is not "age related," a thought some feel it necessary to share with me often. I am still of the persuasion that "age" is a number and not a "fact of condition" or a death sentence. I will continue to think along the lines of the older people I have had the privilege of knowing who viewed our entire life as an adventure, not a getting off place at a certain age. I hope I never have that mentality. I pray I always live life to the fullest and with enthusiasm and courage, regardless of my economic status and age discrepancy.

(In) Courage, a blog I follow, offered wisdom to those of us who are going through times such as I've been experiencing for quite awhile now. I have been seeking guidance with regard to certain changes in my health and personal life, and the stress has not boded well. The writer of the blog said the remedy was in doing for others to get our minds off of self, which is my general day to day existence. It is the reason I can breathe and continue on. It is wonderful advice, because when we help others, even if only a hug or word of support and comfort, it does encourage us. It makes me feel I have purpose and meaning, and it is reciprocal, because I always feel so much better being around other people who are grateful, not pretentious, but exactly who they are. Or at least that has been my experience. My older son thinks I care too much about others, and that it is detrimental to my life and health. But that's okay, because it is part of who I am, a trait I learned from my parents and my Father, and one I know rubbed off on all three of my wonderful offspring.

The other part of the advice gleaned through the above-mentioned blog is that when waiting for direction from God to do the last thing He told us to do. Well, as I recall, He said "trust Me." But, He also told me some other things, some I feel powerless to do without more information, more divine guidance and, perhaps, writing on the wall. I don't know, maybe I'm dense when it comes to following directions. I'm a hands on person, so it may take a bit more effort in pounding the message home. At any rate I am waiting, listening, and doing...until I hear the next "yes."  With God's help I am setting daily personal goals, and little by little the stress is decreasing to the point where I can breathe, open a window, and enjoy the day with in courage, trusting Him.

Day 149 - Never Forget

"Someone convinced us that the human race is headed nowhere.

That man has no destiny. That we are in a cycle. That there is no

reason or rhyme this absurd existence. Somewhere we got the idea that 

the earth is just a spinning mausoleum and the universe is purposeless. 

The creation was incidental and humanity has no direction.

Max Lucado

No Wonder They Call Him Savior

"I know the plans I have for you, " declares the Lord, "plans to 

prosper you and not to harm you, plans of give you a future and a hope."

Jeremiah 29:11

"Remember, Paul begged, remember Jesus. Before you

remember anything, remember Him. If you forget anything,

don't forget Him. Oh, but how quickly we forget. So much

happens through the years.... And, somewhere, back there, we 

leave Him. We don't turn away from Him...we just don't take

Him with us. Assignments come. Promotions come. Budgets are

made. Kids are born, and the Christ...the Christ is forgotten."

 Six Hours One Friday

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for

the joy set before him endured the cross.... Consider him.

Hebrews 12:2-3

  "When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you,

till it seems as though you could not hang on a minute longer, never

give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.

Harriet Beecher Stowe

Time has a wonderful way of showing us what really matters.

He made everything beautiful in its time.

Ecclesiastes 3:11NIV

The debate continues between Job and his friends. Elihu, a younger man, who does not identify himself as a friend, appears on the scene, bringing his "knowledge" into the picture. Interesting.

This morning before the alarm went off I awakened happy for the day, but suddenly I forgot what day it was or even where I was, and the frenzy began. Calmly I am reminded, and I settle back into the warmth of my covers. The alarm goes off, and I thank God for the morning and rest in the night, and I rise in preparation for my day.

Somewhere during the time of preparing my breakfast and moving some opened and unopened mail I am presented with the knowledge that I have missed paying for my Country Living subscription, and I remember that another bill came in the other day. As I frantically begin to hunt for the misplaced bill, other thoughts begin to cloud my sanity and calm, and another panic begins.  I am wondering how in the world I am going to do everything I have scheduled on my calendar for the next two weeks and manage to squeeze in two more appointments who are urgent. Mentally I try to sort it out, and every thought turns into an impossibility due to conflicts in schedule either for myself or the person I need to see. Life comes in and almost steals my peace and composure for the day...until, I remember Jesus.

Day 148 - Reminders

“Suffering, failure, loneliness, sorrow, discouragement and death 

will be part of your journey, but the Kingdom of God will conquer

 all these horrors. No evil can resist grace forever.”

Brennan Manning

It's interesting how my old friend Brennan pops up in everything I read. I received the Vantage Point devotional for the prayer team I am part of for our government, and there was the above quotation. I guess the message is relevant when we think of the upcoming challenges for our nation as the political winds are blowing in preparation for the upcoming elections as well as standard every day stuff on capital  hill. No surprises there, and yet, in spite of whatever happens, I know that God is in control, and I am just going to stand my ground, pray, make my play, and wait. I'm getting better at the latter, but some days are taxing.

My blog really isn't meant to be about government goings on or anything politically inclined. My focus is praise and thanksgiving for every day blessings. So today I am grateful for another reminder 

of God's sovereign power and how I trust Him to fulfill His plan for my life as well as the lives of everyone who puts their trust in Him. No matter what happens, or no matter how things change daily, He remains true, never-changing, consistently who He says He is, and that is the best news I have for this day.

 

Day 147 - Flawed No More

 

Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten

 by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don't be afraid; 

you are worth more than many sparrows.

Luke 12:6-7

Flawless by MercyMe

There's got to be more
Than going back and forth
From doing right to doing wrong
'Cause we were taught that's who we are
Come on get in line right behind me
You along with everybody
Thinking there's worth in what you do

Then like a hero who takes the stage when
We're on the edge of our seats saying it's too late
Well let me introduce you to amazing grace

No matter the bumps
No matter the bruises
No matter the scars
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless
No matter the hurt
Or how deep the wound is
No matter the pain
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless

Could it possibly be
That we simply can't believe
That this unconditional
Kind of love would be enough
To take a filthy wretch like this
And wrap him up in righteousness
But that's exactly what He did

No matter the bumps
No matter the bruises
No matter the scars
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless
No matter the hurt
Or how deep the wound is
No matter the pain
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless

Take a breath smile and say
Right here right now I'm ok
Because the cross was enough

And like a hero who takes the stage when
We're on the edge of our seats saying it's too late
Well let me introduce you to grace grace
God's grace

No matter the bumps
No matter the bruises
No matter the scars
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless No matter the hurt
Or how deep the wound is
No matter the pain
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless

No matter what they say
Or what you think you are
The day you called His name
He made you flawless
He made you flawless

No matter the bumps
No matter the bruises
No matter the scars
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless

 

Day 146 - The Simple Life

My Tuesday has been fairly calm...busy, yes, as always, but not as taxing and minus complexities. When I am out and about I am in my element, and for the most part, I am happy and content, come what may. Yet, end of day comes, sun goes down, and reality hits again.

Tomorrow's my day off, but I have a mandatory meeting to attend, but that's okay. Then off to the Santa Fe, and so it goes. At least I don't have to get up too early, but knowing me, I'll be up at the first light of dawn or the first rooster crow.

I don't know why I started thinking about the simple life, but it sounds like me. So I decided to post a few of my findings for consideration.

This one has practical applications to life, and I think they're pretty reasonable unless of course you can't find the strength to consider it much less do it. Those days happen, more than not unfortunately.

This certainly isn't "my" simple life, but I am working on it. Sounds like a plan, doesn't it?!

Confucius was a brilliant thinker! As for the latter...I've been reading fairy tales my entire life.  Maybe that's why I believe in miracles! So as I close my day with thanksgiving for God helping me get through it...I am watching a "fairy tale," that just might come true!

Day 145 - Memories

I thank God every day for the memories I have, whether good or the ones where God made good on the not-so-good memories. Bittersweet memories can turn into sweet when the message speaks clearly of new beginnings and new found hope and courage.

As I sit quietly in my room this morning, listening, I can faintly hear the drone of motorcycles moving up and down the highway adjacent to my home. It's been this way for a week, as the all familiar pilgrimage began, of those paying their respects to our heroes who have been honored at the Vietnam National Memorial in Angel Fire, started by a father in memory of his son who was killed in Vietnam. I'm certain that in countless areas around our great nation people will gather to pay homage to the heroes who have fought and died for our nation's freedom. And so we should each day pray for those who give their lives in service to our nation and our world that God will keep them safe and safely return them home to their families.

Memorial Day is a time we remember all who have died, not solely in war, but in many walks of life. The point is that we remember, and we remember with love and appreciation. Not all happenstances in life are pleasant, so memories can be difficult to regard, yet God gives us the grace and courage to carry on and find hope in the midst of all circumstances, and that alone should honor memory. To find life and promise despite the present situation; to see the possible in the seemingly impossible envisioned by the natural eye, we see faith and hope. Miracles still happen. Dare to trust that belief, or better yet, trust it as knowledge.

I hope that as you remember that you will do so with a smile upon your face, regardless...!  Because our memories are more than mere passing day events. They are truths found in living a life where all things pass away, but new life begins.

Day 144 - Listening

 

 Jeremiah 29:11

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go.

I will counsel you and watch over you.

Psalm 32:8

Proverbs 3:5-6

I have grown restless over the past two years, unsettled even more so in the past six months or more. Last week I suddenly became very aware of my need, and I began to withdraw, without explanation to those who care the most for me. After realizing what I had done, and the harm it may do to further damage my relationships, I broke my silence and ended their suffering. This has taught me to be more compassionate towards the feelings of others who have extended friendship and love. These things are not to be taken lightly, so forgive me, please, dear friends, if you have been feeling betrayed or abandoned, as it has never been my intention to do so. I love and value you in return.

The one thing, probably the only thing, I understand in my life, is that I need so desperately to hear God's voice. He has been my true constancy my entire life, and although the desire has never changed, I have. Over the past months in my desperation to find answers I have turned to others, seeking advice, when the only voice I truly wanted was His. This may appear as being "too heavenly minded to be of earthly good" to coin a cliche; however, the only One who has stood with me through good and bad, who has loved me unconditionally in all my craziness and desperate wanderings, has been my Lord. He is my everything, and I have been abandoning Him!

In my desperation to be "normal" in the world's view, I have separated myself from the only clear voice there is, the only one that satisfies my soul, so I have been depressed and downtrodden at every conceivable turn. I still heard Him clearly on those occasions when the brokenness of my soul were so intense, yet I have ignored His every day plea to spend more time listening quietly. Finally last week in a moment of extreme despondency and agony of soul and spirit, I heard His voice against all the screams of the many tormenting rantings and ravings of my heart. My response was to quiet my soul and listen.

My health has been failing, as the dis-quietness of my life has taken a toil mentally, physically, and I fear spiritually. I love the Lord with all my heart, but I have allowed the other voices in my head to disrupt our sweet communion. This morning wanting so badly to fellowship with other believers I resigned myself to isolation again, but I heard His voice so clearly saying "trust me." So I did as He said, and immediately I knew who had the message this morning for me to hear. Everything I heard confirmed what I knew He was saying to me.

So now I wait in faithful obedience to my Savior and Lord, dedicating time, true time, spent with Him. You may not understand, but I ask that you trust me when I say this is necessary for healing. If you need me I am always here to listen, pray, and be your friend. But if I don't call or respond immediately, just know and trust that I am praying, as no request goes unheard. I will always be your friend, and I will always pray fervently for your needs. 

May God continually bless you and direct your lives. 

May the Lord bless you and keep you; may the Lord make

his face shine on you and be gracious to you;

may the Lord turn his face toward you

and give you peace.

Numbers 6:24-26

Day 143 - Alone...Waiting

The past few weeks I have been slowly separating myself from communicating with anyone outside of my work, so I could focus on hearing God's voice rather than the opinions of others. Sometimes I get so lonely for someone to understand me that I tend to lean more on the words of a friend, than those of my Father. He wants me to have trustworthy friends, and relationships are vital if we are to survive in this crazy world. Yet I can become too dependent on the thoughts or advice of others, needing more and more encouragement but feeling less secure and even more distanced.

For me I have always had many friends, but only a few really know who I am or understand...in part... what drives me. Even so sometimes I have to step away and wait for the answer to come from on high. I have been in a room of giggling, exuberant people of all ages and walks in life, or in a room filled with others professing to know Christ, yet I feel so alone. We share a common bond, the most important one, but I am alone, waiting.

God asked me over two years ago to trust Him, and it is the only answer I seem to get from Him now, except to gaze at a vision that has existed for close to 40 years. I have mentioned it before, and although there are times when I think it may possibly happen, at this moment it seems so very far removed. I so badly want to grasp something tangibly, and feel that there is a measure of happiness in this life for me.

In my practical mind I exist very simply, so grateful for the many blessings God has given, and I marvel at the wonderful lives others live, contented and thriving in love and all the good things in life. My idea of "good things" is often different from those of others, because I tend to view things from a different perspective. I so badly want a home to call my own, and I even want someone to share my dreams, yet...yet! When I take the side road view, dreaming for a bit, it seems that the same voice speaks softly in my ears..."Jesus did not have a place to lay His head."  I know my life is one of service to others, but I just desire one little plot of land, hidden away, isolated from everything where I can be quiet and "be." For now it is a rented home, somewhat distanced from others, but it is a prison more than an abode.

Realizing that, still I am not unhappy or disquieted, but I am becoming more and more aware of withdrawing from life, and sometimes I seem so powerless to do anything about it. It's just a fact of life. Reading Job isn't much fun in the midst of my contemplation, but there are words of wisdom within the diatribes of Job's "friends" and "comforters," and in those of Job. Sometimes I wonder why God allowed the conversations to go on so long, and yet, I don't even know how many days these verbals missiles were actually being launched against him. One thing's for certain, it was long enough, and then God had His say!

So for now those of you who wonder where I am or if I am well, please know that I am still here, still breathing, waiting...!

Day 142 - Resting

 

"You Raise Me Up"

When I am down and, oh, my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up to more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up to more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up to more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up to more than I can be.

You raise me up to more than I can be.

Day 141 - Dreams

Music is a huge part of my life. It lifts me up when I'm down, and it makes me melancholy and thoughtful when I'm in a pensive mood. I think that's why I love movie soundtracks.  I can live an entire lifetime in one score. A great movie always has a wonderful score. 

I just watched a movie called Red Wing, about a foster child living next door to a compassionate young lady who welcomed the young boy into her family and her obnoxious rancher husband who didn't care about anyone except himself. Typical. I won't tell you how it ends, but it was surprisingly wonderful. Life sure has it's twists and turns, in innocent ways. I'm glad innocence still exists.

Today wasn't such a crazy day, but I still didn't get as much done as I would have liked. But, tomorrow is another day, and I have a three day weekend to enjoy. Maybe I'll play music and drift off into happier times or really bust a move with Mama Mia, back to the crazy days.  Knowing me I imagine I'll watch something that takes me back in time or forward in some mystical journey into an unexpected life. Dreaming. Always dreaming.

But for now, time to take my ritual soak in the tub, so I can get to some serious down time and hopefully a few dreams to help me drift off into my own little world.

Hope you sleep well, and may your dreams bring a little bit of heaven to earth for you!

Day 140 - Friends

What shall I bestow upon a friend?

Fleeting moments of silent blessings;

trust in tomorrow, which is life's hardest task;

faith that each new dawn brings daylight's golden

pathway to the ever-open door; and a belief that God

will be with them though all others go their way.

Lea Palmer

Sometimes life gets beyond overwhelming to the point of wondering what's the point of trying to make things work. We become desperate, lose all sense of peace, faith dwindles, and we are the proverbial basket case in a sea of floating sunken dreams! I guess I just don't want to go down with the hopeless into the sea of broken promises and regrets. I will somehow remain the eternal optimist, because I know the real Eternal Optimist, and in spite of myself, He holds my hand, even when my palms are wet with sweat from desperation.

He sends me friends, or he sends others to me to befriend who need hope and laughter, because I always seem to have an over-abundant supply of the stuff, even when I feel like I am falling apart. I guess it's a reality check for me when someone comes to me for advice. I put aside my own "stuff," and listen compassionately to the heart cries of another. And even if I share some of my inconsistencies, I can always offer the true hope, the true answer, and we always end up laughing, because laughter speaks volumes about living life to the fullest.

 

 

Day 139 - Laughter

I have seen what a laugh can do. It 

can transform almost unbearable

tears into something bearable,

even hopeful.

Bob Hope

Wednesday, my day off! A time to collect my thoughts, rest my mind, and dream!  Trouble is I don't think I will do much dreaming tomorrow. I need to rest from my weariness and just find peace. Seems like that is my goal every day.

Today I spent the majority of my day with friends, fellow team members, and we did manage to laugh a lot, and we learned a few things. It is always good to relax, take it easy, and not worry about anything. Putting everything into the right perspective.  That is the key. Still we manage to get so upset over the least little thing. I know firsthand that it can wreck an otherwise calm day. We need to cultivate the harvest of thinking before we speak or react. Often this seems so impossible.

Good humor is a tonic for mind and body.

It is the best antidote for anxiety and

depression. It is a business asset. It attracts

and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens.

It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.

Grenville Kleiser

Funny that even when you are overwhelmed, stretched to the nth degree, when you are around friends or co-workers in a relaxed atmosphere, rather than a crowded room, we can laugh at the silliest things. For lunch we went to a deli that has an entrance through the bar area. I made the comment that it would really look good if someone flashed a photo of all of us marching into this bar with our business identification hanging around our necks. Image the notoriety. Well, that may not be so bad after all, because if one photo is worth a thousand words, well, you get the point! But we were merely headed into the deli - trust me! 

We listened to oldies, Motown -  one of my all time favorites, and we shared dreams, photos of landscaping, and real life issues. It was fun, and it is something we have to look forward to on a monthly basis. That helps as it is something to look forward to doing together.

Life can be good, even in the midst of impossible demands! Thank God we have these bright spots in an otherwise hard to cope existence.

 

Day 138 - Long Day Over

If I was a coffee drinker, this would be me!

If I decide to stay up awhile, this will be me!

 The cat was inspired by my exhaustion...that is IF I had a cat, he would be influenced by my exhaustion of the day. Just wanted to get the point across. THIS WAS AN EXHAUSTING DAY!!  The good thing is...I survived!

Another Thought

Yet it was the Lord's will to crush him

and cause him to suffer, and through the Lord

make his life a guilt offering, he will see his 

offspring prolong his days, and the will of the 

Lord will prosper in his hand.

Isaiah 53:10

 

Reading along in the book of Job and studying my In Christ's Image lessons has interesting parallels. Although Job had not yet been introduced to the promised Savior in his day, so he was not aware of how Jesus paid for our sins with his life.  Still I can see the connection of how God allows tests in our lives to prove our genuine desire to be like Christ, to have our lives transformed by the renewing of our minds and characters. It's one thing to "talk" about living for Christ, and quite another to actively "live" the life. It's about being authentic, a thought we've visited before.

We become angry at the sin and evil in the world, and we justify it by saying that Jesus got angry and chased the moneychangers out of the temple, so it is okay for us to be angry.  But let's look at the scripture - Ephesians 4:26 says, "In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold."

All of us become angry at times, upset over situations that we are unable to resolve. Francis Frangipane shares that it is particularly upsetting when the one for whom we have been praying suddenly turns on us. While this is disappointing, stand strong, because God is using this as an opportunity to grow your faith in Jesus. Think about it....  When the very people Jesus fed, prayed for, and encouraged turned on Him, how did He respond?  As He endured the agony of the cross, as His blood was being sprinkled out as a guilt offering, what did He say? "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do."  So too, if we truly, genuinely desire to grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus, then this should be our response.

What particularly struck me about the teaching was that if we continue to "hash over" the things in our mind and in our conversations with others, what is upsetting us or the offense against us, then we are being hypocritical or two-faced, and the love of God is far from us. We don't like to think about it, but I see the subtle line here, and I have been so guilty of nursing and rehearsing, but not reversing. I may even pray, "Father, forgive them...." yet what happens to the "forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us." 

How many times do we pray the Lord's Prayer without really acknowledging the meaning of the words?  "Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy Name. Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth, as it is in heaven."  We are praying for heaven to be here on earth. Did you catch that?  Sadly, to many this prayer has become rote, repeated without understanding the actual intent of the prayer. Much like the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5 we miss the point. Perhaps that's why God keeps bringing me back to this passage of scripture. He wants me to truly see and understand how it is to be applied to my life as I am being transformed into Christlikeness.

God goes to such great lengths to perfect us in every day situations. Francis is fond of saying, "an imperfect world is job security for an intercessor."  Hopefully, I quoted him correctly, but if not, you get the point. James say, "the perfecting of our faith works patience," and we are to allow patience to have it's perfect work in us.

Sometimes I don't feel up to the challenge, but apparently God must have more confidence in me than I do in myself.  So as I'm muddling through my transformation process, it is my prayer that I recognize the opportunities for what they are - opportunities to demonstrate the love and forgiveness of God, and in so doing, planting seeds for His Kingdom come right here, right now.

Day 137 - Just Judge

No one gives advice with more enthusiasm

than an ignorant person.

Our Daily Walk

Job, a righteous man before God, has been put to the test. In his human frailty he cries out to God in the midst of his helplessness.  Although he curses the day he was born and feels death more enviable than life, nonetheless, He praises God as the Lord of his feeble life. "When three of Job's friends heard of the tragedy he had suffered, they got together and traveled from their homes to comfort and console him.... Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and nights. No one said a word to Job, for they saw his suffering was too great for words." (Job 2:11,13)

Job's three friends, Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar witnessed the tragedy behind their friend's suffering, yet when in his weakness he speaks impulsively (Job 6:2-3), as anyone would do, Job is condemned and presumed guilty. And so it goes.

The author of the above poem has nailed the response. "Good luck amateur critics of humanity, when you face that Judge!"

 

Sadly, it is true that the people who know you least, including family members, are the ones who think they know better.  We each have one life to live, and if our initial choices prove to be disappointing, thank God we have the courage to pick ourselves back up and start again, rather than lying in the dust feeling sorry for ourselves. It takes courage to stand in the face of persecution from those you thought knew and loved you, but we choose to walk in forgiveness towards those who hurt and offend us, because this is how Jesus taught us to respond. It is an amazing feeling to realize that when you come face to face with the one talking the most, God can give you a love that surpasses any human understanding or compassion. Trust me...I've been there!

There may be those who are reading this blog who have judged me by hearsay. True friends go to their friend to determine the facts rather than listen to murmurings. Of course I have been guilty of much in my life, but so has every one who lives. To God sin is sin without deliberation of which is the worse one.  He is the just God, the one who vindicates, forgives, heals, and loves and extends grace to all who humble themselves, seeking to walk in love, living a life of Christlikeness. I praise God for my Just Judge, the healer of wounds and deliverer of all hurts. Rather than walk in judgment, I choose to live in grace.

Day 136 - Where are we?

Let my soul take refuge....beneath the shadow of

Your wings; let my heart, this sea of restless waves,

find peace in You, O God.

Augustine

All is quiet around me except for the gentle rainfall I hear outside my doors. It is almost noon, and yet the day seems fresh and new to me. Each days brings new beginnings as we put behind us the disappointments and sadness of yesterday. Often, for many, the new day is not an escape from troubles, as there seems to be no escape.

I am beginning my study of Job, a man of integrity who honored God in all his ways, and as a result he was wealthy, successful, and respected. Yet, God allowed him to be tested in every area of his life.  Why would a loving God allow such to happen to a man who honored God in all his ways?  Yet when tragedy first knocked Job to his knees, he praised and worshiped his Lord. That was Job's first response, the scriptures say.

I've shared my work, the things I see, the emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual sufferings of this life are not new to me. In my personal life I have been tested over and over, sometimes day in and day out, yet my sufferings are nothing compared to the heartbreak I see in a day.

I feel so helpless when one who has worked for years to take care of her elderly, disabled, and impoverished parents suddenly is the victim of an accident leaving her crippled and unable to provide a simple living for her two dependent children. In spite of her pain and pride she tries to make ends meet while helping her parents stay in their homes. So she pays the utilities one month, but she gets behind in the mortgage. Her pride shaken she reaches out to the churches for assistance and is turned away. We, the hands and feet of Jesus, are turning people in need away. My heart is broken, and I feel so ashamed. 

This week has been a particularly disturbing ones as continuing situations are left unresolved and resources for assistance are limited or unavailable. Legalities yield further obstacles, and there seem to be no viable answers for immediate need. I feel so ill-equipped, so powerless and helpless in the face of such extraordinary circumstances. And although all in the health care field share common experiences, this area in which I serve is devastating. 

Within the Body of Christ there are those who suffer physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially, their spiritual health tested, but we remain strong in the strength of our God. We have discovered the secret of the words "strength in weakness," and we are able to persevere during these times.

That is why I am suffering..... But I am not

ashamed of it, for I know the one in whom I trust,

and I am sure that he is able to guard what I have entrusted

to him until the day of his return.

2 Timothy 1:12

 

Others I encounter, do not share this faith in Christ as Lord of their lives, so they cannot grasp the strength of which I speak. Although I always share my testimony with others of God's unfailing love, in these times of desperation they do not need our words as much as our tangible proof as Christians being Christ in action. They see our lives first, then test our actions against our words. Jesus went around doing good. And as His Body so should we be doing, providing proof of His love through our deeds.

I have been sharing with you my dream of establishing homes for misfits and ragamuffins like myself who desperately need to see the tangible hand of God in action. Those who can come and feel love and support, know they are valued and loved, receiving help to regain their own self-worth and learn to live and support themselves while caring for others. So they can grow and go out into the world paying this same love forward to others who are desperate and alone. 

In this blog I shared my dream:

Thursday, November 28, 2013

My Island of Misfit Toys

There is a place where I can go and not feel alone. A place of wonder, beauty, laughter, acceptance and new beginnings.  A place where trust and respect are not earned but granted freely. Where I can go without the guilt and shame of past regrets imprisoning me.  To a place where I feel worthy, believed in, accepted for who I am, capable of accomplishing the impossible, helped when I am weak, forgiven when I am wrong. A place where I can forgive myself and others, realizing we are all fragile and capable of wrong thoughts and deeds, but where we can rise above anything on the wings of faith. To begin again, to be made brand new, with the strength of others, who are just like me, just like you. No longer alone, no longer excluded, living together in harmony, love and faith. Where the impossible dreams become possibilities and realities! 

This dream, this vision, was first revealed to me thirty or more years ago, and the older I get, the more I encounter the disparities and incongruities of this life, the more certain I am that this is a call from God. He places compassionate people who identify with this call into my path daily, and I know that once established I have responsible people who can watch over the needs of the people, inspiring them in my absence, as I go on to the begin the next one and the next one. This dream requires financial support, yet I know that God wants to entrust me with the needed funds, and He has gifted me with the ability to achieve this goal. 

But for now, for this present need in my small area of the world, I want to set up a Hands and Feet Fund through my local church, and hopefully go on to see like response in the other churches. Imagine the impact one can have, then think of the possibilities when all follow suit. Is this achievable? I believe so. Jesus, upon His ascension into heaven, said we were to go into all the world and share the Good News. How better able are we to accomplish this mission than by doing?!

I am asking your help!  Will you help me help others? Will you be His hands and feet?  Perhaps you will feel impassioned to begin your own Hands and Feet Fund within your church. Pray about it, as it may be an answer to your prayer for being used in God's service. We each have a call, and we all are talented and gifted in different ways. Don't wait to be used by God. Others need your love in action.

Thanks for listening, and I covet your prayers as I continue to strive to help those within my reach find assistance and the Good News.

Day 135 - Abiding Peace

The fruit of our placing all things
in His hands is the presence of
His abiding peace in our hearts.

Hannah Whitall Smith

Ceaseless chaos seems to follow me on a daily basis. I am beginning to think that no one lives a "normal" life, and yet, what exactly is normal?! I admit, sometimes it is a bit harrowing, but I am gaining a foothold on peace and maintaining my composure in the midst of interactions, mediation, and getting a grasp on reality. Today was another whirlwind of adventure, yet I managed to survive it somewhat calmly. Now if  you multiply one isolated situation several times you will get a smidgen of a taste of my life. Hectic does not quite describe it!

I have set my tasks for the weekend, and I even dusted a bit in my room tonight to get a head start on my cleaning. I pray that when tomorrow comes, as my daughter says, I will be equipped to start right in on my two major goals, cleaning and dusting. Then who knows, I may get more energetic and do something fun!

Thank you, Father, for peace and a good night's rest.

 

Day 134 - Setting Goals

A friend understands what you are

trying to say...even when your 

thoughts aren't fitting into

words.

Ann D Parrish

Thank God for a good day! I was passing through Georgia O'Keeffe country en route to Chama this morning, and the colors were absolutely breathtaking! Plus, all the rain has made everything along the way so green and fresh. There was a slight hint of rain this afternoon as I was heading back down the pass, with a few sprinkles. The river is high, and if it comes a heavy downpour it might possibly flood.

The best part of my day is traveling and visiting people. While in Chama I met several people from the East Coast, including Virginia, who were traveling as part of a senior tour group. They were having the time of their lives enjoying all the good things our Southwest has to offer. I didn't ask them if they were headed to Santa Fe or another direction, but wherever they were going I wished them well and a great trip. It is my considered opinion that everyone who is able to travel should come to Northern New Mexico during your lifetime, as it is extraordinarily beautiful. But then I'm a little prejudice as I've been here since 1987, and I never tire of the scenery or the people. Not that some days aren't challenging, but all in all, it's a pretty great place to live.

This morning I was reading about setting long term goals as part of my Bible study. Some of the things listed I've already done or am doing now, but the one that caught my eye is "write a book." Now that's on my high priority list, and thus far I would say I am making headway in accomplishing that goal. The thing I need to do is make more time to put it all together, so I can begin to accomplish the other goals on my list pertaining to my "island of misfit toys" aka "ragamuffins." There's much to do, and many people need support, so I would appreciate your prayers for direction.

Since my return from Sipapu and my quiet time alone with God in nature, I have purposed a few changes to my focus in life. Not really changing my focus, as I cannot change the vision God has given me, but I can work on my attitude.  I can also take charge of my life, and with His help and the prayers of others who support me, I know nothing is impossible. God has done some pretty amazing things in my life, and He's gifted me with the ability to accomplish others.  I don't want to disappoint Him.  I want His will for my life...on earth as it is in heaven.

I shared with a friend this morning that I have set two goals for this upcoming weekend:

1. Clean my house
2. Dust my house

These may seem simple to you as they are menial cleaning tasks, but for me it has not been quite that simple. So for now, I am setting attainable daily goals, and this includes my work life as well. When things seem insurmountable I purpose to breathe, take five, pray, and do the best I can.  After all, if my best is what I can do, then the day was well spent. Knocking my head against a stone wall hasn't been much fun, and quite honestly I'm tired of the pain without gain.

Day 133 - Hope in God

Lift up your eyes. The heavenly Father
waits to bless you - in inconceivable

ways to make your life what you

never dreamed it could be.

Anne Ortlund

Waiting on God to reveal His plans is often difficult for me, not because I don't trust Him, but I become impatient. I look at my age, and my situation, or better put, my lifestyle, and I begin to compare it to those my age who are living the dream, or rather, appearing to do so. I marvel at my life, and the things that God has done for me, in spite of myself, and I know He's with me always. He has directed my life in ways I could never have imagined. He has introduced me to people of many origins and descents who have the same values and hopes as I. I believe in divine appointments, and I know my steps are ordered by Him.

Still in trying to be patient and persevering I seem to buckle under the slightest miscalculation, and once more my soul becomes disquieted, and my immediate path uncertain. I have been striving over the past year to become more like Jesus in my thoughts, interpretations, focus on all things, but I feel so far from having a character like Christ. In Christ's Image Training has re-introduced me to men and women whose lives have been tested, tried, and purified by fire, as well as some I was not familiar with personally, but whose writings I did know. Amazing walks of faith and personal testimonies of the greatness of our God. People who are not afraid to humble themselves and be transparent about their feelings, lack of faith at times, and need for direction and miracles.

In this morning's Daily Walk in the section marked "My Daily Walk" this thought is posed:

"Do you believe in prayer? Esther believed in prayer enough to go before the king at an unappointed time with an unlikely request, though it could have meant swift death (Esther 4:11, 16; 5:2). Would you have done that?

The story is told of a midwestern town suffering under a searing drought.  All the townspeople finally decided it was time to gather the clergy and assemble for prayer. The whole town turned out to pray for rain - but only one person, a small girl, brought her umbrella.

When you pray, are you like the townspeople or the little girl? Do you like Esther, pray first and then live in the confidence of God's answer? Are your prayers specific enough that, when God answers, you notice a difference? In the margin write down a a specific request for provision, protection or guidance. For the next week focus your prayers on that item. You might even want to put your umbrella in an unusual place to remind you throughout the week to watch for God's answer!"

This is a faithful reminder to me from a loving Friend that He has not forgotten me, and His promise that He does hear my heart cries. I admit sometimes, many times lately, my prayers for direction have been weak and feeble, and my hope dim. Lord, forgive me, and help my unbelief.

As I go off today to attend to mundane tasks it is my desire that I would do so with a new spring in my step and lift of my hope expecting a miracle of faith today. May I encounter a new direction to my life and a reassurance of God's great hand upon me and His unfailing love for all that concerns me. That includes prayers not just for myself, but my prayers for you, my friends! May the Lord bless you continuously!